#child free

[larkspur777]

Does anyone share my vision for childfree Nancy Wheeler

(She'd be the cool aunt to Steve's kids and the older sister Max never had)

[shrimp-lord-of-hell]

"Never say never. My sister said never and then ended up with four kids."

I'm saying never. Was your sister intensely sex-repulsed? Because I am. Does she feel romantic attraction? Because I don't. One person's experiences are not anothers', stop acting like they're the same.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting a partner, a spouse, or kids. Stop acting like everyone needs those things to live a fulfilled life. It's just not true of every person.

[majaurukalo]

If a woman says she doesn’t want kids, please, please, do not ask her why. She doesn’t need to have reasons and, especially, she doesn’t owe them to anyone.

[phantom-of-the-memes]

A lot of people need to get more comfortable with the idea that aromantic/ aroace (and even some allosexual people) never want to be in a partnership.

Of course there are the people you don’t know what asexuality is, or do but are bigoted. Having to explain yourself to them is frustrating. But I’m also talking about supposed allies who are less confused, but are equally uncomfortable with your lifestyle.

The conversation goes something like this:

Person: “do you have a partner?”.

Me: “I’m asexual”.

Person: “well you can still date without the sex”.

Me: “I’m also aromantic”.

Person: “oh… well you can still have a queer platonic partner”.

Me: “plenty of aroaces do have/ want a qpp, but I don’t. I don’t want any form of partner”.

Person: “well… you can still have children”.

Me: “nope. I never want kids. Lots of asexual people have kids, but it’s not for me”.

Person: “that sounds so lonely! Everyone needs a partner of some kind. How will you feel fulfilled in life if you don’t have a partner or children? That’s sad, I could never live like that”.

The issue is that people conflate their lives experiences with yours. It makes you uncomfortable to imagine living your life without a partner, but I’m not you.

Also, I think allosexual people really need to examine their belief that life is only worth living when you’re in a relationship. It is a fact that you will be single at various times in your life. You need to get more comfortable with being single. Otherwise you’ll be miserable for a large period of your life.

Anyways, my point in making this post isn’t just that I don’t want people commenting on, and judging my lifestyle. I do want that, but that’s the bare minimum. I want people to be happy for me! In the same way you would be if someone described their future plans that include a partner and/or children.

My life is just as fulfilling and worth living as those with partners. I don’t have to force myself to have a queer platonic partner just because having a partner is “what you should do”.

I have a lot of plans for my future that are just as worthy as getting married and having kids. Celebrate them with me!

[pisceanpharies]

[wumbletumblebumble]

I would like to see more child-free-by-choice and ace/aro solidarity. Like if you just substitute "romantic relationship" or "sex" with "kids" the conversations are pretty much the same. In all cases, people assume you should want x, are only having a phase or pretending to not want x, your life will never be complete until you have x, and that something is wrong with you if you genuinely aren't interested in x. Also, we get all the same annoying family dinner comments.

"So when can we expect grandkids/In-laws?"

"You say you don't want it now, but trust me that'll change."

"Who's going to take care of you when you're older?"

[daisiesonafield-blog]

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