Hi lovelies! I’m slowly fighting my way out of my writer’s block. Thank you so much for your patience and I hope you enjoy this! - Love, Kiki 🖤
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Loki x female reader
𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 | Part of my Sinday Celebration, prompts: “Hmm, is that a threat or a promise?” by @finnismyoriginalsin and “Oh, I love that sound you make” by anon. I hope you like it! ♡
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | You need to get ready for Tony and Pepper’s engagement party, and Loki finds a rather creative way to help you with the task at hand.
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 | sweet, hot smut
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 4 k
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (ONLY READ IF YOU’RE 18+ YEARS OLD!), fingering, a bit of dirty talk
𝐀/𝐍 | Please don’t copy, translate or steal my works. If you take inspiration from my stories for your own, please ask beforehand and give me credit!
A frustrated growl escaped your throat as the strand of hair slipped from your grip again, and the carefully woven French braid came loose once more.
A knock sounded on the door to the bathroom, followed by Loki’s bemused voice, “Since I’m not interested in having my throat slit tonight, I’m not asking you to hurry, though you might want to take into consideration that the party might be over already until you’re done with your little glow-up.”
“I need to braid my hair but it doesn’t work. At least it doesn’t look like the braid in the video. It doesn’t look like a braid at all,” you muttered an explanation with a glance at the girl staring back at you from your phone’s display, her cheerful smile frozen as you pressed pause for what probably was the hundredth time. Either the tutorial was a bad one, or you severely lacked talent, hair-styling-wise. It was most definitely the latter one.
You opened the bathroom door, giving Loki a half-hearted glare before you took a few moments to let your gaze wander over him, clad in a sleek dark suit that made him look even more otherworldly beautiful than he already did; just as Loki’s gaze roamed over your own form.
You’d already donned the pretty black cocktail dress you’d bought the week before, your lips painted a deep shade of crimson and your make-up perfected. Only your hair was still a mess.
“You look stunning,” Loki commented with a genuine smile, reaching out to intertwine his hand with yours and pull you towards him, out of the bathroom and into the adjoining bedroom.
request: Christmas request for Tom Hiddleston? I’m in love! Fluff to smut? Dance with me by the tree and I know another way we can keep warm? Ahh thank you so much for your amazing writing!
a/n: AH Y'ALL ARE GETTING ME WITH THESE im obsessed. i'd like Tom to warm me up like this 😭❤️ also not me jamming out to Burnin' Up by the Jonas Brothers as i wrote this LOL
warnings: smut
summary: While dancing by the Christmas tree, Tom can't help but notice and feel you shuddering in front of him. He devises a plan to warm you back up...
Prompts used: Fluff #8: “Dance with me by the tree.” & Smut #4: “I know of some other ways to keep warm.”
Christmas Prompt List
main masterlist
Christmas / Holiday masterlist
“Tommy!” You called his name sweetly, watching as he appeared seconds later. You smiled, staring up at the tree, a soft melody playing in the background. “Dance with me by the tree.” You reached your hands out.
Smiling, he made his way over. There was no way Tom would pass up the request of his darling wife to dance with her by the Christmas tree. Holding his hands out, he immediately grabbed yours and pulled you in circles, causing you to release a belly laugh. Your hands wrapped around his neck, the two of you turning it into a slower-pace dance.
Tom noticed the goosebumps rising on your arms, making him smile. “Cold?” He asked. You nodded and that’s when he heard your teeth chatter together. Laughing, he pulled you closer. He had his jacket on from when he went out, so he quickly removed it and wrapped it around your shoulders.
You nuzzled closer into his chest, the warmth of his skin exposed on his chest flush against your cheek. You hummed, still continuing to shiver. Tom quickly rubbed your arms, trying to warm you further. You were wearing your leggings, a loose t-shirt, and now his jacket. Your feet were bare against the hardwood floors of your London home.
He continued to sway you back and forth, but your constantly shivering was making him turn into the protective husband… who had dirtier ideas than he needed to.
“I know of some other ways to keep warm,” Tom announced and you could hear the smirk. Gazing up at him, your eyebrows furrowed.
“T-Tom,” You said through chattering teeth. “I-I’m cold a-and you want t-to have s-sex?” You shivered. He laughed, kissing your forehead.
“We’d be exchanging body heat…” He coaxed. Smiling, you hugged him tighter.
“To the b-bed! But I n-need my f-fuzzy blanket.” You sighed. Tom nodded, already plucking the fleece blanket off the back of the couch as you two headed up the stairs to your bedroom.
When you two made it upstairs, Tom quickly discarded his clothes and pulled back the sheets. You shakily removed each layer until you were utterly bare and Tom saw goosebumps everywhere, not to mention your definite pebbled nipples. He couldn’t help but chuckle, quickly pulling you onto the bed with him.
“S-Stop laughing! Y-Yours are h-hard, too!” You grimaced. You had the blanket wrapped around your backside, Tom taking care of the front.
Pulling you on top of his chest, he tangled his legs through yours, your naked bodies pressing against each other. He pulled the sheets over the two of you and you smiled at the warm sensation overcoming you with the blankets covering your back.
Tom’s large hands were warm as they smoothed up and down your backside, his fingertips brushing across your cheeks. You smiled to yourself and snuggled closer, the motion proving detrimental for both of you. It was the kickstart to the first round of sex, as Tom’s length twitched beneath you.
“You’re already getting hard..” You sighed with a smirk.
Tom looked down at you. “Can you blame me? My wife is lying on top of me… naked.”
Giggling, you rolled your eyes and picked your head up. You kept your arms wrapped around him, your lips pressing to his. The kiss was soft and sweet, first beginning as a few short pecks. You deepened the kiss when your mouth opened and captured Tom’s bottom lip in between yours, sucking gently. He held you tighter against his frame, his hips shifting.
He was growing more eager with each passing second as your hips bounced lightly across his member. “Can you move to your side?” Tom asked in between kisses. Nodding, he helped slide you off of him. You shuddered, but he wrapped the blanket around the two of you.
Nestling himself in between the space of your legs, he used his foot to kick one of your legs over his waist. Angled just right, Tom pressed his hand to your back and pushed you forward against him. Your chests were pressing to each other’s, a soft moan falling from your lips when you felt his hand tease your core.
Craning your head against the pillow, you kissed him deeper. Once he finished toying with your clit and gathering the mound of wetness onto his fingers, he pumped his cock a few times and soon found himself pushing past your folds.
The moan cut from your throat immediately at the feel of him entering you. He pressed himself closer to you, the two of you skin-on-skin with one another. You wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and started to move your hips in time with his. The soft moans that uttered from your lips mixed in with the grunts he created, the two of you swallowing the other’s sounds.
He gained momentum as he pressed harder into you, his thrusts proving to warm you up quickly. The goosebumps were starting to vanish and you were deeply connected to him. You reached below and stroked his backside, your eyes rolling.
Tom suddenly hit your sweet spot and that’s when you were a moaning mess against him.
“That’s it, babe, right there… Oh, Tom, don’t stop, please!” You whined, stretching your leg further outwards so you could feel every inch of him as he moved inside of you.
“I’ve got you, baby, don’t worry…” Tom smiled back at you, kissing your cheeks before he rested his lips against yours.
It wasn’t long before the two of you found yourselves completely unraveling in and around the other. Your walls convulsed around Tom’s hardened length as he pushed out an orgasm that filled you completely to the brim. You whimpered, the feel of your hips moving in sync suddenly coming to a softened end.
Your arms were wrapped around each other in a tight embrace, the warmth spreading all across your body.
“Are you warm now, baby?” Tom asked with a smile. You nodded your head.
“I am… Thank you, sweetheart…” You sighed, kissing him lazily.
“Of course, Darling,” He chuckled. “Now I say we just lay here and really stay warm…”
You couldn’t agree more.
He pulled the sheets over the top of your heads, encasing you in silk. You smiled, snuggling as close as you could to his chest while he remained rested inside of you.
You’d have to remember this technique for the next time you get cold.
Candy Cane Delight 》 Tom Hiddleston x Reader (18+)
request: Hi hi! Can I get a smut imagine for tom Hiddleston? 5 and 6 from your Christmas prompt list! Thank you so much <33
a/n: OOOOOH I LOVED THIS SO MUCH AHHHHH!
warnings: smut; oral m!receiving
summary: When Tom sees you enjoying a delicious candy cane, his mind immediately rushes to other things.
Smut #5: “Watching you lick that candy cane is turning me on.” & Smut #6: “Someone made the Naughty List this year.”
Christmas Prompt List
main masterlist
Christmas / Holiday masterlist
“Ahhhh! My favorite part about Christmas!” You exclaimed, ripping open the box of candy canes. Your husband watched you from his spot in the kitchen, his eyes flickering between you and his phone. He saw you tear into the box and start pulling away the plastic. Holding the red and white candy cane by the loop, you pushed the longer end in between your lips and started to lick, a soft moan falling from your lips.
Biting down on his bottom lip, he continued to watch you suck against the candy cane. The sight was making his length begin to twitch behind his dark jeans, his eyes rolling. You were tempting him without even knowing it. You looked so sweet and innocent sitting on the barstool, swirling the edge of the sweet around in your mouth.
Oh no, you just pushed it back into your mouth.
Tom was groaning in his mind.
How did you make a simple Christmas treat look so… dirty?
You could feel those rocker baby blues glued to you, causing you to smirk.
“What is it, baby?” You question him, popping the candy cane out of your mouth. He knew what you were doing when he saw you readjust yourself in your seat. Pressing yourself further against the counter, you teasingly pulled your tank top slightly lower to reveal the tops of your breasts. Pushing them together, you put the treat back inside your mouth and swirl your tongue around it. Moaning sweetly into the air, Tom was quaking.
“I just came to the sudden realization,” Tom gulped. “Someone made the Naughty List this year.” He looked over at you. Giggling, you shot him a wink.
“What makes you say that?” You twirled it around in your mouth so good.
Tom felt his pants tighten further, his insides churning.
“Watching you lick that candy cane is turning me on.” He announced, making his way over to you. Your eyes widened. You got him right where you wanted him. Smirking, you allowed his hands to reach out and grab you.
“Do you want me to suck on something else?” You asked him, ghosting your hand across his bulge. His eyes tipped into the back of his head, that being the obvious answer. Smiling widely, you hopped up from your spot and grabbed his hand, leading him upstairs.
Tom was laughing the entire time, the sexual frustration about to be ultimately released. You still had the candy cane in your mouth, chewing at the edges. It had made your mouth become cooler and thus you were going to enjoy this.
You unfastened Tom’s belt and pulled it out of the loops before unbuttoning his jeans. When you pushed them down to his legs and pushed him back onto the bed, your eyes were met with the angry erection that was hidden behind his boxers. Tapping his thighs, you slowly peeled the fabric away from his legs, his member springing into the air.
He was already slick and it made this much more arousing. Tom watched you spin the candy cane back into your mouth, your tongue ensuring to coat each taste bud with the peppermint flavor.
“I hope this doesn’t burn…” You suddenly said, Tom’s eyes widening. Smiling, you finished chewing part of the candy cane, the coolness absorbing into your mouth. While you waited to swallow the tiny fragments of the cane, you wrapped your warm hands around Tom’s cock and started to move up and down.
He leaned back on his arms, his legs spread while you were settled between his thighs, on your knees. He released a throaty moan that furthermore was enhanced greatly when your mouth came down to wrap around him. His eyes bolted open at the tingling sensation of your mint-coated mouth pressing into his length.
“Whoa!” He gasped. “That’s… Different, oh Darling, oh!” Tom’s reaction of surprise soon turned into rounds of pleasure as he opened his eyes to watch your head bob against him. You danced your tongue around his reddened tip, smiling widely while your hands worked down his shaft.
His fingers combed through your hair as you sucked him off better than the candy cane you had in your mouth moments ago. He was infatuated with the sensation, the tingling not bothering him one bit, but enhancing your skill.
Tom was breathing harder as the seconds passed, his raging member twitching in your mouth. You were humming and creating delicious noises around him, your tongue swiping across the veins of his length. You made it a point to hold eye contact with him as you sucked, the tip of his cock touching the back of your throat.
You could feel him on the verge of release the longer you kept going, so you strengthened the touches of your tongue against his sensitive head while your hands worked faster against his shaft.
It was mere seconds when you felt a load of hot liquid hit the back of your throat. Your eyes popped open at the sudden rush before he came undone inside of your mouth, his blue eyes rolling. You giggled at the feeling, the minty freshness wrapping around the layer of cum, thus making it a lot more enjoyable once you swallowed.
Tom’s eyes reopened to stare at you, his gorgeous princess settled on her knees for him. He smiled widely, taking his thumb and brushing it underneath your eye. You still had his softened member in your mouth, causing you to blink. You looked so innocent now.
Pulling your mouth away, you licked your lips.
“Am I still on the Naughty List?” You batted your eyelashes, hands held behind your back.
Tom shook his head. “No, sweet girl… You are at the top of the Nice List.” He laughed.
Giggling, you climbed into his lap and straddled his hips, your lips finding his.
“Good! Your turn.” You winked, Tom instantly obeying your words.
Something Good (Tom Hiddleston x Female Reader) Part 58
Summary: While walking through the construction of your new home just four days before the wedding, Tom's mind flashes back over memories from the last few months since the proposal and movie premiere at Christmas.
I hope the flashbacks aren't confusing. I tried to put space between them to show when we are jumping to a flash back. All flashbacks are in the few days after the proposal at Christmas and the current time is April, four months later.
This chapter is nearly 11, 000 WORDS!! I still can't believe it. After this chapter, we only have TWO chapters left in the main series. Please be sure and send in one shot ideas, even if you want to send them anonymously.
I just want to thank everyone once again for all the love of the last week as I struggled with some things in my personal life. I am in a much better headspace now and can't wait to wrap up Hollywood and Georgia's story.
~J~
P.S. The songs I used for inspiration is The Rest of our Life by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill until the scene at the old house, My Person (Wedding Edition) by Spencer Crandall for the old house scene, and Speak to a Girl by Tim and Faith for the final part when Hollywood and Georgia talk things out.
Tom pulled up in front of the chaos that was the construction site to see that he had beat the builder here. After being in London the last few weeks for meetings, he was surprised to see that walls now stood where there was only wood frames before. It was beginning to look like a home now and it amazed him to see the blueprints coming to life in front of his eyes.
Climbing out of the ranch truck, he glanced down the hill and smiled. Only a mile from your mother’s house, the new home that was being built for the two of you was on top of the hill you loved most on the property. The view was incredible. The kitchen window and master bedroom on the back of the house would have an amazing view of the sunrise, while the wrap around front porch would have a perfect view of the sunset each night from the porch swing he would eventually have installed for you.
In the late afternoon sun, the entire front of the two-story home was lit up and invited him inside to explore. Even though the inside only had sheetrock up over the studs, it was enough to divide the layout of each room. For the first time, he was able to see the elements of your new home in London that had been incorporated into this one. His mind drifted back to that day after the premiere when the two of you had seen the home for the first time…
It had already been a long day after meeting Jen for coffee and looking at house after house. Each of them had been beautiful but none of them felt… right. Of course, some of them had major flaws that he saw or you cringed at.
“Is house hunting really this exhausting, babe, or are we just being picky? I mean we don’t really have to one now. We could just extend the lease at the rent house in Atlanta for now.”
Tom glanced over at you from the driver’s seat of the Jag he kept here in London before returning his attention to the road and Jen’s car in front of him. With a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I don’t feel like we’re being too picky, love. There are just so many more things to consider this time. Hell, last time I bought the house through email after seeing a few pictures. I was also single and didn’t plan to spend too much time there due to my filming schedule. I didn’t even paint anything for the first two years!”
You let out your own frustrated sigh and leaned back against the headrest.
“What do you say we call it a day after this one? I just want to spend the evening relaxing in the tub at the hotel and sleep until we have to head to your mom’s in the morning.”
He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed it with a smile.
“Only if I get to join you in the bath, darling.”
As he turned off the main road into the neighborhood, he saw you roll your eyes at him as you shook your head.
“That will only lead to another night in the bed without sleeping, Thomas… Although, I guess we should enjoy the privacy while we have it. The next week will be spent under the same roof with both of our mothers and most of your family. I have a feeling with the excitement of the engagement, we will have even less privacy than last year.”
A smirk spread across his face as he recalled the previous Christmas and the special memories it held.
“You have to admit baby, it was fun to sneak kisses when no one was watching. I still can’t believe that was only last year that we said we loved each other, and here we are, getting married and hopefullypurchasing a home together.”
You looked over at him and smiled as the memories all came back to that amazing week together.
“At least you won’t have to sneak away with me for a New Year’s kiss…”
“Oh, I still plan to sneak away with you baby girl, it just won’t be for a kiss this time…”
The look he shot you made you adjust in your seat as his eyes scanned your body before returning to the road. Tom threw on his signal as he followed Jen into a gated community. With a confused look on your face, you started flipping through the folder she gave you for the day with the listing for the homes you were viewing. He didn’t need to ask as the two of you spoke without words. Neither of you remembered there being a home in a private community.
Feeling the car come to a stop, you flipped through the book one last time before you felt him grab your arm.
“Love?”
You looked up at the home in front of you and gasped. It was gorgeous. The private drive curved up to a massive two-story home with large windows on the top floor that you just knew let in tons of light. Both of you were speechless as you climbed out of the car. Jen gave you a cautious smile.
“Now, I know this one wasn’t on the list, but based on some things you said at the last house, this one came to mind. It just came on the market a few days ago, but I felt it was worth looking at. It’s a private gated community with its own private park a few blocks away that is just for residents so you can take Bobby for runs without worrying about the press. It’s not the same primary school as Ben and Sophie, but it’s still a great school. This one doesn’t have an attached garage, but one can easily be built. It does have Tom’s kitchen requirements with an office downstairs. The yard space is smaller than the others, but I felt that the private park would make up for it.”
Quickly noticing that neither of you had stopped smiling yet, she took a deep breath.
“Shall we?”
Tom placed his hand on the small of your back before kissing the top of your head.
“After you, my love.”
The front door opened to a spacious living room with a fireplace and high windows that let in tons of light into the room. Knowing exactly what Tom was looking for first, Jen pointing to the door to the right. He pushed the swinging door open to find the biggest kitchen he had ever seen. It had obviously been updated recently and the appliances looked brand new. There was an island in the middle of the room with barstools on the far side that faced the stove top on the other side. He smiled as the image of him preparing dinner appeared with little ones on the bar stools as he helped them with their studies. The scene only improved as he spotted the large dining table in the corner with a wall of windows behind it.
“This home doesn’t have a formal dining room, so this is the only place for a table. The windows behind it are actually doors that open up onto the garden for parties.”
“Just like Fiji…”
You smiled up at him as you remembered opening the wall of glass in the condo on the beach first thing every morning together as you drank coffee.
“Just like Fiji, George.”
Pushing back through the swinging door, you were guided into a spacious home office across the hall. The windows over looked the garden, or what you referred to as a back yard. While it wasn’t huge, it was enough for a swing set or other play equipment for kids. The laundry room was through the next door with a mud room area leading into the yard. It was a similar set up to his first home.
“Perfect spot for a doggy door, darling.”
Bobby had spoiled the two of you in Atlanta with him being able to come and go as he pleased.
The staircase curved up and around to the bedrooms on the second floor. The top of the landing held two bedrooms with a guest bathroom connecting the two. Having access to the bathroom off both rooms, as well as the hallway was a nice feature. The end of the hall led to a set of double doors that open to the master suite.
“This is my favorite part of the house. The master over looks both the front drive and the garden below and the windows let in a very generous amount of natural light. The bathroom has both a roomy shower and a soaking tub with jets and leads to two walk-in closets on either side.”
After glancing at the bathroom and wishing you could take a bubble bath at this very moment, Jen quickly returned to the bedroom to direct you to the other side of the entrance from the hallway.
“Tom, this feature isn’t something you mentioned, but I immediately thought of you when I saw it.”
She opened another set of doors to a private space contained just off the master bedroom with more windows that overlooked the yard below. His eyes lit up as he wandered inside.
“It would be a perfect second office if you wished to have a space of your own in the privacy of your room. It’s closer than going downstairs if you need to make a quick call or need to film an interview. The previous owners actually used it as a nursery for their newborn until the felt comfortable enough to move the baby down the hall to his own room.”
He looked back at you with tears in his eyes as he walked to the windows to look out onto the yard below. Jen quickly took the hint and gave the two of you some space to talk. When she left the room, you wrapped your arms around his waist.
“You see it all too, don’t you babe?”
With a shaky breath, Tom nodded. Even though he couldn’t speak, you could feel everything he felt, and it was overwhelming.
“Getting kids ready for school while you cook breakfast. Dinners together at the table. Christmas morning in the living room with a massive tree in front of the large windows in the corner. If you still choose to not act anymore, maybe you can still do theatre or go into teaching. You’d have the office space downstairs and also up here. Maybe do more charity work with your free time. If you don’t want the office space up here, I’m not against putting a little bundle of joy in there instead…”
The suggestion made him raise his eyebrows as he turned to wrap his arms around you.
“This place certainly has plenty of space for a big family, sweetheart. I wouldn’t be apposed to finding other activities to engage in with my free time…”
Your laugh filled the empty room and made him smile.
“Well, what do you say, Hollywood? Is this the one?”
Glancing around the room, he let out a sigh of relief.
“What do you think, Georgia? It’s your home too.”
Pulling him down for a kiss, you gently pressed your lips against his before staring into his eyes.
“You’re my home, Thomas William. To answer your question though, I certainly can picture a life here together… I guess we should break the news to Jen that our search is over.”
Tom carefully made his way up the mostly completed stairs to the second floor. After quickly glancing in the various rooms, he stopped in what would eventually be the bedroom he would share with you. To his right, he could see the start of his office. Over the last few months since moving into the new home in London, he had enjoyed the office upstairs more than he had planned to in the beginning. Because of that, the home here on the ranch wasn’t going to have an office downstairs. It would just have a small one off the master bedroom with a hallway entrance as well. The plan was to split time between the two homes and he planned to spend more time relaxing here instead of working. Time here was about letting you unwind and ground yourself once more. It would be about letting you ride in the pastures and feel the wind whip through your hair. It was going to be family dinners with your mom and nights at JB’s dance hall before ending the night on the porch swing. London was his roots, but Georgia was all about yours. As he stood to look out what would be the large window that looked down at Catherine’s, his mind once again drifted off to Christmas in London and the moment that started the two of you down the path you were on right now…
Just as the two of you expected, it was pure chaos when you arrived at Diana’s the following day. Everyone met you outside and couldn’t wait to congratulate the happy couple. You held it together until you locked eyes with your mother. Tom watched as you teared up and ran to her for a hug. Over your shoulder, Catherine gave him a wink as she held you in her arms and looked down at the ring before giving you a kiss. Once you were passed off to Diana and his sisters, Tom got his turn.
“Hi, darling.”
His soon to be mother-in-law pulled him into a tight hug. She seemed to grow even closer to him over the last few months since he made sure to bring her baby home each weekend for time together. It had become a routine now. After driving out on Friday night, Saturday was spent doing projects around the house or ranch, dancing at JB’s that night, and family breakfast on Sunday morning before driving back into town for filming the next week.
“You did good, son. I’ve never seen that girl smile so much in her life.”
It certainly was a change from last year after driving out in silence. This time the two of you laughed and discussed plans for the house and briefly talked about wedding plans, knowing it would be the topic of the week with everyone. After getting settled in and enjoying dinner together, Tom retired to the living room with his nieces while you, the moms, and his sisters all sat around the table and began the discussion on the upcoming wedding. Everyone was excitedly throwing out ideas and in the beginning, you were engaged in the topic. A few minutes later, he looked up at find you staring off in the distance with a blank look. As he went to stand, he heard you politely excuse yourself and retreat out onto the back patio, quickly grabbing your coat as you rushed by it. Just as Cat stood to follow you, he rested a hand on her shoulder. Understanding that he would handle it, she smiled up at him as he walked by.
When you heard the door open, you quickly wiped the tears from your cheeks and kept your back to them. The jingle of his dog tags quickly approached as Bobby whined at your feet. Leaning down to pet him, you knew that the pup hated to see you upset.
“Mama’s fine, sweetie. Go. It’s almost time for bed.”
With the command, he ran out into the snow and sniffed around for a spot to do his business. As you stood, his arms wrapped around your waist. He stayed silent until you were ready to talk. Swaying the two of you side to side, he rested his chin on your shoulder and just held you. With a quiet unsteady voice, you whispered more into the night than to the man behind you.
“He should be here…”
You could hear the pain in his voice as he held you tighter.
“I know, baby.”
A sob escaped as the tears fell harder.
“I mean, I obviously knew this was something Daddy was going to miss. It just didn’t hit me until now that it’s here and it’s real… He’s supposed to be here for this, Tom. He should be giving us his blessing and walking me down the aisle. He should be dancing with me at our wedding. He should be giving you that talk and shaking your hand. It’s not fair. Daddy should be here. He was supposed to be here with us…”
He felt your legs give out as you finally turned to face him. Had he not already had his arms tightly around you, you surely would have fallen against the snow covered concrete. With all his strength, he held you up as you cried into his chest. The thick coat muffled your screams as the grief washed over you like it was fresh once again. His own tears fell as his heart broke for you. It was a pain he had yet to have to endure and he wished more than anything that it was something you hadn’t been forced to experience at such a young age. No girl should have to lose their father at nineteen just as they were truly experiencing life. Knowing there was nothing to say, he just held you and let you mourn the loss of something so precious.
After a few minutes, your cries began to quiet, and he felt you begin to support your own weight once more. It didn’t mean he loosened his grip on you yet. When you lifted your head and looked up at him, he finally spoke while wiping your remaining tears away while caressing your cheeks.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I would take the pain away from you in a second if I could. I want you to know that you aren’t alone though, darling.”
He turned your face to look over his shoulder to the room full of amazingly strong women behind the two of you.
“Every single one of them love you more than life itself. I know it will never fill the space in your life that he filled, but he would want you to be happy and enjoy your day… our day. I wish I had the chance to ask for your hand in marriage and have him hand you off to me at the altar. I wish I was given the chance to meet the man that helped shape you into the incredible woman that I know and love. Just know that you aren’t alone, sweetheart. You’ve got me, George. Every single day for the rest of our lives.”
You finally looked back up at him and gave him a sad smile before hugging him tighter.
“I know, babe. It just comes in waves. I thought it would get easier the longer he was gone, but it never does. I’m just scared to take this step without him. It’s the first major life event I’ve had without him and I don’t know how to do this.”
He placed a soft kiss against your lips and rested his forehead against yours as you began to shiver from the cold and emotions.
“It’s okay to be scared, love. I’m right here through it all. Anytime it’s too much or you need a minute to breath, you know what to do. If you decide to forego the wedding all together, I will marry you right here on mum’s back porch in the cold the second we can get a minister here. Just say the word, Georgia Girl.”
It felt good to hear you laugh. Tom leaned back to smile at you as he tucked the hair out of your face.
“If you decide you want the biggest wedding I can afford, I’ll give it to you baby. Everything I have is yours if you’re willing to put up with me as your husband. I can promise you one thing. We will find a way to honor your father through all of it because he gave me the greatest gift. Every single life event we have together will have a way to honor him, starting with the day we get married.”
You relaxed into his arms as you nodded.
“Thank you, babe. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
Leaning into his chest, you stood on your toes and went in for a kiss. Holding your face in both of his hands, he leaned down and gave you a deep kiss before following it with a few short kisses.
“Anything for you, darling. I love you so very much.”
“I love you too, babe. Will you please dry off our fur baby so we can go back inside now? I’m freezing.”
Looking up, the dog was no where in sight. With a grin, he reached up and covered your ears with his hands before winking at you. A loud whistle escaped his lips causing the pup to reappear from behind the greenhouse and dash through the few inches of snow to where the two of you stood. You handed him the towel off the table behind you giving him one more kiss before the dog arrived.
“You’re getting pretty good at that, Hiddleston. I’m impressed.”
Once back inside, your mother instinctively knew what had been bothering you, even if she didn’t say a word.
“You alright, darlin’?”
Giving her a smile and a nod, you took your seat again. This time, Tom sat right beside you and held your hand as he took over the discussion for you.
“Well ladies, where did you leave off?”
Diana smiled at him before looking around the table.
“I suppose the first thing to figure out is when. Have you two discussed dates at all, love?”
He looked over at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, George? I’m good with it if you are. I meant what I said, my love.”
After exchanging a look, you nodded and locked eyes with your mom.
“April 17th.”
Her gasp made the other ladies at the table look between the three of you. Tears were already filling both you and your mother’s eyes, so Tom spoke up.
“As long as you’re willing to share your wedding anniversary with us, Catherine. Y/N and I would like to honor Jimmy as much as possible.”
Now all the women in the room were crying, which meant his tears began to form as well. Standing and moving towards you, your mother hugged you both tightly and kissed both of you.
From his position at the window, Tom could see the builder’s truck off in the distance as it came around the curve on the dirt road leading up to the long private drive to Catherine’s. The drive had simply been extended to head up towards the house you and he would be sharing on the property. Knowing he still had a good five minutes before the builder arrived at the top of the hill, he turned and slowly made his way back down to the truck to greet him.
As he crossed the front porch, his phone vibrated in his back pocket. Rolling his eyes, he already knew who the text was going to be from, even though it was now getting extremely late in London.
Please answer the phone. This is a chance you can’t pass up, Hiddleston. Just hear me out.
Luke had been bothering him for weeks to take an audition for a new film. He claimed the director and producers had requested him personally, but he knew he had quit the business for a reason. That reason had also needed his full attention since that night on his mother’s back patio. You hadn’t been the same since the two of you had started planning the wedding. To say the last four months had been tough would be a gross understatement. It was as if you were mourning the loss of your father all over again. You had been distant and cold at times, while angry and short-tempered during others. It had been a true test to the strength of your relationship. In his heart, he knew that you were hurting, and it was a pain he didn’t understand. Luckily, you were able to turn to your mother for support on the rare occasions you chose to talk it out with someone. He just wished that person you went to for comfort was the one you had agreed to marry.
Tom sat down on the front steps and replayed the latest fight over again in his head. He was still angry with himself at the way he had acted. Usually, he stayed quiet and just tried to hold you, but as time had passed, you started to refuse to be touched. During one particularly rough night, you had finally agreed to seek help. Between the anxiety and depression medication and your appointments with Dr. Ryan, your moods had leveled out more but there were still the occasional switch that through him off balance. The latest one had taken place on a night that he was preoccupied with press interviews for the premiere of the second season of Loki. He shouldn’t have been so short with you, but he didn’t know how to help you and it drove him mad. After all these years, he thought he knew what you needed from him. The woman he had been living with for the last few months was someone different, and he never knew if this one needed affection or space. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed like he always got it wrong. If he tried to hold you, you would pull away from him. If he gave you space, it never failed that you would grow more distant until he would find you crying alone somewhere in the house. Your usual hiding place was the garden off the kitchen. It broke his heart that you seemed to only accept his embrace when you were on the edge of an attack or hysterically crying. He already felt like a failure as a husband, and the two of you hadn’t even made it down the aisle yet. The words he had said to you two nights ago as he packed his bag to make the trip back to Georgia for the wedding still echoed through his thoughts.
What do you want from me, Y/N?
If he had asked the question in a calm soothing tone that showed he cared, it might not have been so bad. Instead, the words had an edge to them as he raised his voice and frustratedly threw his clothes into the suitcase. They were said in anger and left a bitter taste in their wake. In a panic, he had turned around just in time to see your expression before you turned and walked out of the room. Tom had tried to follow you, but you put your hand up to stop him without saying a single word. You hadn’t spoken a word to him since. Not when you came to bed later that night, during the seven hour flight to Atlanta the following morning, or in the two days since that night. He had certainly tried. The guests were set to arrive the day after tomorrow and the two of you weren’t speaking to each other.
Per Dr. Ryan’s request, the two of you had done today’s session separately. He arrived in the morning and you been set to arrive just after lunch today. The therapy sessions had started out as helping you and shifted at some point to include a weekly appointment together to focus on the relationship. It had helped to some degree, but today’s session had been especially brutal. Dr. Ryan certainly earned the fees she was charging him. His mind had been racing since he left her office this morning. In between all the questions and concerns occupying his focus, one certain memory continued to find its way into the center of it all. The last time he had felt that he had been able to give you what you needed…
The drive back to London on New Year’s Day was a quiet one but a comfortable one. Tom continued to glance over at you as you rested your head against the back of the seat with it slightly reclined as you watched the snow-covered fields pass outside the passenger window. He smiled as he recalled the night before. Not only did he get his kiss at midnight without having to hide it from everyone, the two of you had escaped to the darkness of the back patio for the last of many make out sessions during the week. It had become a thing for the two of you when it was time to let Bobby outside. Once you retired to the bedroom though, things only heated up further. Knowing you certainly weren’t quiet about the pleasure he gave you, his hand remained over your mouth during it all unless his mouth was on yours to muffle your moans. Since you were only running on a few short hours of sleep, he wasn’t surprised when your eyes closed on the journey back to the city.
Once he was down the street from the house, he squeezed your hand to gently wake you up from your nap. The drowsy smile on your face was short lived when he pulled into the driveway and your eyes focused on the place you had once called home with him. The panic was already beginning to show in your features. To defuse the situation before it truly began, he placed his hand on your cheek and turned your attention back to him.
“Darling, it will be alright. I’m right here. Once we get everything packed, we never have to step foot inside of it again. I promise. I love you and we’ll do it together. Alright?”
You simply nodded your head and whispered a quiet “love you too” before gazing back at the structure. He knew now that he had been right to sell the home. If you reacted this way to seeing it again, there was no way to build a life together here anymore. Quickly making his way around to your side of the Jag, he opened the door and took your hand. Pressing his lips to yours first, he grasp your hand tightly in his and made his way to the front door. As the door slowly swung open and he turned on the light, neither of you moved from the threshold to step inside. In his mind, he could already hear your cries echo through the space from the last night you were here. Both of you took a deep breath before making your way inside to the living room. Without anyone home to switch the heating on, the room held an icy chill to the air. Somehow it felt like the atmosphere wasn’t just from the snowy weather outside. It also came from the hatred, heartache, and pain that the home now held.
“I’m going to adjust the heat for us. Will you be alright, love?”
Even though you gave him a smile, his experience told him that you were far from alright. Placing a kiss on your forehead, he let go of your hand and made his way down the hall to the panel on the wall for the downstairs controls. Tom hadn’t heard you pass behind him to the stairs, so it surprised him to see you at the top of the landing when he bound up the staircase to the upstairs panel outside his bedroom. You were standing in the doorway outside what had been your bedroom with a pained expression on your face. Even though you had opened the door, you seemed to be frozen in place in the hallway. Taking his place beside you, neither of you spoke as you stood and stared into the space. Just as he had promised, he hadn’t touched a thing, leaving the room preserved exactly as you had left it that morning. It was almost like stepping back inside the memory once more. The only difference was the space beside the bed where the carpet was indented from all the nights he had been seated there for hours with a glass of whiskey. He was ashamed to see the rings from the glass and the square indention where the bottle had rested against the plush fibers.
At the same time, you both reached out and locked your pinkies together. From the corner of his eye, he watched your head turn to look up at him with tears in your eyes and a look of confusion forming. It only took a single look to realize that you both were struggling right now for different reasons. When your eyes locked on each other, the tears broke free. His vision blurred as he wrapped his arms around you so tightly he thought he might hurt you. Pulling you away from the doorway, he carefully dropped himself to the floor in the hallway with you in his lap as he rested his back against the wall. It was the same place he had planted himself the night you flew home from the charity event alone and barricaded yourself on the other side of the wall behind him. Through his own sobs and cries, he whispered reassurances against your ear and helped you breathe through your own pain.
Neither of you knew how much time had passed as you sat in his lap with your arms and legs wrapped around him. His arms were wrapped tightly around your back with his face in the crook of your neck. Coming back to the moment when you pulled your head back to look at him, Tom realized that the heat had been on long enough to warm up the hallway. You rested your forehead against his and after a few minutes, he finally found the courage to break the silence for the first time.
“I’m so sorry, baby. We had years of amazing memories here and I tainted them all in a matter of months.”
You took a deep breath and played with the curls under your fingers on the back of his head.
“I just didn’t expect it to all come back like that. It’s just that it was just like coming back from your mom’s last year. I was on top of the world and then it all came crashing down when I saw you with her and then broke your heart out of anger. You were right to sell it, babe. Even though I finally have you as mine, this place just… it’s still my prison. I spent so many days and nights just staring at these walls and surviving the mental and emotional hell that I was in. I just want to leave it all in the past with all of that pain and move on to our future… together.”
He tilted his head to kiss you before resting his forehead against yours once again while tracing circles on your back. You had every right to those feelings, especially with the week lining up with the events of last year. A fresh start was exactly what the both of you needed. The words fell from his lips without any doubt.
“Let’s do it baby. Leave it behind… all of it. The house and everything in it.”
You sat up to fight him until you saw the seriousness in his eyes.
“Thomas…”
“I mean it. I’ll call Jen and have her let the buyers know that they can have it all and get rid of what they don’t want. She can donate it to charity. I don’t care. You and I will go find new things to fill our home with that have no memories tied to it. Start completely fresh. We’ll take the sentimental items with us and leave the rest.”
As you glanced around, the idea did sound good in a perfect world, until your logical side kicked in.
“Tom, do you know how much it would cost to replace that much furniture? It’s a sweet gesture but ridiculous.”
His hand came up to tuck your hair behind your ear and focus your attention back on him.
“Georgia, I would happily spend every dime to my name to prevent you from feeling a single ounce of pain. In the same way you don’t care about how much I have in the bank, neither do I my love. Its only there to take care of you. We both need a fresh start and if I have the ability to give that to us, I’m taking it. Darling, I will spend the next six months building IKEA furniture if that’s what you want. I don’t care. I want our new home to only be filled with you and me and none of the pain that this place holds.”
Even though the notion seemed over the top to you, he knew you would be better off once you got over the price tag. Finally giving him that sigh of defeat, he chuckled and pulled you in for a kiss.
“It’s settled then. Let’s box up on the things we want and tomorrow, we go shopping. Can you do one thing for me, though?”
“Is giving in to your shopping spree not enough, Hollywood?”
He gave you the first genuine smile since stepping foot inside the home again.
“One more night of good memories to end it on a happy note. I want to spin you around the living room and eat takeout at the coffee table.”
The smile you returned only made his wider.
“Pizza or Chinese?”
He lifted you from his lap and stood before helping you to your feet.
“Hmm… pizza.”
“With extra cheese? Oh, and breadsticks?”
“Like you have to ask, George…”
After the order was placed, the two of you put together the boxes that Jen had dropped off in the living room days ago and went room by room together. The decisions were made together on what held great memories and was worthy of coming to the new house. Of course, pictures and family heirlooms went straight into the box. With a deep breath, he unlocked the door to the office. Watching you bite your lip as you glanced at the mirror on the wall above him, an idea came to him.
“My favorite memory in here was the times I got word back that I gotten a role I really wanted or the nights I would facetime you while working. Of course, it didn’t compare to having you here with me as we went over my schedule or you sat in that chair over in the corner and read while I worked…”
The happy memories made you smile.
“That really is a comfy chair…”
His eyes lit up as he glanced over at it.
“Take it?”
“Take it.”
He pulled out his cell and snapped a photo of the item to send to the movers. After gathering up the rest of his work-related items in a box marked for the office, along with the photographs and items he loved. The door was closed for the last time as the two of you made your way up the stairs. Since your room was the closest to the stairs, that was the one you started on first. Tom’s new game made it easier to step inside this time.
“My favorite memory was of course sharing the bed with you that night. Our first time… times… together were certainly memorable.”
The blush that formed on his cheeks made you giggle.
“That they were… while I would have to agree, I also loved all the times you would sing at the top of your lungs to your music while in the shower or dancing around your room without realizing I could hear you.”
Your head whipped around with wide eyes that made him double over in laughter. Now you were the one blushing.
“Noted. My private concerts weren’t so private apparently. At least you could only hear them and not see my amazing dance moves.”
His eyes narrowed as he leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
“I may have peeked a few times. When I heard you go from the room back to the bathroom to get ready, I knew you were already dressed. The hairbrush as a microphone was the best part.”
“THOMAS WILLIAM!”
“I never could resist you, love. I may have also known that by standing on this side of the doorframe, I could see you in the mirror in the bathroom, but you couldn’t see.”
After you gave him a challenging look, he stepped to the side and pointed to the bathroom before crossing his arms. You glared at him as you turned on your heels and made your way into the bathroom. Taking your place in front of the sink, you glanced up into the mirror to see that the doorway of the bathroom did indeed block the man from your line of vision. Hearing him chuckle at your reaction, he soon appeared in the doorway beside you with his large frame filling the space.
“Told you, George. They were my private concerts all along…”
As much you tried to pretend to be upset, it was impossible when he stepped closer to you in the small space and winked at you before pulling you in for a deep kiss. Both of you were breathless when he finally pulled away.
“Anything in here you want to take, baby?”
Obviously, nothing was left in the bathroom since it came with you the first time. Stepping by him to look around the room, you smiled and grabbed the one remaining photograph you had left behind before. It was the one of the two of you that he loved so much. With a kiss on top of your head, he reached around to take it and wrap it before securing it in the box on the bed. After deciding that the rest of the room would stay, you stopped and grabbed his folded t shirt off the dresser that he had placed there and tossed it to him on your way to the closet. The luggage set remained where it was along with the expensive designer clothes that he had purchased after you moved in with him.
“The luggage can come with us. I’m not attached to any of the clothes or shoes, but I would be okay with taking any that you love.”
With a nod and a smile, he retrieved the luggage and placed them open on the bed and returned to the walk in closet to browse the items. You smiled as you stood outside the doorway and watched him carefully consider the items. Each time his eyes would light up, he would smile and remove the item to hang on the empty bar behind him. Once he had pulled the shoes to go with them, he smiled and gathered them to pack into the luggage.
“Alright, Hollywood. Why those?”
Tom grinned as he looked up at you and resumed securing the items in the garment bag.
“Those three there were my favorites from the press tour when you first took over as my assistant. This one was the dress you wore in New Zealand when we went to dinner with Chris and Elsa. The night may have not gone according to plan, but the sight of you in this dress just did things to me, darling. The rest are ones that looked damn sexy on you. You would look beautiful in scraps, but the confidence you have while wearing these just make it impossible to keep my hands to myself.”
You couldn’t argue with the man, especially with the little black dress that you were secretly happy that he had picked out for you.
His bedroom of course took more time to pack up. Tom had only taken a small selection of his wardrobe with him to Atlanta, fully expecting to return in a few months. After helping him pack the remaining clothes from the dresser and the suits in the closest in the luggage from your bedroom, he moved on to the various pieces of furniture through out the room. You called out to him from your place on the bed against the headboard.
“Do I dare ask what your favorite memory in your bedroom was, Thomas?”
In the mirror in front of him in the bathroom, he rolled his eyes at you and continued to throw items from the linen closet into the box in front of him.
“Very funny, darling.”
Once the rest of the items were packed, he set the box down on the bed beside you and pulled out his phone to take pictures of pieces for the movers.
“I have many actually and all of them are you, baby, even if you barely spent any time in this room. I have tons of nights where I would fall asleep talking to you on the phone and wake up with a text from you before you went to bed yourself. The one night I got to hold you in my arms in this bed was the best one in this room. I still love that you came to me when you were cold.”
The memory came back to that night after returning from Fiji. Even in your sleep, you found a way to him.
“I was so nervous that morning when I woke up next to you with no memory on how I got there. I already knew I was in love with you and was so scared that you didn’t feel the same way. That’s not the only night I slept in your bed though, babe. Don’t you remember our movie night when I broke my foot?”
Tom looked off and smile when the memory came back to him.
“You’re right, love. I carried you upstairs so you could soak in my bathtub then we fell asleep in my bed watching movies.”
“That was one of my favorites nights on the trip. It was the only time I saw you rest and relax. You fell asleep curled up against my side as I played with your hair. It was adorable.”
He came and wrapped his arms around you and held you against his chest.
“I wish I had made a move long ago so I had more memories of you in this room, baby.”
Just as he went in for a kiss, the doorbell rang downstairs, causing you to laugh.
“Dinner is served, my love.”
After enjoying the pizza at the coffee table, Tom connected his phone to the speaker system in the living room and played all your favorite songs as the two of you danced for hours. After one more slow song with the lights dimmed, the two of you said goodbye to the home and made your way back to the hotel.
Tom was snapped from his thoughts as the builder parked next to the ranch truck. During the meeting, Luke’s texts and calls continued to come through. It was nearing 1am in London. The man was certainly persistent. The final text he sent had Tom slightly nervous.
You left me no choice. Sorry, mate.
His phone was very silent for the next few minutes until your ringtone began to play. Excusing himself, he answered it and stepped away. After getting the cold shoulder from you for two days, he didn’t know if it was a good thing you were calling.
“Hi, baby.”
The coldness of your voice send a chill down his spine. No greeting. Just straight to the point. Not a good sign.
“Where are you?”
“Uh… at the house meeting with the builder, love. Is everything alright?”
He could hear a lot of movement around you that he couldn’t make out. You were certainly more focused on your task than speaking to him.
“Meeting’s over, Hiddleston. Back to the house. Now. We need to talk.”
The phone beeped as you ended the call without another word. He tried to hide his panic as he quickly apologized and wrapped things up with the gentleman in what was supposed to be the kitchen to your new home.
The entire drive down the hill, Tom prepared himself for the worst. He analyzed every interaction over the last few months. After leaving the house behind, the last few months had been a pendulum of good days and bad days. One minute you seemed happy with him and just as he got comfortable again, you were cold and distant. He couldn’t do anything right and seemed to be the source of your anger. He had spent more nights on the couch than he would have liked before deciding to purchase furniture for the guest room across the hall from the master bedroom. Sadly, he even had a few changes of clothes tucked away in the dresser for the particularly bad nights.
After putting the truck in park and killing the engine, he wiped the tears that had begun to fall. His mind went to a dark place as he imagined what was waiting for him inside. Nightmares of calling and cancelling with vendors and guests just four days out from the wedding flashed across his thoughts. Was this the time you walked away? Would you tell him you had fallen out of love with him? Would you ask him to leave your mother’s house? How could he fight for someone that didn’t want to be fought over?
No longer able to put it off any longer, he stepped out of the truck and slowly made his way inside. He spotted Catherine sitting at the kitchen table with a tired look on her face. Without a word, she looked at him and pointed to the stairs. That’s when he heard the heavy footsteps above him and a drawer on the dresser slam shut, causing him to jump. Giving her a nod, he took a deep breath and pulled together the last bit of courage he had and made his way up the stairs. Just as he reached the top, another drawer slammed shut. Not bothering to knock, he slowly pushed the door open to find your suitcase open on the bed with various items scattered across the bed. He had to fight back the urge to vomit as his stomach formed a tight knot.
“Darling?”
You appeared from the closet and glared at him as you threw a dress and a garment bag down next to the half-packed suitcase.
“Please don’t do this, baby. Don’t leave me, again. Can we please talk this out?”
He watched as you stopped and sighed with your back to him.
“I’m not leaving you, Thomas. We’re both going.”
Turning and noticing the panic and tears in his eyes, you tried to put your anger aside for a minute to calmed him down.
“Sit down.”
Hesitating with a confused look, he finally moved when you crossed your arms and pointed to the bed beside you.
“I planned to talk it out from the plane, but it looks like we’re doing this now. I owe you an apology, babe. I know I haven’t been the easiest to deal with the last few months. I’ve taken my anger out on you and you never deserved that. I’ve been scared, Tom, but I never thought about leaving you. Is that really what you thought I was doing today? You thought I was walking away?”
His tears shifted into tears of relief as he tried to control his breathing. Finally finding his voice, he tried to read your expression.
“You’ve been so distant, love. You quit talking to me. You shut me out. When I snapped at you, I watched you close yourself off completely. I thought you had changed your mind about marrying me, Y/N.”
Comforting him in the best way you knew how in the moment, you lifted his chin to look up at you as you stepped in front of him beside the bed. When you kissed him, you both put everything into the single passionate gesture.
“I’m right here, Hollywood. I’m not going anywhere. I just lost myself for a little while, but Dr. Ryan smacked some sense into me today.”
“Open and upfront…”
You sat down on the bed beside him with your back against the headboard.
“I see she gave you the same speech this morning. Apparently our truthful and honest was a great start, but works to end a fight, not prevent one from starting. We both tend to hold back from having tough conversations. Who would have guessed, right?”
He gave you a slight smile as he took your hand in his, needing the physical connection with you. Knowing he needed to understand, you started first.
“Open and upfront, I’ve been scared and taking my anger out on you because you were the closest thing I have that reminds me of the safety I had with my dad. I’m angry at him that he isn’t here. I’m angry at the cancer that took him from me. I’m angry that I have to get married without him and have babies without him. You asked me what I wanted from you and I’ve been quiet because I don’t have an answer for you. What I want, you can’t give me, babe, because I want him. I don’t know how to do this without him. Dr. Ryan has helped me see that I haven’t been running. I’ve been searching for the safety I had with him. Daddy knew me better than I knew myself. He kept me grounded and sane. He was my anchor and without him I’ve just been drifting through life… until I found you Thomas William. I think that’s what drew me to you. It’s why you feel like home to me. The last few months I have been wanting him without realizing that what I needed was right in front of me. I’m sorry I made you think that I was leaving. I made my decision last summer when I came back. I chose a life with you and that hasn’t changed.”
Knowing it was his turn to say the difficult things he had been thinking about all day, he took both of your hands into his and took a deep breath.
“Open and upfront, I’ve been scared too, my love. I’ve been scared that I would say the wrong thing or do something to hurt you and you would leave again. I neglected you and failed to put you first Oscar’s weekend and I lost your heart and had to spent years loving you as your best friend without being allowed to call you mine. I chose my pride instead of fighting for you causing you months of pain and suffering before losing you from my life completely. Darling, I am terrified that I will make a wrong move and be forced to watch you walk away again, except I will have to spend the rest of my life without you next time. Every time you were angry with me without letting me fix it or pushed me away, I held my breath waiting for the final blow. Each time I slept in the guest room, I awoke with the slightest noise in case it was you leaving while I was asleep again. I became familiar with every single creak and groan that house makes. I know the sound of the neighbor’s car doors. I know the floorboard that squeaks in our bedroom between your side of the bed and the bathroom. I know how often you toss and turn in bed when you’re restless. After working with Dr. Ryan, I have come to realize that I have held on to the trauma of losing you because of the guilt that I feel for hurting you. I hold onto it as a way to punish myself for the pain I’ve caused you. You have never needed saving, Georgia. You have always been the strongest person I know, and it scares me because while I know you love me, I also know that you don’t need me, baby. When you aren’t around, I feel heavy and can’t breathe. Since the day you walked into my life, you have been my oxygen. The times we have been apart, I can’t function. I don’t know to live without you anymore. I don’t know how I did it for 32 years to be quite honest. While that may be the case for me, the times we have been apart, you have lived your life. You have moved on without me when you chose to. Last year when you made the decision to walk away from me… you thrived. You were no longer suffocated and you traveled the world. You went on adventures and sought out beauty in the world while I drank myself to sleep in your bedroom floor every single night. It may hurt, but you survive just fine without me, my love. You may have chosen to live your life with me, but I’ve caused you to change your mind in the past. In order to be open and upfront with you, sweetheart, I must tell you that I constantly live in fear that today is the day I will no longer be blessed to have you in my life.”
You were speechless. You had never seen him so vulnerable and broken. Making sure to get your point across, you held his face in your hands and placed yours directly in front of his.
“Thomas William Hiddleston, just because I hide my pain, does not mean I do not need you. You acknowledge your emotions in ways that I never have. I do not thrive without you. I hide. I put up a front to pretend I’m fine. I may have forced myself to move on, but I was simply putting my life on pause and living each day on the surface. While my mother can see past the mask I wear, you are the only person who has ever had the privilege of being let inside. Babe, you know my thoughts and emotions with a single look. You are the only person I am truly vulnerable with. I don’t thrive without you, I thrive because of you. You’re the stronger one. Even when you’re hurt and in pain, you still feel. You feel it all, babe. That’s strength to me. I shut everything out. I need you to truly live and be free. I need you to be myself and open myself up to life and all it has to offer me. I need your light to keep me from hiding in the darkness. That is why I need you to fly to L.A. tonight and take this audition.”
In his relief, he had honestly forgotten about the suitcase you had been packing.
“That’s what this was about, darling? The stupid audition?”
Luke’s text. That’s what he was apologizing for. He had called you to force his hand. Just before you went to speak, he continued.
“I told him that I’m not going. I don’t care that they are asking for me personally. The last few months have just solidified my decision to quit acting, my love. I will never choose work over you ever again. You are my priority now. I won’t risk losing you over some role that they can just give to the next guy.”
Your expression shifted and he saw it coming. The anger returned and you stood to pace the room as you unleashed.
“Are you kidding me? Just some role? Are you really that stupid to think that I would just sit back and let you pass this up because you’re afraid? Thomas William, listen to me and listen to me good. I know I told you that I didn’t fit into your world, but I was wrong. The movie premiere showed me that. The issue was never fitting into your world, the issue was going through your world alone. Until that night, I had never felt protected. When you made me feel important, I felt guided and safe. You never had to choose between me and acting. I just needed you to choose where I fit in your life. I either needed to be completely removed from the spotlight or protected from it. You always tried to make me stand beside you as an equal in your fame and fortune and I’m never going to be that for you. I don’t have the same experience or the same status that you and Ben, Chris, Rob, Scar, and everyone else have, babe. I never had a problem with you being in front of the world. I just needed to be able to support you in my own way and be able to live a normal life without your work taking over. I need it to be your job, not your life, sweetheart. It’s your calling and I’ve seen how much happiness it brings you. I don’t want you to wake up one day and resent me for giving this up. What kind of wife would I be to you if I let you pass up your one chance? They won’t offer it to you again, baby.”
“If you are sure you want me to continue acting, that is something we can discuss, but we are getting married in four days, Georgia. We are not flying out to L.A. for an audition. Work can at least wait until after the wedding.”
The look of confusion morphed into frustration as your eyes narrowed and your voice lowered.
“You didn’t read the script, did you? I bet it’s still in the damn box too! That’s why you’re so calm about this… where is it Thomas? Where’s the fucking script?!”
Rolling his eyes, he knew you weren’t going to drop this until your point was made.
“Sitting on my desk in London where I left it. Why are you so bloody set on this?”
A growl escaped as you clenched your fists and fought back the scream that tried to escape.
“I could just strangle you sometimes, Thomas! Tablet. Where is it?”
With a finger, he pointed at his carry on bag in the chair across the room. He watched your back as you retrieved the device and logged into the secure portal used to send files back and forth for work.
“Good thing Luke always uploads your documents to the cloud then.”
You forcefully pressed the tablet into his chest when you found what you were looking for and crossed your arms without removing the glare from your eyes. When he pulled the device back to read it, his eyes skimmed the cover sheet. It contained the name of the film and the list of the directors and producers attached to the projects. As he glanced over the usual information, you carefully watched his eyes scan the screen until they double backed over one line in particular and he went extremely pale. His voice was shaky as he softly read the words aloud as if he wasn’t sure they were truly there.
“T-Tom Hiddleston reading for the role of J-James Bond?”
Your eyes had glistened over as you watched all the emotions pass through him.
“H-how? This can’t be right. Surely, this must be a mistake. Luke said they asked for me. How is this possible?”
He nervously licked his lips and stared at the screen. The movement made it impossible to focus on the words until he realized his hands were shaking.
“When you refused to hear him out, Luke knew to call me to talk some sense into you. Daniel Craig’s contract ended and the team decided they want you to replace him in the franchise. It’s real, Tom.”
When he still hadn’t moved, you knelt down in front of him and pulled the device from his hands to force him to look at you.
“Hey… Hollywood, focus on me. Breathe for me.”
When he finally let go of the breath he had been holding in, you smiled at him and stroked his cheek.
“I love you and I will be with you every step of the way. Now we need to finish packing, babe. We have a flight to catch.”
[ tw: mentions of blood, fight, suggestive language, cheesy pickup lines from the god of mischief ]
a/n: Tony is like a father figure here btw.
Stark Enterprises found itself under attack yet again.
It was right in the middle of a meeting, so atleast most of the avengers were present.
“You can’t just throw your knives, you’ll run out of weapons!” Nat yelled, blocking one of the intruders by kicking its chest.
“IT’S A TUESDAY, I WASN’T PREPARED FOR GIANT ANT-ALIENS!” you shrieked, throwing the last of your daggers at the creature who was closing in on you. It planted itself in one of its eyes, automatically disintegrating its body to dust.
More of them were now circling, obviously sensing your vulnerability.
But when one opened its mouth, only a scream came out. The insects before you faded away into green dust, and there stood Loki with a smug smile.
“Always have to have a dramatic entrance, don’t you?” you asked, rolling your eyes.
SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA - DECEMBER 07: 2021 PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS -- Pictured: Tom Hiddleston accepts The Male TV Star of 2021 award for ‘Loki’ on stage during the 2021 People's Choice Awards held at Barker Hangar on December 7, 2021 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Alberto Rodriguez/E! Entertainment/NBCUniversal/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
Tom Hiddleston guest stars in the Birmingham Rep's revival of "The Play What I Wrote" at the Birmingham Repertory Theatre on December 6, 2021 in Birmingham, England.
More hilarious shots of the play at Gettyimages >>
28 - One person tracing the other’s lips with a fingertip until they can’t resist any longer, tilting their chin towards them for a kiss.
Lokisses Mini-Imagine Series
Lokisses Masterlist
THIS ONE IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT! I WROTE IT FROM LOKI'S POV! ENJOY!
"Y/N! Watch out!" I yelled but I was too late. The monster sent out his concussive blast. Directly at Y/N. Even though I didn't get hit myself, all the sounds around me dissolved into nothingness. My vision focused on her as she fell to the ground. I ran to her side, panic seizing my chest. I could feel my throat constricting, my breaths becoming labored. The last thing I heard was Thor calling out to me before I collapsed alongside her.
Beep beep beep
"By Odin's beard shut that off!" I yelled, waking up slowly. Of course I would end up in the infirmary in the Tower. Looking to my right I saw the infernal machine and immediately cast a silencing spell over it. It didn't seem to work, however, as I still heard a beeping. Looking to my left I saw Y/N laying in the next bed. I gasped, standing up quickly. "Y/N!" I whispered, brushing my hand over her cheek softly.
"She's likely going to be out for another couple days," Banner said walking up behind me. He gave me a tight smile and patted my shoulder. "Come on, you should sit down. I may not be the medical doctor but I hang out around here enough to know."
"I need to be with her," I countered, slipping my hand into hers, even if she couldn't hold mine. "She's my best friend."
"Loki," Bruce whispered. I shook my head and he sighed. "Fine, you have two options. Sit down and let me get the real doctor to check you out. Or the other guy carries you out of here." That drew a small smile from me and I nodded.
"Alright," I relented. I let Bruce lead me out to another room so the doctor could check me out. As I expected, I received a clean bill of health. Asgardians heal much faster. I knew Y/N had the ability to heal herself and others but I was still worried. She was still a Midgardian behind her powers. They were able to arrange for me to stay in her room with her, well, after I threatened to stab one or two people. I didn't mean it really, but I couldn't bear to be away from her.
A few days later, as I sat next to her bed holding her hand, I felt something. Her hand twitched ever so slightly but I noticed. "Y/N?" I whispered hesitantly. She hand twitched again, although this time more purposefully. "Y/N!" I cried, overjoyed at the prospect of her waking. Her eyes fluttered open and she screamed.
"Get out!" She yelled, screaming again at an almost blood curdling level. I backed away, shocked. The doctor and nurses ran in, one pushing me out of the room.
Hours later, I sat outside her room in the hallway. I could still hear her crying, sobbing, and my heart ached. They didn't let me in. I didn't fight it, knowing something terrible must have happened to her. I cared too much about her than to hurt her further.
"Loki?" A voice said, walking up to me. I looked up and saw Bruce standing there.
"What do you want?" I snapped. Bruce gave me a tight smile and slid to the floor next to me, leaning back on the wall.
"You know I don't like you," He said. I chuckled dryly and shook my head.
"Oh really? I couldn't tell."
"But I know the face of someone in love." That surprised me.
"What do you mean?" I replied coolly.
"Oh come on Loki! You may be the God of Lies but you can't fool yourself," He exclaimed. "You love her. Otherwise you wouldn't have fainted when she got knocked out, wouldn't have slept in a terribly uncomfortable hospital bed, And wouldn't have let the doctors and nurses keep you out of her room."
"Alright," I hissed. "So what? She doesn't love me back!"
"She doesn't? Did you even see her on the mission?"
"Of course I did!"
"Well maybe you saw her a little too much and didn't see who you were fighting! She distracted the monster, Loki! She drew him away from you!" He yelled, jabbing a finger into my chest. I stared at him, speechless. Leaning his head back against the wall he took a few calming breaths. "Just talk to her, Loki."
"I-" My words caught in my throat. "I don't think she remembers me." Bruce looked at me oddly. "When she opened her eyes, she screamed. I was the only possible thing in our line of sight. I think-" I paused, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I think she remembers who I used to be."
"They didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?" I replied. Bruce paled visibly and shook his head.
"She can't see, Loki. She lost her sight."
I froze for a moment before leaping up and running into the room. "Y/N," I breathed, stopping just inside the room. The truth hit me hard as she stared right through me with a completely unfocused gaze.
“Please leave,” She says. The doctor looks at me and nods toward the door.
“Alright,” I relent, turning to leave.
“No!” She exclaims. “I meant you, doctor. I’d like to speak to Loki alone.”
“Press the call button if you need me,” He says. Once the doctor is gone, I walk up next to her bed.
“Loki?” She asks, reading her hand out towards me. I take her hand and squeeze it gently. She grips mine with both her hands tightly. I see tears forming in her eyes and feel them in my own. “Oh, Loki!” She cries, pressing my hand to her cheek. I sit on the edge of the bed and pull her close, wrapping my arms around her.
“I’m here, darling, I’m here,” I assure her. A while later she finally stopped crying. I thought perhaps she’d fallen asleep but suddenly she speaks.
“They say it may not be permanent.”
“That’s good,” I replied.
“But it might be,” She whispers. “I can’t see anyone, Loki. I can’t see my friends. I can’t see the sunrise or set. I can’t see your little fireworks and I can’t see you!”
“Yes you can, darling.”
“How?” She yells.
“Shhh, love, let me show you.” She nods and I take her hand, raising it to my face. “See me with your finger, see my fireworks with your ears, see the sunrise through your skin,” I whisper. Her fingertips dance across my face. Cheekbones, eyes, nose, lips.”
“I think-” She starts hesitantly. “I think I can,” She smiles. “Maybe. If you help me.”
“I would be happy to, my dear,” I reply. Her face falls slightly, dropping her hands to her lap. “What’s wrong? What happened? What did I do?”
“Nothing, Loki. Absolutely nothing.” I frown, staring at her intently.
"May I feel?" I asked.
"I'll squeal," She teased.
"Just once?" I conceded.
"It's fun," She shrugged.
I leaned forward slightly, I traced my fingertips over her face, lingering on her lips. Her breath hitches and I decide to take the leap. I hook my finger under her chin and tilt her towards me. When our lips finally meet, I feel as though I've died and gone to Valhalla. Her hands fly up to cup my face, one snaking higher and tangling in my hair. I pull her close, one arm around her waist and the other still resting on her cheek. When we finally pull away, I rest my forehead against hers.
"I love you, Y/N," I whisper. "I'm sorry I never told you sooner."
"It's okay," She replied. "For the record-" She kissed me again, giggling lightly as she pulled away. "I love you too." I laughed and hugged her tightly. "Thank you for being here for me."
"I'll always be there for you, my love. Come what may."
Every time I play Loki, and this is a source of constant surprise and delight to me, is that people love him so much. And I think it’s because people can relate to him in some way. He’s an outsider. He’s a misfit. — Tom Hiddleston
