Sit back and let me be your TV Guide

Hi, I'm Sam. 21, Maryland. Ballet, Theatre, Writing, Television, Pics of nice looking clouds.

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

why does every father have the emotional intelligence of a flea

[certifiedboob]

toxic masculinity

[spoekelse]

Not my dad, shut it

[mychemicalnations]

Okay it’s great that your father doesn’t fall into this category - my father doesn’t, either - but I don’t think that’s a very good reason for telling others to shut it.

[spoekelse]

Because it says “every father”, and I’m not here for that. I’m not here for making that an expectation, or making it normal. Some fathers, maybe. Not every father.

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

if your father was so great why’d he raise such a dipshit

[dutchstore]

[alexander]

IF THIS ISNT ME THEN I DONT KNOW MAN

[jakemorph]

in this essay i won’t

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you’re one of those public speakers that say “Goodmorning….Oh come on we can do better than that, GOODMORNING” I automatically do not like you from that moment on.

[dilfnipples]

[margbarcis]

elon musk wild for this one

[waxscoralpants]

Animal Crossing GameCube was so heartless. Villagers would randomly paint your roof. It was so hard to make money. One time a villager sold me a mystery item without even asking and took all the money I was carrying. 12 thousand bells. It was a pitfall seed.

[otterscallops-deactivated202203]

[perchu-deactivated20180224]

also. under certain circumstances forgetting to save will get your face taken away

[sailorbamff-deactivated20210108]

You guys are forgetting the best part

[frenchifries]

animals when you’re rude to them in new leaf: haha you’re such a kidder! oh well have a good day!

animals when you’re rude to them on gamecube: haha it’s funny how much of an ugly bitch you are, you absolute degenerate :) i’m going to take everything you love, do you know that? you’ll never be shit. you’re going to die alone in the woods with no one around to even hear your last words :)

[cartooncoyote]

[mapsontheweb]

Dairy Queens in USA and Canada - density grid.

[gaelic-galpal]

#if the queen of dairy be what ye seek #then find a dairy spire and climb to the peak

[cmonangel]

i just found out hozier is 6’5”?????? what the fuck was i just supposed to learn that on my own or

[goattgrrl]

[cockmcstuffins]

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

[zervuska-haidis]

[jesterlesbian]

me: buys the smallest size of a lush moisturizer

me: [puts on sunglasses] jeeves.. pull the limousine around… im feeling adventurous today

[fosterreborn]

[cartoon-deactivated20220930]

ITS TIME TO STOP

[kedamonokult-deactivated2023030]

City girls buy vibrators. Stone age girls make yabba-dabba do.

[spaceprincezz]

[tayloracleswift-deactivated2015]

[godhasacne]

*brings banana bread to the club for when me and my girls get hungry* 

[salemclowntrials]

From now on, I’m going to greet all my friends like porn bots.

[salemclowntrials]

[salemclowntrials]

[marsixm]

me: *holds up a strip of paper that says TWIN PEAKS* me: *folds the paper together until it just says TWINKS* [x files music plays]

[paranetics]

Please fucking bring back vine I’m so sick of reading these posts because I swear I can see them.