Güegüense

As a Latina traveling to Nicaragua, I am both scared and excited. I know that I have an upper hand because I can speak Spanish fluently. However, cultural norms and gender roles abroad scare me. I don't want my big mouth to get me into trouble. Yet, I think trouble will find me as I am one of four latino/a students on the trip. The rest, a total of 15, are white students. Güengüense is a Nicaraguan term for a two-faced character in a folklore dance. These are my complaints, criticisms, any annoyances. Enjoy.

[gueguense]

Your blog on the stupid things white people do is hilarious!! I'm Guatemalan and me and my other Spanish friends talk about white people making fools of themselves all the time! Don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are white but just some of the things they do are like really?!? like dancing. Me and my Spanish friend went to a party last night and we were making fun of the white people that can't dance (; keep up the funny!

Well on  the topic of dancing, this reminds me of the time my boyfriend and I were in El Salvador with the group. He is Salvadorean and loves to dance merengue. The last night there we went to a small club and there was alot of salsa music. Another friend of mine, she's also Mexican was trying to teach my boyfriend some fancy turns so we could dance salsa.

Then out of nowhere this white girl from our group grabs him and tries teaching him how to dance. I was laughing from far away. I was like girl you have no rhythm and you think you can show him how to dance.

OMG! He was so embarrassed but too polite to tell her to fuck off because he knew how to dance.

[gueguense]

I Guess It's Lockdown Time

  Demonstrations in Managua: December 3, 2011   This message is being issued to alert U.S. citizens to demonstrations that have been planned for the morning of Saturday, December 3rd in Managua.   Political opposition and civil society groups are planning a march in protest of the recent national elections.  The march is scheduled to begin at 9:00 a.m. at the Rotonda Centroamerica and end at the Supreme Electoral Council headquarters near the Rotonda Metrocentro.   Typically, protests in Managua take place at major intersections or rotundas.  Activities observed during past protests include, but are not limited to, the use of tear gas, rubber bullets, fireworks, rock-throwing, tire burning, road blocks, bus/vehicle burning and physical violence between members of rival political parties.  Police have often been slow to respond, and reluctant to interfere in violent confrontations between rival political factions. 

[gueguense]

I'm also stupid, sometimes

So my accent, I speak Spanish with a Chicana dialect, sometimes fucks me over and some people (taxi drivers) try to take advantage of me.

In order to avoid this I usually do counterintuitive things like take the shittiest taxi in sight.

You know, I get on and just try to avoid the fact that the engine light is on, or that the car smells like its leaking gas, or that the back bumper might be completely missing.

I figure, his car is so fucked up he is desperate to give people taxi rides at decent prices.

I mean it doesn't matter if the driver is half blind, literally with only one eye.

He'll take me where ever I need to go for 22 cordobas or less (the equivalent of U$1)

I also try to get into taxi's with only old drivers. You know like grandfather or great grandfather status.

I figured they are just trying to make a living and won't consider mugging me.

Unlike younger taxi drivers that can try to take advantage of me.

I've been lucky enough to not be in an accident while in a taxi.

I don't want to jinx this too early but I'm going to continue to use these standards when getting into taxi's.

P.S. One of my biggest pet peeves is getting into a taxi with the other students and then they immediately think its ok to talk english.

Like wtf! I don't want this guy to know I can speak English.

I usual respond in spanish in hopes that the guy won't think of me as someone from the US.

Damn white kids why do you always have to break my cover.

[gueguense]

Just for giggles

I was walking with one of the (white) guys the other day through the park talking about their false sense of security, and out of nowhere some of the guys at the park start yelling:

Ey! Ey! Justin Beiber! Justin Beiber! Goodnight.

I couldn't (and still cannot) keep a straight face. I was like wow, you are being compared to a teenage boy that looks like a girl. I mean he doesn't look like Justin Beiber, he just happens to be white, blonde haired, and blue eyed. I think what makes it more hilarious for me is because I know his personality. He is a very serious econ/poli sci/ debate team kind of guy.

I also get the sudden urge to call him Justin Beiber.

[gueguense]

I'm planning to get that tatted on my body as a reward to finishing my research paper.

The artist that is doing it is really good at what he does and has clean facilities.

Our academic advisor recommended this place to us.

I want to get my mom's name (in the body that leads to the tail) as well as my sisters initials and mine (in the tail feathers)

I'm getting it for $150 and it'll go from my hip to my thigh.

Any thoughts?

[gueguense]

do you have any more stories about the white girls acting like fools?

Plenty. Most of the time it just involves the false sense of security they have while traveling abroad.

Personally for me no matter how good an opportunity might seem I would approach it with caution but some girl who is doing her project on turtles decided that she would sail off to the ocean with some strangers to go dig up turtle nest and camped out on the island. This island was about 2hrs away from land in the middle of no where (Pearl Keys).

I mean it sounds cool and all but if shit goes down who's going to hear you scream? the turtles?

I'll think of more and post them up.

[gueguense]

Questions and Distractions!

I know almost all of us are on stress mode right now because it just so happens to be finals week wherever you may be.

Or like me might have a research paper due in exactly one week.

The solution.

I've allowed questions to be asked.

I even allowed anonymous mode.

If the questions get out of hand then I will disable it.

But for now I think the questions can provide alot of much needed humor during this stress period.

I'll try to answer them when I need a break from my paper.

Much love,

Angeliquita

[gueguense]

I'm getting more impatient

I want to go home already

I miss my mom's home cooking

I miss my spicy Mexican food.

I woke up dreaming about a nice plate of posole.

and I miss warm showers!

Water is scarce in Nicaragua. The government lets everyone with access to water have it until only 10am. Those that are lucky and can afford a water tank fill it while water is accessible. So I let the water sit in the tank until about 2pm and then shower with lukewarm water. It's better than showering at 8am with freezing water (I think the water comes from the lake or ocean)!!

I mean I love my family here but I think that my legs have been mutilated enough by mosquito bites (pictures up soon).

I also have a reaction to bug bites where my skin around the area of the bite swells up. Not cute.

I have to spray RAID in my room at night to prevent being eaten alive while I sleep.

The weather is still at 90degrees!

I forgot what it feels like to wear sweaters for winter or cuddle under a blanket for warmth.

I can't wait to be home for christmas.

I miss my Mexican tamales, my tortillas de maiz that aren't the size of my face, and CHEESE!

I can't eat milk products abroad because most of them are whole milk or unpasteurized and they make my tummy sick.

My host family has been good about making sure I don't get sick off the food. This just means that most of my food tends to be bland.

White rice and beans for 4 months, not so yummy now.

I miss diversity.

I realize how priveldged I am to have diversity in my life.

Diversity in languages, cultures, food!

I miss my Indian, Thai, and Salvadorean food.

I miss hearing people talk Spanglish.

I also miss fresh air.

Today is trash day and on trash day if your trash does not make onto the dump truck most people burn it. (YES THIS IS EXTREMELY BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT)

So now the air is polluted and smells like shit.

Oh well, two more weeks until I go home.

P.S. I am going to stop tagging this with Nicaragua in case my study abroad groups follows the Nicaragua tag on tumblr.

[gueguense]

Fcuk! (spelled incorrectly to avoid being reprimanded)

Nature finally got the best of me.

It fucked up my Macbook charger :(

The plastic on the charger melted from the heat!

Now I have to either pay $160!!! for a new one or suffer the next 9 days writing my 25-30 page research paper on a 199X desktop.

FML

I am not about to spend 160$ for a charger, my Macbook thankfully has insurance. I'll have to wait until I get back to the US to get a new one.

For now I'll borrow someone else's.

It just makes me wonder how other students/teachers/other people that use computers do it.

Oh wait, computers here are only for the most privileged.

That means that even the most privileged can afford a mac charger I can't.

Being poor student abroad sucks.

[gueguense]

I thought some of you might want to look at a picture of the characters in this drama.

There are more brown faces because some of our host family members in El Salvador are in the picture . This day we were at Radio Victoria, a community radio station, helping with the schedule of the day.

[gueguense]

More on these streets

So lately I've been trying not to be such a buzzkill so I've gone out to bars with the few students that are in Managua.

Bars here are great because they aren't the weird U.S. kind where you just sit, drink, and talk.

Here you get to drink a little and dance alot!Merengue, bachata, salsa. All the good stuff that makes for a happy night. But then of course we are with the rest of the group -_-

Previously I din;t like to go out to the bar/club scene with the group because image us rolling deep with some 14 white kids. It's like trouble waiting to happen.

But now there's like 7 of them so I figured it wouldn't hurt to go out.

Last weekend we went as a group to dinner at the most expensive mall there is in Managua -_- (I paid 5$ for three tacos! WTF! Tacos are like $1 in the States.)

Anyways, after we eat we all find out that the meal took most of our money. We have enough to probably get a beer and take a taxi home.

But for some reason alot of nonsense happens and we end up at a local bar near our homestay.

The bar is in a pretty afluent community, mixed drinks were $4-5.  More nonsesnse happens (i get a free shot!)  and we decide its time to leave.

But it wouldn't be a complete night with out that one white girl.

She thinks its pretty safe for her to walk home alone, and its a beautiful night so why not enjoy the fresh air! -_-

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!

Then I tell her its not safe, no one is out this late walking.

If locals won't do it, why are you doing it?

So we they spend a few minutes convincing her to take the cab back.

When we are finally in the taxi I decide that we are going to take it to her house and Moises, another friend, and I will walk home from her house.

It was like if I had scolded a five year old! She started arguing back that we didnt need to take her all the way home and she wanted to walk and blah blah blah

FINE BITCH! I am not about to put my life at risk for yours. I get the taxi to drop us off at my house and she walked home.

Don't get me wrong if something would have happened to her I would have felt like shit. But wtf! there is only so much I can do. She is a 20yr old woman, if she wants to put her life at risk I am not about to stop her. I am also not about to put my own life at risk to stop her.

More on this one girl, she lost her wallet and kept quiet about it. Why? Because she believed her homestay family had stolen it from her! WTF! Take responsibility for being drunk and stupid and loosing shit.

I don't want to judge a book by its cover but this girl is easily one of the most sheltered people I have met.

[gueguense]

This is the city where horses roam the streets.

The same streets that have no names. If you are luck you won't get lost, better yet if you happen to look like a local (like me) the streets won't take advantage of you.

Depending on your skin color, white, black or brown, the streets will respond to you a differently.

Some consider having white skin a blessing, a shield against all dangers, (shit I told my momma I was going to be safe in Nicaragua because I was traveling with a group of white people); but other call it a target and just like a stranger offering candy to a baby some of these whites are stupid enough to take.

For example: They still don't understand the sexualized culture they are in. They think its ok to talk to unknown men on the streets and still be "just friends." WTF! If you give a stranger your phone number don't complain when is is texting you inappropriate things! Also when hooking up with a random guy at some bar, do expect them to come looking for you the next day. Why would he (random guy at the bar) leave it as a one night stand when he can continue seeing you and get sooo much street cred.

Oh that's right you also need a lesson on street cred. -_-

[butttchester-deactivated2015073]

[gueguense]

lol and so that my study abroad group doesn't read my rants

[gueguense]

Everyday I have been commuting by taxi back and forth between my homestay and where my advisor's office is.

So far I have spent U$20 on taxi fees when the local bus would have been less than a U$1 for the whole week.

At times I just get the sudden urge to take the bus because dammit I don't want to spend so much money on a taxi.

But then again I am scared of getting robbed on a bus or sexually harrassed.

For a while, I had a head ache because I was so stressed over my safety.

We started our individual projects and we are pretty much on our own.

I think its pretty contradictory for the program to tell us that we should not go anywhere alone but then expect us to magically do our individual projects together.

I'm sorry but I am still scared of this goddamn place.

Every evening on the news you see the gory images of someone who was shot/stabbed/beat up.

Realistically, Nicaraguans are suffering alot because of the bad economy. Huge unemployment and most people are in the informal sector trying to make ends meet everyday.

I am obviously aware.

There are times when people are really kind to me but I can't help but question their motives.

I can't help it if I get into a taxi and have a bitch face.

I can't help it that if you are trying to be nice and hold a conversation with me, I won't respond.

I just don't want anyone to know that I am a foreigner.

I want to survive this semester and go home to my family and friends.

Deciding to study abroad in an underdeveloped country has been a reality check for me. I understand the safety concerns women have to face everyday. In a few months I will be gone.

But the women here will not escape the reality.

P.S. The above link is just to prove how atrevidos foreigners are. Unfortunately someone's life was taken. I told ya'll I was scared of nature.

[ablt-archive-blog]

Visit Original Link

[tumblegags]

JUST PRESS PLAY.

Anybody who grew up in the 90’s and doesn’t know this song is a deprived child.

This song will haunt me even when i’m dead.

started dancing in my seat.

FOREVER REBLOG <3

 THE MEMORIES

[gueguense]

I really needed this. My 25-30pg research project is killing me softly.

[gueguense]

I survived Nicaraguan elections!!

OMG! I wish elections in the states were just as fun and fradualent. Just kidding.

U.S. elections are fraudulent but not fun :(

Here I was able to go with my homestay sister and niece and nephew to vote. I actually went into the polling center, a school, but I just stood outside the classroom while they voted.

We had been warned by our academic advisor that we should stay with our families because riots might break out -_-

She also told us that some of the homestay families might be making bombs! and using mortars (bomb projectiles).

I currently live in the Colonia Maximo Jerez which is largely a FSLN/Danielista community.

By 8pm we could here people cheering for the Sandinista victory in winning the majority for Maximo Jerez.

My 9 year old niece and I decided to head over to the school to celebrate.

The ballots hadn't even been taken out of the center yet and people where already playing drums in the street singing the famous "Nicaragua Truinfara" song and dancing.

Fireworks and mortars were being set off.

It was a big "fiesta civil" as the news put it.

People were burning the PLI's, opposing party, flag.

And instead of enjoying the moment, the other study abroad students felt it necessary to update their status constantly about their opinions on the elections.

Seriously like wtf! You are here for a couple of months. Most of you said you knew nothing about Nicaragua before you came. Many of you also said you had to point to a map to show your parents and family where the hell you were going and now you want to update your status about how fradualent and unfair the elections are.

Shit you don't even live here! There is nothing you can or should do.

....

[gueguense]

The Help

I have never actually seen the movie but I did read a review about it in Colorlines.

However that is not why I have titled the post "The Help." As some of you may know I came back about a week ago from El Salvador with my study abroad class.

It sucked A$$!!!!

I am usually not this mad or antisocial but come on I had to live with these people 24/7 for 10 DAYS!!!

Moises and I seriously bought some Flor de Caña (Nicaraguan rum) at the airport to help us survive.

The first couple of days weren't so awful because I had a room to myself in the hotel. Oh and by the way our whole group occupied a hotel! We traveled with all 19 students our academic director and Cristina (this is her alias).

El Salvador was GREAT! BEAUTIFUL! and I want to go back, ALONE or with Moises and his family.

Anyways back to the drama on why I was called "the help."

Scenario One: The staff from our first hotel ask me if I am related to _____________. And I politily respond no. For some reason they give me an explanation to who __________ is. ______________ is a Nicaraguan female that in the past traveled with the group of students as the help. They say I look so much like her. I smile, grab my food, and don't say a word.

This is when the drama begins. Unfortunately, this first incident on the second day of the trip set me up for what was to happen.  I realized I would have to explain to everyone how I was a student and not "the help." Just because I looked different, "like a local," and have tan BROWN skin did not fucken give anyone the right to undermine me as the groups help/translator. Like WTF!

Scenario Two: Is in the quote below. Some random lady in the middle of her introduction turns to me in front of the whole group and asks me if I understand English! Seriously she was in the middle of the sentence when she just pointed me out and I am not the only Chicana/o student on this trip!

Scenario Three: Yes third times the charm or whatever that saying is. This time it was even harder because it happened with a nun from the catholic church. Sister Peggy was actually pretty cool but it was the way she interacted with me that was really offensive. We arrived in the city of Suchitoto and we get off the bus in her church. As we are getting off the bus she introduces herself to each one of us and we introduce ourselves as well. When she see's me she yells "Ah una Nicaraguense." And I'm like "American actually. Well my family is Mexican and I'm Chicana." And she's like "Oh that's great." Fast foward to the end of the day she is saying bye to us individually as we board the bus and she has some consejo for each of us. She gets to me, grabs my head and says "Be proud to be Mexican." while still holding me head. FREAKIN' WEIRD! All I could do was whisper "I am."

Our last day of the El Salvador we had a relfection circle (?) I don't really know what is was. We just said three positives of the program and three things we would change. I of course opened my mouth and was like "I would like to change peoples attitude toward students of color. It is not fair that everywhere we went people asked me if I was ______ sister. I was not taken seriously as an academic or as a student. People thought I was just here to translate."

Then my academic decides to say "Oh yeah people kept asking me why you were being so rude because they thought you were ____________ and I was like no thats not _______ thats a student." She said it in a way that made it seem like it was amusing to her. Like wtf! I feel so bad knowing people thought I was being rude for not saying hello but what can I do! I am not _______________.

Yes this is a rant. But I am in no way trying to implicate I would change who I am. It just sucks to know that even internationally, I have the pressure and weight of educating people about who I am.

And to further clarify the people who addressed me as "the help" where people who had worked with my study abroad program previously. Random Salvadoreans in the communities we visited were actually really nice.

So I think this program needs time to reflect and teach the so called community leaders we interact with about student diversity. Some sort of orientation about diversity in the U.S. should be done so that these assumptions about all students being blonde,blue-eyed, and tall are proven wrong.