Fidget

My recovery and my job the two most important things in my life 4/15/2010

[goosebg]

5 years sober

I don't know what else to say I was five years sober on the 15th. It's been along really good ride and I hope more people will get there. Have fun everyone and keep it up

[stories-yet-to-be-written]

Sometimes Becoming Drug Free Has Less To Do With Addiction And More To Do With Sanity

[meladoodle]

hey… no offense.. but do you want to hold hands

[goosebg]

And spoon.... I really just miss holding someone I care for in my arms al night....

[purplebuddhaproject]

You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.

Tom Hiddleston (via purplebuddhaproject)

[emmy4keri]

[moonlightdrivers]

Last night I walked out in the middle of a late night meeting because I had already been to one earlier and was getting really tired - a man who we have had problems with before followed me out and aggressively followed me to my car trying to give me his business card or something. Thankfully a couple of the older men in the room noticed it right when he got up and followed him out, too. But goodness gracious. I just don’t understand. I have had more problems being a young woman in AA than I ever did in the bars late at night. 

[goosebg]

It's not just the women, there were a few married women who were sober for a good amount of time chasing after me when I had less than a year and was married. I wasn't physically afraid but it mentally fucked me up about a in the beginning. Thankfully I stayed.

[sandandglass]

[insane-doctor-deactivated202103]

[goosebg]

Me during my alcoholism. I can remember watching intervention with my ex wife, drunk, praying that the people would come crashing through the door. All I wanted to do was die, but I just needed help or a start to get sober.

[fluorideuraniumcarbonpotassium]

I wish people could just say how they feel like ‘Hey I really don’t like when you do that to me’ or ‘Hey I’m in love with you’ or ‘Hi I really miss you and I think about you all the time’ without sounding desperate. Why can’t everyone be painfully honest and just save people the trouble.

Unknown  (via thatkindofwoman)

this is why i am the way i am, JUST SO EVERYONE IS CLEAR OKAY

(via bornthisgayyy)

I would love to be this way.

(via rainidontmindbutillfollowthesun)

So true

[hahayeahiamthefword]

[burningbrighterstill]

PREACH

[onyx-jaeger-deactivated20160619]

SIGNAL BOOSTING THIS SHIT

[goosebg]

Cute little animated short

[goosebg]

Well I certainly made a change

I gave my notice, my last day is November 28th, I got I home equity line of credit because I needed money to finish my house, and I am visiting my friend in Durango, CO for a month in March and then moving to maine, the York area, some time in April. I haven't taken this decision lightly, I should make a lot of money when I sell my house. It was a foreclosure that I got way below market value. I have spent the last two years replacing almost everything in the house. I have a really good job opportunity in Maine but I will get paid considerably less. I can't wait to drive cross country, I'm meeting my dad in North Dakota, which will be his 49th state, and I am going to try to stay for some time in Montana. I love the cold weather and most parts of the rural lifestyle, I know it will be a huge change from the suburban nj lifestyle I have grown up in but I feel like I am not really accepted here. I know that is part of my insecurity but I want to get remarried and I like a woman who is more outdoorsy, enjoys getting dirty, doesn't mind that I smoke and who can appreciate a person who works hard with their hands. I just hope I can find a good aa program in one of these little towns. It's gonna be a big change!

[goosebg]

I need change

I am completely afraid of going on the way I have for my whole life. I am 36 a workaholic who enjoys being a carpenter. I am sober for over 4 years,divorced, no kids, and with really only two friends but they are two best friends. I have lived in the same area my whole life and have traveled a lot but only as a teenager never as an adult. I have worked for my boss for 15 years and I feel like I will never be anything but a carpenter. I have not asked as much as I should have for a project manager job. I know I'm rambling a little but I feel like if I don't make a change soon, and a drastic one, this will be my life forever and that is not what I have ever wanted. I've been thinking for awhile about leaving my job, I might just have to. I'm sober now and I should be enjoying things more.

[goosebg]

I feel like comedians are on the for front of the 1st amendment issue. Look at all the comedians who have gotten in trouble lately for something that they have joked about. Albeit some of their jokes might hit too close to home and you may not find them funny and some of their jokes may include taboo subjects that aren't very funny if they happened to you in real life. Just because you don't like what someone jokes about or you find it hurtful don't take away their ability to make a living and have other people enjoy them. Change the channel or the station it's that easy. Just remember the old adage about sticks and stones. Oh and stop being a pussy.

[forgottengenres]

The only time the press doesn’t sensationalize information is when one of their own is kidnapped. Interesting how they show restraint then.

Jim Norton (via thatlitsite)

[goosebg]

Reliving my life

Fuck what a tough day. I just had to meet up with my brother in laws family and tell them that they can't talk to their sibling/son anymore unless he is asking for help with his alcoholism. I also saw the devastation of what an alcoholic can do to a family. It's not as hard to see when it is someone else's family but when it's yours it's a lot tougher. All the empty cheap rum bottles like my vodka ones hidden. Jugs of piss (I didn't do a lot of this stuff in my drinking days but it brought me back to that I could have or can still be if I don't stay sober) holes in the walls, the mess and chaos. The family calling up a locksmith to get the locks changed, the police at their house at 530 this morning. My brother in laws mom just looking absolutely devastated, me telling my story of my sobriety and alcoholic life. That sad look in someone's eyes when you tell them that someone they love is hurting and you have to let them get deeper into their bottom before they can help them selves. It's so tough because not only are you looking at a family in pain but you are reliving the pain and anguish you caused your own family. I kept only looking into the moms eyes and seeing my own moms just reliving that is painful and I can't stop thinking about the family and the help they need. All I could do is relate to them my story and hope with them that there loved one will get better before he gets sicker. I got them phone numbers of detoxes and rehabs and outpatients around here. I gave them the phone number of the man who got me into a detox. The guy doesn't want any help, he doesn't think he has a problem and he has a girlfriend that signs his bullshit, supports him financially and brings him booze. This family is going through hell and all I can say is let him get worse, don't let him in your house, don't talk to him and don't give him money. Let him live in a motel until his money runs out and then see what happens

[kiekstn]

[freydis-frostrose]

OMFG WHAT IS THIS FROM???? I can honestly see something like this happening in my house! 

[goosebg]

Hot wings and I mean HOT and contacts do not go together

[goosebg]

To end this weekend

It's been a pretty tough weekend tv broke yesterday and I spent way more than I wanted to on anew one. Dropped my iPad today and cracked the screen but it's not too bad and it is four years old. Saw my ex wife with her boyfriend at a party. My ex girlfriend was there also but we get along great. Everyone at the party was smashed when I got there but guess what I didn't drink. I have to look on the bright side I was cordial to my ex and her boyfriend, and a good friend of mine that knew that she was cheating and didn't tell me. There was no animosity and it actually seemed a lot more awkward to her and her bf than it did to me. I said hello to them and shook their hands and they didn't even say goodbye to me. The other great thing that happened was I got accepted for a best buy credit card. Now I know that may not seem like much but I am a homeowner, I got a mortgage, but I couldn't get a credit card because I had no credit rating. Because of my alcoholism my exwife had complete control of the bills. Everything was in her name. My truck, her car, our house, all of our credit cards, everything that could possibly give me a credit rating was in her name. I don't regret it bc any of those things in my name at that time would have been a catastrophe. But I have been trying for the last year and a half to get a credit card and I finally was able to get one. With all the stress in my life lately and there is more than just this, career change, trying to finish my house to sell it, new job starting up that will make my travel to and from work 2 hours longer with no extra pay. I don't drink, I just don't and it's been tough lately I really just want to sit back and relax and have a beer but I know I don't really want just a beer. I just don't want to think for a while and that means 100 proof vodka hidden in my garage a jug handle a night. I know it won't start that way but it will end that way. I'd give myself a month maybe less . So I go to meetings and don't drink that's it. I like to ramble a little