[great-graymatter]

And just like that

Without a thought

Symmetry of spirit

Moving toward the sun

Unafraid, again

Is this my end

If only I knew how unpredictable love was, lost, lust, envy, greed, hate

I can’t even turn anymore, I won’t, nothing left to sift

If only, and if I burn my last thought will be you

If only, I knew you

Then maybe, I’d love me too

[great-graymatter]

The feminine urge to never utter another word again

The feminine urge to be thoughtless

[great-graymatter]

As I dive into the depths of my Venus one more time, a warm familiar pain circles my heart, brushed past my eyes, clouds my mind. Pressure. It keeps me in a dream like state. Decaying heart and body. Watered and weathered away. A flower being pulled deeper, and deeper through dark, still, isolated waters. It’s petals flowing and ripping and breaking through currents. Completely unaware. My heart has not much left. My eyes aren’t strong enough. My ears, they ache too. My hands are all I have left.

[great-graymatter]

2021 I will be kind to you, thank you for your kindness in return

[great-graymatter]

I met a boy and it felt like fire but it was really ice.

[great-graymatter]

God is a woman.

They say it so easy

Is it the curve of my back that excites you

My breast, skin so soft, archaic demeanor as in made just for you

how exactly does god present itself

And do you think you deserve me

That night you were sleeping I took a part of you

a new harp strung I am your muse

but I am no god

made of another

naked and bloodied bruised beaten battered discarded hated lusted after shamed lost confused belittled demeaned captive lowly and never to be left alone for too long , no right to jealousy, A god,

I mean let’s be real you only see my divinity in between, the moments of you wanting to spread me thin or dip in sin or get that win, 5% worshipping ass your god is a woman only amongst hungry men

If I’m such a god then don’t look at me

Where’s your sacrifice, I mean can I get a burnt offering or something , I mean I created heaven and hell right shit I created you , can’t I get a little something

I know

It figures your loose speech is a product of willful ignorance a poor attempt at coddling the heaven sent inherited by generations of Adam lacking decent atonement disillusioned with ... God is a woman

And you are?

I am no god my validity needs no question when you cut me I bleed

I don’t come to you as a whisper or a rose my colors don’t change in the sky I don’t have the forgiveness you need,

shit I’m still tryna forgive me

[theoptia]

Lydia Davis from Essays One; “Thirty Recommendations for Good Writing Habits”

[inthearmsof]

the way we trade our hard-earned time for pay

untitled poem - Jesse Darling (2015), featured in Loose Associations vol 2.1

'Charlie Darwin' - The Low Anthem (2008)

'No Loyalty' poster - unknown artist, source

'Romeo and Juliet' - William Shakespeare (1597)

'Political Ideals' - Bertrand Russell (1917)

'Not to be fake deep...' tumblr post - Clarantino

'The Mental Labour Problem' - Andrew Ross (2000)

'Anti-Capitalist Love Notes' - unknown artist, source

[redlipstickresurrected]

Jan Davidsz de Heem (Dutch, 1606-1684, b. Utrecht, Netherlands) - Vase of Flowers, c. 1645, Paintings: Oil on Canvas

[great-graymatter]

Flourish

[great-graymatter]

I liked it better when I didnt know it

[great-graymatter]

Nothing makes sense, everything makes sense and I dont want to smile ever again

[great-graymatter]

Lately I've stopped wanting to be sweet

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.”

— Ezra Taft Benson

[great-graymatter]

Milk the pain, you won't get another chance, better things are coming.

[great-graymatter]

The heart is so powerful

[vital-information]

Sometimes it is very important to be awkward, inelegant, jerking, to be neither poetic nor prosaic, to be positively bad. To express other possibilities for bodies, alternative values, to stop making sense.

— Zadie Smith, “Dance Lessons for Writers,” Feel Free

[lanabreaux]

The passing of Kobe has made me extremely reflective on myself and what I am doing with what I’ve been given.

My entire life I have been praised for the amount of natural talents I’ve had when I set my mind towards something. I’ve always been creative and I do truly love to create. I think I was put on this earth to create.

But at some point the potential to do great or be great became more intimidating than motivational. I’ve always been told “oh you should do this bc you do this so well” or “you’re so talented you could be doing this” and I would always shun away from whatever it was for reasons I wasn’t really sure of until now. I’ve come to understand that the pressure and the possibilities of going for it or even making an attempt scare me. I am afraid of my own capabilities because what if I can’t live up to what people think I am? And I could literally run a list of 1000 What If scenarios as to why I can’t try because I’m terrified. I am so fucking scared of not getting it right that I have been stuck for years. I have stopped my own success because of the possibility that I may not get it right. Honestly, coming to the realization that the biggest person keeping me from all that is waiting for me in life was myself is painful. It’s not the devil, it’s not just life, and it’s not other people’s decisions. It has been me and my fear to even put myself out there just for a second. To really be faithful.

And with the unfortunate passing of this incredible man...I’m here. I finally get it and I see what people have been screaming at me for years.

Thank you Kobe. Thank you for leaving such an incredible legacy and causing the whole world to reasses before we head into this second month of this New Years. I pray for the souls of those who lost their lives on that early Sunday morning and for the families who will be trying to fill the voids in their lives. I pray that God grant them with peace and strength only God can give to come to terms with this tragedy. This pain will be felt by us temporarily, but this is their forever. My heart and my prayers are with their families.