Astarion probably cried a bit the first time he was actually intimate with Tav. Before killing Cazador, even when he finally realizes his feelings, he still finds himself performing. He doesn't want to disappoint his new, true, real love. He's still caught up in the façade, as surely that's the man that Tav fell for.
When they selflessly barged into battle when Cazador had him trapped in the ritual; when he finally killed the man that had been torturing him for years, he sobbed. Right there on the floor, in front of his beloved Tav. He was most certainly embarrassed, having a hard time making eye contact at camp afterwards.
When Tav came to his tent that night, he put on his usual show, saying that such a freeing battle really "whet his appetite". He underestimated how much Tav can see. The look in his eyes wasn't one of depraved, carnal lust, but one that said "please, hold me"
So they did. They laid down with Astarion, and just held him. His head to their chest, where their heartbeat echoed in his ears, their fingers gently combing through his hair, and a soft kiss to his temple to top it off.
It's over.
His shoulders start shaking, his sobs muted in Tav's chest. Tav doesn't say much, a "it's alright, it's over" and an "I'm here, 'Star". They knew he needed it. 200 years of pent up emotions and swallowed sorrows unleashed now that the flood gates were open.
It felt...good. To cry. To be held so tenderly, so intimately. To be loved.
















