Golly I Hope I Can Curse Here

(Cause I'm Gonna)

[gum-me-down]

Ranting about someone you don't know and hopefully never will but this mf is LIVING IN MY HOUSE AND I FUCKING PRAY FOR HIS DEMISE.

[gum-me-down]

Might even orchestrate it my god damn self

[gum-me-down]

Ranting about someone you don't know and hopefully never will but this mf is LIVING IN MY HOUSE AND I FUCKING PRAY FOR HIS DEMISE.

[gum-me-down]

Oh, the national guard is being effectively deployed in DC? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Fuck you.

Oh, ICE killing people is being reported on to distract from how effective the national guard is? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCK YOU.

They're defending Nazis, WE THE FUCKING PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM.

[gum-me-down]

You never know when an invisible man could punch you in the side of the head so stop taking your anxiety medication

[gum-me-down]

First thing you see after I quicksave

[gum-me-down]

She house on my carl til my dragon's born

[catgirlbulge]

i don't know mythbusters you tell me

[homunculus-argument]

Travel tip! If you're travelling with a friend, make sure that the aforementioned friend is either smarter than you, or willing to trust that you are smarter than them. If your friend is smarter than you, they'll manage on their own and you know you can trust their judgement. And if you know your friend can't be trusted to make smart choices but trusts that you know better, you'll be fine for as long as you can keep an eye on them.

But if your friend will not make smart choices on their own, and won't do as you say when you tell them that they're about to do something stupid, your friend is going to get you both killed.

[sentimentalslut]

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

[sentimentalslut]

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

[sentimentalslut]

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

[gum-me-down]

Not to sound too crazy but I only got Tumblr cause gay ass husband kept begging me but I think I would not have just had a threesome if I wasn't receptive to things that may ruin the way I think.

[heavenpierceher]

HOLD the fucking line NO christmas until dember

[heavenpierceher]

For every comment on this post with some bullshit about how christmas actually makes you happy and fuzzy inside so you can celebrate it whenever you want I’m going to go outside and kill an elf with a shotgun at point blank. Was it worth it?