can't stop thinking about bigfrin.
you spend so so much time shrinking yourself down making sure you aren't anyone else's problem. you can deal with it yourself, you need to be strong!! you make yourself look smaller and smaller but you can feel yourself straining against the bounds of your self imposed cage. but you will not let yourself escape. you can't. you've already sunk far too much time and effort into it.
but something's gotta give! so you start lashing out. it's the only way to let off steam without being truly vulnerable. and if you drive everyone away, you won't have to worry about it anymore anyway. but oh no! everyone's mad at you now. that on its own might be okay, but it's even worse than that, they're WORRIED. this is exactly what you wanted to avoid!! what do you do???
you snap!!! nobody saw how much you were struggling (because you were doing everything in your power to hide it) but they NEED TO SEE IT. if they want to be worried so badly, you can give them something to worry about! you won't be ignored or left alone now because it's physically impossible to do so. world-ending power is at your fingertips and you use it for what? to be seen and be heard. to be loved!! that's it!!!
