gremlin thoughts

returning to the blue hellsite of my youth

[arcsi0]

the Original playoffs ice kiss coming out :’)

they walked so Skip could run

[gremlines]

[dreamqueenmab]

Alright heated rivalry has charmed me but I’ll never stop being bitter about the OG hockey gays not getting their own tv show first

[gremlines]

"i'm not gonna come out or anything yet... we just want a future"

WE JUST WANT A FUTURE!!!!!!!!!! for so long it was liminal space and stolen moments and uncertainty and now they WANT A FUTURE!!!!!! shane has already come up with an elaborate plan to be together as publicly as they can and to get ilya canadian citizenship and is fantasizing about "when they retire" which could be 10+ years away. he wants a future THEY WANT A FUTURE

[gremlines]

EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU TO JENNY LEWIS AND SARA KAY

[gremlines]

[gremlines]

connor storrie getting so much well-deserved love for the phone call monologue but WHERE ARE THE FLOWERS FOR HUDSON WILLIAMS IN THE DINNER SCENE

i could feel his anxiety! i could feel his fear!! i could feel his RELIEF!!!!!!! the watering eyes and the very slight wobble of the chin and the way he just isn't quite looking at rose??? the trying to be subtle wiping his eyes? i could feel how much emotion was happening internally and hudson williams is barely moving!!!! i was so tense my jaw hurt!!!!!

just,, how much restraint is conveyed in like the small purse of his lips and the way he nods and shakes his head. give this man awards!!!!!!!

[gremlines]

break from the hollanov content to talk about SCOTT AND KIP AND THE BIG DAMN KISS

the admirals win the cup, and everyone's loved ones are swarming the ice, and scott is ALONE there is no one coming for him. all he gets are backslaps from teammates. and it's lonely and as the audience i can feel hoe LONELY he is. and you can see the moment when he decides no, i want that, i deserve to have my love out there too.

and he ushers kip onto the ice, and kip tells him "you don't have to do this" and scott says "yes i do" and then they LET THEMSELVES BE HAPPY. they grab their happiness with both hands and say yes, i want this, i deserve this.

[gngerale]

HEATED RIVALRY, EPISODE 5 'I'LL BELIEVE IN ANYTHING'

[megannarosee]

Also, as someone with intense social anxiety and a chronic need to please people - props to my guy, Shane for powering through that conversation in Florida to confront their feelings. He literally had to be fighting so hard not to panic and run again. It is one thing to read it, but to feel the physical tension as you watch 😭

[gffa]

Hudson Williams, the actor that you are. In the book, Shane's line of, "The thing is… I kind of prefer to be the hole. Than the peg." came off as mostly comedic to me, one of those out of pocket Shane moments that I love so much because you always forget this man is fucking unhinged just as much as anyone in this series. He's Mr. Boring Polite Goodest Boy Canadian 98% of the time, then that other 2% he's deploying psychic napalm on everyone around him by accident. But in the show, it kind of felt like it was Shane desperately needing to tell someone that he's a bottom, that he needed someone to confide in because he'd kept all of this locked up so tight for so long, even from himself. To be able to have a safe place with Rose to just SAY IT. Where it's not part of being so horny that he'll say anything to get Ilya to fuck him. To just. Talk to someone who knows. Shane laughs as he says it, but there's something really genuine there in the sheer relief pouring off him because he's able to actually say these things out loud, that they're real and true. And Hudson delivers this with these tiny microexpressions and inflections that just knocked me on my ass watching that scene. What an actor. What a show.

[nocoastposts]

I never want to come back here again. I fucking hate it here. And they all fucking hate me. I pay for everything. I make sure everyone has clothes they like. I make sure the food is perfect, that Father is buried next to his parents, that the tomb is perfect. And the only fucking word I ever hear is: "I want more, Ilya. I need more, llya. More, more, more." And I have nothing for these people! I give them everything... but I feel fucking empty.

They don't care. They look at me, and they see a bank. Or an enemy. Or...I don't even know what. My brother, he always hated me. And I know why, but... it kills me. And it kills me that he took care of my father, and I didn't. But I couldn't! I wasn't here. I still paid for it all. And he will never forgive me. For any of it. For existing.

And it means...I have no one now. Well, not no one. I have...Svetlana. She loves me. And l love her. But not like...Fuck me. But not like I love you...That's the worst fucking part of all of this is...that all I want is you. It's always you. I'm so in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it.

Ilya’s Russian monologue | S1E05 “I’ll Believe In Anything”

[avadcniels]

HEATED RIVALRY

"I'LL BELIEVE IN ANYTHING"

[littlegirlinvisible]

HUDSON WILLIAMS and CONNOR STORRIE as SHANE HOLLANDER and ILYA ROZANOV in HEATED RIVALRY

1.05: I’LL BELIEVE IN ANYTHING

[gremlines]

"hudson and connor are queerbaiting" this and "only (out) queer actors should play queer characters" that -- just say you don't actually know what queerbaiting means and have no concept of homophobia

[gremlines]

as a severely anxious autistic person, i love shane hollander SO MUCH and hudson williams's portrayal of that inner turmoil resonates with me sooooo much like when an opera singer makes a glass break with their voice. falling apart in the vegas bathroom scene?? the barely restrained panic after "hollander. hollander!" ??? the blank dissociated look as he follows rose up the stairs????? hudson williams i'm in your walls!!!!!

[servedwithhoni]

My favorite ships right now are just gay autistic characters and the men who love them fiercely. When will it be my turn? I want someone who will love my neurotic ass too.