So my ex has shared a video compilation of videos collected during a time that I was trying to get him to discuss my pregnancy. He continuously ignored texts messages, phone calls, and emails for months. My friends had to step in and speak to him because he was acting as though he shared no responsibility in me getting pregnant. I haven’t told y’all any lies, I’ve said it very clearly: in situations that are overwhelmingly emotional (including but not limited to being two months pregnant and having the father of that child continuously avoid and disrespect you) is one them.
I’m not saying that my attempts to talk were wrong because they weren’t, the way I went about them were wrong looking back, but I was frustrated and he knew what he was doing…
I should have gone directly to court and had them address the situation formally because the stress of attempting to speak to him was visible on my face, not only that, but my face was literally swollen in one of the clips he’s shared wearing I’m wearing the blue jean jacket so I’m honestly shocked he shared it and have recorded the entirety of the video myself for evidence in court.
I just want to address the things he’s said, in order, with proof:
- This has already been handled legally. People in the law knows what she’s doing. She’s already being investigated.
I wasn’t being investigated, Daunte Dier was:
- I want to get away from this woman. These videos are a way she can be attached to me forever.
I am no where near him and he attempted to confirm my address yesterday to no avail– I am no longer living in the same place for safety reasons.
- We’ve lost 4 children in one year. She has an invisible undetectable disease called endometriosis which makes her lose children. She’s lied to me about her pregnancy status, and even (told me) she told doctors lie to me about it. I’m not even sure about the truth, but I don’t even care to know.
We have not lost four children in one year. This is a blatant fucking lie.
I do however have endometriosis and it is detectable by surgical procedure, which I had in December of 2014.
I did not “lie about my pregnancy status”, I took my pregnancy tests right in front of him, bought them from the store he requested me to and took them in a public place like I was being drug tested while he held on to my purse and other belongings like my coat and jacket:
- I’m scared to defend myself and tell the truth because she’s not stable. Dude. I’ve been chased for MILES on foot. MILES. LIke, 5 miles at a time to get me to be with/talk to her.
In fairness to him, I am not stable, I am pissed the fuck off that he refuses to see the role he has played in this situation and is trying to play the victim. We did chase EACH OTHER around. He came to my house banging on the door at 2 am one night begging to be let in after I’d kicked him out “because it was cold outside” and he “wanted to talk”. He called me from the police station to fuck with my head even AFTER he had been formerly arrested for spousal abuse– I have audio evidence of this and will be posting it shortly. I will not be made out to be a liar.
Not only that, but since getting out of this relationship when he was arrested on 10/23/2016– I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, so I guess he’s referencing that as well.
- She’s been threatening this scandal since the October 2015.
He’s been a scandalous, lying, cheating ass nigga since October 2015. He considers a “threat of a scandal” to be saying “if other people knew you were like this, I doubt they’d ever support you because cheating on someone, giving them an sti, and being abusive is gross and goes against most peoples moral compass”
- She pulled up to my house to fight 25-30 times. I’ve never interacted with the police before her, but with her I’ve had 8 police interactions.
Never pulled up to fight, pulled up to talk about the fact that I was PREGNANT with his CHILD because he wouldn’t answer phone calls or text messages, this is why he has so many unanswered calls from me when he shares screenshots.
- Police urged me to get a restraining order, then urged me not to when they saw how she was “playing the game”.
Police got a restraining order on my behalf because he was calling me from the prison cell even after he had been taken away for hitting & kicking me. I will post audio evidence of this since my integrity is being challenged. I would never lie about something so serious and that could negatively affect so many victims of domestic violence who are already met with enough disbelief and shame.
- There’s always something new keeping me there. I’ve finally physically gotten away in the last few months, but the internet is the latest form of the stalking.
“Finally physically gotten away” implies that he wasn’t begging to stay at my home the day and for months prior to that before he was arrested for beating me up and taken to jail. I will post audio evidence of this, again, because now my integrity is being questioned and I have no other choice, which is why I felt it necessary (and hopefully now you can see why) to record him in the first place.
Nothing to address here, I’m sure he does want to get away from his actions.
- This person recorded me confiding to her, then sends the audio to me, telling me to speak to her if I don’t want it leaked.
I recorded him in an effort to prove that he was lying and manipulating me and several others, and to prove he had been physically abusing me because I knew the videos he had from when I was pregnant would easily be used as a way to make me out to be the abuser when I was simply reacting to the physical and emotional abuse I had been enduring for months prior. I don’t even want to bring pregnancy hormones into this, so I won’t.
- I’ve filed a restraining order, but she’s going to direct more people at me to label me an abuser to continue the abuse through others.
He filed a restraining order yesterday when I told him I was not going to simply fall silent about this because he didn’t want his reputation ruined. He admitted via text message that he did it to stop me from outing him last night:
- We both come from abusive homes. I really wanted to talk about this maturely and honestly. Dude, I’m not innocent, but this story she’s made up is just so full of lies I don’t know what to do. I can’t agree to her story because it’s not true, but I’m not innocent, but I’m not guilty in the ways that she’s saying. I don’t want to say anything that will be screenshotted and used against me. Seriously, in working on the internet for 8 years, why would I just be abusive to a black feminist blogger with 20k followers?
^He is not innocent, his father did abuse his mother for several years, I have not told any lies and I would like him to point out what I’ve said that has been untrue. He was abusive because he thought he could get away with it.
- These internet posts are retaliation for the restraining order.
They are not, I told him prior to the restraining order and thereafter that I would not be silenced. You’re an actor, and you are apparently a very good one.
- To anyone in an abusive situation, DO NOT EXPOSE YOUR ABUSER. It’s a great way to garner support publicly, but, real abusers are only going to get angrier and keep coming after you when you try to leave.
^ To anyone in an abusive relationship, get away, get to safety, and do whatever the fuck you want to do that keeps you safe and free from abuse or harm.
This is NOT what an abusive situation looks like.
- I want to heal. I want her to heal. None of this leads to healing. The only reason I’m posting this is to let people see another side so they’ll stop sending me death threats. And I just came to realize I need to love myself, and protect my name and my future. And not just let people hurt me like this. - I don’t want this to be public. My accuser does.
I want the fact that he is physically abusive to be public because he is a social media personality who has used his following and manipulated his following in a way that I do not agree with when he is doing what he is doing (and has been doing) behind closed doors for two years. This is not new. He has been abusive for a very long time. I will be posting proof of that because I will not allow myself to be lied on and for my low moments to be manipulated in an effort to convince people that I am the abuser in this situation.
Sidenote, pulled directly from loveisrespect.org:
“If you’ve ever yelled at your partner, participated in an intense argument or used physical force, there are certain instances where this would not be considered abusive.
Enduring abuse over time can lead to broken down self-esteem, feelings of low self-worth and intense emotional stress or even PTSD. While it’s never healthy to yell back at a partner or be violent with them, if you are experiencing abuse you might have used one of these strategies when you felt your safety was at risk or you were trying to re-establish your independence in the relationship. Self-defense is not abuse and identifying it as such can increase any fear you already feel in the situation. Everyone has the right to defend their safety both emotionally and physically.
Admitting to unhealthy or abusive behavior, committing to stopping, reaching out for help and asking about the process of change are things that abusive people rarely do. If you’re reading this post because you’re thinking about how you can change your own behaviors and create a healthier relationship, ask yourself: Is this something you could see your partner doing?”
