[stanning-reyna]

Guess you gotta photosynthesize huh Will

[pjoismyshit]

Top 10 Most Heterosexual Characters in the Riordanverse!!!!

10. Piper McLean- she just RADIATES cishet energy 💯💯💯

9. Lavinia Asimov- come on guys, she didn’t wanna join the Hunters cuz she likes BOYSSSSS

8. Rachel Elizabeth Dare- She is so hetero like literally could never be anything but

7. Apollo- He is the manliest man 🤤🤤🤤🤤 very hetero

6. Reyna Avila Ramirez Arellano- She fell in love with Percy Jason and Nico who are you all cooking? So cishet.

5. Percy Jackson- the first hetero we were introduced to, he has a special place in our hearts 😍😍😍

4. Clarisse La Rue- No one has talked about her today but she is SOOOOOO hetero like 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

3. Will Solace- There is not one OUNCE of gay on him so idk why y’all thought he was gay. 🤡🤡🤡

2. Thalia Grace- She loved Luke guys 🙄🙄🙄🙄 didn’t see the proof when it was there smh

AND THE MOST HETERO AWARD GOES TO.....

1. NICO DI ANGELO- This does not have to be explained.

[magical-little-witch]

☀️🌙

[fun-sized-amazonian]

[shinydelusionlover]

This...is not true. In Homer's version, Apollo is not involved at all. It's only Athena, Hera and Poseidon. And none of them were punished. Apollo and Poseidon serving Laomedon to build walls of Troy something unconnected to the coup.

[greeksandwhat]

Are we not going to talk about the "this scenario lead to the Trojan war"?? That's wild how did they come to the conclusion that the rebellion is what caused Trojan war???

[my-name-is-apollo]

Okay but AU where Apollo and Hermes simply adopt baby Asterius because 1) they both have a soft spot for babies 2) they've previously raised half human half animal kids (Chiron and Pan) 3) they're the gods of cattle so it makes sense for them to ADORE the minotaur on the first sight

[odiko-ptino]

Today I was thinking of how Psyche’s father went to the Oracle of Apollo to ask after his daughter, and Apollo was like

SHES GONNA MARRY A FLYING FUCKING MONSTER, OKAY. HE’S THE WORST. THIS GUY ISNT CUTE AT ALL, TOTALLY HIDEOUS, AND HES A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS TOO

... the shade is so intense... 😂 like he plainly already knew what was going to happen, because of course Fate never gets it wrong, but he couldn’t let it go without insulting Eros several dozen ways lmao

( @unknown-artist94)

[my-name-is-apollo]

Apollo had ONE chance to get back at Eros and he used it to the fullest XD

[my-name-is-apollo]

Aphrodite: *about to pull a la chancla on Eros*

Apollo: beat his ass bestie, I got your dove

[sigeel]

just Vlad being magnificent XD

[aimee-maroux]

Relax, Elly, he’s got nohing on your watermelon bikini 😘

But consider: this but it’s Hades in lava?

[sigeel]

ahahaha noooo XDDD

[7thgenbotulist]

I’ve cracked the code.

[greeksandwhat]

How the fuck is pjo Hermes a nice dude!!?? he's a big asshole :<

[greeksandwhat]

While we're at that, canon Hermes isn't a nice dude either. None of the gods are, but Hermes is relatively awful than his siblings sometimes.

[7thgenbotulist]

I’ve cracked the code.

[greeksandwhat]

How the fuck is pjo Hermes a nice dude!!?? he's a big asshole :<

[godsofhumanity]

Ares is a better dancer than Apollo, Change my mind

bro ares and apollo are EQUALLY as good dancers, and they have dance-offs all the time, and the rest of Olympus is super jelly of their moves. real men settle fights using dance dance revolution.

[greeksandwhat]

Ares...dances? That's new to me

[my-name-is-apollo]

There are many instances of babies being precocious in Greek mythology but nothing can top unborn Apollo giving out prophecies and death threats.

Look at this angry foetus, sitting in his mother's womb and talking about the deaths he's gonna bring once he grows up. That's metal af

[greeksandwhat]

Leto when she hears a voice coming from her womb while being chased by Python, Ares, Iris and getting rejected by all the lands:

[my-name-is-apollo]

This is how the footrace in the Olympic games went

[greeksandwhat]

Okay I'll bite I know it's generally accepted that Hermes is the fastest god but is there anything from source material that says so? If there isn't I'll have to push aside the possibility of Apollo's victory being a fluke lol

[peratzatha]

🍇 bae

[peratzatha]

it she

[peratzatha]

am i funny yet

[theycallmepspshh]

So Hermes readily had a threesome with Apollo when they both liked the same lady, but with Ares he went to the extent of having a boxing match to avoid sharing with him, and I guess that's because he disliked Ares or liked Apollo too much (or both?) but it's funny that Ares lost to Hermes

[theycallmepspshh]

Okay turns out Ares and Hermes were actually on pretty good terms with each other, which makes this funnier.

Ares: but why do we have to fight? can't we just yknow, have a threesome?

Hermes: no

Ares: but- but we're friends! Can't you consider it?

Hermes: nahhhh

Ares: you did it with Apollo the other day!

Hermes: sorry to break it to you Ares but you're not Apollo. I don't like you that much.

Ares: *gasp*

Hermes: now wear your gloves, lets get started.

[greeksandwhat]

This is why Apollo/Hermes duo is superior