Hello! You can call me Guile/Guileless. They/them. 3rd attempt at a blog where I can post without overthinking literally everything. Anything else you should know is in my pinned post!
Guileless (adj.) devoid of guile, honest and without deception.
Hello! This is a multifandom blog with a focus on x readers and OCs/self inserts x canon along with the occasional AU!
I tend to reblog a lot of things too, especially posts with (frequently real life) arachnids, bugs, insects, snakes, etc. and dabble in horror. So if you have a phobia of spiders or other creepy crawlies, my blog is unfortunately not suitable for you. Also, I wonât shy away from NSFW topics if they come up. These will be tagged as âen ess eff teeâ.
I used to take requests, but with how scattered my focus tends to be, requests are closed for⌠probably forever LMAO!! You can still ask things though! Just know itâll probably take 365 business days to get to it because Life Kind Of Sucks Sometimes
I get really anxious with followers and mutuals and such so uhh PLEASE do not ask to be friends!! I appreciate it but I cannot uphold online friendships for the life of me </3
DNIs⌠ehhh those donât really work. I will block terfs, exclusionists, racists, and other bigots on sight, as anyone with a brain should. I block freely in general.
Tag system under cut!
guileless-reblogs -> Reblogs.
guileless-screaming -> talking tag, used for low effort or random posts
guileless-adoration -> x reader/oc type posts, general simpery, weird posts that are kind of analysis and kind of desperately wanting to kiss my blorbos
guileless-creativity -> All my art, writing, headcanons, etc- any of my creativity, as it says on the tin.
guileless-art -> Specifically my drawings.
guileless-writing -> Specifically my writing.
guileless-answer -> Asks! I love this tag! Please let me use it!
enn ess eff tee -> nsfw posts. probs wont use this often if at all but itâs there.
pretentiousposting -> Posts where Iâve become angry at people and their meaningless incorrect opinions, usually in fandom matters like characterization and theories. Somewhere in between vents and normal posts. Iâm very rude in these.
bitter_yearning -> vents. hopefully a tag i wonât use often. please block this tag if you are uncomfortable with it.
not meant to be in any actual tags; apologies if this sleep deprived ramble ends up there somehow, this is quite negative about many popular ships
i think. hm. i think cyan x black is a bit of a notp for me.
i canât see it as being anything but toxic, at least in the beginning and middle, and itâs treated wayyyy too much like black secretly liked cyan and didnt get to confess and other such dumb shit. black did not like cyan. im sorry but they just didnt. they didnt even care about yelling at cyan until they realized cyan died. im not sure theyd even get along as ghosts. black would try to be more tolerant and just. fail. because they had started glamorizing cyan after cyanâs death and forgot how annoying they could be.
green x white is⌠mmmh. i can tolerate it in certain spaces. things id already started reading before the high of hearing jesseâs voice (one of my many dead wives, as you all know) again faded. i avoid it now. i become less and less tolerant of it by the day. i hear white and think âgoddamn it i need to pirate s2â i see white and think âeughhhh billionaire make it suffer. put acid in its blood and break its bone and watch it writheâ it also frustrates me to see such an interesting character next to⌠that. eugh
lime x blue is plain overrated. classic fandom shoving the same flavor of pie into my face and making me despise it scenario. too much of something that couldâve been good set off my repulsion and now i cant think about it without that part of me bristling. also i want more analysis/focus on blue by themselves and not in the context of shipping
brown x yellow is plain notp if romantic. full stop. i am so fucking tired of people shoving romance where it shouldnât be. theyâre better as friends. queerplatonic at most.
green x orangeâŚâŚ the problem is orange. they refuse to be a character. they refuse to be anything more than a corporationâs puppet. theyre complacent, happy in their strings, and i think thatâd just freak the hell out of green if anything. even a hypothetical crew green wouldnt get near that thing theyd get creeped out too
hmm. green x red x purple is. i like it. i⌠liked, it? i feel it going the route of lime x blue, i think. or maybe iâm just hungry (its 3am atm). i hope im just hungry, itâs a good ship with good dynamics, i have no reason but my own repulsion to dislike it
now for a few positives
lime x cyan. fuck yes this should not be such a rarepair as it is. lime should get cyan into yoga. cyan should get lime into crystals. lime should get cyan into conspiracy theories. cyan should get lime into zodiacs. they make each other so much worse to interact with when not with each other but so much better when together
purple x cyan. literally just black x cyan but better. i can still see the former fighting and such still (important for flavor) but not as toxic as the latter. little less interesting because of that but less talked about so my repulsion hasnt started hissing at it yet
orange x brown x yellow. yeah. yeah those two could fix that thing. dont know how theyâd do it but they would. theyâd get through to the husk with the power of friendship and teach it communism. theyâd SU that shit
brown x blue. brown x anyone, really. i like to think theyâre just as capable of swooning people with the right words as blue theyre just quiet. i like the idea of them making blue swoon especially
and of course me x green. best ship in the goddamn show i swear
ughghggggghh why must characters be so Complex whyyyyy must i need an entire preamble to get my ocs to fuck them this sucks
this is about Green. How do I get them and Tan to kiss. How do I get Green okay w being so vulnerable infront of Tan (and probably Maroon because theyâre attached at the hip) to do the thing. Wdym i have to write. Wdym it needs to be 50k words before they even genuinely like each other. Wdym it takes them fucking YEARS TO KISS LET ALONE FUCK. I CANT WAIT THAT LONG
ughghghhghgg Green pleasepleasepleaaaaase fall for Tanâs charm already you know Mars wont let you kill them and you made your crewsona facade love them so just accept the chin scritches and pets and kisses already. Pleeeeeeeaaaase get Tan to be vulnerable its hard but youâre smart you can do it. You know how to get people to open up. Cmonnnnn they wonât even care that youâre an alien they just care whether you kill the crew. Which you. You try to. But they keep thwarting you. Them and that Coral wacko with the weird smell. And you canât kill either of them because they both have fuckign guard dogs what the fuck
What else are you supposed to do Green. Come on. Youâve been pretending so long you know your maskâs attachment has leaked into you by now. You know it has so just keep roleplaying its not that hard. Now for the next step. Shalalalalala my oh my dont be shy you got to kiss the they
im not immune to the condition that makes you think "but what if the evil alien/robot/eldritch entity/whatever that kills everyone was nicies to me. because im literally chill and have good vibes."
Please return us to a world where Notp and squick are used for a ship you donât like instead of just making up a load of bullshit about how immoral it is or w/e lolÂ
a short selection of concepts and phrases that used to be commonplace in fandom and weâd really benefit from making that a thing again:
NOTP: the opposite of an OTP (One True Pairing). It is a ship a fan strongly dislikes. The word is a portmanteau of ânoâ and âOTPâ and thus is not a contraction of any particular phrase.
Squick: anything that is a deep-seated, visceral turn-off. Squicks may be shared by many fans or be specific to one; one personâs kink may be another personâs squick.
YKINMKATO, or kink-tomato: Your Kink Is Not My Kink, And Thatâs Okay: used to indicate support for fannish diversity and to distinguish between disapproval or kink shaming and simply having different taste.
DLDR: Donât Like, Donât Read: a phrase used to warn against complaints about an aspect of fic or meta. A âlive and let liveâ philosophy of fandom, which places the responsability for avoiding content one doesnât want to see on the side of the fanwork consumer, rather that on the creatorâs.
SALS: Ship And Let Ship: similar to the above specifically about shipping tastes.
YMMV: Your Mileage May Vary: a phrase used to acknowledge that any given individualâs personal opinion on the topic at hand may differ due to their own tastes, standards, values, experiences, etc.
As the OP points out, all of these crucially imply no moral judgment of what theyâre designing.
(definitions lifted more or less wholesale from fanloreâs relevant pages)
ughghggggghh why must characters be so Complex whyyyyy must i need an entire preamble to get my ocs to fuck them this sucks
this is about Green. How do I get them and Tan to kiss. How do I get Green okay w being so vulnerable infront of Tan (and probably Maroon because theyâre attached at the hip) to do the thing. Wdym i have to write. Wdym it needs to be 50k words before they even genuinely like each other. Wdym it takes them fucking YEARS TO KISS LET ALONE FUCK. I CANT WAIT THAT LONG
ughghghhghgg Green pleasepleasepleaaaaase fall for Tanâs charm already you know Mars wont let you kill them and you made your crewsona facade love them so just accept the chin scritches and pets and kisses already. Pleeeeeeeaaaase get Tan to be vulnerable its hard but youâre smart you can do it. You know how to get people to open up. Cmonnnnn they wonât even care that youâre an alien they just care whether you kill the crew. Which you. You try to. But they keep thwarting you. Them and that Coral wacko with the weird smell. And you canât kill either of them because they both have fuckign guard dogs what the fuck
What else are you supposed to do Green. Come on. Youâve been pretending so long you know your maskâs attachment has leaked into you by now. You know it has so just keep roleplaying its not that hard. Now for the next step. Shalalalalala my oh my dont be shy you got to kiss the they
havenât even played ch 5 yet (minimal spoilers pls. i have seen the lake scene though) but had a thought
you think the Thornring could be made of DT? maybe thatâs why it hurts Noelle so bad? like i know there are thorns in it (duh) but like. an additional reason. also kinda helps the trance effect it has on her. thatâd make the scene in ch 4 nonconsensual drugging along with everything else it is which i find very fun
GO MY AMONGI!!! I have a normal amount of thoughts about them
Insane design detail/HC ramblings under the cut. Warning for spoilers and also being insanely long
First and foremost, what are Amongi? Evolved from carnivorous plants the majority of their body is covered in fuzzy stem material, their 'hair' and dewlap are composed of leaves, the softness and volume of which can be used as indicators of health and/or stress.
Amongi sustain themselves on a mixture of sunlight and solid foods (Light fixtures are all designed with these needs in mind, though the artificial sunlight on the skeld is not very high quality). Though their digestive systems favor meat they, similar to humans, eat all sorts of things they arent supposed to because its yummy
Green
Despite their size they are shockingly strong (working on a farm full time will do that). They could lift just about any other crewmate with ease
Worms get significantly bigger in the Among us universe, though they start small they can reach girths comparable to a fully grown pig. Bull riding rowdy worms is a somewhat common pass for the more adventurous folks in the area.
After kissing those worms they gained a fear of being secretly attracted to worms, because of this they preferred to only work with very large worms which were more dangerous, could fight Green back they tried anything, and always required several people to help wrangle.
Their fear of doing something bad on the farm is part of what spurred them to want to leave and become a captain
White
White has albinism! Historically, Amongi that lived in low light environments had to hunt more to supplement their food supply and had certain biological differences to compensate. Being incapable of photosynthesis activated these usually dormant genes, giving them sharper teeth, a larger than usual appetite, and occasional urges that some may label cannibalistic. Not that White would indulge in something like that, drinking blud sounds unsanitary as hell.
Whites condition would be a death sentence to most, mostly cause healthcare in this universe is terribleeeeee and so expensive. Having an exorbitantly rich family is the only reason they are still around today, and they have to supplement their diet constantly in order to keep it that way. Their parents owning a pharmaceutical company certainly doesn't hurt.
Their albinism also causes pretty bad vision problems which they are oddly resistant to others finding out about. This makes them even worse at putting names to faces, and look douchey by wearing sunglasses inside
Because their supplements are basically just sugar pills they often mix them with their wine and other food. Any other crewmate trying their food would be revolted and bewildered by how sweet everything is, including the savory foods.
Red
Spikey or thinning dewlaps are a sign of sustained stress, or sickness. Red got hit with they double whammy, long term health issues from the radiation + guilt stress from betraying Purple
Hatesssss the texture of their uniform so much and only wears the top half unless absolutely necessary. If you want Red outta the crocks you gotta beg tho, those babies are practically glued to their gross little claw feet
Adopted later in life and never fully bonded with their parents. Developed chronic lying as a way to get attention and never really grew out of it
Purple
Crunchy dewlap and poor health from the reactor meltdown. Despite being unemployable for a while their health and stress is actually still better than Red's. Only by a little tho.
Cut off contact with their family as soon as they were able to. They worked on planet odd jobs for a while and jumped at the opportunity to get off world with a MIRA internship
Blue
During certain times of year, or otherwise preparing to reproduce(for some this can be triggered by something as simple as spending too much time with a crush) Amongi will go into 'bloom', a state that emphasizes attractive features and produces pheromones to entice other Amongi. Blue has a rather mortifying condition that means they are in bloom year round, regardless of their preferences.
Worries about their condition influencing patients, especially patients who may be sick, drugged, or otherwise unsound of mind, means they are nearly obsessively cleaning pheromone pollen out of their fur. Being so well groomed unfortunately just adds to their attractiveness
Lime
Constantly mistaken for being waaaay older than they are cause of their terrible self care making them look crusty and decrepit.
Lowkey agoraphobic. Being able to spend all day for weeks on end in vents avoiding people and open spaces has very much exasperated the issue
They are probably the lightest member of the crew, a mixture of getting poor light in the vents and an aversion to leaving the vents to get food, especially when other people are in the cafeteria. When the kitchen staff notice they start conspicuously leaving food in/near the cafe vent
Objectum <3. Things cant betray you. They have crushes on a few of their tools and a particular fascination with the reactor
Orange
This is directly contradicted by canon but HC Orange was already an Imposter, and had been for several years before the Skeld incident. Their position meant they were already aware of Aliens when they got infected, and as a result were able to keep their head and not murder anyone. MIRA offered them a life of comfort beyond what would be attainable just following their instincts.
The real orange had a FiancĂŠ, and a close relationship with their parents. After being infected they broke off their relationship and buried themself in their work. They still visit Orange's family on holidays, both parties are happy to see each other, but the relationship is strained now. Orange cant bare to see them the rest of the year.
They think a lot about the life Orange would have been living if they hadn't been infected. They'd be married by now. They'd still have a close relationship with their parents. Orange wanted kids once. That'll never have that, not in the same way at least. They don't know whether to consider Orange themself, or just a dead memory they're in charge of now. They can't tell if they're guilty or mourning. Mostly they try not to think about it.
Yellow
In a QPR with Brown
Has a history of having their intelligence/capabilities questioned because of their strabismus. Saw Brown being hired as a slight from management
Its kinda hard to tell but their hair is styled to look like flower from the back <3
Brown
In a QPR with Yellow
Scraped together money for law school with dreams of helping people, but only got a few semesters in before becoming disgusted with the whole system and quitting.
Between Fight or Flight they typically choose Freeze.
Cyan
Amongi are obligate carnivores, so while artificial/alternative meat does exist, Cyan's vegetarianism is quiet unusual and fringe
Cyan has so so sooo many piercings, mostly in places that cannot be mentioned. Their real tattoos are absolutely more intentional and interesting than generic flower patterns but I'm lazy and not figuring all that out.
They are always at least a little high. Usually more than a little. They hold their substances spectacularly
Black
Lowkey jealous and intimidated by the number of piercing and tattoos Cyan has.
As their 'hair' is just leaves getting a haircut is actually really painful and considered a body modification on par with getting a large tattoo
Since regular black ink shows up terribly on their skin and they gotta dish out for the expensive stuff anyway, they might as well go the whole nine yards. All their tattoos are done in glow in the dark ink.
please read this even if you're not indian. especially if you're not indian.
you've seen the jokes. india is "dirty", indians are "everywhere", why don't they fix their own country. ok. let me tell you why, and what's happening right now while nobody's watching.
first, the history you skipped: britain ruled india for two centuries and drained it. economist utsa patnaik's research estimates around $45 trillion in today's money was taken. the india that got independence in 1947 was one of the poorest countries on earth. every "why is india like this" question starts there. you don't get to profit off a robbery and then mock the crime scene.
now, what's happening RIGHT NOW:
in may the question paper for NEET leaked. that's the national medical entrance exam. over 2.2 million students took it. cancelled. years of studying, families' savings poured into coaching, gone overnight because someone sold the paper. students died by suicide after. these were kids who wanted to be doctors.
and out of that came a protest movement. a gen z group called the cockroach janta party, started by a 30 year old named abhijeet dipke, got 22 million instagram followers within DAYS. they've been doing a sit-in at jantar mantar in delhi demanding education minister dharmendra pradhan resign.
and then there's sonam wangchuk. if you've watched 3 idiots, he's the real engineer the character was based on. built solar schools in ladakh. invented ice stupas so himalayan villages have water. spent his whole life on education. he's 59 and he's been on hunger strike for 17+ days now. reporters went to see him this week and he was too weak to talk. and the troll armies are calling him "anti national" and "foreign funded". a man starving himself for other people's children. that's the thing here, anyone who asks a question is suddenly a traitor.
it's not one incident, it's everywhere you look:
⢠infrastructure worth thousands of crores failing within months of the ribbon cutting. tunnels collapsing in regions where heavy rain is a guarantee, not a surprise.
⢠youth unemployment near 10% for ages 15 to 29, 13.6% in cities. in a country of 1.42 billion where more than half the population is young.
⢠only about the top 3% of indians earn above 10 lakh a year. meanwhile billionaire wealth keeps ballooning and the headlines celebrate it.
⢠manipur burned for over two years. an ethnic conflict, tens of thousands displaced, and the prime minister barely said the word manipur while it happened.
⢠journalists raided. critics' houses bulldozed. activists sitting in jail for years without trial under laws like UAPA. our press freedom ranking has cratered.
⢠even the petrol is a fight now, ethanol blending pushed through while drivers complain about their engines and get no straight answers.
and through all of it, the PM, who came to power on religious polarisation (americans, sound familiar?), travels abroad for photo ops and has not held one single open press conference in over a decade. not one.
what i'm asking:
if you're not indian: share this. our media mostly won't cover any of it because the big outlets are owned by the same billionaires the government serves. the only reason wangchuk's fast is getting any coverage is people refusing to look away.
if you ARE indian: speak up even if you're comfortable. especially if you're comfortable. join the protests. add to this, correct me, translate it. staying quiet is a choice when nothing in this post touches your life.
india is not "dirty". india was robbed, and it's being robbed again, from the inside this time. but it's also the country where a 59 year old will starve for strangers' kids and 22 million young people will rally behind a party literally named after cockroaches, because cockroaches survive everything.
So he said it can't be a Black. So I said, "For God's sakes, Judge Murphy, that's the whole point of the Goddamn story!" So he said, "No, it can't be a Black". Bill just called him up and raised the roof, and finally they said, "Well, you gotta take the perspiration off". I had the stars glistening in the perspiration on his Black skin. Bill said, "Fuck you", and he hung up.
Just to add context for those not aware of the impact of this story.
The reason it was so important for narrative purposes, was that the plot concerns the visit of the Astronaut, in his completely opaque spacesuit, to a planet populated entirely by self-aware robots (originally from Earth) who have built their own society and are petitioning to be allowed to interact with Earth again as equals.
They have a democratic government and free choice of careers etc. as the orange robot serving as guide tells the Astronaut.
The Astronaut notices that there are two different types of robot on this world; the orange ones, who are in charge, gifted access to all information and facilities. and the blue robots, who are seen as more limited in function, have less access to information and resources, and are not allowed positions of power or as wide a choice of employment opportunities. Even transportation is segregated.
The Astronaut investigates further and discovers that the blue and orange robots are actually structurally identical, there is absolutely no difference between their potential or capabilities, and it is only because the orange robots are instructed by their Educator system to consider themselves superior, that the difference exists.
The Astronaut tells the robots they are not ready for re-alignment with Earth, until they come to terms with their own unfairness, and how Earth had had to deal with this issue themselves. When that time comes, the robots will be able to ally with Earth.
Then he leaves in his spaceship, and it's only in that one final panel that we see the Astronaut is black.
Not subtle, nor should it be, but for 1950 this was a breathtakingly powerful statement, perhaps the first of it's kind in the genre.
The black character was not a caricature, or comedy relief, he was a main character in his own right, a human who "simply" was black.
Ok, but this story is sadly revolutionary even now.
That is not just a human who happens to be black, as far as every other character in this story is concerned this is the most important, maybe even the only human they ever see, who happens to be black.
As depressing as that is, but a black person just casually representing the entirety of humanity is a breathtakingly powerfull statement even today, a quarter of a century later.
At the end of find we see that red is alive and an impostor, obviosly due to glitchy's device, with it first reviving red, then turning red into an impostor due to them having the device stabing them as a living crewmate, but i ask you
Where is the device? Not on their back, like with purple. So my explanation? THAT'S ALTERNATE RED. Why else would rodamrix make two timelines? To eventually have them converge. YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHER WISE.
wait what, this actually makes a lot of senseee
well if so, this is gonna be a hella awkward reunion
What if Green went into Reactor, waited for Purple to check on Heracles then snuck into Security to kill Blue?
I. Didn't even think about the lack of equipment given to the geologists as purposeful! Though it does make me wonder what the geologists are even there for; MIRA doesn't want them to figure out what the Ore+ truly is, but then how would a GEOLOGIST be unable to identify the ore as organic? If it's being used as fuel it's probably a fossil fuel, but then a geologist would probably be able to figure out why they're pretty uniform in shape, size and color. And why would they put so much funding in the Medbay if a killer alien would probably want to get rid of a medical professional as soon as possible? Much to wonder...
After seeing other comments and watching the episode again, I absolutely believe that Green was waiting for Purple to leave! Thank you for pointing that out to me!!
There is something that caught my attention, thoughâŚ
ââŚthough it does make me wonder what the geologists are there forâŚâ
smiles menacingly. hereâs a theory for you.
Black is very anti-MIRA, arenât they? And Cyan (as much as I love them) is useless as a geologist. In isolation, these would be mere coincidence. Not every MIRA crew is going to be all corporate bootlickers.
But with the rest of the crew..?
Yellow and Brown are union workers, and anti-capitalists on top of that. Blue is implied to be anti-MIRA and probably some sort of activist with them building homes for the homeless. Lime is a conspiracy theorist, and anti-government. Red and Purple are both witnesses to MIRA negligence, even with Red signing the NDA. And White⌠well, theyâre extremely annoying.
Orange is a husk, not even a character, whose only purpose is to be a corporate shill. Theyâre extremely pro-MIRA, too. Funny the only one with a genuine positive view of MIRA turns out to be an alien.
Green never makes any statements about MIRA, ever. They stay completely neutral. They donât even bring up the idea of MIRA using alien eggs as fuel. They often deflect any opportunity to show an opinion on MIRA (âmistakingâ Yellow and Brown as being married, for example), just focusing on their work as an unpaid intern.
Or rather, as a mercenary. For MIRA, specifically. Assassinate a crew with anti-MIRA sentiments (plus one annoying rich person that probably was bad PR or just sacrificed to make the attack look less purposeful), cover up the gore, and call it a day.
The cameras donât record. The geologists have nothing to work with. There arenât any weapons. There probably wouldnât have even been any salt on board if it werenât for Yellow and Cyan, either. Medbay is decently funded at least, I agree; perhaps MIRA wanted to see the results of any experiments done on the aliens, like the scan?
