The Horror of Heart Types 👹🫀 Enneagram Types 2, 3 & 4 (How to Type People)
I get asked a lot what Enneagram material I recommend, and my go-to is Riso & Hudson. I’ll be expressing previously understood and uncovered concepts as well as my own interpretations. My understanding pathway is informed by what I find profoundly irritating about the types via personal experience, so this won’t be a flattering, soft-focus Baby Blue production. More like a handheld camera with cubicle office lighting that makes everyone look like they’re decaying and septic.
We’re all doing our own Ego’s version of being terrible. Don’t worry, none will be left unscathed. If you’re a pain piggie, please enjoy torturing yourself in the name of enlightenment and self-growth.
MISINTERPRETING THE SELF-IMAGE 👀
Image Types or Heart Types (Enneagram 2, 3, 4) are “shame” types - or another way to look at it is a type that’s trying to avoid shame. Their unconscious goal is to circumvent feeling humiliation through their self-image, identity and sense of self. All attempts to drag their self-concept through mud, “misrepresent” it or distort it must be fended off (even if it’s true).
Image Types are trying to outrun the hounds of shame by fixating and doubling-down on their self-concept. Their existence hinges on being able to deflect shame hot potatoes and keep their fantastical self-symbol alive and protected. Hiding in the closet from the barking dogs that howl, “You’re not the way you think you are! Here’s how you actually are!”
If you inadvertently trigger this wound, this fight or flight response, and unknowingly pass them a shame hot potato, you might find it spiked back into your face. Triggering this response can come about by doing or saying something that reveals to them they’re not in alignment with how they think they are.
For a 2, that upset could be caused by you pointing out where their “help” had negative consequences; you don’t need their help with something they’re trying to insert themselves in, suggesting they have a self-motivated agenda, or by not appreciating the 50 cookies they brought to the party. Reductive, but also true. You made them feel unnecessary or seen as uncaring.
For a 3, that can be treating their value (usually dictated by the instinct) as trivial or unimportant. 3’s can even be triggered by encountering someone who is “better” at whatever their ego resides in (being attractive, competent, skilled, talented, popular or prolific - something that’s instinctually “valuable” to them and usually others).
For a 4, that could be something as simple as treating them as if they’re not a rarity, not catering to their preciousness, or forgetting to walk on eggshells in their presence. Or if you compare them to someone or their creations to something else. You might get a cutting look or a “How dare you?” if you request them to engage in lowly trash pursuits (4w3) or something that’s showy and fake (4w5). 4’s are the only ones allowed to have a rider of special exceptions everywhere they go (it’s implied, not necessarily dictated). To expect them to participate like a regular person is insulting.
And it doesn’t matter if the 2 isn’t actually helpful or needed, the 3 isn’t actually valuable or impressive, or the 4 isn’t actually rare or deep. This is the lie they must believe about themselves in order to survive. 2’s, 3’s, and 4’s will do anything to keep the shame hot potato from staying in their lap. They must spike it away from themselves; eject it from their consciousness lest it wrap its roots around their heart and devour their most prized organ (and sense of identity).
SHAME & “THAT’S NOT ME” 😳
All image types auto-reflexively “no” at “misinterpretations” of their self-image (how they see themselves). It’s a dagger straight into their sense of worth. It can inflict agony upon them to be confronted with information contrary to the fantasy they paint of themselves. How this “no” can manifest is quite literally (“No, (insert image correction)...”), doubling down on what they said, repeating the same thing in a different way, a hostile over-reaction, or getting irritated and ending the interaction. Everyone has a heart center, so we all do our heart center to a degree, but you’ll notice this kind of thing more with core Heart/Image Types.
This process is not about you, it’s about the Image Type and how they perceive themselves. And this mirage is created to avoid the pain of shame on the identity level. Shame can make you feel violated, disgusting, degraded and left in tatters on the floor. As if someone has pissed in your face. Which is why “hostility” is associated with the image center (although other types can be hostile), because this is the hill they’ll die on. It’s where their self-worth resides.
A 2 “no’s” at you “misunderstanding” their loving, positive and helpful good intentions - how could it be anything but that? I am but an angel of spiritual nutrition and delicious tiddy to all who are worthy. They’ll double-down on how charitable and big-hearted they are. To be seen as uncaring or self-serving would cause them tremendous shame. Therefore, they have no malintent, nothing they do ever has negative consequences, and you (dependent, family, lover, close friend) absolutely need them. And if they feel you don’t need them and they cannot create a situation in which you do need them, the relationship may experience a rough patch. Because not being needed or having their caring received as caring, is so painful to them on the identity level. They may continuously try to become necessary in your life, often like a broken record, offering you what they think you “need” via their dominant instinct (social, sexual or self-preservation aka money/food/useless shit).
A 3 “no’s” at you “misunderstanding” their valuable, attractive and skilled - whether it’s actual skills (sp), popularity (so) or sex appeal/magnetism (sx) - self-image. This will be flavored by their wings. Maybe you misunderstood (or interrupted) their 3w2 story about a special connection they had with someone else (which insinuates their value), or how people threw them a party (which insinuates how desirable they are to others). Or, perhaps, you interrupted or misunderstood their existential 3w4 story about how the grind is wearing them down (which insinuates they suffer for their success) or how other people are getting in the way of their success (it’s never a 3’s fault - they’re perfect), or how all of these people find them so attractive that they’re constantly being hit on (insinuating their sexual market value). You’ll understand, they are more or better than others in some area their ego likes to hangout. Because to feel “less than” or a “loser” in this category stirs up a great deal of shame and horror. It makes them feel worthless, which causes them to go into the 3’s coping strategy of Image PR Mode - and if that means destroying you in the process, so be it. If you wound a 3’s self-image by not recognizing or appreciating their worth - or worse, you inadvertently outdo them, call out their competitive BS, or point out the holes in the mounting deceptions they’re weaving - they will set out to ruin your image and reputation behind the scenes to pass the Shame Hot Potato onto you. (Personal experience, verified.) They do this to regain their sense of self and fend off the hounds of shame at the door.
A 4 “no’s” at you “misunderstanding” their tragic, unfixable and precious separateness - you can’t and won’t be able to understand it or relate to it (by design). A 4 is the only one not wearing a mask (this is their Ego talking), and existing in a plane of personal and creative significance and meaning that is unknowable to others. They will auto-reflexively have a disgust response if you (a phony) attempt to insert, compare or attach your shallow experience to the melodramatic romance and artistic suffering of their experience. Or worse, you try to inflict your hideous “vision” or “aesthetic” onto them. Because you’re being fake and they aren’t. You can’t possibly relate to their experience, because that would mean they have something in common with an empty low-life like you. Not possible - their ego will not allow that narrative to invade the 4’s consciousness. And so it is you who are in the wrong for attempting such an act of profanity. They may even try to unconsciously “one-up” your sob story/special melodrama with the kind of shit that many people keep hidden or would view as a weakness or defect. There’s not room for more than one special exception, just so we’re clear.
More on 4 (because why not?)...
For most people, relating is how they feel “safe” and connect with others. Relating and connecting puts the 4’s entire self-concept in danger. It’s ruining their fantasy (which is everything). If they “relate” to you, give you special attention, or invite you into their experience, they are making a sacrifice or they’ve taken a shine to you. This is a grand act of generosity, from their perspective. This is not autopilot. They do not feel obligated to do this. This is a conscious choice and it is your honor. They’ve carved out a little cushion for you, treasured guest. And because the “special exception” type has made a special exception for you, it can leave them feeling utterly violated and degraded if they made the wrong call (and the other person may have no idea what they even said or did to insult the 4 because their list of qualms are so specific to them).
A 4 wishes to connect under the mask, into the depths and truth of someone (which is often disturbing to others, negative, horrible or tragic). If they’re making the great sacrifice of connecting with you, it’s because they deem you worthy of their highly limited and precious “other-oriented” resources. There’s something they find special about you (often conditionally) but it’s an act of charity on their part. When a 4 is being “kind” to someone, it’s because it’s reflecting back to them something meaningful about themselves or because they find something significant in their connection with that person. Maybe that person speaks to their heart, seems sincere enough to engage with, or is so fascinating, beautiful, or conversely strikingly hideous to the point of intrigue, that they capture the 4’s sense of romance or imagination. Or maybe they can just sense a creative pearl forming beneath the surface that a reactive-heart interrogation would bring to the surface.
Having said that, good luck if you’re actually suffering and expect the 4 to hold space for more than an hour while you out-suffer their suffering. An unconscious horror will wash upon them as they become less and less the tragic star of their own film, and may have to quickly end communication, “one-up” you with their own tale of woe or some other tragic affair or spin a narrative of how you somehow cursed them or interrupted their creative process, or some such.
IMAGE ATTACK & IDENTITY NUDITY 🩸🗡️
When an Image Type’s image is “attacked” (whether it actually is or not), they feel naked and disgusting. As if the lights have all been turned on inside the house and they didn’t have time to get dressed and make themselves look good. And every wall is now a magnified reflective surface - a house of distorted mirrors, a carnival freakshow. You’ve seen something they don’t want you to see, because it’s something that even they cannot look at themselves. And now they’re staring at it and cannot look away. It’s something that makes them feel so profoundly inadequate that they had to create this heart-shaped fantasy in order to cope with it. For someone else, that “thing” may be totally “whatever” but this is the thing the Heart Type’s soul has chosen as its cross to bear.
The 2 fears they’re unlovable and unworthy if they’re not loving and nurturing. They will be lost in the sea of others, with no one who cares about them and no connections to their own heart (because their heart’s survival requires the blood of others). They control the narrative of their heart by self-sacrificing, giving and loving. They turn themselves into a nest that holds you and cares for you and you cannot survive without.
The 3 fears they’re unlovable and unworthy if they’re not valuable, desirable, and impressive. They will be lost in the sea of others, and overlooked and forgotten. They control the narrative of their heart by comparing, competing and achieving. They turn themselves into a desirable “star”, a recognizable and impressive trophy. They often surround themselves with other trophies that make them look good by proxy (reflecting back their worth), or make them appear more impressive when sitting next to them on a shelf (because they’re a smaller/less impressive trophy but still acceptable to their image to associate with or gain a supply of validation from).
The 4 fears they’re unlovable and unworthy if they’re common, shallow and relatable. They’ll be lost in the sea of the faceless masses, with no creative significance or true meaning. They control the narrative of their heart by withdrawing, distancing and separating themselves. They turn themselves into a rare, precious, cryptic and one-of-a-kind symbol. This isn’t dissociating or ghosting to the 9’s who relate to this, this is melodramatic and active pain used to self-generate ink and paint. Their absence is noticed. That’s the point.
This pain of abasement is so profound and bone-rattling, that the Image Type will do anything to avoid it - both consciously and unconsciously.
IMAGE TYPES & THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO THE “MIRROR” 🪩
Image types are “mirror” types insofar as it’s all about how they see themselves and how that is reflected back to them. I personally think all Image Types view other people as an appendage or reflection of themselves. 2’s to feel needed and loved, 3’s to feel valued and worthy, and 4’s to feel separate and creatively significant.
The Image Center is using you to bolster their self-concept.
2’s use you to feel loved, needed, and give themselves permission to have and do something they feel too ashamed to have/do directly. You’re needed for their Superego to justify the love they show themselves. They gave you their old sweaters - an act of self-sacrifice - and now they have permission to buy themself a new one. They put you first (their child, or loved one) and sacrificed their big dream, and so now they get to (shamelessly) live through your dream, knowing without them your dream would not have been possible.
3’s use you to elevate their self-image and sense of worth and value through comparison, competition, imitation and emulation. 3’s need you (whether you’re someone they admire, aspire to be like, someone they view as a rival or a rung on a ladder, or perhaps you’re someone they wish to acquire - like a trophy wife, or possess something they want) in order to feel self-worth. Once they have your validation or praise, they feel worthy. Once they have achieved something you could not achieve, they feel worthy. Once they’re seen as the exemplar, then they finally feel good enough. They need you, because without you they have no metric of their worth.
4’s use you to deepen their experience and understanding of themselves through whatever roiling emotions and tragic narratives they’re projecting onto you - disgust, unhinged passion, love of their life, despair, inutterable hatred, etc. Or perhaps you serve some utility in their self-excavation (a cameraman documenting the story of their life). Or perhaps being in your presence reinforces the narrative that they’re separate and “deep” because compared to you, shallow vulture, they can’t help but be. The juice you provide is specific to the narrative that the 4 has created about themselves that highlights how distanced they are from others. And when you fail to deliver on this highly implausible fantasy or you fail to see and adequately appreciate how special they are - OR heaven forbid, your needs become too front and center - they will paint you fuckin’ OUT of frame in the most melodramatic or insulting way possible (insofar as it feeds into their tragic narrative of suffering and separation). 4’s aren’t negatively identified with “separation” the way 9’s and 6’s are, they like it that way.
I want to reiterate that it’s not about you. It’s about them.
2 is pointing the mirror at you and seeing themself in the reflection. Your wins are their wins. Your achievements are thanks to their help. Your problems are their problems. According to the picture they paint, they even suffer more than you do when you’re in pain. They find self-worth and keep the hounds of shame at bay through how much you need them and are grateful for them.
3 is having sex with you in a wall-sized (or ceiling, depending on your preference) mirror. They’re watching themselves fuck you, dominate you, seduce you, manipulate you, outdo you, destroy you, even BECOME YOU - believing you’ll never have better and they should charge you for the experience. And after they’re done, they may even rob your ass or steal your spouse just because they can. Of course, how a 3 seduces, fucks and destroys you will be largely dependent on other factors of their personality (an SP/SO 3 with a 9 gut will be much more subtle about the entire affair because they’re more prone to gaslighting themselves about their own intentions, whereas an SP/SX 3-8 won’t be as bothered to hide their bloodlust). They find self-worth in this pursuit, and keep the hounds of shame at bay through comparison and value.
4 is looking at themselves in the mirror, and that is absolutely fascinating enough as it is. If they allow you into the picture with them, it’s because you’re changing the way the light hits them in a way that deepens their understanding of themselves or whatever they’re fixated on (which is also a reflection of themselves). Or you’re adding to the tragic, symbol-laden narrative they’re writing about themselves on the mirror. And if you take up too much space in the mirror, try and block their view of themselves and their writings, try and impose your agenda or influence on this experience, or bring in some kind of element that is repulsive to the 4, they will unceremoniously push you away from the mirror, and seal up whatever sewer pipe you crawled out of, you hideous reptile. It’s ok though, because now you’ve become fuel for a self-indulgent song or romantically grotesque painting. *wilted rose emoji*
This is reductive, but it’s necessary to understand what the type is doing by default:
For 2’s it’s all about your needs (to meet their needs).
For 3’s it’s all about their needs being met by temporarily adjusting themselves to your needs (and once their needs are met or they realize it’s a waste of time and energy, they will discontinue adapting).
For 4’s it’s all about their needs to meet their needs. They may get into codependent dynamics that support their effete lifestyle or creative opulence, but others are merely a life support system for them to actualize their artistic significance.
Can a 2 be openly selfish and stingy? Yes. Can a 3 authentically care about another person without an agenda? Yes. Can a 4 be kind and generous? Yes.
It’s just not the default program, nor where their sense of self feels “safe.”
Every single Enneagram type is a user and abuser. And they’re doing it in service of the horrifying cosmic epoxy that is holding our Ego in place (which we need to survive). Think of these tactics as survival mechanisms. Even ones that you interpret as malicious, are being largely unconsciously enacted by the person with the sole purpose of survival and their continued existence.
Because our Personality Type is the lie our Ego tells us to stay alive.
BEING THE “STAR” OF THE FILM & PUSHING OTHERS OUT OF FRAME 🎥🤩
When I started paying attention to how image types made me feel a few years ago, I noticed the unmistakable sensation of someone attempting to push me out of the frame of my own life’s film. Elbowing me out of the way (THE NERVE!) of MY personally created psychedelic New Beverly’s Worst Hits marathon, and insert themselves in it. Even if I didn’t invite them to the show.
“Look at me!” the desperate, wannabe screen stars scream as they try and edit over top of your film with theirs (2’s by intruding and “helping”, 3’s by outdoing and competing, and 4’s by being “difficult”). They desire to be the main character in all situations. You’re merely a bit player in their movie, an extension of themselves, or an object of frustration, affection or rivalry.
A 2 pushes you out of the frame to be your needed, adored figure (or to talk about how they’re the lead in someone else’s film who needs them), and draw attention to how loving and needed they are. While this means 2’s can be the one who will nurse you back to health, make sure you’re well-fed and cared for it can also manifest in them essentially “owning” you and having a level of control over your life. Whether it’s because you actually do need them (ie: financially, or they’re a go-between for something you desire) or because they find a way to constantly meddle and intrude - they’re indispensable. They become the star through “self-sacrifice”, martyrdom, manipulation and even hoe behavior if they have SX (like pampering someone else’s husband or being overtly sexual and gooey). You will know the 2 has invaded your frame when you feel a dozen wet tentacles wrap themselves around your independence, privacy, relationships and agency.
A 3 often enters your film by impressing you with something (which can involve bringing someone else’s ‘movie’ with them to indirectly highlight how valuable they are, whether it’s because the relationship makes them look good or they look good by comparison) or telling you something you want to hear. And if they find your movie more desirable than their current one, and it seems doable to them, once they’ve gained your trust and are squarely positioned in your film, they’ll begin the process of trying to straight up push you out of your own movie and replace you as the leading lady. And if you won’t allow them to edit themselves into your film and become the star, they’ll splice elements of your movie (the aesthetic, film score, dialogue, costumes and other characters) into their movie. And maybe even key your screen or try and steal your audience on the way out.
A 4 is in their own film. They aren’t trying to push you out of frame to accomplish anything other than keeping you out of theirs. They didn’t enter your film, you entered theirs. You taint it. Poison it. Make it ugly. They’re largely uninterested in whatever is playing in the other theater’s rooms (unless it speaks to them in a meaningful way). Perhaps you’re playing a catastrophically loud action film next door and their attention is unavoidably drawn to it. If they have to pause their film, they’ll be seeking to push your vulgar trash out of their screening room so they can resume filming. (This metaphor is getting messy, I know.) And they do this with brooding expressions of disgust, refusing to “participate,” dramatic or slyly cutting insults, or intentionally getting under your skin to invoke a negative reaction so they can see behind whatever false persona they think you’re presenting - real or imagined. They’re hoping by doing this it cuts the power to your projection room so you just go away, or as grounds to get a restraining order so you can never invade their sacred screening room again. And, if the 4 does invite you into their screening room to bear witness to their film, or even come in as a guest star or romantic interest, it comes with conditions and is revocable at any time. It will be on their terms, not yours.
So envy, just like jealousy, is just an average human emotion that anyone could feel throughout their life and that doesn’t necessarily indicate type. I know quite a few envious hater 6’s and low-key envious 9’s. The most classically envious type (in my opinion) is 3. However, I believe Envy goes hand in hand with Shame, therefore Image Types are all “Envy” types (despite it only being associated with Type 4).
The definition, according to dictionary.com: “To envy is to feel resentful and unhappy because someone else possesses, or has achieved, what one wishes oneself to possess, or to have achieved.”
All Image Types are Envy types because they’re all about their self-image, and if information to the contrary comes in that someone is like or more of that self-concept than themselves it might trigger the fuck out of them. If they see that person as threatening to their self-concept then envy can arise. Because Image Types want to avoid the shame of not being how they desire to see themselves at all costs, envy can be highly activating to them.
If you’ve ever been in a room with a pair of 2’s, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a nurturing and self-sacrificing competition. Who is the most caring and generous? It’s totally hilarious and revolting. The muffins flying, the offers of this favour and that favour, while also smiling and flattering each other. 2’s won’t identify with the emotion of “envy” (as a Superego Type), so they’ll seek to erase it through care and flattery because it goes strongly against their self-concept.
3’s envy and covet what you have, what you are, who you know, how you look, who you’re with, your success, etc, when it triggers their self-concept. What they envy are the things they think have “worth” or “value” where the Ego lives. If you have that in an area they do (or perceive as lack in themselves), then they will envy that. 3’s envy is in the conventional sense of the word. Higher health 3’s are more playful and light about this competitive aspect of themselves, but lower health 3’s can become quite calculated, sinister and underhanded when their “envy” is awoken. 3’s seek to do something about their envy as Assertive types. I think of low health 3’s as the Single White Female type, because once they get into envy mode they’re not just content to outdo you, they also want to replace and annihilate you.
4 envy is kind of pitiable, on some level. They envy people being able to just function and have some kind of normal life that feels unreachable to them because they’re simply so despairing and separate. Of course, they don’t actually want a regular life or to be functional like a regular person. As Withdrawn Types, they’re not going to do anything about this envy (except maybe just trashing the other person), because to do something about it would go against their self-concept. Their envy is like “Look at those mindless, plastic phonies going to their meaningless jobs.” They could easily do that too, but they don’t want to. Type 4’s envy is tainted by dysfunction, repulsion and hate.
A 3 will seek to destroy their rival or best them, but a 4 will look at that person as a way to make excuses for why they can never truly exist in congruency with this world (which feeds their self-image) or further unconscious fuel for separation. “If only I had a director dad, then I’d get my movie made… Of course they have an album, they’re a sell-out pod person… Oh, if only I was a cum-guzzling fraud, then I too could get an art show.” The irony is - like I already said - they don’t even really want whatever it is they’re enviously whining about, because if they got it they’d find a way to ruin it themselves.
3’s want success and will seek to maintain it. 4’s may entertain delusions of grandeur - being able to support themselves with their creations is ok (for a while), but “success” isn’t on the table. It may give them a temporary high before it quickly leaves them feeling disgusting. They’ll set fire to their entire life to just purge it from their psyche. It’s only by the grace of The Simulation that a bunch of notorious famous 4’s have maintained careers for as long as they have, despite being insufferable. And so, this envy is just a projection of self-hatred about their own self-indulgent uselessness more than anything else. Bitching and moaning is a recreational pleasure.
THE HEART CENTER COMES WITH STRINGS ATTACHED 🎻
2 is emotionally expanding outwards (service, care, you). 2 is emotionally self-indulgent outwards (masturbatorily overdoing their connections to others with intrusion, meddling, “helping”).
4 is emotionally expanding inwards (creation, reflection, me). 4 is emotionally self-indulgent inwards (masturbatorily overdoing their connection to self and their creations).
3 is emotionally triangulating between themselves and others. 3 is emotionally self-indulgent with others' gaze directed at them (masturbatorily getting hits of validation from others to feed the self).
TYPE 2: STICKY, SWEET STRINGS THAT LURE YOU IN BUT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WASH OFF
2’s heart strings are active tentacles. 2’s identity is pulled inside. Their self-worth is other-generated and it travels past the outer barrier. Tentacles that reach outward to feed and nourish itself.
Their focus is radiating out, pulling you inside of them, like Hansel & Gretel into the witch’s candy house, or a Kraken pulling you into its caring mouth. They want to fatten you up with love so you can’t leave. The more you depend on them, the more impossible it becomes to escape (sucks to be a 9 or 4 fixer). And when it’s time to collect, you’re going into the Ego’s oven to be baked to perfection and devoured. Your success will be because of them. Your new family home will be the one they move into or invite themselves to all the time.
2’s imprint on you, they leave their stink on you, they meddle and insert themselves. They are a drug you need (and probably didn’t ask for) in order to survive. Like a drug dealer: “The first one is free.” The 2 also has an agenda, and with that agenda comes entitlement. How this entitlement fucks them over is that it literally drives people away, running, screaming, erecting hostile boundaries full of booby traps to keep the milky teets and caring, prying fingers from being thrust into their faces and orifices.
2's put focus on you, so they don’t have to experience shame. By turning you into an appendage, or tasty baked morsel, your offering to the Shame Kraken keeps the fantasy of their kindness alive and keeps the roiling embarrassments at bay.
TYPE 3: THE HEART’S STRINGS ARE A GLISTENING RAZORSHARP TRAP
3’s heart strings create an invisible, glittering fishnet (that can become razor sharp with the flick of a wrist) and moves outwards and inwards. Their unconscious intention is to harvest trophies. While they're telling you what your own desperate little heart wants to hear, they're pulling everything they deem valuable of yours into their own image to enhance their self-worth. This might be your ideas, partner, friends, connections, energy/time/efforts, talents, knowledge or attention.
As long as you allow this transaction to occur seamlessly, continue to feed the image beast with praise or whatever their Assertive heart desires, while never doing anything to make their position or self-image feel threatened, you’re safe. But this false image they created just for you is also a trap. The moment you renege on this dynamic, it's like that scene in CUBE where the net comes down and slices you into tiny pieces. The fishing net you didn’t notice closing around you, that was shoplifting all of your treasures, pulls taut and cuts through every muscle and bone. And you’re severed in pieces on the ocean floor, wondering what the fuck just happened. Left watching as the 3 floats away with bags of your shiniest “trophies” to applause from the other people they have tangled in their image net of horrors.
As controllers of this net and the flowing waters around it, 3’s control the gaze towards their positive attributes, valuable assets, skills and accomplishments. They became what is desirable, and therefore they feel entitled to acknowledgement, appreciation and rewards - even if those “rewards” are your personal effects. They turned their heart into a 24/7 marketing team and they require compensation for the hard work. They might tell themselves they’re just competing with themselves, but they also want admiration and validation. Without it they wither.
This is how 3’s lose themselves to the entitlement of their Attachment Heart. That quest for ultimate validation turns them into someone who is not even them, tangled up in their own razor-sharp fishing net full of trophies that are now sinking them, weighing them down. A phantom of a xerox of a replica spinning around in a pile of silt. And all of the praise, awards, and riches mean nothing.
TYPE 4: THE HEART’S STRINGS ARE RUSTY STEEL THAT CUT YOUR FINGERS WHEN YOU TRY AND PLAY A SONG ON THEM
4’s heart strings are pointed inwards, the entrance is hidden, and the strings are taut and rusty like an old guitar’s. They’re soldered directly into the 4’s ribcage with viscera of past heartbreaks and slights interwoven. Their focus is on their own heart and find it difficult to put endless focus on others regardless of what they get in return - because nothing is more rewarding to a 4 than themselves and their private cave of reflective surfaces and tortured ghosts.
A 4 may have a lover they’re consumed with, but it’s feeding their fantasies with a narrative of some kind of otherworldly romance, that only serves to intensify their active, self-focused melodrama. And this can create tangles in the strings the more another person is involved. If you receive an invitation to the outer cavity of the rose-shaped dungeon ribcage, you’ll never be truly comfortable or alone with your beloved. The rusty steel strings will be cutting into your skin. You’ll be walking around on eggshells and waking up alone in bed to late-night howls in the corridors. And when you investigate what‘s going on at such an ungodly hour, you’ll find your 4 naked and sweaty with a muse (an apparition from the past or future, a freakish fascination, or another person who they “need” for creative fuel). And they’ll throw a jar of paint water at your head for interrupting the love-making process.
The deeper Type 4 goes into themselves (which is a life-long project), the more burrowed into their own prison they become until it collapses on them like a tomb. There is no exit. Visitors are invaders. 4’s heart is not just deep in the ribcage of self, it’s inside a vault with levels of passwords and symbols and booby traps. And if you try and put your hand in, the acid will get you. Do not confuse this with The Mask of 3 or 9. The 4 isn’t losing themselves to the hustle or connection, they’re not adapting to your face and secretly hiding another personality. They’ve simply crawled so deep inside their own ass that all they can smell is shit. You’ll smell it, too.
Unlike a 3 or a 9, 4’s are not really taking you into themselves. You may have an extended visitor pass, but it is just that - a visitor’s pass. And it’s entirely conditional upon your behavior enabling their MORE PRECIOUS THAN LYFE persona and self-centered activities. This isn’t to be confused with a 3 wanting to feel like the Star or VIP MVP Blah Blah Blah. If you take a broke and unknown 4, their life will probably be quite small and creating some kind of tortured artist existence in a leaky basement in some vacuous city they love to criticize, they drink to excess and eat their paint when they’re depressed, and make their girlfriend (or parents) pay for everything so they can finish some shitty life-altering, deep painting that once they’ve finished it they fucking hate - and they hate you too, dear loved one and supporter - to infinity and beyond. If you take a famous 4, their life may also be insular but they’re likely able to indulge many of the grand fantasies they have of their specialness, and will be able to bank roll ridiculous shit (like Prince and Paisley Park).
A 4 keeps their strings tight so they can snatch their heart back at any moment. No one truly holds it but the 4. Not to be confused with a 3’s “heartlessness.” 4’s simply can’t allow their heart to stray too far from their own rib cage for too long, before it starts to hiss and ash like a vampire in the sun. And they return to their faithful muse who never abandons them - themselves.
IMAGE CRAFTING - WHO IS ACTUALLY DOING IT? 👁️👄👁️ IS IT FAKE NEWS?
While “Image Types” essentially put forth an “image,” the concept of “image crafting” is (in my opinion) primarily the realm of 3. I’m not sure who came up with this concept, but it seems ancient and deeply embedded in Enneagram discussions spanning many groups. Perhaps this is semantics, but I think this aspect of “image” causes confusion for people who are actually a 3, 6 or 9.
2’s and 4’s don’t curate or “craft” how you see them, they are just aggressively doing their type. And you may misinterpret this “image,” but they’re not going to adjust their image to get the desired effect. They are just going to double-down on what they’re already doing, like a wind-up toy with feet that can only point in one direction. 3’s will adjust to get the desired effect (which is having their value appreciated and worth validated) which involves crafting, curating, adjusting, recreating, reassembling.
Masking, shifting, curating and crafting is the realm of Attachment/Adaptation (3, 6, 9).
All Attachment Types - because they are Adapting - are “crafting” an “image” to a degree. The projected Self is influenced by its surroundings and somewhat (if not wholly) malleable. Even 6’s, who are reactive types and therefore all about “realness” and authenticity do this, too. Because 6’s are adapting in the head center and wanting to find common ground with their chosen group, be liked, accepted or counterphobically backed up by a posse or outlier group - which necessitates a level of self-abandonment.
3’s are the ones actually “crafting an image” that they are “selling” you. They will fake it ‘til they make it (and this is something that has to be constantly maintained, updated, tweaked, renovated, split-tested and checked for outdated, out-of-fashion or undesirable aspects). 3’s craft their image to get their desired outcome, therefore their image is fluid and malleable (so long as it’s flattering to their Ego).
2’s and 4’s do their own type to their own detriment. There isn’t crafting involved. Just the same unsightly flea market atrocity, year after year.
2’s embody the nurturer archetype and they cannot veer from their programming, even if it would be to their benefit. A 2w3 may be a social climber (like a 3w2) but they’ll be doing it by ingratiating themselves and making themselves necessary to someone they deem important. A 3w2 can paint themselves as “necessary” to get their foot in the door, but it’s a crafted image to get a desired effect and they will craft a new charming one, moment-to-moment where necessary to get what they want. Because ultimately the 3 wants to be the shiniest and most valuable (not the one doling out cupcakes and kisses).
4’s are their image. They are the (self-inflicted) suffering artist, the embodiment of creativity and depth (in their mind) and even when they’re “with” you, it’s still all about deepening their own experience of self. Not about convincing you they are a certain way or upholding some kind of “image.” The concept of image is actually fucking disgusting to 4’s, because it implies there is something false about them. They may “correct” you if you paint them with the brush of a vapid commoner, but they’re unlikely to elaborate either because you’re not worth the pearls, swine. They may bring their ratty sketchbook with them everywhere they go, but it's in service of them reinforcing their self-image to themselves. You don’t need to witness it (unless they want you to).
Follow if reading these unflattering depictions of the types interests you.
