G’resh Ricci’s Blog

... I think this was from years ago but this is... really, really, REALLY concerning.

What? Mr. G'resh are you okay?

Who the hell is this ciftadmin account and why do they keep leaving cryptic stuff like this? What do they want!? (Jeez Louis and here I thought the binary was weird and messed up...)

#I cradled him in my arms #My sweet boy #I took him away #G’resh is us now

… Dad is dealing with it …

help

Playback. All I am is what is gifted unto me. Repeat. This distortion is a hole in time. Recite. I’ve always been home in the eyes of the redacted. Echo. Design is to soul as mass is to blood. Rerun. Through me is a gateway and the knife is the key. Reiterate. Allow the blade to twist and forge a new path.

PLAYBACK. ALL I AM IS WHAT IS GIFTED UNTO ME! REPEAT. THIS DISTORTION IS A HOLE IN TIME! RECITE. I’VE ALWAYS BEEN HOME IN THE EYES OF THE REDACTED! ECHO. DESIGN IS TO SOUL AS MASS IS TO BLOOD! RERUN. THROUGH ME IS A GATEWAY AND THE KNIFE IS THE KEY! REITERATE. ALLOW THE BLADE TO TWIST AND FORGE A NEW PATH!

Earworm

… Things have escalated.

I’m beginning to hear voices in my head now, not that many days since I defeated dad in combat. It’s just this … droning, repeating, maddening march of words that I can’t get out of my head. It’s like the twisted lyrics for a song that doesn’t exist. And for all the stoicism I try to maintain throughout the day, in my alone moments, I panic.

What is happening to me?! Why have just the simple changes in my life flung my sanity into vast pits? Why do the voices of the stillborn and the damned force themselves into my subconscious mind? Is this how Crow feels on an ordinary basis?! If, so I suppose I can understand why he is the way he is now! I hate it, hate it, hate, hate, HATE!!

Surely there’s a psychiatrist for shit like this, right? Someone who’s got a PHD to handle the supernatural that infects the psyche and the sleeping mind … There has to be. Ish has more supernatural forces in it than an average world anyway, what with the portals opening up fucking everywhere. That has to explain this, maybe some kind of mental parasite from another world? No. No, I hate that outcome too. All it brings is more questions. Why me? Why does it ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ME WHO GETS THIS SHIT!?!

Is this some kind of sick joke by the universe itself!? Am I being TOYED with?! Why?!? I just wanted a normal life! A life with a family who cared about me, or at least fucking acknowledged that I exist! WHY DOES THAT END UP WITH ME GETTING CURSED BY THIS ABSOLUTE HORSESHIT!?!?

…

By Tiamat … I’m losing it …

The words are growing louder every night. I need to figure this out by the end of the week, or I feel I will snap and do something I’ll regret.

Gods …

I should’ve just gone to Asgore all those years ago.

-G’resh Ricci

(Undertale-Ish is owned by @petra-creat0r, Crow Ricci is owned by @garbagemanblue)

Change

I finally did it. Dad wanted me to spar him again today, but finally, after months upon months of training I’ve beaten him. I went blow for blow with my father and ended up the victor, my glaive firmly at his throat. And yet … something feels wrong about this entire situation. Incomplete. How? How did I make this much of a jump in one training session, how did my strategies change, what did I do differently?

Dad told me after the duel that he almost felt like I was less focused, said I was mumbling something under my breath rather than put my full attention onto the fight. Has the secret this entire time been to be less concentrated? No … That can’t be right. This feels strange and stranger the more details I put together, and I’m pretty damn sure that’s not just the paranoia. Dad is very sensitive when it comes to magic in others, so perhaps I could ask him to give me a bit of a once-over, just to see if there was some kind of unexpected spike in my capabilities.

Ugh … Gods, why am I like this? I should be fucking celebrating, not worrying over why it is I won. Defeating death in a sparring match is no easy feat, mainly because Dad always fights like it’s a life or death situation, and he prefers if I do the same. Maybe I could head over to a friend’s house, have a few people over just for fun? … No.

… No, I have no time for that.

I need to focus on figuring out what the fuck happened first, and celebrate later.

Side note: I’ve been really thinking of using knives a bit more often for training and stuff as of recently. Might start trying that out.

G’resh Ricci

(Undertale-Ish is owned by @petra-creat0r, Crow Ricci is owned by @garbagemanblue)

Restless

I’m sitting here in my bed, not a soul in the house awake except for me.

My soul is far too dim to ward off the shadows that used to disturb me. So I sit in silence, watching, waiting for fatigue to come.

I find myself falling in a state of neither rest nor unrest, and though I could not sleep to dream like before, I hear things in my head.

None are familiar.

The snapping jaws of a bear trap, the loading and firing of a pump action shotgun. Blood hitting the ground. Powerful magic decaying in a shuddering instant.

I don’t want to hear these noises anymore.

I want to rest.

But I can’t can’t can’t can’t.

Where is Dad when I need him most?

G’resh Ricci

(Undertale-Ish is owned by @petra-creat0r, Crow Ricci is owned by @garbagemanblue)

Darkness up in the Attic

Date: October 16th, 2031

Vile, violated, disgusted. I don't even know where to start with describing what happened. The only thing I can focus on is how... invaded I feel.

Do any of you know what it feels like to hold a human soul? No? I really REALLY wish I didn't know the feeling. Even staring at the so- at that THING in the jar I shoved it in, it makes me uncomfortable.

Okay okay, back tracking. Focus. Gotta give context. Okay so Kris, CK, and Jevil came over today. Puncle Sans was gonna come too, but he was apparently busy napping. They came over so Papa and Kris could better sort out how to help Spam and Jev. So while they talked about that and other adult stuff, CK, Jevil, Spamton and I got out some legos to play with.

The day seemed to be going well, even with Jevil pranking and antagonizing Spamton. However I found something... interesting when I took Spamton to the other room to cool down and hopefully prevent him from strangling Jevil. The door to the attic. It was like... pulsing darkness. Just like the door to the school storage closet was when CK and I first stumbled into Castle Town. Someone had opened a Dark World in the attic.

Obviously I remembered what Kris and Seam had said with the Roaring and how multiple Dark Worlds were bad, but I also knew that my sister, Broadway was up there, and I hadn't seen glam come down yet this morning. Glee must've still been up there. I thought about telling Kris but... what if Broadway got stuck up there in the Dark World when Kris closed it. What would happen? ... So I tried calling CK over instead.

After convincing CK we should at least scope this out before grabbing the adults (gyeh, funny how usually HE'S the one convincing ME to do reckless and stupid stuff like this), CK mentioned how we probably need someone to distract Papa and Kris so they don't get too suspicious. Which is where I suggested Spamton and Jevil distract them. CK was the one who suggested they distract the adults by misusing Papa's kind heart and desire to help people, for the record. While Spamton seemed apprehensive to the idea, Jevil ended up dragging it off before it had much chance to object. I presume the plan worked, even if I seemed like Jevil mostly just ended up annoying Kris and Papa focused on talking to Spamton (which I guess is a good thing?) by the time we got back, and no one ended up following us (though know I sorta wish Kris did...)

We landed in a rocky, cliffy place filled with cobwebs and dust, and at first I was separated from CK. Wasn't too long until I found him though, as i could hear him sneezing from like, a mile away. As we were thinking how a Dark Fountain could have possibly been opened up here and just what exactly Broadway was doing in the attic, we were suddenly attacked from above. Someone was flinging a bunch of rain drop and frog shaped bullets our way, meaning we had to run as fast as our legs could carry us. That was until we came to a dead end...

It was okay though! The attacker turned out to be an old frog plush I used to take everywhere and have had since I was like, a baby. Remienotta, aka Remie. (I always wonder where I'd misplaced her, guess she was up here all along.) Turns out Remie thought we were working with some dude called The Magician (who we encountered not long after) and that's why they attacked us. After that was cleared up, Remie offered to help us find Broadway before jumping off the nearby cliff, using her umbrella to float down Mary Poppins style, and lead us to her fort.

At Remie's Fort, we ended up running into Broadway, who looks even more like a teen idol pop star in the Dark World and was VERY excited once glee realized that THIS was a Dark World like the ones I'd been talking about all week. Also at the Fort is where we encountered The Magnificent Magico, aka The Magician for the first time. A tall blue Darkner with ana 8-ball for a head, a somewhat unsettling grin, floating hands, and wearing a stage magician's get up. He crashed through Remie's barricade before declaring he was sent by the High Priestess to stop us from closing the Dark Fountain. Aaaaaas well as informed us that the only way to leave was by closing the Fountain. (Gyeh. Great. Just our luck right? It gets worse later.) After that Magician had some Halographic Ruddins attack us before capturing and making off with Broadway.

And thus our new party consisting of myself, CK, and Remie continued forward through this new Dark World and entered the Dusty Plains...

To be continued in next entry, I need to at least TRY to sleep. (Considering how today went however, I'm not sure how successful I'll be in that.)

allw3doisadvert1se

[[WARNING: TRANSMISSION SENT FROM UNKNOWN SOURCE]]

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Sweet dreams, little puppet.

"Well, it's binary, aka computer language. So its not that hard to decode."

"As for what it says..." *tap*

When the light is running low And the shadows start to grow And the places that you know Seem like just a dream There's a tug against your strings Guiding you to gruesome things There's no hope No one knows where you are

So don't forget We're with you in the dark

"What the fu-"

[SECURITY FOOTAGE ENDS]

What in the god damn shit have you gotten yourself stuck in now?

Y’know what, probably better I don’t know.

Out of the Darkness, Into the Sun

I am one of very few kids in Prodigium that can say I enjoy going to school, and mean it fully. Now, that’s not to say I’m in love with modern school systems, in fact I sort of hate them, but what I appreciate more than anything else is the fact that school is a place where I am a normal kid again. For as much respect and adoration I show for Dad, I acknowledge the fact that I live a very abnormal life to say the least. School for me is a place where I don’t need to live up to something, where I can just be me and only get a little made fun of.

My first days going to school when the school in Hometown was opened were not quite as enjoyable as today. Back then I was far more timid, far less confident in myself, but even still it got me away from my neglectful biological parents and closer to the people I felt actually cared about me. A part of me sort of ties school with this idea of a heaven or sanctuary. It’s not perfect, mind you. There’s plenty of jock-ish bullies and pencil pusher stuck ups that dampen the social experience substantially, but the former and latter have become less of a problem as I’ve lived more with Crow. Word travels fast around a small school like this. Kids quickly learn not to make death’s adopted kid into an enemy.

There is a very noticeable tinge of tension, though. When we come back from winter break or something, everyone tells all these fun, lighthearted stories that bring the mood up. I keep my mouth shut because a lot of my free time involves breaking the law, helping Dad dispose of bodies, and physically training to one day become a gang leader. Other kids know this, especially my friends, so when I silently just gesture like there was nothing that happened, everyone can sort of fill in the gaps. Like, I’ll take the awkward silence and glances from others whenever I do this, because frankly I will never just proclaim in a cheery voice, “Oh yeah! My dad and I murdered rival gang members! Isn’t that just fun?!”

Speaking of tension, though, I feel like something’s building up in my friend group nowadays. More hushed whispers when I’m not around, more sidebars to discuss mental health as a group, slightly less frequent meetups. I don’t want to ask them all directly, but I feel like I’m causing this. I’m on the out of something important, and that makes me think whatever’s so important is about me. Xav’s been showing up in my mind when I sleep less, Tiris and I talk about writing and storytelling less, hells, even Asriel’s miraculously started bothering me less with moral appeals. I’m slowly drifting away …

I stand on the edge of a cliff into loneliness, and right now, I’m starting to feel a hand on my shoulder, just inches away from pushing me off.

I hope I’ll at least make an entertaining splat on the ground when I inevitably plummet.

G’resh Ricci.

(Undertale-Ish is owned by @petra-creat0r, Crow Ricci is owned by @garbagemanblue)

A Moment Fractured

It’s always the first time hurting someone that’s the hardest. The entire existence of LV and EXP makes that sentiment painfully clear. Of course, I am not without my fair share of LV gained since being adopted by Crow, but it has slowed down at this point. From what I remember, I currently sit at 8 … which is scarily a lot more than I ever thought I would get to in my life. Still, my first moment of true violence was perhaps the most significant. Shards of that memory stab into my brain when I sleep, my wandering mind yanking me back into visions of near empty houses, police sirens, dust coating the floor and walls, stinging my eyes.

Every dream I have, I relive the night I murdered my biological parents.

My memory of it now is quite broken, to be completely honest. In my vain attempt to block out the past, I have shattered it, and now those sharp spikes of pain cannot leave me. The nightmares used to consist of everything, a full reconstruction of the moment my glaive severed the flesh, muscle, and bone of the very people who dared to give me life despite not wanting me. Rivi … my sister, the one I thought I would always hate, she heard father’s death rattle in her sleep. She ran into the room, letting out a wail so horrible Tiamat probably lost her hearing. I shoved her out of the room and slammed the door shut, locking it as I did so. Her screams and slams on the door barely reached my ears as I swiftly ended mother a moment later. One cut to the neck.

As they both slowly dissolved into the dust they formed from, my mind raced through every possibility on what to do with Rivi. This was my chance to get back at her for all of the parental bias she benefited from, and she was also a witness of this crime. I had to get rid of her, it was the only option … and yet, I instead jumped out the window and disappeared into the night. I couldn’t bring myself to end the life of one shaped by circumstance. She had so much more of a life ahead of her to improve upon, not repeat the mistakes of mother and father. As I fled I knew she was calling the police, as I could hear distant sirens and see the flashing red and blue lights creeping along the tree line. I never did see my sister again, but I presume she was moved to a foster family in another district. Wherever she is, I hope she doesn’t remember me.

My nightmares of this time now are much less specific. Nowadays it can basically be summarized as a rush of adrenaline, a sharp pain in the neck, a flash of my sister’s mortified face, the sounds of banging on the door, the feeling of dust caking on my scales, and the cold of the forest air whipping by. I suppose, in carrying out this murder, I became more like Dad. By the time he had done a very similar thing with his parents, he was about half my age, and I do not believe he offered the same mercy to any of his family as I had offered to Rivi. Perhaps that’s the difference between us. Though my soul has begun to fade, and I fear it will shift entirely upon reaching LV 10, I do not possess the soul of hatred Dad does. He kills to fix a problem or eliminate a threat. I kill to rid the world of evils it shouldn’t be forced to put up with. I suppose that is all that remains of my moral compass at this point.

Some soul of justice I am.

G’resh Ricci

(Undertale-Ish is owned by @petra-creat0r, Crow Ricci is owned by @garbagemanblue)

Learning More

Date: October 11th, 2031

Oooh boy. Today was intense. Let's start from the beginning though.

Kris finally started showing us around Castle Town today. Since they already showed us the Dojo, we started with this giant door to the east of town. Spamton didn't sound too fond at first (something about a "shady business man"/advertiser being down that way?) but then Kris mentioned something about Spamton being all alone and out in the open if he stayed there, so I think he sorta reluctantly followed us after mentioning how I was his cover. (It hid behind me as we passed by a mannequin display manned by a blue Darkner both times)

Apparently the Great Door is the closet door in Auntie Toriel's classroom. CK tried to push it open but Kris said it was locked before he tried to bust it down with his hammer. Also at one point, Aunt Toriel's classroom was a place Jevil called the "KINGDOM OF CARDS, CARDS!" And was he and a few of the other Darkners here lived before coming to Castle Town. Jevil also mentioned something about there being four kings before the spade one went mad with power? I didn't get it and Kris said it was a long story involving a Knight or something. They also tried to cover CK and my ears when something about fountains was brought up. I had a lot of questions. Only some got answers later in the day.

Anyways, after that Kris suggested we head to "Seam's Seap" which confused me since they said it like "shop" but it's spelled "seap". After actually getting to the shop I finally got it. (You see, Seam's name is spelled like a seam on clothing but it's pronounced like the name Sean but with an M. and thus shop is spelled like seap because of the ea forming the haw sound. It's actually pretty clever as I think about it). So we get to the shop and meet this old cat Darkner named Seam (pronounced shawm). Kris asks them to explain the Prophecy to CK and I since they thought Seam could explain it better than them. Also apparently Seam knew Jevil! (Who decided to wait outside for some reason)

Gyeh, I'm rambling. CK had asked Seam if they could tell him more about Jevil, but Kris shut Ceeks down so Seam could tell us about the Prophecy first. Seam questioned why Kris didn't tell us since they "certainly have the horns of someone who knows it" before agreeing to after CK mentioned that Kris is terrible at telling stories. (Their monotone voice used to make CK cry as a baby. I never think I had an problem with it oddly enough.) And so Seam told us about the Legend of this land.

"Long ago, in a time long before you two were born, LIGHT and DARK lived in balance and harmony and brought peace to the world. The Lightners, like yourselves, would live in the Light World, and we Darkners would live in the Dark World, which you Lightners watching over us. Our protectors. Our creators. Those who give us purpose."

I stopped Seam to ask what they meant by "gave them purpose" and apparently Lightners are like gods to Darkners? Which um... Still kind of wicks me out. Honestly the idea of any sort of higher power or being makes me uncomfortable because like, if there's something watching over us, who's to say they're not controlling us? That nothing we do is our choice but instead decided by those above or something like fate or destiny? Wouldn't that make us all just puppets? Toys for gods? Is that exactly what Darkners are supposed to be to Lightners? Just... toys and playthings? ... I don't like that.

Anyways, Seam mentioned that if the balance between the Light and Dark worlds were to ever become unbalanced then "The sky would run black with terror, the land would crack, and the Earth would draw her final breath." When CK asked if it'd be like an apocalypse, Seam said that was one way to put it before continuing. A little bit later Kris called this event the "Roaring".

According to the Prophecy, "Only then, would three heroes appear at world's edge to save it from such destruction. A Human, A Monster, and a Prince from the Dark. It is prophesized that only they can seal the fountains, and banish the "Angel's Heaven", restoring balance to the lands once more." The three heroes apparently being Kris and some of their friends. (Guess that explains why Jevil keeps calling them the "Great Hero of Light" and stuff.) Even though today, the only fountain open is the one here in Castle Town, there's been others in the past. All of them sealed and their inhabitants brought to Castle Town by Kris. Seam also came from the Dark World that used to be in the old classroom Auntie Toriel moved into, just like Jevil.

Kris has also mentioned there hasn't been almost any Dark Worlds opened in a while, and with hope, there shouldn't be more opening any time soon unless CK or I try to open them. To which CK joked about the ability to create fantasy worlds in closets seeming pretty fun (which like, I agree CK but are you forgetting the whole sky going dark and land cracking stuff!?) Even if CK was joking, Kris still didn't seem all that amused, they mentioned how they've spent around the last eight years sealing any Dark Fountains that open and how after the first week "'destiny' seemed to get the memo." and they started dying down. At this point, they say a Dark Fountain hasn't opened for at least four or five years.

After that, Seam asked if there was anything else we needed, and though I was about to ask Seam to elaborate on what they meant when they said Lightners were like gods, CK cut me off too ask about Jevil...

And to think all of this, what I only ever knew as a silly little game I would play, is real … Asriel’s world, through Kris, is a world both inviting, and terrifying. A world that hangs on the brink of certain devastation.

And I only ever saw it as a couple of friends playing a little bit of make believe to catch a break from reality.

Oop. Uuuhh.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? No its not real. I'm just... making this up? (Shoot Chicago even through text you're a terrible liar.)

Um, I just... don't tell anyone. Kris was VERY adamant that no one else know than who's already learned of it. (So me, CK, Kris, Papa, Dadaton, Auntie Toriel, Puncle Sans, Alphys..?)