Another way I understand this is:
Sometimes incompetence gets to a point where it will have the same effects as malice, and even if you were not being malicious, you still have a responsibility to own the consequences of your ignorance.
Accountability is necessary for society to work properly and for relationships to grow trust.
If someone who should, doesn’t know something, they still have a responsibility to others to deal with present consequences and do better next time.
Simple interaction I had the other day to illustrate that:
A lady cut in line in front of me at the drugstore.
I decided to let go and wait for her to go first, because ain’t nobody got time for that. A person who was with her pointed out that I had been waiting in line.
She looked around, said a little flippantly, “No, she wasn’t,” then thought better and asked me, “were you?”
“I was, actually,” I said, “but it’s fine, you can go.”
She immediately left her place and opened space for me. “Oh, my God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t notice, please go ahead. My head is not right these days, I’m so worried about-” how she is sick and taking some new meds, etc, and still insisted that I check out before her when I said again that it was fine.
She was not malicious, she was distracted, but as soon as she was made aware of her mistake she apologized and took the steps to fix it.
I payed for my stuff, said, “don’t worry about it, hope you get well soon” and went on my way, feeling a bit better about humanity in general.
If you found you’re in the wrong, knowing that mistakes are an inescapable part of life makes it easier to admit them and fix things with grace.
But in general, assuming ignorance/incompetence instead of malice dials situations down from offenses to simply annoyances.
It’s not that humanity sucks. It’s just that people make mistakes, which is a much less cynical way of approaching life.
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