update 2024-07-04
Been sitting on these thoughts for a few days now and i think it's time to share them. I've been doing relatively fine I guess, but my own personal responsibilities/routines keep getting in the way.
Based on some thoughts i've had the past couple of months I think it's time to just take another break again, as in "I need time to get myself together again" and not "I've forgotten about drawing for a while" type of deal.
I'd like to refrain from posting/being active on social media. The way i structure my uploads/categorize my work feels stiff and drawing just to post feels like bad motivation for me. It's really been like that for a long time- social media showed me a bunch of cool people making cool drawings doing cool things, and I thought, maybe if I followed that, I would get the same attention.
long story short, I was not prepared to set aside time for drawing, being diligent enough to put time into my work, to learn from my work, to know about the business side of drawing for money, the risk of self-doubt and self-burnout…! From my own experience and that of the people i've followed. Even when i started making these announcements/journals shortly after rebranding to half-an-ox, it did little to shed my inabilities.
going to a wider point of view, my internet use/computer/smart device has been throughout my waking life. A constant "escape" in just about all parts of my life. I've never felt what else life had to offer me, whether i was rightfully reluctant to engage with or not.
Even with the few connections I made online I have been relatively really bad at maintaining/being aware of them and it only served to exacerbate my solitary character and leave it for dead. I don't want to have to do any of that.
This isn't a departure-rebrand from "half-an-ox", but working to be a more proactive/organized person behind the name. However long it takes it'll involve putting myself first in creative work before any other audience, and I'll give myself more focus on other priorities. speaking of which… All "announcements" I make from then on will be situated on a blog i'd like to start up. It's mostly general/multi-subject but I think that would help in reflecting on drawing rather than sparsely detailed updates on what I put out, the former which i have more interest in anyway.
much thank you to those that've took note of my work after all my time spent. here's to coming back better.
-half an ox