Loki, God of Stories

(RP blog/character-themed shitposting.) Space-time hobo, former Sorcerer Supreme of Earth. (PG-13, not a minor, DMs and asks from @lulu-rps.)

[godofstoriessuggestion]

it's that time of year. you know what you have to do.

(I promise, the worse it looks, the funnier it is when they fall for it.)

[darryl-jacobson]

Confiscates Loki's firework's before midnight

[jotunlokisuggestion]

Oh, so when YOU take something you want it's called "confiscating".

[darryl-jacobson]

When it endangers people, yes

[jotunlokisuggestion]

You might not know this. But these explosives are how humans give the planet the boost to keep spinning for the next 365 days of an earth year. Without my contribution, it will probably get stuck as early as September. ChatGPT confirmed it.

[godofstoriessuggestion]

sometimes I think that Darryl stealing Blue Loki's implements of chaos so that they have to steal them back before using them is like how they put food behind a puzzle for octopuses in aquariums

[jotunlokisuggestion]

I'm not feeling very en-riched, I'm feeling en-poored. of fireworks! That I personally confiscated!

[godofstoriessuggestion]

you should un-confiscate them! *gets a bag of popcorn*

[therealityhelix]

"I feel movement I have not felt in some time."

[godofstoriessuggestion]

are you doing anything fun on New Years, Lady Helix?

[darryl-jacobson]

Confiscates Loki's firework's before midnight

[jotunlokisuggestion]

Oh, so when YOU take something you want it's called "confiscating".

[darryl-jacobson]

When it endangers people, yes

[jotunlokisuggestion]

You might not know this. But these explosives are how humans give the planet the boost to keep spinning for the next 365 days of an earth year. Without my contribution, it will probably get stuck as early as September. ChatGPT confirmed it.

[godofstoriessuggestion]

sometimes I think that Darryl stealing Blue Loki's implements of chaos so that they have to steal them back before using them is like how they put food behind a puzzle for octopuses in aquariums

[darryl-jacobson]

I haven't said anything about the fact Val forgot to have more kids

[godofstoriessuggestion]

@valkyriesuggests you know what would be funny

[valkyriesuggests]

I mean 👀👀👀 I DO want more kids

[godofstoriessuggestion]

👀

[valkyriesuggests]

I think you should take me back to our room.

[godofstoriessuggestion]

yeah, yeah. gotta get a good night's sleep for. reasons.

[godofstoriessuggestion]

let's get into so much trouble this year

[darryl-jacobson]

Like always, I will try and keep this household together in the New Year. And have no one be arrested by the federal government

[icarusbrucevalsson]

Bold of you to assume I'd get caught

[darryl-jacobson]

ICARUS

[icarusbrucevalsson]

I'm just saying! I can be subtle!

[godofstoriessuggestion]

he says this stuff like he thinks you don't have half a dozen magic criminals on speed dial.

[darryl-jacobson]

*rolls eyes*

[godofstoriessuggestion]

you also have my number in case you wanna do some crime, you know. ;)

[darryl-jacobson]

.... are you flirting with me

[godofstoriessuggestion]

that could be fun in the new year.

I bet I could figure something out that you'd like. what kind of postions do you think you'd enjoy? in a heist? you look like a guy who can do computer stuff.

[darryl-jacobson]

I haven't said anything about the fact Val forgot to have more kids

[godofstoriessuggestion]

@valkyriesuggests you know what would be funny

[valkyriesuggests]

I mean 👀👀👀 I DO want more kids

[godofstoriessuggestion]

👀

[darryl-jacobson]

I haven't said anything about the fact Val forgot to have more kids

[godofstoriessuggestion]

@valkyriesuggests you know what would be funny

[darryl-jacobson]

Like always, I will try and keep this household together in the New Year. And have no one be arrested by the federal government

[icarusbrucevalsson]

Bold of you to assume I'd get caught

[darryl-jacobson]

ICARUS

[icarusbrucevalsson]

I'm just saying! I can be subtle!

[godofstoriessuggestion]

he says this stuff like he thinks you don't have half a dozen magic criminals on speed dial.

[darryl-jacobson]

*rolls eyes*

[godofstoriessuggestion]

you also have my number in case you wanna do some crime, you know. ;)

[darryl-jacobson]

Like always, I will try and keep this household together in the New Year. And have no one be arrested by the federal government

[icarusbrucevalsson]

Bold of you to assume I'd get caught

[darryl-jacobson]

ICARUS

[icarusbrucevalsson]

I'm just saying! I can be subtle!

[godofstoriessuggestion]

he says this stuff like he thinks you don't have half a dozen magic criminals on speed dial.

[godofstoriessuggestion]

Hey, I hear there’s a universe out there where dinosaurs are the earth’s dominant specie and your brother, Thor, is a Parasaurolophus. Have you ever been there? What kind of dino was your multiversal counterpart?

A parasaurolophus! Ahahaha! That’s a pretty pathetic dinosaur for a hero! It’s so… friend-shaped.

I would have made him like an allosaurus, maybe… but I guess a big scary guy with lots of teeth isn’t very heroic.

…Parasaurolophus might be one of my favorite dinosaurs, actually.

…

Anyway, I’d love to say I’d be something cool like a raptor or a dimorphodon, but let’s face it, I’m for sure one of those little egg-stealing bastards.

Or a dilophosaurus. But not like a real one, like the cool Jurassic Park one that spits venom and dispenses karmic justice.

[godofstoriessuggestion]

Now that you’ve gone from villain to anti-hero/trickster, who would you nominate to become Thor’s new archenemy? I'd've suggested Dario Agger, but I hear he’s not doing so good at the moment.

oh man, the minotaur was lookin' real nasty last time I saw him. all skin and bones -- emphasis on the bones.

Amora's got a lot of fun little boyfriends that Thor can hit with his hammer -- he loves that part :) -- and she's good at a dramatic twist -- he hates that part :D -- so she's a good candidate. and, ya know. I love to see her and I love to watch her lose.

...I'd be a liar if I didn't say Thor had other brothers (and "brothers") that would make fine nemeses for him, but I'm wary of giving the narrative ideas for things that I might end up getting blamed for in the end. oh wait! I am a liar! forget I said anything. :)

[askbalderthings]

*disgusted* Camping

[therealityhelix]

*Thrilled* Camping!

[godofstoriessuggestion]

:o camping?!

[askbalderthings]

NO

[godofstoriessuggestion]

listen, it’s not like I want to live in the wilderness— *pauses, thinks* …well, not now. I’m enjoying the internet, and the ability to order pizza.

but come on, Balder. don’t you ever want to lie in some nice soft green grass and look up at the stars? :3

[askbalderthings]

Not really. There's usually bugs in the grass

[godofstoriessuggestion]

so? there’s bugs in the house, too, but I don’t see you freakin’ out about that.

[askbalderthings]

*disgusted* Camping

[therealityhelix]

*Thrilled* Camping!

[godofstoriessuggestion]

:o camping?!

[askbalderthings]

NO

[godofstoriessuggestion]

listen, it’s not like I want to live in the wilderness— *pauses, thinks* …well, not now. I’m enjoying the internet, and the ability to order pizza.

but come on, Balder. don’t you ever want to lie in some nice soft green grass and look up at the stars? :3

[godofstoriessuggestion]

we can roast marshmallows over Laussa. :D

[askbalderthings]

*disgusted* Camping

[therealityhelix]

*Thrilled* Camping!

[godofstoriessuggestion]

:o camping?!