#CHILDFREE

27/ F Childfree and antinatalist. I prefer animals. I'm very cranky.

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

Having children is not a "miracle"

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[steponmepinkjun]

Can we normalize not liking or enjoying kids? To be clear, I'm not talking about being mean to kids, or guilting people who have kids, or making disliking children your whole personality. I'm talking about being someone who just genuinely does not enjoy children and wishes not to interact with them or be around them if they can help it.

I don't like kids. I don't enjoy spending time with them. I don't think kids are shitty or stupid or annoying, I just get no enjoyment from being around them. The process of conversations with them, watching them figure things out, and having to monitor them does not spark joy for me. Similarly, I don't really care for conversations about kids with people who have them—I would appreciate if people who are parents would respect that, the same way that I respect how they may not be interested or at all enthused by me talking about my hobbies or interests. It doesn't make me a monster to not be excited to listen to you talk about your toddler for an hour. It doesn't make me a monster to not at all enjoy being left to try to conduct some sort of conversation with a kid. It doesn't make me a monster to really enjoy a child-free life, and to not want to have to be subjected to people's children the same way I don't forcibly subject them to my cats if they don't like cats. And to be quite frank, kids don't fuckin like me either! We both find the other to be thoroughly uninteresting, and that's fine. For some people kids are a fascinating journey of raising a human being, for others they're just... not that cool or compelling. There's nothing monstrous about that.

To be clear, I usually just avoid friendships with people who are new parents for this reason—you deserve to gush endlessly about your baby! But to someone who's open to hearing it.

[lookatthememes]

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

I know nobody wants to admit this but not all children are "blessings"

[derdepp]

VHEMT

People: The glory of creation

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

So I saw this as a comment on an instagram meme about some guy begging his bro to have kids. Starting a family is absolutely not a fringe idea. It may be less common nowadays than it was because people are more concerned with barely staying afloat financially. But let's get real, it'll be a "fringe idea" when the nuclear family isn't always a constant societal overtone. Hints from family, ideal families in movies, magazines, mommy blogs, friends' Facebook posts, etc. are all VERY alive and well, unfortunately.

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

With everything going on right now, I don't know how anyone would want to bring a child into the world. Humans will always be in conflict. This is the way it has been since the existence of man, and why anyone would want to contribute to it is truly beyond me. I'm worried for my own future, and wouldn't even want to think about the future of people living beyond me with the way things are going. If suffering is inherent to existing, then why perpetuate existence?

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

Lots of people from high school are getting pregnant on purpose now and of course, my brain doesn't register it as a good thing, both as a childfree individual and someone who is still young.

It still doesn't occur to me not to go "oh shit, what are you gonna do?" Instead of congratulating them because it just seems like people are too young to be ruining their lives like this. I couldn't imagine having a kid at this stage in life, let alone any stage in life.

[antinatalist-compassion]

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

Where is the lie tho?

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

We can see clearly from all this that less human activity is healing the earth. Now, that's not to say that we shouldn't have a steady population, but I think that we need to stop overpopulation, and start living sustainably. A big part of this is how products are made and how the corporations only care to supply the demand while not thinking (or caring) about the extreme harm to the environment. So in a way, yes, I can very much agree that "wE aRE tHe ViRus." Our everyday practices are the virus, and by proxy, we are the virus. I get that people are joking about it, and sometimes I do laugh, but I think we need to take the big picture seriously.

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

I was on a walk with my pup today. Since it's a nice spring day and everyone is home due to quarantine, lots of people have the windows open. I heard an ear-shattering shriek from some kid out the window who didn't get her way, and an exasperated "DON'T YOU SPIT ON ME!" from her mother. Needless to say I looked down at my pup and thanked him for being a dog.

Y'all can I just say that I'm so happy to be childfree during all this???? I'm so relieved that I don't have to live that way EVER.

[sunriseofflutes-deactivated2021]

Not to be aggressively childfree uwu on here but I have seen an influx of posts of people thinking trying for a baby is a good idea???? And even witnessed a Reddit post of someone planning on lying to a doctor about having IUD complications to get it removed ????? So they can have a baby ??????

Some people really are just too stupid to be reproducing . Not thinking about the consequences that it may have on health care professionals, themselves , their household and their future kid.

Like... You're not making good choices , you should not be actively trying to get pregnant during a pandemic. I don't care if this is what you've been " dreaming" of. Everyone has had to put aside things they really want to do because of this pandemic, you're not special . Get in line with the rest of the world's human population.

And if you think having a baby is going to strengthen your relationships or give you a new friend .... Good luck with that 👍 there are ways to try to cope with loneliness , and having a baby ain't it yall

[gorhamgrad-deactivated20240630]

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

Lmao i hope all these parents be having fun in quarantine with their little "blessings" 😂

[snailmail-and-stuff-deactivated]

[totalfuckingbitch-deactivated20]

Don’t have kids if you’re traumatized and it’s going to get in the way of raising a kid safely and healthily and not in a way that’s also gonna traumatize them in a different way. And don’t have kids if you think it’s going to “heal yourself through the purest form of love” children and their childhoods aren’t your guinea pigs to experiment with for your own healing

[dahliacarla-2150-deactivated202]

Wait. Um. Excuse you? 🤨

[jchxjvgzhxhcifgckcgsiho]

I think op was pretty clear? Don’t have kids if you’re not in a place mentally where u can give them a healthy childhood. Traumatizing ur kids won’t fix your own trauma, all it’ll do is create more traumatized people. Children are people and u can’t just use them as some sort of fun project to get over your own issues

[spoonful-of-puns]

when a woman says she doesn't want kids, the appropriate response is NOT "accidents happen".

the appropriate response is to respect her decision to not engage in a lifelong and emotionally/mentally/physically/financially draining commitment.

I'm disgusted with the way people react to women who don't want children. saying "accidents happen" is disrespectful to the woman and her autonomy, and to the child who would be born unwanted.

[goddamn-peace-and-quiet]

This is when you reply "and so do abortions" and walk away.