Go Team Vikings!

Allison and Tracy collect and share D-I-Y punk rock recipes for living well in a body/brain that's trying to destroy you.

[with-practice]

[deebott]

I’m cackling this is so fucking funny

[ahhthelegend]

I can’t

[impossiblejellyfishfart]

OMFG

This breed of sheep is the Fat Tailed Han. I’ve never seen them MOVE though

[sneakyfeets]

@lambylin

[goteamvikings]

I needed to laugh. I almost always need to laugh, so in case you did too, here you go,

[goteamvikings]

🔪 Moth Hiss Gristle 🎃 on Twitter

“today I learned that goats who won't stop head butting have to wear pool noodles and it feels like information I should share”

[andhumanslovedstories]

Any story claiming to be a deconstruction of fairy tales but has nothing to offer except new types of violence, more explicit sex, and a general attitude of “lol happy endings aren’t real” is like. such a cultural waste of time tbh

[shining-magically]

know what actually is a good deconstruction of a fairy tale? Shrek. It fucks up just about everything in a normal fairy tale and still manages to have a happy ending with a good message and never once has to be ‘gritty’ or ‘dark’. It’s actually really well done.

[dropofrum]

“The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist; a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain.”

- Ursula LeGuin, ‘The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas’

[rosalarian]

In dark times such as these, it is absolutely revolutionary to be happy.

[siquetumismo]

[thisappointment]

@pgfone

[stonebluerue]

@d20-darling everytime I imagine the south I think of this

[d20-darling-deactivated20181011]

I’m legitimately shocked that I’ve never seen this video before.

[goteamvikings]

What

[gallusrostromegalus]

Tonight’s dinner is a cheese and apple sampler with ice water because it’s hotter than Satan’s own asshole out here and the $4 and under cheese basket had good stuff. From the top- Irish cheddar and Pacific rose apple, aged goat cheese and ambrosia apple, young manchego and a granny Smith apple. Paired with ice water for me and Chardonnay for parents.

[thetravelingfryingpan]

when I eat a block of cheese for dinner it’s a depression meal

[gallusrostromegalus]

I mean my depression is pretty awful right now too, which is the other reason I didn’t feel like cooking.

But! An Apple is something you don’t have to cook either, and if it’s safe for you to handle knives, you can cut it up and go full Ratatouille on this bitch for not much more effort. Heck, if you’ve got the budget for it, go nuts and dry some balsalmic vinegar or chutney or Hot Sauce (really, fance cheese and hot sauce is a good combo.  Fance cheese, An Fruit and Hot Suace id GREAT).  If you’re a meat-eating person, cured meats also don’t need to be cooked and go great with this.

Humans have been doing this “I Don’t Feel Like Cooking” kind of meal forever, and if you wanna be real fancy, you can call it a charcuterie board* and serve it at parties and impress your friends and neighbors and maybe even your mother-in-law!

Also, you will have eaten An Fruit, for which you innards will be grateful.

For me, making “Basic Chore Of Shoving Calories Into An Unwilling Vessel” into “An Art Project I Can Show To Friends” helps motivate me to actually fucking eat something really well. If that feels like too many expectations, you can also turn food into “Flavor Science Expiriment” or “Using Up Comdiments Game” or “I Actually Have A Nice Thing, So I’m Going To Eat It While Watching Netflix In My Jammies Becuase Sometimes Ya Gotta Make It A Special Occasion” or whatever the fuck else weird justification/game/context helps you put calories in your foodhole.

Or just eat your block of cheese and fuck the haters because societal expectations are dumb and you’re a good person who is worth keeping alive and you go eat that cheese.

*Some of the europeans might have standards about what actually goes on a  charcuterie board, like actual charcuteries/certain types of cured meats, but this blog already subscribes to Radical Sandwich Anarchy so but whatever you damn want on your Summer Depression Food Board becuase the real important thing here is that you take care of yourself and if you can find a way to make eating fun again, that’s fucking awesome.

[simonalkenmayer]

Add some cured meat, nuts, bread, butter, and preserves and you have a true plowman’s board. It’s essentially what man ate for thousands of years.

Trust me. That’s not a depression meal. It’s a return to instinctual comfort.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Take the advice of your local cryptid and satisfy your inner omnivore primate and eat a bunch of uncooked goodies and go have an agricultural revolution or sit around admiring the scenery like we were meant to.

[deactivated-this-account-deacti]

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

[ruthfully]

Jill. Jill you are wonderful.

[draw-blog]

On Shopping While Fat 2: Son of Fat

[boumdraws]

I feel the same way. It’s amazing.

[goteamvikings]

Yaaaaaaaaasssssssss

[gif87a-com]

[louislumbarcurve]

[littlereddove]

I feel you should see this @swenmermaid @its-rowark

[goteamvikings]

I needed to see this just now. File under "why the internet exists" and "deities I do not believe in bless the internet."

[goteamvikings]

This Hotel's 'Crying Rooms' Are Perfect for When You Need a Good Sob

Specifically for stressed-out young women

So close, and yet so far.

[oliviergiroudd]

Laurent Koscielny, Mohamed Elneny and Olivier Giroud of Arsenal experience a Chinese Tea Ceremony at LvBo Lang Restaurant in Yuyuan Gardens on July 17, 2017 in Shanghai, China.

[goteamvikings]

I promise you, this is amazing. These dudes' confusion and discomfort is palpable, but they're trying SO HARD to be polite and not embarrass themselves and the guy on the right (Olivier Giroud) is like "but my good looks are usually enough to make up for my mistakes what nowwwwwww?" and the guy in the middle (Mohamed Elneny) is like "look, white boy, learn to behave when you're not the default human, it's a life skill" and anyway it combines soccer players and tea, which makes me super-happy.

[goteamvikings]

[goteamvikings]

From this photoset which I originally found via a reblog by yessikg (and I hope those URLs ping the authors of the posts I'm citing because seriously thank you both).

[positivedoodles]

[Drawing of a purple cup of tea next to a caption that says “Have a cup of tea because you’re talented, extraordinary, and amazing (and because tea is awesome.)”]

[goteamvikings]

WARNING THIS MIGHT GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD FOR DAYS I know it is in mine, but also that's not a bad thing.

Hamilton cast performs "My Shot" at White House

[goteamvikings]

Y’know what? I’m’a bring this back.

Starting with stuff mostly based on an email I sent you earlier today:

Reading this recipe made me super happy today. Which is good, because taking a baby to the NYC pride parade in a stroller is super stressful even when you get to watch said parade from the lobby of a swanky hotel because your friends are brilliant and one of them knows a bartender there. (Seriously, most civilized parade-viewing ever. Seats, air conditioning, bar snacks and rosé on ice. We may straight-up get a room at said hotel next year, possibly split with other parade-viewing friends, but maybe just for ourselves so we can take naps and not have to crush in and/or out. We are mostly recovered from the crush in and out now. Mostly.)

But: back to this amazing recipe. So good. Totally doing this once we've used up all the shitty little ice cream sandwiches that I love so very very much...

Love and I recognize that my taste is not always the greatest, 

-Tracy 

Brooks Headley's Ice Cream Sandwich by Jeff Gordinier 

Time: 10 minutes 

Yield: 4 servings 

INGREDIENTS 

2 slices white bread (preferably Pepperidge Farm) 

1 cup gelato or ice cream (of your preference, but the author suggests Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia), softened but not melting 

1 teaspoon unsalted butter 

Coarse sea salt 

Extra-virgin olive oil 

And but so the recipe is seriously to sandwich ice cream between slices of fried bread and I am SO. HERE. FOR. IT.

I am also here to post random stuff that makes me happy, just because I can. But right now, I’m going to bed.

[shedanceswithshoggoths-blog]

THIS IS THE BITTER COCKROACH PACT

Reblog to pledge that you’ll survive this bullshit out of pure fucking spite

[twloha]

Hello, I’m glad you exist. 

(Image via BuzzFeed)

[goteamvikings]

Hello indeed.