be nice to me, my tummy hurts

i'm sloan (she/her, 27) my hobbies include arguing with spotify in the shower and crying

[rnismatch]

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

[cutecipher]

as a feminist i support recreational abortion

[cutecipher]

i have mixed feelings about competitive

[cutecipher]

*maddest ive ever been, eye twitching* thats baseless. its something else actually.

[kaibacorpintern]

in the Egyptian wing of the museum and my boyfriend is like "what are all the time periods of ancient Egypt" and I'm like predynastic, early dynastic, old kingdom which is when the pyramids were built, first intermediate, middle kingdom, second intermediate, new kingdom which includes amarna period and yugioh, third intermediate, and then all the late period stuff and macedonian and roman eras. and he's like run that by me one more time

[propertyofjameswilson]

happy pride month everyone!!

[steveyockey]

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

[pangur-and-grim]

two “cats” interacting

[fausphorus]

Got possessed in the middle of my work shift.

[michaelmcdonaldofficial]

deeply deeply deeply intrigued by the wall art choices from this zillow listing i found in Quebec

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

“Sir, a second color has hit the minimalist home”

[aflo]

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

[aflo]

[chirasul]

there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst

[shitidiotloserheritageposts]

heritage post

[chirasul]

come on man

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[garashir]

hey friends where is that picture of boromir with the gondor flag except its a pride flag?

[lesbiansforboromir]

Couldn’t find it so I made another because you’re right that it’s a crime and it’s definitely my duty to remedy it

[rabbiteclair]

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[thebibliosphere]

When I say editing software is getting dumber, this is what I mean.

In what world is "What dinnered?" more legible than "What happened to dinner?" I just... what?!

[emperorpenguin]

[sexchangedotcom]

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[hamptercatapult]

[downwithpeople]

we will domesticate the shark. we will restructure society around shark ownership. this is basic fucking marxism people.