ITLW Hammer Time

I am a sideblog god bless. Nobody is itlwposting like me. Clethubs warrior and #2 flower court hater. I can reclaim identity theft. Banner by @martynsimp69. To match the other guy. Currently experiencing Thorn Takeover

[grasswyrm]

[grasswyrm]

I gotta stop staring directly at the sun this is famously not the greatest of moves

[unnamed-atlas]

Minecraft wheat field so big my entire computer froze when I tried to open axiom and when minecraft proceeded to crash my computer freaked out so bad it started opening randomly recently used apps and stopped rendering several key graphics on my hotbar 🤪✌️

[unnamed-atlas]

My field. #myfield

[januaryysummers]

we turned him into soup

[januaryysummers]

for the record i don't know him. i just turned him into soup

[grasswrym]

I think S2 of 3rdLife should completely disable using the chat. Information should be spread by word of mouth alone. No death messages, no cries for help across the map, just a proximity chat and that alone

Also tab is disabled. I want people to see a red life and freak out, or someone to perma die and people not know for the whole session and spend ages looking

[grasswrym]

God I was so right

[fr3sh-c0rn-2]

Martyn answering rens "did we get married" with "well I did chop your head off" in wild life makes me want to raise several questions about the kinds of weddings hes been to. in what world is that a qualifier

[moldyrainbowbutter]

Writing mcyt fanfic feels so silly because the names are on a spectrum from "normal human name" to "semi-plausible" to "Sausage"

[moldyrainbowbutter]

squad, I hate to break it to you but Gem, Grian, and Pearl are all normal names that people have. Also Bdubs and Big B are perfectly realistic to have as nicknames. They do not go in the semi-plausible category. Semi-plausible is for shit like Zam and Tango and maybe fWhip.

[dogpuppy]

[cogneartive]

when the persona you made eats you; when the performance youve been putting on eats you; when the name they gave you eats you; when the image people made of you eats you; when the role you were assigned eats you; when the you that other people see or even made for you or you made for them takes over the you that you know and eats you alive.

[tlirsgender]

They don't tell you this but besides the Beloved Mutual there's also the Longterm Follower who you don't follow back but they're always in your notes and you're kind of watching them. Checking on the longterm follower's bio every so often like turning over a log. She's trans now good for her

[tlirsgender]

Longterm followers I am putting fresh leaves and hrt in your enclosure

[ashoss]

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

[iphigeniacomplex]

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

[orangeocelotmartyn]

Gridlock - Don't Feed Him Chocolate; Kill a Parrot with a Cookie

In which Martyn doesn't know the parrot mechanics of vanilla Minecraft

Martyn: There's a parrot right there, hello chum. C'mere. Portal: Aw. Poor little guy. Martyn: 'bout to ruin your day, fella. Oh there's a few of them, actually. Good. (begins beating the parrot to death with a cookie) Portal: That's horrible, I have a parrot in my branding. Martyn: (the parrot dies, no achievement gained) In your branding? Portal: Well. It's partly in my branding, it's like, my starting soon screen and stuff. Martyn: Kay. Killing a parrot with a cookie didn't work. Portal: Oh. Did you kill it or did you just feed it? Martyn: No, I killed it. Oh wait, is it feed it? "Kill a parrot with a c–don't feed him chocolate." (Portal begins laughing) Oh, you feed it– Portal: (through laughter) No no no no, please don't tell me you hit the parrot with a cookie in your hand. Martyn: Yeah, cause it said, cause it said (Portal laughs harder) "Kill a parrot with a cookie." Is that– Portal: (sounding further away from his mic) Ah, that's amazing. Martyn: D-don't act like this is normal knowledge! This isn't regular knowledge! Portal: (normal tone) That is amazing. Martyn: That is not common knowledge that a vanilla parrot dies to eating a cookie. [Graecie: a quest objective has been unlocked!] I'm not taking that. (he finds another parrot, feeds it a cookie and it dies, giving them three points) Portal: Technically he was right. Martyn: Is that a plugin or is that actually vanilla? Portal: (through laughter) That's a feature. Martyn: That is mental. Portal: That's so funny.

[howtofuckyourkramer]

[grazzwyrm]

Funny thing about Tumblr is everyone you are mutuals with probably has a secret gimmick side blog.

[grasswyrm]

Rendog is probably the only person who has ever understood me and I fucking hate the guy

[grasswyrm]

I can’t think about this too long though because I start getting for real mad

[grasswyrm]

Martyn in my heart has crazy visual static and auras and fucked up nerves i know her fingers fizz and tingle and go numb sometimes and the world is lit up all wrong and she doesn’t know what it is if it’s datatstream or watchers or just something wrong with her entirely and shes never gonna know for sure