leif🩸 @goldenleif - Tumblr Blog

so far one of my favorite hannibal-isms is that all of the literal sex scenes are shot like we're watching them from inside a kaleidoscope that's inside a glass bottle that's at the bottom of a river but half the scenes of hannibal and will maiming each other in some capacity are just shot like sex scenes

soulren

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story

“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do

creature-adjacent

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

questionablepastries

gloomsday

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

tetitasdelimon

top 5 horror movies

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

-the concept of working my whole life

littlestpersimmon

cave angel fish

somekindofstray44

testosterone is fucking awesome. wdym im hard AND wet rn. i can hump things like a mutt til my cunt gets wet n then use that as lube to jerk off my dick ??? transsexuals are angels.

martyfive

this one is for Juniper Blessing.

this isn’t about mermay, really. you can grab the free png on my patreon. print it out if you can and remember her name.

nyanbinary-perineum

Perky stiff nipples under a thin shirt was a gift provided by the universe to guide us all through the darkest days

nyanbinary-perineum

casual sex always sounds fun but toss some free use in there and I'm frothing at the mouth tbh.

you're telling me I can have my buddy over, whom I care about more than the amount of stars in the sky, and then just dump a few loads like they are a cute little fuck toy just because I felt like it?

help clean up and get some snacks and watch something fun or spend far too long talking about a random game one of us found?

gripping their head for another load or two??

kissing and getting back to our chat???

fucking hell that's pawesome. sadly. not the case.

harnessedhorsey

There was a strong urge to draw right before bed. So, here’s a sketch appreciation of trans cocks <3

skyeedom

“Good boy” he said.

Inspired by this tweet Or a screenshot after the cut (for those who don’t have x :))

usermasked

𝗆𝗂𝗄𝖾𝖾𝖼𝗋𝗈𝗐

the-muppet-joker

Joker held out his hands, stretching out the palms so the holes were clearly visable. "Do you wanna know how I got these scars?" He chuckled gently.

Kermit trembled at the sight of his lover, who had been crucified in front of him only three days prior. "Y-you're dead... I saw you..." his voice quivered with emotion. The honey of his devotion had already crystallized painfully into grief, choking him with a sweetness he could no longer stand the taste of. He could not bear to feel hopeful. He had already mourned. It was too much. He collapsed to the ground.

"Kermit... it's really me," Joker chuckled reassuringly. "Here... if you still don't believe....... put your fingers here, into my hole..............."

Kermit gasped. "You're... h-h-hole?!" He gasped.

Joker chuckled with arousal. "No, not that kind of hole. Not yet at least, my dear. I meant my Jesus Holes," again, he displayed his hands, and his feet this time too, which sure enough, had big Jesus Holes in them from where the nails had been driven through his flesh, holding him up on the cross.

Kermit placed his hands into the Joker's wounds... it was a impossible. It was a miracle. How he had survived the cross? Kermit looked up at Joker with shining eyes, hands still in his Jesus Holes. His own Muppet Hole was fluttering with rapture. "My Lord..." he breathed.

Joker chuckled radiantly. "Yes, Kermit. But not to you. I am not your Lord." He chuckle"I am your Clown Husband."

They embraced, Kermit sobbing and kissing him all over. It was crazy. Even Joker Christ was getting a little teary eyed.

Then they got out the

Bible.

goldenleif

This was not an option on career day at school