TV Taught Me How To Feel

hi, im Greg! He/him, born '93, I reblog whatever I find funny, interesting, gay, or cool

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[thedankest]

[fnordseer5]

ok so a love shack is basically like a little old place where we can get together essentially

[deficiencyincourtship-deactivat]

[void-flesh]

this is the most realistic queer dialogue ive ever seen

[zeverity]

Important context: they’re married to each other.

[hmmm-official]

hmmm

[randomencounters]

Place: the Forest of Salami

[sixthrock]

[robichuwu]

[modogoblin]

[hooray4skeleton]

[brucebocchi]

today the miami dolphins punter accidentally kicked a ball directly into his teammate’s ass

[orcboxer]

[thischick25]

[stupot]

when i was a freshman in college i wanted to dress up for halloween because i thought surely college students would have the spirit. so i elected to put together a whole entire Skull Kid from legend of zelda majora’s mask cosplay together and wear that fucking ensemble to college on halloween.

i step on campus and realize immediately that not one other person is dressed up. not so much as a cat ear headband. so imagine this fucking dude sitting in a class of otherwise normally dressed people looking like this. that was me. this was my 9/11

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Scientists Finally Figure Out Why the Water Bear is Nearly Indestructible

Scientists Finally Figure Out Why the Water Bear is Nearly Indestructible

Good news! Not only have we discovered that tardigrades thwart destruction by turning themselves into glass, but we potentially have a future in which we can use their proteins to freeze-dry medications and vaccines to transport to disadvantaged communities!!

[hundredacreworks]

spoilers: they turn into glass. no jokes, folks.

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Putting a spoiler on this article after I just said that part in my own post is levels of disrespect hitherto unseen. I think ur my dad now

[me-her-and-la-lune]

JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: THESE CUNTS TURN INTO GLASS

[imagine-benedict-cumberbatch]

imagine Benedict Cumberbatch furiously trying to hide a boner.

[voidripper-archive-deactivated2]

[officialjared19]

this is the ugliest post on this earth and if i have to see it so does everyone else

[beastfreak]

happy 10th birthday to this post

[eldritchh-horror-deactivated202]

Respectfully King Arthur himself could not pull me out of you

This is fucking hilarious

[spaced0lphin]

Get you a man who's like

[wlwaluigi]

[memewhore]

[disturbedlolita]

[fungiblegoods]

[ripempezardexerox]

[sorry-im-a-terminalidiot]

[albatross-the-pen-chewer]

[high-fructose-porn-syrup]

[coughloop]

[coughloop]

[thickness-protection-program]

What's your jacking off technique

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

okay so

be a goth. conservative christian parents don't approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can

know more about religion than the parents. they'll try to introduce you to christianity because you don't exactly look like a christian but your dad's an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you'll correct them on every little mistake they make

call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i'm talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like "my liver" or "my little cabbage" (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won't know this they'll just think you're annoying :3)

to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else

stare at her older brother's ass for just a little too long

have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle

let them quote bible verses to you. then ask "so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?". it's very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it's even funnier when you've just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history

ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn't make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-

be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it's just an act)

go and fuck her brother in an alleyway. the parents won't know about this so it's an optional step

use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that

just be yourself! that's enough on its own to make them despise you tbh

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

yes