Lover Of Fandom

[thespectacularkyliegirl]

Like. Love. Respect.

I can't stop thinking about how, despite everything, everyone on the Hail Mary Project either liked, loved, or greatly respected Grace.

I just keep thinking about the parts of how the greatest minds of that generation followed him everywhere like ducklings, and listened to his every word, even copying some of his sayings, either because they liked them or it made them smile.

Yao Li-Jie and Olesya Ilyukhina instantly took to him. This man they had never met before, and they welcomed him with open arms.

When they first meet, Yao assures him that he, too, can be brave. And before that, we see him clapping him on the shoulder and joking with him as if he'd known Grace eons.

Olesya knew he was scared, and she tried to comfort him, telling him that he'd be dying in some pretty awesome company. She knew he was terrified, knew that there was nothing else that could be done, but she wanted him to know that he wouldn't be alone, that she and Yao would be with him.

Carl was his best friend during this entire process; he went with Grace everywhere. They made a life-form together, all while eating Grace's favorite candy and joking. He didn't hesitate to spend as much money as he could to see whatever experiment Grace came up with come full circle. And when the worst came, he told Grace that he could do it, that he knew who he was, and that he could do it.

Stratt saw he was sad and decided singing for him would make her feel better (she was right). When he got nervous and felt he didn't belong, she was always there to stop that line of thinking. Either by patting the back of his chair or pushing him forward so he could explain what was happening. She never let him fall to the back; she kept him front and center.

And I'm not sure if this was her or not, but when he was being taken away, his head was in someone's lap, and fingers were carding through his hair, trying to comfort him.

She packed everything she could for him, packed everything he loved in his pages as a way to say sorry, even though she knew it her apology would never be accepted.

And Stratt was lying, and she knew she was lying when she said Grace didn't have a family or friends, because he did.

And yeah, Grace never really saw that, because he didn't think that much of himself, but everyone else saw it; they became his friends, his family, his picket fence.

But saving the world got in the way, and I can't stop thinking of how if things hadn't gone so wrong, he would have hopefully figured out how much he meant to them all, not just because he was smart, but because they genuinely loved being with him, for him.

Even the security liked him.

His students love him.

Rocky, Adrian, and all of Erid adore him.

And despite everything that happened, I can't get over how loved this man was and is.

[grouphug33]

Sign of the Times

*All characters belong to Andy Weir; music belongs to Harry Styles

Stratt stared after Grace as he walked away. Something stirred uncomfortably in her gut. Some emotion of some kind.

She prodded her chest, trying to figure out what it was. The wind whipped her hair around her face. She glanced back at where Grace had disappeared to.

She could hear the sounds of music and singing, laughing and partying. Grace was in there somewhere, in the crowd. Knowing him, he was probably in the midst of the crowd, but still tucked away. For someone so vibrant and full of life and laughter, he had a particular way of tucking himself into a crowd, making himself invisible.

Steeling herself, she marched into the room. The karaoke stage was uninhabited. She quickly moved over to it. No one noticed. Not even Grace. Perhaps sometimes she was invisible too.

Eva took the mic in her hands and clicked the song she wanted. She began to sing.

Just stop your crying, it’s a sign of the times.

Slowly, heads turned.

Welcome to the final show.

All heads snapped to her. Grace did a double take. She made eye contact with him across the room. His eyes softened as he rested his head on his fist.

Hope you’re wearing your best clothes, she sang to him, noting with some amount of humor that sweater he had on.

You can’t bribe the door on your way to the sky. You look pretty good down here.

Her eyes swept the room, but she sung the next verse for herself.

But you ain’t really good.

She swallowed.

We never learn we been here before. Why are we always stuck and runnin’ from the bullets?

Her eyes flicked back to Grace. Never had she seen a look of such adoration directed at her before. His eyes swam with affection and gentleness. Was he her friend? The thought shocked her.

The bullets.

We never learn we been here before. Why are we always stuck and runnin’ from the bullets?

She tore her eyes away from him.

The bullets.

She took a deep breath, drawing in all her anger and fear and concern. But most of all, her hope. She glanced at Grace. Her hope.

Just stop your crying, it’s a sign of the times!

She belted it. The room erupted in cheers, shot glasses shooting up in the air, spilling drinks, and claps rippled through the small area. Grace was silent. But his smile had grown wider.

We gotta get away from here!

We gotta get away from here.

Just stop your crying, it’ll be alright.

They told me that the end is near.

Her eyes scanned the room. Her team. Her crew.

We gotta get away from here!

She calmed her voice.

Just stop your crying, have the time of your life.

Breaking through the atmosphere.

She took a breath.

And things are pretty good from here.

Perhaps they were. Perhaps she could find comfort in knowing these people were here.

She deliberately met Grace’s gaze. She held it as she finished her song.

Remember everything will be alright.

He smiled softly at her.

We can meet again somewhere.

Her heart clenched, but she had to finish.

Somewhere far away from here.

His smile was soft and small now. For a brief moment, she saw that alternate timeline. The somewhere far away from here.

When they sent the Hail Mary up, she saw the two of them working side by side to keep the world running.

She saw him making jokes and smiling that smile that never died. The one that got her out of bed in the morning.

She saw them actually growing close to one another. Allowing it to happen. Becoming friends. No, not just friends. Best friends. A half and a half making a whole.

She saw them sitting on a couch somewhere, eating food and watching a crappy TV show.

She saw her curled into his shoulder afterwards, his head resting on hers, like they fit together. And she knew all this time she had been searching for him.

This man who could calm her, bring her back to Earth, who was the water to her fire, her smile to her frown, her calm to her storm.

A transcendent friendship.

But it was not to be. She had a job. And so did he. One he didn’t even know about yet.

Her throat tightened, and she released her grip on the mic. “Alright, that’s enough,” she said bluntly. With one last look at Grace’s soft expression, she took off, back to fresh air, where she could see the waves beneath her.

And on the deck of the ship, she let herself crumple to a ball on the floor of the ship, hands still gripping the railing, as she fought to control her breathing. She wasn’t just killing her friend. She was killing her future. Their future.

She glanced up at the stars slowly winking into view. Something calmed her beating heart then. Like she knew something up there would watch over him, take care of him, when she couldn’t anymore.

A single tear slid down her cheek. She grabbed it with the tip of her pointer finger and flung it into the ocean. Then she stood back up.

Grave stepped out onto the deck.

“That was freaking awesome,” he said.

She almost laughed and cried at the same time.

“You’d best be getting to bed, Doctor Grace,” she said.

“You okay?” he asked, head tilting to the side like a confused puppy.

She did something that night she would never do again. She walked up to him and clasped his hand between both of hers, indulging for a moment in the idea of a future friendship between them that would never truly come to be.

“I’m fine, Ryland.”

He blinked, startled. She let go of his hand.

“We’re friends, right?” he asked.

“I don’t think so, Doctor Grace.”

He didn’t even look offended. Just smiled slightly. “But we could be, right? Someday?”

“Yes,” she breathed. “We could be.” She took in a breath. “Goodnight, Doctor Grace.”

He smiled. “Goodnight, Eva.”

It was the first and last time she ever heard her name on his lips.

[grouphug33]

The way every day I wake up and delude myself into thinking today is the day we get the Doomsday trailer is a talent.

[grouphug33]

Doom has a Latverian accent. Professor Xavier sees an Incursion. Shang-Chi and Gambit fight. Mystique turns into Yelena. Steve and Thor reunited.

THOR AND DOCTOR DOOM FIGHT?????

This trailer sounds AWESOME!!!!!

And we found out we’re getting extra scenes in the Avengers: Endgame rerelease AND we’re getting a NEW PREMIUM MOVIE THEATER FORMAT DEBUTING WITH ENDGAME RERELEASE AND DOOMSDAY!!!!!!

MARVEL FANS!!! WAKE UP! LOOK ALIVE! WE FREAKING WON!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[grouphug33]

Everyone says the Doomsday trailer is coming today. It really feels like an energy palpable in the air. But I’ve been burned too many times and trying so hard not to get my hopes up. GUYYSSSSSS!!!!! I will actually scream if we get it tonight. This whole movie feels like a fever dream and I can’t wait till we get to see real footage of it. Give me my Loki and Bob back.

Also here’s the other question: if we get the trailer tonight, do we or do we not get to see Doom?

If we don’t I may just throw my phone out the window, idk, that’s just me. SHOW ME DOOM!!!!

[grouphug33]

Eva and Grace’s dynamic is so important to me. They’re in love platonically. Like, that’s not a common dynamic. She put the way he likes his coffee into the ship’s computer. He follows her around like a puppy. In the book, she cracks jokes with him and him only. She cares about his opinion. He was the only one she asked about the coma gene, wondering if it was worth it.

He’s her best friend, and she doesn’t even know it. They’re so close, that in the book, people think they’re sleeping together, and poor Grace is so confused because he thought that was his platonic work wife, wdym people think we’re sleeping together, that’s my person that I crack jokes with and then she glares at me because they’re not funny.

She’s softer with him than anybody else and is only ever vulnerable around him. We see in the movie, he’s the only one who ever gets her to smile, and sometimes even laugh, and then she serenades all of them, but mainly him, and he stares at her with those big, shiny eyes so lovingly, and she points at him when she sings, “everything’s gonna be alright”, and then she gives him those eyes, so loving.

And then she’s trying to stop herself from crying when she’s sending him away because, against her will, he’s become her person, and somewhere along the way, she’s become his, and they will have forever ended this relationship on bad terms, and nothing can fix that.

It’s a platonic tragedy. It’s a platonic love story. This is something we don’t get often, or, like, ever, and it’s deep and it’s tragic and it’s sad.

But even after, Eva’s still taking care of him. Packing clothes she knew would bring him comfort. Programming the ship to know how he likes his coffee. And Grace is still watching out for her, speaking to her directly in his video logs, with that same lopsided smile he used to throw her way.

He uses Rocky’s sign for goodbye, and she uses it back, and how did this book and movie give us such a deep platonic friendship because, guys, this NEVER HAPPENS.

Eva and Grace, the platonic male/female friendship of all time.

[ryeontop]

If you like platonic male/female love storys, you’ll love Elementary on Prime or the pirating service of your choice.

[grouphug33]

Yesss! Thank you! I’ve heard of that! I will definitely have to check it out now tho! Already a huge Sherlock Holmes fan so I’d bet I’d like it for that reason too. Thank you for the suggestion!

[grouphug33]

One of the most not-talked about lines in the Project Hail Mary movie is when Grace and Eva are both outside on Stratt’s Vat, looking out into the sunset, and Grace is just rambling on (as our favorite microbiologist tends to do ❤️), and he says, “Sorry, I know I must be bothering you” or something to that effect, and Eva shakes her head and gets this soft look on her face and replies, “You don’t bother me.” And she’s being so sincere and so gentle, and it’s perhaps the most sincere thing she says to him the whole movie, and since he’s still talking, he doesn’t even hear her say it.

He thinks he’s been annoying Eva Stratt this whole time, and when he finally says it out loud, she very quickly and gently moves to deny it, and I just think that one, tiny line added something to their bond. Everything bothers her. She has the literal WORLD on her shoulders, so much pressure. The one thing that doesn’t bother her is Dr. Ryland Grace. The hopelessly optimistic man who makes bad jokes and rambles for ages.

And he missed her saying it 😭. I like that she then sings the song afterwards though, because she doesn’t know how to calm his nerves, any of their nerves, so she sings a song about saying goodbye and that everything will be OK while staring at him the entire time. Not only does he not bother her, he gets her to be human again for a moment and just…be a person. A person singing karaoke.

Dr. Ryland Grace never bothered her, and he was perhaps the only one who never did.

[grouphug33]

Eva and Grace’s dynamic is so important to me. They’re in love platonically. Like, that’s not a common dynamic. She put the way he likes his coffee into the ship’s computer. He follows her around like a puppy. In the book, she cracks jokes with him and him only. She cares about his opinion. He was the only one she asked about the coma gene, wondering if it was worth it.

He’s her best friend, and she doesn’t even know it. They’re so close, that in the book, people think they’re sleeping together, and poor Grace is so confused because he thought that was his platonic work wife, wdym people think we’re sleeping together, that’s my person that I crack jokes with and then she glares at me because they’re not funny.

She’s softer with him than anybody else and is only ever vulnerable around him. We see in the movie, he’s the only one who ever gets her to smile, and sometimes even laugh, and then she serenades all of them, but mainly him, and he stares at her with those big, shiny eyes so lovingly, and she points at him when she sings, “everything’s gonna be alright”, and then she gives him those eyes, so loving.

And then she’s trying to stop herself from crying when she’s sending him away because, against her will, he’s become her person, and somewhere along the way, she’s become his, and they will have forever ended this relationship on bad terms, and nothing can fix that.

It’s a platonic tragedy. It’s a platonic love story. This is something we don’t get often, or, like, ever, and it’s deep and it’s tragic and it’s sad.

But even after, Eva’s still taking care of him. Packing clothes she knew would bring him comfort. Programming the ship to know how he likes his coffee. And Grace is still watching out for her, speaking to her directly in his video logs, with that same lopsided smile he used to throw her way.

He uses Rocky’s sign for goodbye, and she uses it back, and how did this book and movie give us such a deep platonic friendship because, guys, this NEVER HAPPENS.

Eva and Grace, the platonic male/female friendship of all time.

[grouphug33]

One of the things I would like to share with the world about Project Hail Mary is as follows:

Eva Stratt played the Trolley Problem with Ryland Grace. Her choice was the obvious choice. The only choice. You don’t sacrifice the five people on the train track to save the one. You don’t sacrifice the world to save one man. Grace alone is not as important as the entire world. Eva knew that. It’s why she did what she did. It was the only choice.

Rocky also played the Trolley Problem with Grace. However, Rocky made the stupid choice. He chose to save Grace after Grace crashed into the ship’s computers, risking his ENTIRE WORLD in the process. Grace even asks in the book: “Why would he sacrifice his planet for me?” And it’s just…guys…the PARALLELS. Both Eva and Rocky played the Trolley Problem with this man. Both loved him in their own ways. Cared about him. But Rocky, that little, amazing space rock, was so loyal, so loving, so incredibly dumb, and so incredibly brave, he picked the one over the five. He picked Grace over his world.

And it’s like…guys…Grace went his whole life thinking he was expendable and unimportant, which hit the hardest when Eva (admittedly not so easily, but Grace didn’t realize that at the time) threw him to the endless stars to save the world.

And then here comes this little creature who loves Grace unconditionally, enough to give up his whole world to save him. Grace went his whole life thinking his life didn’t matter, and this one Eridian, his Rocky, said, “Bitch, please. You matter to me more than ANYTHING.” And was willing to give up his world for this stupid, brave human that was now his.

I’m gonna make myself cry writing this, wtf.

[grouphug33]

Annie (2014) is one of my comfort movies. I put it on the other day, and just why do people hate this movie??? I love it so much!!! There’s so much great comedy (them making fun of Twilight never gets old), Mr. Stacks slowly letting down his walls for Annie is always so cute, and even though the relationship with Grace and Mr. Stacks was kinda shoehorned into the movie, they still had so much chemistry! The awkward flirting that Annie kept picking up on was so funny and so cute!

From a critical perspective, no, it is not the best movie that was ever made. But it always gives me such a warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest, and for 2 hours, I forget what I was worried about before.

I love this movie so much!!!!

[grouphug33]

I remember the days Thunderbolts* was flooding Tumblr. Good times

[grouphug33]

Guys I lowkey changed my mind after Andor season 2 episode 9. Mon Mothma is my new favorite character in this show. Girl ATE. That speech made me want to get up off my couch and fly into battle in an X-Wing. The bravery, the poise, the aura, the way that speech was delivered! “The distance between what is said and what is known to be true is an abyss.” That line hit hard!

Mon Mothma, the woman you are.

[grouphug33]

More Dedra thoughts: one of the most tragic things about her, in my opinion, is that she will never change. Like I don’t think she can.

This life of black and white, of stoicism, of lovelessness, of hiding smiles and vulnerability, is ingrained into her. There is nothing else. And because it’s such a core part of who she is, I don’t think anything could change it. Not love, not kindness, not heroic speeches, nothing.

And that’s so, so tragic to me. To live with so much coldness that it becomes you, until you can be nothing else.

But sometimes, sometimes, warmth peaks through. When she tells Syril it’s good to see him happy. When Syril moves to kiss her on the cheek, and she lets her eyes close for a moment as he does so.

But those are only small moments. I don’t think there’s anything that could make them large moments, and it’s like a Shakespearean tragedy. She is SUCH a tragic character, and she is so incredibly well-written.

It’s like she only comes close to feeling and understanding what love could be, but never fully grasps it.

As strange as it is, she might be my favorite character in Andor. She has so many layers, so many pieces of her to unpack.

[grouphug33]

I’m finally watching Andor since I’m finally at an age where I can appreciate it. I’m like halfway through season 2, and I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but I think Dedra is such a tragic character.

She essentially grew up without love or tenderness or gentleness. This harshness is all she knows. She can’t even smile without practicing first, and there is something so horrifically sad about that.

Like with Syril, she comes close to something that resembles love, but even that is more fake than real, because she’s kind of just using him. She doesn’t recognize the fact that she cares for him, and she doesn’t understand that she could love him, because love is not an emotion in her arsenal.

And this is why I find it so much easier to feel sorry for Dedra than a character like Anakin. Anakin had love and support and family. He had every reason not to turn to the dark side, and he did it anyway, slaughtering children and force-choking his pregnant wife while he was at it.

But Dedra’s rise to evil is tragic, because it’s all she’s known: this black and white, and the absence of love and gentleness. She can’t be vulnerable, she can’t be soft, and even though she’s a space fascist, I don’t know, something in me feels bad for this character.

And that type of writing is immaculate. To create someone so evil, but as the show digs deeper into her character, I don’t know, you just ache for her.

Or maybe that’s just me, I don’t know.

[grouphug33]

I rewatched the Loki season 2 finale yesterday, and of the most tragic parts of the episode that I feel gets slept on is Loki and Sylvie’s parting. Cause think about it: we go through this whole season thinking Sylvie is angry with Loki, potentially wanting nothing to do with him anymore.

But then we get to episode 4, where she tells Loki that “soft gets you killed.” She’s just trying to protect herself the only way she knows how: by not letting herself rely on one person, by not leaning on a person. And then that same episode, we see the way they work and fight in tandem with one another. Like, they’re two halves of the same whole.

Then episode 5, Sylvie tries to hep Loki move on, and then goes to the CD shop to listen to sad music and replay that conversation over in her head while tearing up.

But then you get to episode 6. Loki goes out to the door that will lead him into the gangway. And Sylvie breaks. She is pounding on that door, yelling for him to come back. Then when he steps out onto the gangway, she’s running up the stairs, literally saying, “I need to get out there.” No more is she pretending she doesn’t have feelings for him. She wants to find a way to get out there with him.

But there’s no way. So we see her just watch him walk out there and grab the Timelines, while crying. And the last person Loki turns to look at before he steps through to the End of Time is Sylvie. And she gives him a small smile and a dip of her head, letting him go.

It is TRAGIC. The whole season she wouldn’t allow herself to get close to him. She only finally acknowledged how much she needed him when he was leaving.

But he gave her a chance. A chance to be free and fight for that freedom. Because, in the end, it was her stubbornness, her desire to do everything necessary to obtain the best outcome for the Multiverse, that finally pushed Loki to do what needed to be done. He gave her the free will she had always needed, and the free will she had been fighting for for everyone else.

And we all know he’s watching over her. For all time. Always.

[grouphug33]

One of my favorite things about Loki season 2 episode 3 (and there isn’t much I like about that particular episode) is the Loki and Sylvie angst. Like Sylvie tried to accuse Loki of dropping in to “ruin her life”, which does come off as snobbish and ridiculous at first, until the scene unfolds and you realize she was deliberately trying to hold him at arm’s length.

Because then she lets her emotions show as she pleads with him to not let Timely into the TVA, and you can see the girl she was come out, the girl who was taken by the TVA, as she opens her walls again for him.

And then the voice break when she says this fight they’re having is familiar. She didn’t actually think he ruined her life when he showed up at her work the previous episode. She just wanted to push him away again, because she knows how much he means to her. And the episode reveals that when we see the heartbreak in her that they’re on opposite sides of an argument.

It’s like, “No, Sylvie, please! He’ll take care of you! All he wants is to take care of you! Don’t push him away!”

[grouphug33]

If we actually get the Doomsday trailer during the Super Bowl, I will never roll my eyes at football ever again as long as I live