BLÅVINGAD Octopus

they/she | 21 | : )

[that-stone-butch]

personalized ads are so funny to me

'hey we've been spying on you and tracking your every move. it's a culmination of state of the art technology and an unprecedented invasion of consumer privacy. a room full of men with made up jobs bent their will toward decades of constructing this system, defending it in court, and tirelessly innovating new ways to aggregate more data about you'

and the end result is

'yeah so uh we saw that you recently bought a car. so here's an ad for that car'

like no i'm good actually. you might be aware that i already have one

[elfwreck]

[yorgen-sh]

[twoblogger]

It kind of fucks with me that somebody killed ötzi the iceman because ötzi himself is like whatever but the silent presence of human hands that drew back the string of the bow that shot the arrow that killed him is crazy. the idea that there were various people involved in that situation and while one of them has had his last hours painstakingly reconstructed and studied to no end, the others now only exist insofar that an arrowhead had to get into his shoulder somehow. imagine killing someone and then suddenly your entire existence is only a vague shadow implied by the fact that you killed them. much to consider

[twoblogger]

Testing the mummified bone marrow of ötzi to figure out his ancestry whole time there’s definitely another person, maybe more than one, standing in the room with us but I can never see or speak to them because I only know them through the assurance that they were there too in the form of one single arrowhead. I hate prehistory so much it’s unreal

[angel-derangement]

I hate it too tbh

[februarytrash]

[norahsdove]

"The Stranglehold of English Lit." by Malawian poet and scholar Felix Mnthali

[guooey]

Hehe :)

[melynnwaters]

the joyous giggler here at last to spread merry mirth ^_^

[littleguysdaily]

[swagpaws]

i think its really telling that certain bodies and features are so taboo to conventional society that to find them attractive in any capacity must indicate a disgusting, dehumanizing, objectifying fetish. what i hear is "i dont see people with bodies like this as human. i cant even fathom being attracted to them in the same way im attracted to real people so it must be a symptom of something repulsive and malicious to do so"

[valtsv]

a lot of sexy robot fiction hinges on the premise of a machine discovering that they like having their wires and components played with for the first time, which is fair enough given that a major theme of many sentient machine stories is developing autonomy and self-discovery, but it doesn't have to stop there. more sexually experienced robots should get to engage in kinky roleplay with debatably absurd premises. like oh nooooo i'm turning into an evil android 😈 you have to disarm me 🥺... you're a sexy mechanic and i need some "routine maintenace" but i can't afford to pay the bill 😉... you see my vision

[valtsv]

and of course this opens up the possibility for a silly kink fantasy metamorphosing into ethical and social commentary. what defines an "evil android"? is it simply a robot with total autonomy who has the potential to do harm? do synthetic humanoids receive a living wage, or financial compensation for their services at all? you fell for my robot sex trick, it was social horror all along!

[txttletale]

its so fucking funny that nuclear waste is such a contentious topic. like yeah those damn nuclear advocates need to figure out somewhere reasonable to put that nuclear waste. for now we will  be sticking with coal power because it puts its waste products safe and sound In Our Lungs, where they cannot hurt anybody,

[megan3kk0]

[angelofdykeness]

none of these edits are as good as the original. we are losing our culture

[bananasheriff]

No, I don't think I will

[wizard0rb]

how life feels when you want video essays that aren’t just plot/wikipedia summaries and are made by people who have read at least one book in the last decade

[wizard0rb]

this was just an excuse to post

tumblr user wizard0rb's video essay choice awards:

(note: i'm using the term "video essay" to broadly refer to long form videos on youtube. not all of these are essays)

The Other Half of the West (A Travelogue) - Noah Caldwell-Gervais

This one goes at the top of the list in the hopes that you read it first, it sticks in your mind the most, and you watch it in full. Genuine contender for greatest piece of long form content on Youtube. Noah makes videos about games as well, but this is his best work imo.

Metal Gear Solid 4 was a Mistake - Steak Bentley

The definitive take on an absolutely insane piece of fiction. Funny enough that you can enjoy it even if you don't know anything about MGS. Steak Bentley is genuinely one of the best to ever do it.

THE PISS SAGA | Short Documentary - Derek Milton

A brief investigative documentary concerning the bottles of human piss that keep mysteriously appearing on an electrical box in California.

who firebombed friendlyjordies? - friendlyjordies

0% clickbait- someone firebombed Australian Youtuber friendlyjordies' house, and this is the video he made trying to figure out who did it.

The Tyler Perry Video - F.D Signifier

I was struggling to pick a single FD video for this list (because they're all so good), so I went with his most recent one. Go watch this video and then go watch all his other videos.

a normal creepypasta retrospective - hazel

An exceptionally good retrospective on some interesting creepypastas like The Peeker, Gabbit Rabbits, ShareThis, etc.

The Unreality of Pro Wrestling: FINISH THE STORY - Super Eyepatch Wolf

I wasn't originally going to put an Eyepatch Wolf video on here, for the same reason there's no hbomberguy or Defunctland- I feel like most people are already familiar with his stuff. But this video made me go from not giving a fuck about pro wrestling at all, to being deeply invested in a fight between 2 dudes I had previously never heard of, so it makes the list.

NEED FOR SPEED - A Brief History - Noodle

I want you to close your eyes and enter the Theatre of the Mind with me. Imagine, if you will, a reality in which Sequelitis was extremely good, and also made by someone else. Now open your eyes. You were so powerful that you brought that vision back with you into the material world.

The search for the saddest punt in the world | Chart Party - Secret Base

Jon Bois of 17776 fame once again making compelling football media that is accessible to the layman.

Art in the Pre-Apocalypse - Jacob Geller

My favorite video from a channel that pretty much never makes bad videos, Jacob Geller talks about living at the cusp of the end of the world. And also Final Fantasy

BONUS SINCE I'M HERE: OTHER NOTABLE YOUTUBE VIDEOS I ENJOY

these are just some youtube videos i like. no description because i think you should experience them without pretense

Badass swords AND grim reapers.

how to make pickle pepsi at home for free

Homemade dinosaur documentary

When the lights go out at night #shorts #viral

Drinking Orange Crush

Hermeto Pascoal - Música da Lagoa (Sinfonia do Alto Ribeira, 1985)

Center Core Never More

Lil’ Slimer - Online Video

My Movie

Japanese toilet experience 1

When you play games in your dreams, you don't use a controller, do you?

Cocaine & Crack

Give it All You've Got

may you never have a youtubeless dinner

[headspace-hotel]

video essays are unfriendly with my brain but jacob geller's videos are pretty much all fantastic

[epicsause-official]

"comparing apples and oranges" has always been funny to me as an expression because people's go to exampe of two things so radically different that they defy any useful comparison are apples. and oranges. like you would struggle to find a more comparable pair of objects than that. theyre literally sold right next to each other in most stores.

[epicsause-official]

wikipedia has a whole ass section dedicated to international variants of the idiom so let me quickly run through them

see this is even worse than oranges. pears and apples are like the most comparable things ever. france takes another L

ok so this is what i mean. these are measures of temperature and texture and are in fact not very comparable. молодцы ребята продолжаем в том же духе.

colombia wins most vivid image invoked hands down. would not want that to happen to me.

and i think we can all agree romania wins this hands down. everyone give a big round of applause to romania

[dogpuppy]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

"thought crimes aren't real, it's your actions that matter" and "your mindset informs how you treat others, so you should try not to have a shitty one" are another pair of things that are both true btw

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[nyaa]

horse with a dvd player on its back 2006-03-21

[nyaa]

wild

[nerveblot]

sorry I have some kind of brain disease

I suspect this was meant as a visual pun because this server is rated for 733 watts, almost exactly one metric horsepower

[creepymutelilbugger]

if it wasn’t for some kind of brain disease, we would all have forgotten this punchline. everyone say thank you some kind of brain disease

[frottinq]

idk if i've told this story here but cis people knowing literally nothing about transitioning is insane. one time i was talking to my friend, she's a total sweetheart and i am not talking shit about her but she legitimately didn't know that estrogen did ANYTHING to change your body. she was shocked when i told her it literally changes your physiology. she didn't know about the fat redistribution or anything.

i was like "girl? I have boobs?" and she goes "oh well i don't wanna be offensive but i just thought you used to be fat and it just happened to work out well?" LIKE?????????????????????????? and then i realized 99.999999% of people are the same way, allies and bigots alike. nobody is working to understand, they're just taking stances

[aprilbundoll]

FALL OFF??

[jvlianbashir]

horror movies are so much scarier when the actors look like an average sampling of the human population. and the house is a little messy

[jvlianbashir]

when everyone has veneers and the house is pristine and tastefully decorated: (in the back of my mind) these people were hand-selected for visual appeal. this is a set. this is a story

when the actor has a little acne and there are dirty dishes in the sink: aaaaahhhhh this is just like Me and My House ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

[pickapea]

when everyone has veneers and the house is pristine and tastefully decorated: (in the front of my mind) these people had it coming