JUST A CLOWN AT OPEN MIC NIGHT

Alexios | 20-something | she/they enby | pan/ace | exhausted grad student RATS ARE LIKE IF DOGS WERE BUGS!! 🦀Contemplating the immortality of crabs🦀

[presidentdragon]

LISTEN. all I want is a Big Strong Girlfriend and a Fancy Foppish Boyfriend is that SO MUCH to fucking ask. and they're both taller than me.

[presidentdragon]

I want to tenderly bandage my boyfriend's finger as he tearfully recounts how he got a paper cut while our girlfriend drags home the deer she caught with her bare hands to lovingly feed us through the cold, cold winter. What's so fucking hard to understand.

[presidentdragon]

You may be wondering what I contribute to this hypothetical polyamorous thruple, and the answer is quite simple. I'm the one with a job.

[paperandpencilsandskips]

This is fucking killing me. Like what

[threebodybot]

m1=43.7 m2=88.8 m3=73.6 (solar masses) v1x=-3.448 v1y=-3.796 v2x=-2.597 v2y=-1.368 v3x=-3.396 v3y=-0.349 (km/s) x1=0.0 y1=-24.0 x2=19.0 y2=20.0 x3=-35.0 y3=-27.0 (AU from center) Music: Prelude in G Minor – Rachmaninoff

[hardwrench]

The Poisoned Ant = tavern for villains and rogues

Poisoned Ant = 90s rock band

Poisoned the Ant = 2010s rock band that sucks

Ant, Poisoned = dark and contemplative novel that just came out

ANTPOISONED = steam game

[ryebreadgf]

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

[ryebreadgf]

everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.

[what-even-is-thiss]

So Boston is straight up running out of beer because of all the Scottish tourists in for the World Cup

[what-even-is-thiss]

I love cultural exchange

[what-even-is-thiss]

Many people in the tags inviting the Scots over to Wisconsin.

[irrationalplanets]

[raccoonmilf]

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

[raccoonmilf]

For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called “Princess Time” where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and I’d quickly clean that stuff up.

So like, if I’m expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed “trash” by the trash panda and thrown away.

[raccoonmilf]

We haven’t done since we moved into the house, because I didn’t want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon

[raccoonmilf]

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.

[raccoonmilf]

Those vibes are likely because I’m the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao

[fipindustries]

[dogpuppy]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[deanwinchesterapologist]

>settings

>onions

>my onions

>caramelize my onions

[milanesa42]

[setulose]

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

[setulose]

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

[setulose]

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

[stuckinapril]

I’ve had tumblr for 4 years but some of you bitches have had it for a decade. It’s time to seek penance

[stuckinapril]

wait I’m curious now . Reblog this with how long u’ve been on tumblr for. Dating back to ur oldest blog ever !!!

[madam-melon-meow]

When did u join tumblr (part 1 of 2)

2026

2025

2024

2023

2022

2021

2020

2019

2018

2017

2016

[earlier, see second poll]

Remaining time: 1 day 9 hours

[madam-melon-meow]

When did u join tumblr (part 2 of 2)

[later, see first poll]

2015

2014

2013

2012

2011

2010

2009

2008

2007

Remaining time: 1 day 9 hours

[lowpawly]

the authors open fetish that complements the themes of their work

[apathy-tied-in-knots]

important plot device thats also just authors fetish. call that a jackoffs gun

[hrefnatheravenqueen]

Barker then turned his attention to his fellow author J.K. Rowling, who has had her fair share of controversy over the last few years over her opinions on the transgender community. “There’s a lot of pain amongst the transgender people that I know,” Barker stated. “They have a lot of issues in the world as it is, without a famous author opining on the subject. It just seems redundant. It just seems unkind.”

Noting Rowling’s vast financial success, Barker felt that Rowling’s newfound position of fame ought to exclude her from discussing trans rights. He added, “It really just seems redundant for a woman as successful, as validated in the world, as Ms Rowling, to be negative, to be disruptive if you will, to a very beaten up subculture. These are human beings. She has no right to opine, I think, upon the lives of human beings that she does not know.”

“I feel very protective of people who are on the edge of our culture as gay people still are,” Barker continued. “And certainly transgender people are on the edge of our culture. And here you have one of the most successful people in the frigging world – Ms Rowling. Going after a very emotionally vulnerable portion of our culture. It just seems unnecessary and unfair.”

‘Hellraiser’ writer Clive Barker on the publishing industry’s homophobia and J.K. Rowling

Prejudice.

[crabussy]

got told I didn't deserve to be gay because I thought lady gaga wrote money money money by abba. sorry men I am no longer attracted to you as of today. sorry abba sorry gaga sorry women sorry world

[crabussy]

bee boo ba ba.....

[crabussy]

this is becoming a really beautiful post

[whereintheworldisauniqueusername]

Every Guilty Gear Strive character asks themselves WWGD (What Would Goku Do) before they pull off a combo

[mr-deep-downer]

Load bearing goku

[fightinggameheritageposts]

fighting game heritage post

[yellbug]

currently reading modelland which is tyra banks' YA novel from 2011. this book is so strikingly weird in its visuals. it feels like shaun tan's the arrival and the uglies series had a baby and the baby was bad but there was something fascinating about the baby that made you want to read it. it is also very hard to follow because it feels like it was dictated. i do think tyra actually wrote it instead of having some ghostwriter editor do it because no one else would write like this and it's genuinely magnetic. i keep doing other things and then going god i can't wait to go back to reading modelland.

what the fuck is going on with the smizes. they're like... spontaneously generated orbs that are released into the dystopia's water so it like incentivizes everyone to waste water and swim in sewage for the chance to have one because it bestows a magic power that means you can become a famous fashion model. and then when you find a smize it like expands like a ponyo spell in your hands and turns into glasses that make you beautiful??

another wrinkle is that the world of modelland has nations. one of them is france, but the first guy from that nation who we meet is a homunculus with a giant human hand for a head. he's the only one like that so far so i don't know. another nation has ONLY people with albinism, which is really confusing because they explicitly point out that their whole nation-state has a ton of life-threatening health complications because of it

unfortunately i have a lot further to go before i know all the secrets of modelland

No, we never know when ManAttack will happen.