Fight me in the streets for cash

Hey, fellas, I do art and make the videogame. Not here, though. All you're gonna find here is the highest quality humor just kind of thrown up in a big pile. Artists drawing themselves as cutesy, good-looking avatars are out. Puppetsonas are IN.

[dogpuppy]

[meggettes]

The introductory description of Lady Sybil changed my life. I cannot recall reading a description of a female character anywhere near this ballpark, which is a damn shame, but also doesn’t particularly surprise me. As a not-that-tall but broad-shouldered and barrel-chested woman* I feel deeply affirmed every time I revisit this passage.

Here it is to live on my blog and yours forever:

Even shorn of her layers of protective clothing, Lady Sybil Ramkin was still toweringly big. Vimes knew that the barbarian hublander folk had legends about great chain-mailed, armor-bra’d, carthorse-riding maidens who swooped down on battlefields and carried off dead warriors on their cropper to a glorious roistering afterlife, while singing in a pleasing mezzo-soprano. Lady Ramkin could have been one of them. She could have led them. She could have carried off a battalion. When she spoke, every word was like a hearty slap on the back and clanged with the aristocratic self-assurance of the totally well-bred. The vowel sounds alone would have cut teak.

Vimes’s ragged forebears were used to voices like that, usually from heavily-armored people on the back of a war charger, telling them why it would be a jolly good idea, don’tcherknow, to charge the enemy and hit them for six. His legs wanted to stand to attention.

Prehistoric men would have worshiped her, and in fact had amazingly managed to carve life like statues of her thousands of years ago.

—Guards! Guards! by Sir Terry Pratchett

[sandersstudies]

Found my husband’s baby book. OBSESSED with an image of him, newborn baby, on what looks like a large white comforter, alone, with the caption New Guy In Town. Obsessed I tell you.

[sandersstudies]

[sandersstudies]

The true 90s baby aesthetic as computers in the home were normalized

[babybelminis]

why is it giving this

[saturnmortis]

[ip2lb]

[scooplery]

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you are now a cat in the warrior cats universe! Spin these wheels for your name!

Do you like it?

YES!!!

yes

eh it's okay

no.

IM MOON MOON

results/other

Voting ended on14h

note: I (the owner of this blog and maker of wheels) am not into warrior cats! I just thought this would be fun to make

(prefixes and suffixes from @yarrowleef)

[lemmmmmmmmmmonade]

HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP

[kosmogrl]

I will make a beautiful life for myself no matter how long it takes. I will I will I will

[captain-price-returns]

[tall]

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

reblog to pet his bald head

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[dogpuppy]

[greelin]

everyone is so hateful and lacking in whimsy

[greelin]

we could wear respirators. since you want to be such a little bitch about it

[halondrus]

[dogpuppy]

[necromancelena]

I like that she looks anxious and on edge

[necromancelena]

she looks like she'd say "jeepers!"

[necromancelena]

hey spit that out! drop it! hey!

[corillion]

[rotorsexual]

Leave the Mi-10 alone its just the Mi-6's lankier and awkward cousin doing its best

[theconcealedweapon]

[garaks-padded-cell]

I have an absolutely massive russian guy as my driving instructor rn

Whenever i get into his car i have to spend an embarrassing 3 minutes adjusting everything back into clown car proportions so i can fit. Anyways a couple lessons ago he had me do the same route over and over to practice and there was a dead seagull in the middle of the road at one point and to keep correct positioning on the road i was required to drive over its carcass like 19 times just goring this seagull until the 20th lap when my instructor looked at the seagull that now more resembled tomato soup than a bird and said "this time. you spare seagull" and so i did and then he said "incorrect positioning on road"

[garaks-padded-cell]

Artists rendition