one-third daylight

i’m mao (20+) (he/him). you should never have let a mitski girl write shounen fanfics. | hockey sideblog: hmw2

[hahahafangirl]

my only wish in life is that when you guys think of me this is what you imagine

[spiderst4rs]

me everytime i see one of these dogs

[suosufferinghours]

Suo: but I'm off the clock....

[frankiebirdsong]

[spiritsealed]

[kajisbraincell]

[otaku553]

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been commissioned to draw shinobu id have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice now

[yamalvr]

you can really see how inauthentic his previous apologies were compared to this one. hes only willing to show his pain when theres nobody around to see it. hes only able to truly acknowledge and apologize for how much hes hurting nirei in these conditions, because otherwise it wouldve underplayed the ruse hes trying to sell; that they were never close, that nireis reaction was overemotional and pathetic, when in reality suo was feeling the same thing as him. he is sorry and he feels so bad, but that isnt enough to stop him from leaving. nii sensei i am so familiar with your game and yet. it astounds me to this day

[hahahafangirl]

the metaphor galore has once again arrived and im gonna need a business day on this one. suo in clothes that covered him even more than usual, presumably more than what the weather warrants (not just nirei, but everyone elses also wearing their usual clothes). the scarf specifically hiding his mouth when he kicked nirei, where before, where facial expressions are concerned, his smiles reveal his feelings. nirei saying “you become so easy to read when it matters.” suo froze for a beat before summoning that laugh when nirei asks if they are friends. nirei being the first one to injure suo. THE FIRST ONE TO CONNECTS A HIT ON SUO (which we can only guess if suo saw it coming or not— i say he did). suo moves to, then aborted the action of, removing his jacket to cover nirei. resting nirei against the concrete tree planter that looked like a headstone. kill your darling? kill your friendship kill your love kill “suo hayato, furin high school, vice-captain of class 1-1, a friend” and nirei is the one mourning that death? or is nirei sitting on, desecrating, even, the grave of some terrible things that suo left behind? suo picking up a leaf fallen onto his head — his responsibility, his unexpected ties to furin? — and gently placing it on nirei. crowning him with a thorned weave, in a sense, with that golden and dying autumn leaves.

[hahahafangirl]

on the aborted move to remove his jacket: suo is clearly unsure. he moves to remove his jacket subconsciously — and thats the real suo, perhaps — before forcing himself to abandon it. in a sick and twisted way the mask he donned at furin is the truest self he has. or, has he pretended for so long that he thought that little boy is real, having forgotten who he was, who he is supposed to be?

the jacket and the scarf are additional (unnecessary) layers, with the cooling weather as a flimsy excuse for putting them on, same with the thin lies that we know are lies and yet hes so good and brutal with it that we cannot help but doubt, just for a little bit, and thats all he needed to beat nirei down to prevent him from digging further. a distraction, a temporary deflection is all he needed to make his next move, which is (has mostly been) slipping away. the only time he did not slip away is when it matters— when hes so, so easy to read, because thats when he reveals himself so plainly.

the uncovering— suo almost, almost let himself reveal his heart to nirei. deep down maybe hes so, so tempted to remove his mask and confess everything to nirei; except that suo has never been the type, and so never will, give up the whole truth so easily. but, like a jacket he can go without, suo probably wants (fantasizes) to leave a hint so that theres always a glimmer of hope that nirei will find him and drags him out of whatever personal hell he is putting himself it (returning to). suo cant deal with nirei definitively interfering, but if theres a thin, thin sliver of possibility, then theres hope, then there are daydreams, and that’d have been enough. but of course suo wont do that to nirei, so he didnt. but then he leaves nirei out to the cold, down-beaten.

you see then the contradiction of trying to save those who loves you from yourself. either way you hurt them, yes, you, by your own hands regardless of intention. and this is self-sabotage: suo condemned himself by and for beaten nirei, effectively forcing his friends hands into abandoning him. because how can he explain himself for this? and yes, it is a cowards move. he can bravely head into hell himself but it is still a cowardly thing for avoiding this vulnerability, this confessing. but i suppose he chose his battle.

[hahahafangirl]

the metaphor galore has once again arrived and im gonna need a business day on this one. suo in clothes that covered him even more than usual, presumably more than what the weather warrants (not just nirei, but everyone elses also wearing their usual clothes). the scarf specifically hiding his mouth when he kicked nirei, where before, where facial expressions are concerned, his smiles reveal his feelings. nirei saying “you become so easy to read when it matters.” suo froze for a beat before summoning that laugh when nirei asks if they are friends. nirei being the first one to injure suo. THE FIRST ONE TO CONNECTS A HIT ON SUO (which we can only guess if suo saw it coming or not— i say he did). suo moves to, then aborted the action of, removing his jacket to cover nirei. resting nirei against the concrete tree planter that looked like a headstone. kill your darling? kill your friendship kill your love kill “suo hayato, furin high school, vice-captain of class 1-1, a friend” and nirei is the one mourning that death? or is nirei sitting on, desecrating, even, the grave of some terrible things that suo left behind? suo picking up a leaf fallen onto his head — his responsibility, his unexpected ties to furin? — and gently placing it on nirei. crowning him with a thorned weave, in a sense, with that golden and dying autumn leaves.

[hahahafangirl]

im a suo apologist. yes he did it. yes what he did is wrong. but is it a good thing? yes it is.

[hahahafangirl]

well. i gotta think about this one.

[occasionalficwriter]

starting a collection of moments we cant see suo's eye

evil version:

less evil happy version

back of the head??

and the serious version

[hahahafangirl]

im a suo apologist. yes he did it. yes what he did is wrong. but is it a good thing? yes it is.

[elierlick]

Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.

[fus-mar-hoz]

Another limitation of the existing literature is its predominant focus on physiological outcomes, with little consideration of the social, psychological and cultural factors that also shape sport performance (eg, stigmatisation, discrimination, access to opportunities, self-concept, self-esteem). Transgender individuals are known to face elevated risks of adverse mental health outcomes,[79] largely due to systemic stigma and discrimination across multiple contexts,[80{ including sports.[81] [82] Yet, the impact of these sociocultural factors on athletic engagement and achievement remains insufficiently addressed in the available studies and, consequently, in this review.

[grey-spark]

I just realized that Suo is not surprised by the natto. He's actually surprised Nirei accidentally spoke to someone who knows him.

He's surprised Nirei figured anything out about him at all.

This also implies somebody who knows Suo intimately was stalking his activity at Bofurin, and Nirei stumbled into them. This might actually be a serious plot point hiding in plain sight.

[rainnbzj]

suou when i catch you

[santapau]

Remind me later.