In episode six of The Amazing Digital Circus ā Jax gets too real!
In all seriousness, this was completely fantastic to watch. It was such a good depiction of self destructive behaviors and Michael Kovach was PHENOMENAL.
His instant reaction to pomni hugging him was super telling. He wants to get closer to her, his behaviors show that clearly, but he fears it as well.
His regret after the outburst is also extremely telling.
This did not go as planned. He did not expect to get so close to her and have to push her so suddenly away. He didnāt want to push her away, but felt in this moment that he needed to, at all costs.
As much as he wants everyone to believe his actions were planned, they were IMPULSIVE.
As insistent as he was on telling Pomni that he didnāt care, that it was stupid to think that he might, Pomni was right when she pointed out that Jax wasnāt fighting back. He DID care.
He never hurt Pomni for his own fun at any point in this episode. His actions directly contradict what heās trying to make Pomni believe. He hurts the others, so she might believe him. But he didnāt want to hurt her. Not anymore. The only time he hurt her on purpose was when he felt like he needed to push her away. But otherwise? He has shown that he doesnāt see her as something to torment. Jax sees Pomni as an equal, a friend.
Even his reaction to Ragathas āaccusingā him of making friends with Pomni was extreme. Initially his uncaring expression threw Ragatha off, but once she was eliminated you can see that this is the moment Jax realized he was going too far ā far past even his own personal boundaries ā in forming a bond with Pomni.
Jax was lying the whole time he tried to make Pomni believe he didnāt care. He used all his tricks. Deflected with jokes, brushed off the intensity of the situation, made fun of Pomnis attempts to befriend him, he even tried to make her push him away first with the traitor bit.
Actually, he seems to be obsessed with the whole bit thing, donāt you think? The archetypes.
He thinks that fitting into the role of the circus will help him survive.
As if trying to maintain humanity whilst being deprived of it causes abstraction.
So he picks the perfect role to extract himself of any sort of sincerity or responsibility.
He uses it as a shield even if it damages his relationship with Pomni. And he tries to use Pomniās humorously chosen role to his advantage, to get her to leave.
Pomniās prying would humanize him. He would be too open, too vulnerable, too human. He wonāt be able to play his role anymore. Or use it to protect his sanity.
If he had nothing beneath his cruel exterior, he wouldnāt have to beg Pomni to stop looking.
Jax knows that if she keeps looking, if she helps him open up, if she pursues his friendship despite his protests, he WILL break, and he WILL show her who he really is. He canāt resist getting close with someone because he ā like everybody else ā needs a friend.
So he had to make her stop.
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