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Gwyn Appreciation Day Masterlist
Banner art by @brielyasmin commissioned by @acourtdelaluna
Profile Picture art by @lyyzismess commissioned by @miseryreads
See below the cut for “Tags” and “Rules”
Tags we use:
fanfic = #fic📖
fanart = #fanart🎨
headcanon = #headcanon🧠
moodboard = #moodboard🎭
theories = #theories🧐
analysis = #analysis🔎
meme = #memes🤭
miscellaneous = #misc📝
book quotes = #canon📚
Rules
Positivity only please! We aren’t here to report on drama or what other ships are saying, just Gwynriel!
No AI! We support human creators here<3
Any negativity directed at us will result in a block.
She stopped mid-slice, whirling to face him. “I'm sorry. I
knew you all were going to the river house, so I didn't think anyone would mind if I came up here, and-”
"It's fine. I came to retrieve something I forgot." The lie was smooth and cool, as he knew his face was. His shadows peered over his wings at her.
“Happy Solstice,” she said, as much a dismissal as it was a holiday blessing.
He snorted. “Are you kicking me out?”
Gwyn's teal eyes flashed with alarm. “No! I mean, I don't mind sharing the ring. I just ... I know you like to be alone.”
Her mouth quirked to the side, crinkling the freckles on her nose. “Is that why you came up here?”
Sort of. “I forgot something," he reminded her.
“At two in the morning?”
Pure amusement glittered in her stare. Better than the pain and grief he'd spied a moment before. So he offered her a crooked smile. “I can't sleep without my favorite dagger.”
"A comfort to every growing child."
I love how she showed her sassiness once Azriel showed his. I have a feeling Gwyn clocked Azriel lying in the first scene (nothing gets past her) but she was willing to let it go until Azriel's cheeky side came out. From then on? Instant call out.
With all the excitement and anticipation of the new ACOTAR books, we thought it would be fun to play a little music themed ask game with our community.
If you see an account reblogging this post, send them an ask using the numbers below! 💖🎶💖
What song immediately makes you think of Gwynriel?
What do you think music and singing means to Azriel?
What do you think music and singing means to Gwyn?
How do you think music will play a role in Gwynriel’s story?
How do you think the shadows react to Gwyn’s singing vs Azriel’s singing?
Why do you think SJM connected both Gwyn and Azriel to music?
Who controls the aux in the car, Gwyn or Azriel?
What’s a music related headcanon you have for Gwynriel?
Name a song you think would go on Gwynriel’s workout/training playlist.
Do you have a favourite Gwynriel fic or fanart that was inspired by a song?
🎨 credit ✨ fanart by @jmoonjones ✨ divider by @angeliicide
”But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face.”
I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS!!!! BC WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE INFAMOUS SHADOWSINGER THAT RARELY SHOWS ANYTHING HAD TO CONSCIOUSLY EARSE RHE SMILE FROM HIS FACE?!?!!!! HAD TO LITERALLY FORCE HIMSELF TO STOP SMILING AT THE THOUGHT OF GWYNS EYES!!!!?
imagine reading that and not thinking it’s the cutest fucking shit ever pls couldn’t be me
Gwyn’s New Year’s resolution was simple, until a man with beautiful hazel eyes walked into her life like he belonged.
Letting him stay should have been easy. Falling for him might have been easier.
If her past wasn’t watching. Waiting. Refusing to let her go.
Part nine is up on AO3. Read it HERE or down below
Tumblr masterlist
Summary: Azriel talks to Gwyn again-- at the worst possible time.
words: 3260
a/n: I'm just gonna go ahead and apologize right from the start, sooo.... I'M SORRY! This gets angsty, and next part might be worse... :/
But I promise, Azriel will be stepping up very very soon. We just needed Gwyn to shout a little at him first.....
As always, thank you so much for reading and for sticking with me. Please share your thoughts with me in the comments, I love to read everything you have to say! <3
Also, I do want to put some small warnings out there for this chapter, there are hints of Gwyn's past (we will be getting into it much more coming chapter) which includes domestic abuse.
So please take care <3
For nearly two weeks, Gwyn had been waiting for Azriel to reach out to her. Waited for her phone to alert her of a new message from him. Days of nothing. Nothing but wondering what she could’ve done wrong. An endless chorus of why, why, why.
And now, there he was—at the worst possible time. As much as she had wanted to talk to him again, at that moment Gwyn needed him to leave her alone.
Fuck.
Because, of course, he had decided he’d talk to her again when she was on the edge of a complete meltdown. When she had no strength left to keep all of her conflicting emotions at bay. No strength to pretend everything was fine.
Though tired, Azriel looked much more like the man she’d slowly gotten attached to, rather than the cold stranger she’d met at the gym.
Gwyn hated it. Hated how even despite ignoring her for so long, for turning his back on her so suddenly, the warmth hidden in those hazel eyes gave her a comfort she refused to admit she’d needed.
She hated the stupid flutter low in her stomach too.
The way his mere presence somehow dulled the sharp edges around her mind.
It all shattered when he averted his gaze, looking out at the immaculate garden spread before them instead of her. Even more so when he finally spoke.
“You looked upset earlier,” he said slowly, still not moving from his place by the door, seemingly hesitating whether he should even be there or not. His voice distant and quiet. ”Inside.”
“Oh yeah?” She couldn’t stop it. The dry laugh that pushed its way past her lips, fueled by all the anger and frustration bubbling inside her. “I’m surprised you even saw me.”
Gwyn caught him taking a long deep breath. His chest rising slowly, the dark shirt stretching across his broad shoulders and the muscles there. The shadows from the soft lanterns flickered across his face, catching briefly against the sharp line of his jaw and the attractive slope of his nose.
Allowing herself to really look at him. Azriel did look more than tired. He looked exhausted. With his suit jacket slightly rumpled and his shoulders slumped.
Gwyn hated how it made her heart clench. That the naive and stupidly foolish part of her cared so much. That even despite everything she couldn’t help but wonder if he was alright. She definitely wasn’t, which was partly his fault.
Some of it at least.
It was hard to tell it all apart. It felt too tangled. The fear that was clawing at her chest. The confusion and hurt from being ignored. The shock at seeing not one, but two, old faces. The desire to just lead a normal life.
It was all Gwyn wanted.
A normal life where she could perhaps even fall in love one day. Was that truly too much to ask?
It certainly seemed so. Too much. Everything was always just too much.
When Azriel finally looked at her again, Gwyn was struck with the awful realization of how much she had really missed him. The steady weight of his attention and the calm intensity of his beautiful eyes.
It made her want to scream.
Or cry.
Possibly both.
And then—
“Why were you talking to Eris Vanserra?”
“…Are you serious?” Gwyn blinked at him. Her heart was still pounding, but for different reasons now. Azriel tensed and he crossed his arms over his chest, only to let them fall to his side again immediately. A muscle in his jaw tightened before he spoke again.
“How do you know him?”
Another laugh fell from her lips before she could stop it. Full of disbelief and no real humor. Out of all the things he could’ve asked... that’s what he wanted to know. It could’ve been funny. If Gwyn wasn’t so fragile.
For a short moment, Gwyn had believed she would finally find out why he’d stopped talking to her. That at least one of her worries would be answered. But no. He just wanted to know about Eris.
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t.”
The word landed between them like a blow. Heavy and ugly. A burst of anger rose in her so quickly it made her dizzy all over again.
“Right. Yeah, no, of course you don’t.” She almost didn’t recognize her own voice. It came out too sharp, too bitter, and she wasn't sure she’d ever used that tone before. She found she didn’t really care. Not then. Not when she had already allowed some parts of the raging storm inside her slip past her defenses. Azriel would have to deal with it. ”That’s my mistake for thinking you cared.”
“Gwyn—”
“I’ve had a pretty shitty day,” she interrupted harshly, a shiver running unwillingly through her at the sound of her name falling from his lips. She ignored it. Annoyed it had an effect on her to begin with. “Actually, I’ve had a pretty shitty week. Can you leave? Please. I want to be alone.”
“Are you sure—”
“No, Azriel,” she cut him off again, standing so swiftly the chair scraped across the floor and knocked into the tables. It was abrupt. Unexpectedly loud in the otherwise silent night.
Something flickered across his face—surprise, maybe—but it vanished quickly as he schooled his expression back into its usual effortless calm. ”I’m not sure about anything right now to be completely honest. But what I do know is that you don’t get to ignore me after making me like you and then show up acting all like...” She gestured vaguely toward him, frustrations making her throat tighten and slowing her words. “Like—ugh, you know what? Forget it.”
“You like me?”
Her frantic heart skipped a beat.
“What?” she spluttered and in the same breath realized her slip. “No! I mean, I...” Heat rushed violently up her neck, spreading across her whole chest and face. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. As if the night wasn’t already a huge disaster.
But maybe it didn’t matter anymore. She was already hurting. Already standing there with her heart halfway ripped open anyway. To hell with it. ”Why’d you stop talking to me?”
Azriel, who had finally left his place by the door, froze midstep. A shadow passed over his eyes and Gwyn couldn’t quite name it. Irritation maybe. Guilt. Regret. It could’ve been anything. His throat bobbed once, before he spoke.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Well, it matters to me,” she said, voice cracking even despite her best efforts to stop it. “I don’t understand.”
Azriel looked away again, his whole body turning away from her slightly. Even without speaking, Gwyn could tell he was putting his walls up. Building them so high and impenetrable that she wondered if he ever let himself feel anything at all.
“Maybe you don’t need to understand,” he began, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. “Maybe it’s better that way.”
Gwyn didn’t hesitate. Adrenaline rushing through her veins as she witnessed Azriel pulling away from her once more—this time right in front of her.
“For who?” she challenged, her breathing turning slightly uneven once more. “For you? Or me? Because right now it seems like you’ve already decided I don’t get a say in this.”
“You’ll be better off without whatever this was,” he said with agonizing firmness, leaving no room for argument. “Trust me.”
Something inside her splintered.
“You don’t get to decide that!” she snapped as the tears she’d been holding back all evening—all week—finally broke free. “Listen, if you don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. Whatever. But don’t stand there and pretend it’s for me. Don’t make that choice for me. It’s my life, I get to decide who I want in it!”
“Gwyn—”
“No.” She shook her head, keeping her chin high despite the hot tears slowly trailing down her cheeks. “I need to go home now.”
She started to leave. Walking past him on shaky legs, but barely made it two steps before his soft voice rang out in the silent night.
“Gwyn, wait, I—”
Long fingers wrapped carefully around her arm, stopping her in her tracks.
It wasn’t painful.
Nor was it forceful.
Still, her whole body froze.
“Let go of me,” she whispered so quietly she almost didn’t hear her own voice. “Please.”
Azriel released her immediately. As if the words had burned him. Slapped him across the face. When Gwyn looked up, he’d already put a considerable amount of space between them. For the first time there was no mistaking the flicker of emotion across his face. Horror. Shame. Sorrow.
Silence crashed over them.
Azriel opened his mouth. Shut it. Only to do the same thing all over again.
And Gwyn... Gwyn couldn't do anything but just stand there. Could just look at him. Because what else was she supposed to do? Her mind was blank. Her heart was pounding painfully.
“I didn’t, I’m—”
“What is going on out here?”
Neither of them had seen or heard Nesta join them out on the patio.
She appeared at Gwyn’s side like a snake ready to strike. Silent. Sharp. Dangerous.
Gwyn couldn’t bring herself to look directly at her, but she felt the way Nesta’s gaze flicked between them. Taking in the tears on Gwyn’s face. The distance Azriel had suddenly put between them. The tension that had unraveled between them thick as smoke.
Azriel straightened slightly, but his face had already slipped back to that unbearable mask of composure Gwyn had grown to hate.
“Nothing,” Gwyn heard herself say, using the back of her hand to quietly wipe away her tears. Neither Nesta or Azriel moved. “I just... I want to go home.”
Silence continued to stretch between the three of them and somehow that was worse than anything else.
Gods, Gwyn was tired.
But then Nesta just slipped an arm around her, giving her a light squeeze and wordlessly guided her back inside. Nesta said nothing else, only threw one last glare over her shoulder at Azriel. And Gwyn knew that just one single look said more than anything Nesta could’ve voiced aloud. It usually did.
Azriel didn’t respond. Didn’t say anything else either.
Neither did Gwyn.
۶ৎ ۶ৎ ۶ৎ
The ride back home passed in a blur. At first, Gwyn tried to hold back her tears. Then she gave up and let them flow freely down her face. Nesta held her hand the entire time.
Somewhere between leaving the gallery and arriving home, Emerie had joined them. Her presence was steady and warm against Gwyn’s side as Nesta pulled the keys out of her bag and unlocked the door to her apartment.
While she went into the bathroom, tearing that stupid dress off and removing her make-up, her friends made her a cup of tea. Then dragged every blanket and pillow she owned into the living room until all three of them could squeeze onto the couch together.
They asked no questions. Didn’t push her for any answers as to what had happened.
Instead they just let her cry on their shoulders and offered their unconditional support. The same way they always did.
Gwyn didn’t deserve them. Not when she hadn’t even told them everything. Hadn’t told them about her old name. Who she was related to. No matter how distant the connection was, Nesta’s sister was engaged to one of them. Gwyn didn’t know what Nesta would say when she found out. Whether she’d feel hurt. Betrayed. Angry that Gwyn had hidden it at all.
And the unknown number... she should’ve just told them from the start. No matter how scary it was. Now she risked upsetting them by having lied. What if they didn’t want to be her friend anymore? What if it was all too much for them? She was too much.
Gwyn needed to tell them.
Not tonight though.
Not yet.
Tonight, Gwyn just needed the normalcy of the three of them falling asleep on her too small couch, limbs tangled and overheated.
She’d tell them about the text tomorrow. After she got some sleep and could think a bit more clearly.
Maybe she’d even try to talk to Azriel again. She hadn’t meant to snap the way she did. Didn’t want whatever they were to end like... like that. Nesta and Cassian were together, which meant she would most definitely see Azriel again. They couldn’t leave things like that. It would just be another thing haunting her and Gwyn really didn’t want him to be.
They needed to talk. Properly. Gwyn still didn’t understand, even less so now.
His words kept ringing in her ears. The way he’d said them. As if he was doing her a favor by staying away. If Gwyn had been herself, then maybe she would’ve just told him that staying away was doing the opposite.
As Nesta and Emerie eventually dozed off, both of them snoring softly on either side of her on the couch—Gwyn reached for her phone.
Her stomach twisted with discomfort as the three emojis she’d sent him laughed back at her. Just like they had every day since. Tonight, the emojis felt almost cruel. Mocking every conversation they’d shared before he disappeared.
She scrolled to the top.
‘Is the treadmill still standing?’
It had all started with a simple little joke between them. Well, technically everything had started with Liam standing her up and Azriel showing up to save her from dying from embarrassment. But that first message, even if she hadn’t been able to admit it at the time, had made her think something else could grow between them.
Especially as more jokes were shared. Small ones. Silly ones that would make no sense to anyone else. Small intimate moments shared over written words, but still as meaningful as if they’d been spoken verbally. Azriel had surprised her with his wit and boyish charm. She hadn’t expected it from him, not after everything Nesta had ever told her about Cassian’s brothers.
The more she thought about it, some pieces slowly started to fall into place. More of Nesta’s description of him seeping through to the rattled parts of her brain.
“He has always been terrible when it comes to answering his phone, but terrific at denying himself anything that could make him happy.”
Was that what had happened earlier? Had he—
Gwyn’s phone buzzed in her hands and she watched as a new message popped up. Finally replacing the three laughing emojis. Her breath caught in her throat as she read the words displayed at the bottom of her screen.
‘I’m sorry.’
She stared at the screen, wondering if she truly was seeing things now. Azriel had written. Apologized.
Suddenly she was back on the patio with him, replaying the harsh conversation they’d had. His hand around her arm, keeping her from leaving. It brought fresh tears to her eyes.
Not because he’d hurt her.
He hadn’t.
And not because she’d been scared.
Not really.
Azriel had barely touched her. His grip had been so careful, so light. The second she’d asked him to let go, he had. Immediately.
No, the reason for her eyes tearing up again was because her body had reacted before her mind had the chance to catch up. That, for one brief second, it hadn’t been Azriel out on the patio with her. It had been someone else. Someone who wouldn’t have let go.
And Gwyn absolutely hated that no matter how hard she had worked to overcome it, her body still responded with fear.
She had been angry with Azriel. Frustrated. That much was true. Perhaps she still was a little bit angry. She’d meant what she said—he didn’t get to decide what was best for her. Not when it came to who she wanted in her life.
And she wanted Azriel to stay in her life.
But only if he wanted her to stay in his.
Her fingers hovered over the screen, trying to think of a reply. Next to her Emerie let out a soft grunt, mumbling something incoherent before snuggling deeper into the blankets. Gwyn chanced a glance at the time. It was past two in the morning.
She should probably wait to write back to him. At least until morning. Until she’d had time to think of a good reply and gotten some rest.
Unfortunately, rest did not find her. The night’s events kept her exhausted body from fully relaxing. Whenever she managed to doze off, a nightmare would have her jolting back awake.
When morning arrived, the sun shining through the thin curtains, Nesta was the first one to get up. Gwyn’s head was pounding. Her eyes burning, from all the crying and lack of sleep. She didn’t move, kept her eyes closed, hoping to still catch some sort of sleep.
Nesta ventured into her kitchen and soon the sounds of her rummaging through the cupboards echoed softly from the other room. Along with Nesta grumbling loudly over the lack of food in the fridge. Eventually Emerie stirred next to her, tempted by the smell of coffee wafting through her apartment.
Gwyn sat up with a small groan, eyes bleary and heart heavy, and realized she still had her phone in her hand. Had kept it close to her chest all night.
She couldn’t help but wonder if Azriel had gotten more sleep than she had. Somehow, she doubted he had.
Gwyn looked at his message again. He really had chosen the worst timing to approach her, and even though she had only spoken her truth—it wasn’t how she’d wanted to say it.
“Coffee?”
Nesta stood beside her, holding two mugs in her hands. Gwyn sighed happily as the first drop of coffee hit her tongue and the rest of the morning continued with the three of them piling up on her couch again.
Tell them, a voice urged her from the back of her mind. Tell them everything.
Gwyn tried to. Tried to gather enough courage to find the right words. Tried to think of her sister. Her sister who had always been so brave and would be ashamed of who Gwyn had turned into.
A knock on her door interrupted before she could.
“You expecting someone?” Emerie asked, looking over her shoulder at the front door. Gwyn frowned.
“No.”
There wasn’t anyone waiting on the other side of the door when she opened it. But as she looked down a huge bouquet of flowers rested on the floor. White lilies wrapped in brown paper, a pink ribbon tying it all together.
A card fell to the floor as she picked it up. Her heart skipped a beat. Her mind immediately went to Azriel and his text.
But then the scent of the lilies wrapped around her like a tight leash. Grounding her in memories she had no desire to remember. Nesta and Emerie appeared behind her as she opened the card with shaking hands.
The words staring back at her came straight out of her nightmares.
So did the poem.
You seemed upset yesterday. These were always your favorites.
-H
A Lover’s dream is never clean
For the broken pieces cannot heal
He gave his soul, his voice, his breath
Yet she slipped beyond his path
Not a ghost, no not yet
He whispers her name
Once a song that lit the skies
To see her again, he’d pay the price
Sacrifice reason. Sacrifice trust—
Gwyn didn’t finish reading before both the bouquet and the card slipped out of her hands and fell to the floor.
