Where’s the Vodka?

26 and I am the liquor now

[littlegraycats]

this is just objectively funny though

[nsomniacsdream]

Great joke tho? Who complained?

[maculategiraffe]

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

[synthetic-blanket-hairs-deactiv]

this comment passes peer review

[blog-of-horribleness]

[owlcitytweets]

[beyond-authority]

Update!

[the-great-void]

Mr. City

[timetrees]

#mr city was my father please call me owl

[oneheadtoanother]

new booty shorts meme idea

[puipui-official]

"Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma'am, that man has been killed. He has been MUHDUHED. To DEATH."

[froginapicklejar]

[supermodelcats]

[utopians]

they all hate me for my pathetically small bong

[utopians]

Whatever

[minotaurfemme]

thats not a bong thats a bing

[cheaphalloweencostume]

explain to me why every time i make a sandwich im surprised and delighted by how good it is. i made it. i put stuff on it that i like. i know sandwiches are good. im grown. and yet every single time i have that first bite im like damn! good sandwich

[dumperscoot]

i could eat a sandwich every single day. twice a day. multiple times a day even more who am i kiddin. i love sandwich

[cheaphalloweencostume]

it feels just like Shaggy is here among us

[timemachineyeah]

Didn’t anticipate one of the bonuses of going to a drag show in a smaller more conservative town would be getting to see a bro who clearly wandered into the wrong part of the bar by mistake experience what looked to be a transcendent awakening upon seeing his first drag show.

[timemachineyeah]

On of the queens halfway through the show, “Honey, are you straight?”

This man, in a strangled voice, “I don’t know”

[soup-enthusiast]

[hotvampireadjacent]

The power just died I was literally in the middle of canceling hello fresh their snipers got me

[hotvampireadjacent]

[short-and-ugly]

another run through the washer will fix me

[short-and-ugly]

girl i shrunk

[sluttynurse]

he is somehow stupider than the majority of people who use tiktok

[quisevadet]

[iimr3]

*hitting you with a stick* no benoit blanc movies should not interact. they should not lead up to something. you need to detox from the marvel/sherlock bbc poisoning. they should be completely independent movies (maybe w some cameos/little references for fun) and go on for as long as there are stories rian johnson wants to tell in this universe. i do not want an overarching plot i do not want a team up i dont want a benoit-focused prequel i want some good old fashioned episodic murder mysteries that have nothing to do with each other!!!!!!!!!!! also rian johnson has literally said he's not gonna do a prequel and he wants the movies to all stand on their own

[clickbeetle]

before glass onion: idk like.. do we need sequels for everything? like i’m excited for it but i just don’t see how this’ll work

after glass onion:

[guidancerune]

merry fucken christmas heres your

PRESENT

[guidancerune]

this post from 4 years ago had less than 1000 notes yesterday. thank you all

[fancyeliza-deactivated20200804]

Let Him Have The Sausages

[runwithskizzers]

i almost scrolled past this, like some kind of idiot