Side blog @halcyon-longing - Tumblr Blog

littlemissmiserypet

Theme requested: shibari/ropes

beidak

composer of the night sky

ladywolfsmal

some of y'all never had crushes on unromanceable npcs and it shows

newvegascowboy

My biggest issues with how people portray Danse is that hes very often portrayed as humorless and distant when. That is literally not true at all and anyone who doesnt believe me and reduces his character to a static kne dimensional object needs to reevaluate themselves.

More on this later because I have to go back to work in about 30 seconds and I dont want to get tilted

newvegascowboy

Anyway, I’m back.

Danse’s sense of humor is one of my favorite things about fallout 4 because it’s so dry and once you realize “oh this man is actually telling a joke” it becomes 10000 times easier to attribute some of the stuff he says to his deadpan humor.

My favorite thing he says in the entire game is, “This isnt the navy you know,” in this incredibly derisive tone if you wade into water. Like! Calm down on the sass, dude.

Also, “that’s not something they teach in bootcamp,” when you pick a lock or what he says about mirelurks having no respect about historical significance when you’re at the Castle. That’s a joke, babes!

Here’s some Quality Danse Humor I found in like, 30 seconds of looking at the wiki

“It appears this vessels navigator made a grievous miscalculation.”

said at the wreck of the USS Riptide

“The putrid stink of dishonesty hangs heavy in the air here… or maybe that’s just the brahmin.”

said at Bunker Hill

“My advice for hunting a deathclaw? Return to base and forget about it. You’ll live longer.“

that’s just good advice tbh

“You like roughing it, huh?”

said when falling from a high place

“And of course, one of my other favorite lines in the entire game, ”….That shouldn’t be a problem, as long as the Minutemen don’t get in my way.“

Anyway. Once you realize his humor is mostly dry as hell, all the dumb shit he says suddenly becomes ten times funnier because its clear hes just telling a joke.

Go forth and educate yourselves and write better danse meta because he deserves it thanks bye

metalforhands

a few of my favorite danse lines just to further prove op’s point:

“Be careful, he could be concealing an… on second thought, he’s probably just out of his mind.”

said upon coming across a raider wearing a mascot head

“The information contained within this robot’s memory banks is vital to the survival of lushes and drunks across the Commonwealth.”

said after finding drinkin’ buddy

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to sleeping comfortably underneath massive containers of highly flammable gas.“

said on the prydwen

solsikkepop

And what about that one drunk joke that got cut out or whatever floating around here somewhere where he’s like “Don’t worry, the only reason I’m here is to get slightly intoxicated. Mission accomplished” like that’s. Fucking hilarious

marvilus-magpie

“Don’t look at me. This wasn’t my idea.“

said right before the staged bar fight to boost Travis’ confidence.

“If the shoreline continues eroding, there won’t be much left of the Commonwealth to liberate.“

said while looking at the houses falling into the water at Natick Banks

“When you’re doing deep recon, you get used to eating whatever you can find. On the other hand… I think I’d rather starve than eat this stuff.”

said at Longneck Lacowski’s cannery

“Someone needs to teach that vessel’s navigator a few lessons.”

said after watching the U.S.S. Constitution crash into a second building.

“That’s an interesting colloquialism. Local, I take it?”

said after sole talks about having a “dick measuring” competition with Ronnie Shaw

“Lookout, I don’t want to flatten you.”

said when about to jump off something behind you

“The food in the mess hall isn’t bad… well, as long as you don’t smell it before you eat it.”

Said when on the Prydwen

and let’s not forget “Ad Victoriam”

said as you are crawling out of bed!!

lokirulz

Danse is just midwestern as fuck.

wokeuplaughing

hey guys reminder to not make “feral” jokes because se hjsh skjdjksj jsdjdh jj jhjhfhjs hhsu iuehsjd mbns hsdkjwbnjk oiasioi ajshjdsaj bjfkdjfbgjkahw hahsh shsh hhskshf aadas hfhfhasgdagsd ddd hdhs qjjq kjqwjk bhassakjafb

ghc-deactivated20190415

this is written like one of those fallout terminal entries where during the last entry the author succumbs to radiation poisioning mid sentence

micolashes-deactivated20200723

ratguzzler-deactivated20181213

kid in a fridge quest is the dumbest shit bethesdas ever written and thats saying a lot

anarch0possum

giving the player character a heterosexual relationship and one of two specific gender based pre-war occupations was dumber

ratguzzler-deactivated20181213

listen, that was off putting and bad but it doesnt compare to ‘kid is locked in a fridge on a road when the bombs drop, ghoulifies, stays there for 200 years, is completely fine mentally when let out and only a little bummed about his whole situation, says ‘hey mister, can you help me find my parents?’ and they are not only also ghoulified, not only also just fine mentally, not only still married after 200 years, they are 5 fucking minutes away.’ not to mention the cookie cutter slaver npc who just barges in for your bog standard very good or very evil moral choice where you can sell the kid or not. ive written better shit than that in 3rd grade and i dont work for a multimillion dollar blockbusting *jim sterling voice* triple a game company