Now it's just getting sad

welcome to where tumblr humor spends it's final days

[mercifulangel]

i like it when italian italians get mad at italian americans for calling themselves italian

[vacueabissi]

And we are right about it, diocan

[mercifulangel]

whoa mamma mia cunt

[cappuccinobear-cub]

If the only thing you can come up with is "mamma mia cunt" then you sure as hell don't have the Italian culture, porca puttana marcita

[mercifulangel]

ah shit the spaghettios didnt like this one lads

[heavenssexiestangel]

Fottetevi

[mercifulangel]

fettuccine

[chawriee]

[jupiterscorpse]

i have to be the most fuckable person at the vaccine center

[dirtbaby2016]

its dj erectile disfunction on the beat

[dirtbaby2016]

making sure yall go hard even though i cant

[huffylemon]

[copperbadge]

I laughed suddenly and loudly in my cubicle at work. 

[metradell-vyorei-deactivated202]

Anyone else go through that occasional phase where toast and butter is just the tastiest fucking creation on the planet and you have to restrain yourself from eating an entire loaf of bread in ten minutes

[martindykewood]

taking care of kids is so easy it requires three skills:

acting very dramatic and telling an injured kid that an amputation is necessary

saying wildly incorrect things so that the kid will correct you and feel good about themselves for being so smart

pretending every time they have something cool that it's actually a present they've brought you

[greasemnk-deactivated20150904]

[osamah-deactivated20140324]

I CANT BREATHE THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO GIVEN TO MANKIND

[morningclarity]

[podsn]

I saw this on Instagram and honestly I can’t stop laughing

[justlookatthosesausages]

I’m on the floor omg the sound edit 

[catasters]

[recommend]

Proof That Baby Showers Are the Literal Worst (x)

[gluten-free-pussy]

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

[animution11]

[royalhans]

polar opposite of this post

[hrmsketches]

inspiration struck and would not let me go until i drew this

[gluten-free-pussy]

This is really beautiful!!!

[otherwindow]

Tooth fairies are a smaller and friendlier subspecies of the larger and much more hostile bone fairies.

[iwilltrytobereasonable]

Thank you for this bespoke nightmare

[thyrell]

bro forget that how much money do i get for a femur under my pillow

[lilmamabeyellin]

[liquidlimits-deactivated2019032]

I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!

[razxion]

Even if I do not receive money or good news, I did smile at seeing this smiling Buddha.

[meatgod]

Lets do it, meatGod approved

[exciting]

where! has! my! passion! gone! I had it abundantly when I was a child, and I must have dropped it along the way, but I cannot figure where!

[exciting]

oh hey folks fun update, i found my passion again? i just had to find my right outlet, get to a place where I have aspirations, dispel apathy and pursue what I love, it’s all good and swell!

[skyderman]

reblog this to find the right outlet, get to a place where you have aspirations, dispel apathy and pursue what you love, and rediscover your passion.

[pancakeke]

be an animal. cause problems.

[atiredhedgehog]

bastard simulator