be nice to me, my tummy hurts

i'm sloan (she/her, 27) my hobbies include arguing with spotify in the shower and crying

[working-on-my-backwards-walk-de]

[isleofthings-deactivated2025042]

An excellent addition hiding in the tags

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[hungwy]

???

??????????????

[thepleasuregoblin]

[captain-price-returns]

the average red state is closer to Sharia Law than Zohran’s NYC

[guooey]

He gets up like nothing happened . he doesn't even care

[minihood31770]

You can pinpoint the exact moment he turns to liquid

[crttvv]

[night-windows]

[lesvegas]

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

[lesvegas]

literally how it feels

[welpnotagain]

[valtsv]

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

[valtsv]

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

[valtsv]

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

[iamhavingsomuchfun]

[cal3ris]

is this gonna get me fired you think

[catboytitty]

belongs in the post too in my opinion

[wlwaluigi]

[pansyfemme]

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here

[bagofcoldnoodles]

Is it licking boots?

[pansyfemme]

because of sexual desires i will not disclose here.

[csny]

[thesituation]

[doctors-star]

highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

[doctors-star]

me: oh thomas cromwell, we're really in it now. every day i get emails.

the postcard of thomas cromwell i keep on my desk: i was on committees with the duke of norfolk. and they beheaded me.

me: yep. good point.

[doctors-star]

me: cromwell. cromwell this post has got too big and famous and people are starting to misunderstand me on it.

the postcard of thomas cromwell i keep on my desk: oh no! you achieved too much fame and status? and now people are misrepresenting you? should we strip your lands and title? have you been beheaded?

me: YES ALRIGHT FINE

[segamascott]

[cannibalings]

have you reopened the wound? will you reopen the wound? when will you reopen the wound?

[charl0ttan]

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

[druggonaut]

Wrong! Humans irrelevant and obsolete now

[charl0ttan]

agnostic horse: we just dont know where scratch posts come from

[sandmandaddy69]

[unofficial-sean]

the raw betrayal and gluttony of this photo. I can’t process it.