[demilypyro]

[brewrxsti]

I hear the guys voice now 😂

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

When you’re going to the movies and you have to sneak all of your snacks in your asshole and your friend asks for a bottle of water:

[underwherequestionmark]

this literally the worst post ive ever seen in my life. fuck you for posting tjis

[bunniope]

op im going to tear you to shreds

[adhdheather]

to remember how many feet there are in a mile, u just gotta use 5 tomatoes

five to-mate-oes sounds like five, two, eight, 0 and there’s 5280 feet in a mile

[inoffizielles-deutschland]

To remember how many meters there are in a kilometre you just remember “1000” because the system of measurement in the rest of the world wasn’t invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice.

[90sbluejeans]

Selena 👑

[kosemura-deactivated20180427]

How many Tumblcoins do I need to get this whole hellsite deleted.

[vase-the-original]

after some soul searching (jerking off) i have found that everything will be ok!

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

[torukou]

View this post on Instagram

[gozdendusmustanri]

[lumberjackmack]

this is the equivalent to cats picking their kids up by their necks

[beanerbrujx]

My daughter loves to be carried like this and it’s completely safe if the article of clothing fits well, is strong, and the child can support their own head

[federalbureauofislam]

sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen

[thenatsdorf]

Milkshake.

[yallstillhere]

HE GOING SO HAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAOFAKFAOKFAFFK

[yermemeblog]

Our Leader. He is us. We are him.

[prokopetz]

In the modern idiom:

“So Bob said […]” indicates that I am directly quoting Bob.

“Then Bob was like […]” indicates that I am paraphrasing Bob.

“And Bob was all […]” indicates that I am paraphrasing Bob, and additionally I am being a dick about it.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s fantastic that we have a specific grammatical convention for that.

[tsuki-chibi]

What I find most frustrating is when people don’t understand this! I don’t know if it’s a generation thing, but sometimes I’ll be talking and say “So I was like “are you fucking kidding me” and the person will look at me all horrified and say “you didn’t actually say that, did you?” I said LIKE heidi keep up jesus

[timsutton]

just found out there’s a fetish thing called fin-dom where rich people get off on sending vast amounts of money to people who verbally abuse them and hey just sayin if you’re into that hmu, i got a paypal and i’m mean

[earl-dabs-deactivated20160513]

[theblacktroymcclure]

This and “nigga are you ok” are the two best things the Internet has ever produced

[mariposa-nena-deactivated201911]

@elitelifekd no video can top this classic fam

[highclasslook]

What I like

[meanplastic]

[enfranchisement]

WHAT THE FUCK

[thedavesofourlives]

i thought it was fake but it’s totally real