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@gothamnewsletter
Today we were informed that ICE entered Gotham City two weeks ago. Perhaps people did not realize since kidnapping random people and gunning downs are quite common here.
We only learned that now cause their supervisors contacted us saying that said ICE agents stopped contacting them two days in. They were not happy with out mayor's response which was:
"You do not kidnapp people in Gotham if you're not ready to get kidnapped back."
annual reminder that Gotham citizens like to use explosives instead of fireworks on new years so please be careful and remain in your houses.
There are reports of a figure with red headwear going around, usually landing ln the roof, and helping street children.
This made a lot of people argue whether the figure's identity is Red Hood or Santa Claus.
Some say Santa Claus is Hood's other alias but it remains a point of discussions.
Red Hood was seen going around with a baby carrier. It seems to be containing incredibly round plush version of himself.
The residents of Crime Alley when asked shrugged and said they have worse problems then a Crime Lord with psychotic delusions.
The opinions are quickly changing after the plush getting grazed in battle resulted in another duffle bag of heads.
Red Robin and Nightwing under Peta investigation after an unfortunate misunderstanding containing a penguin escaped from a Gotham Zoo. Nightwing comments:
'How was I supposed to know they meant an actual penguin?? How does even a penguin escape anything?! It doesn't have thumbs!'
Details will be shared shortly but for now we can confirm that the penguin named Jared is unharmed and back in his enclosure.
Poison Ivy strikes again this time against the vegans. She was seen shouting:
'What did it do to you people? It's innocent. You're always so brave when saying you'll eat the rich so where is this energy now?'
Most of the Gotham elite refused to comment but we did manage to get a direct quote from Mr. Wayne:
'Oh yes, she is really such a sweetheart. No one ate this ass in such a long time, I'm really getting lonely. Hey do you think it's because I'm getting old? Is my ass old now??'
A young girl was seen shouting repeatedly "riddle me the fuck this" while hitting The Riddler with a prosthetic leg after his latest breakout from Arkham Asylum. The report says she was successful in her attack and the criminal was apprehended and brought back to Arkham.
We would like to add on that the existing rumour saying that it was her own leg she lost to one of The Riddler's plots a few years earlier is false. In the interview she claims that she did not know who he was at the time of the attack and that her actions were purely because he "looked at her funny".
A young girl was seen shouting repeatedly "riddle me the fuck this" while hitting The Riddler with a prosthetic leg after his latest breakout from Arkham Asylum. The report says she was successful in her attack and the criminal was apprehended and brought back to Arkham.