jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself
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@gremlin-in-training
jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself
alright I'm almost finished Project Hail Mary, and I have to say, I don't get why people are shipping the guy with Markiplier when he's already in a perfectly healthy queer-platonic relationship with the alien spider made of rocks
that's insane. we need to change this
I love watching videos about youtuber scandals/drama cuz whoevers narrating will be like "and we all know about This Guy during his peak" and i actually dont know. I literally have never heard of him but tell me all about it actually 😊
I'm collecting them like pokemon
runrunrunnn lil guy!!!!!!
i wanted to try traditional animation for a while and heres a cute little guy inspod by sonnyelim ; 3 and here are the seperate frames as well
You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?
Was feeling Emotions than was quickly hit by very different ones upon opening the comments
have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out
reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney
Musk is being sued for falsely suggesting a 22-year-old Jewish man was part of a neo-Nazi brawl.
Elon Musk was deposed in a recent lawsuit for falsely linking a 22-year-old Jewish man to a neo-Nazi brawl. Musk, who attempted to keep the
PLEASE read this
bankston is my HERO he’s tearing these people apart
damn
HE LEFT
????
oh my god
KILL HIM
he is DONE.
HELP ME .
wow. ok.
genuinely first two pages he says that he thinks ben’s lawyer is the one who is actually suing him and admits he has no clue what the lawsuit is about .
doing a reread now this is so cunty
goddamn .
fun fact: the Mr. Bankston here is Mark Bankston, the same lawyer who absolutely ruined Alex Jones during the Sandy Hook trial.
how in the fuck did the muskrat's attorney pass the bar
Mark Bankston is gonna make me fucking SWOON.
I don't think Mark can ever top "INDEED, MR. JONES, INDEED" and "AND THAT IS HOW I KNOW YOU LIED TO ME" from the first Sandy Hook trial in Texas (not to be confused with Chris Mattei, the attorney in the Connecticut trial), but this part
MR. SPIRO: Do you give these lectures at all of your depositions? MR. BANKSTON: I do, and you can watch them.
is ESPECIALLY hilarious to me having listened to multiple depositions Mark has had to take in the Sandy Hook case, where he has needed to lecture EVERY. SINGLE. ATTORNEY. at some point in the case about how they're violating Texas Rule XYZ, because they all, to a one, did something seriously ethically questionable during the deposition.
like, YOU CAN WATCH/LISTEN TO HIS DEPOS. HE DOES HAVE TO GIVE THOSE LECTURES EVERY TIME. IT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE.
aadam jacobs's archive
It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good
Highlights include:
For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.
Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.
Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.
I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.
I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.
Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.
Actually I've decided this is a poem
This is getting notes so let me just say
Himb 💞💝💘💖💞💝
It’s wild how when you’re fat or even just not skinny you don’t get to wear fucking anything
every other week, my mom would make a giant pot of vegetable soup. she'd pack half of it in a tupperware and take it to her best friend's house. they both had three kids whose ages aligned. they'd lock us out of the house and go through each room, finding every piece of dirty laundry and then spend the afternoon keeping the washer and dryer running, folding and putting away each load while gossiping.
every alternate week, her best friend would come to our house with a tupperware full of chicken spaghetti. they'd stick us in front of a tv with a stack of disney vhs tapes and go through each room, finding every dirty dish, and then spend the afternoon at the kitchen sink, washing each dish by hand while gossiping.
it wasn't always soup and spaghetti and laundry and dishes. but it was almost always a meal and a chore. here is a night you don't have to cook dinner. here is a chore you can cross off your list. and here is a day you don't have to spend alone. because really food and friendship and a feeling of accomplishment are what we all need most.
im fucking crying
This is the 85 year old creator of Roger Rabbit:
If the MH x EAH crossover happened
Idiots at the beach
You know that weird phase where you are not asleep yet but your mind starts doing whatever and you can't really control it? Yeah.
I'M????????????