the greeench

Jess, 19, Mint. Dino Queen and Fulltime Emoji Enthusiast 😏

[ernoticon]

*hits you with car* “sorry”

[baynipz-deactivated20170818]

*gets hit by a car* “sorry”

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

me: i know we just met but im in love with you

stray cat whos letting me pet her: meow meow meow

[b0is]

[diegoide]

[coruscanty]

me on my way to the kitchen to eat shredded cheese out of the bag at 3 am

[gaynosha]

my cat following me after hearing me get up and go to the kitchen to eat shredded cheese out of the bag at 3 am

[jluiette-deactivated20161129]

this was a historical moment in television

[soyunalbondiga]

[awkwardrabbit]

How am I going to tell them I lost my job.

I have a wife, and 3 children

3 Children. 

[hobbyhaver]

[markv5]

Адблок, который мы заслужили

[ampersandtrain]

“The adblock we deserve”

[teenagerposts]

this is the best one

[dorkydoods-deactivated20181228]

HAGIBFIAFAFDB IM WHEEZING ON MY BED THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE SEEN IN YEARS

[pokemonstadium2]

this is a very funny post and it’s very true but i’m freaking out over finally finding another human being who says the word bikkies. this has been the bane of my existence since i was a child

[sundarsunya]

Lizards Licking an Ice Cube - SlimJones123

[toxeh]

This is important.

[aveline-shepard]

“I also think it’s weird in movies, when someone has amnesia, and they wake up in the hospital, a lot of times surrounded by friends and family, but when they open their eyes they go ‘WHO ARE YOU?!’ because that’s not how you act when you don’t recognize somebody. That’s very rude. It would be chaos out there if every time you saw someone you didn’t recognize you went ‘WHO ARE YOU?!’. I always try to be really polite in life, so if I had amnesia, you’d never know it! I’d wake up and they’d be like ‘Hi John, we’re so happy you’re awake’ and I’d just be like, ‘Oh, hey man… How’s it going? Oh hey dude, nice to see you again’ because that’s how you act when you can tell that someone recognizes you and you have no fucking clue who they are.”

— John Mulaney

[andreablythe]

Excellent point.

[thatgirlonstage]

John Mulaney woke up with amnesia once and never told anyone because he was too worried about being rude

[catchymemes]

Heat index was 110 degrees so we offered him a cold drink. He went for a full body soak instead

[bunjywunjy]

that actually is how frogs drink, so mission accomplished!

I hope the universe rewards your kindness.

[cyberscully]

as a procrastinating overachiever i feel like i don’t necessarily “half-ass” things, it’s more like a “3/4 ass”. like overall did i do pretty well? yeah. did i reach my maximum potential though? i think the fuck Not.

[archatlas]

Fairlytale Scandinavian Green Roofs

Scandinavians are serious about their green roofs. They’ve had them for a while now and it doesn’t look like they’re going anywhere. They even have a competition every year to determine the best green roof project in Scandinavia by the Scandinavian Green Roof Association! But there is a reason why Scandinavians like these green roofs so much… They are not only a beautiful feature for a house, but they also offer numerous social, environmental and financial benefits. They absorb rainwater, reduce winter heating costs, reduce summer air-conditioning costs, provide insulation, and are long lasting - just to name a few.

Images and text via

[giggle]

Me: I don't have time

Orange Is the New Black: You've got time

Me: I've got time

[teenagerposts]

TURN UP THE SOUND IM BEGGING YOU

[ravens-wing214-deactivated20230]

[violetbeetle]

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/parking.png

[materassassino]

a hero

[tchaikovskaya]

2 seconds into this video w/o audio i INSTANTLY knew this was russia lmao

[grootpoepjeplasjehoofd]

“You want to cut it off?”

“How else am I supposed to park?”