Assassins Don't Need Friends
Why you're wrong about Illumi
So a joke I see thrown around the HxH fandom a LOT is "Haha, Illumi says assassin's shouldn't have friends but he is friends with Hisoka!!! Illumi is a hypocrite"
...And while, don't get me wrong, that's funny... I feel like a lot of you are missing the point.
When Illumi was scolding Killua for making friends, he wasn't actually saying "You'll never have a friend in your entire life". His goal wasn't to dissuade Killua from forming relationships or to isolate him.
What Illumi was ACTUALLY saying was "You have no right to make friends because, sooner or later, you'll put them in danger, and you don't have the strength to fight for them".
That was the point of Illumi's test - had Killua stood up to him and fought him, that would've been proof that he could protect his friends. From others and even from himself - as Illumi says, Killua DOES still feel pleasure in killing (at that point in the story) and he could easily become a danger to even those he cares for.
Illumi's goal was to test Killua's resolve after he ran away from home, not to isolate him. If Killua had returned home and grown stronger, or stood up for himself, Illumi would've backed off.
What's more is that I think part of Illumi was rooting for Killua to fight back - he speaks so uncharacteristically airily and haughtily in this scene that it feels like he's egging Killua on, encouraging him to fight back. He wants Killua to be stronger, and, in his own way, wants him to be ABLE to have friends.
In the Election arc, when Killua is trying to save Gon's life by bringing Alluka to him, Illumi is chasing him down to stop him... However the MOMENT that Killua stands up to him he stops to listen and once Killua proves that Alluka isn't a threat he just. Let's them go. No strings attached, no backhanded plans. He expresses happiness that Killua now has the strength - mental and physical - to save his friend.
Killua has earned the right to make friends and Illumi is sincerely happy for him.
Yes, Illumi is without a doubt abusive to Killua (he's perpetuating the abusive cycle started by his parents being, himself, very clearly suffering from the same abuse). Yes, he's an awful person by any moral standing.
But he does, sincerely, love Killua.
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