gay and annoyed

i was probably supposed to be born a pisces. chaotic neutral. i make a lot of dad and depression jokes & this blog is a giant shitpost. i love the colour blood orange and remus lupin.

[selinas-deactivated20251210]

Happy Halloween! 🎃

[winterherny]

All my shoes somehow magically disappeared. But I’m not concerned. They’ll show up sometime - even when you least expect it.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[fifty-shadesofgay]

i just astral projected back to 2009

[teainawineglass]

Holy shit

[lovelessblade]

The more time that passes the funnier this gets because a lot of people won’t understand it.

[feministism]

[mothsfuzz]

Tbh im kinda pissed im not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden

[lightbearers]

Where am I? 

BLAIR WITCH (August 30th, 2019) for PC and Xbox One.

[galindatopland]

me: learns something absolutely cursed i wish i could unlearn

me, texting a friend: hey guess what i just found out

[sjp]

list of things she did: 1. that

[sridevi]

she really did!

[kidkendoll-deactivated20240714]

#ImWithHer

[stars-bean]

Favourite drink? - Chris Evans for Men’s Journal

[bargalaxies]

on the twelfth hour of the first day of october, forty-three women around the world gave birth. this was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. sir reginald hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

                                                   HE GOT SEVEN OF THEM.

[afloweroutofstone]

Free: this Blackberry I just fished out of a creek

[themrfluff]

You’re standing in the exact location a businessman realized that what’s truly important, is family.

[paranoidgemsbok]

i hate when people are like UHM FRUIT ISNT ACTUALLY GOOD FOR YOU IT HAS A LOT OF SUGAR like shut the fuck up go eat your nutritionally complete meal powder you bought off a fucking kickstarter project okay let me enjoy a clementine 

[zooophagous]

God SAME.

It even goes beyond that, like if I ever eat a raw vegetable for my own health I always get shit like “yeah but the dressing is super bad for you so you canceled it out by eating ranch with it” or “carrots have tons of carbs they’re basically sugar”

And I’m just like for real? I can’t have a baby carrot with ranch? I can’t have some fucking grapes? If the only truly “”“pure”“” food I can eat is raw celery and a daily multivitamin I’d quite honestly and truly rather just be dead.

[dredsina]

Just because something has a lot of calories or sugar doesn’t mean it’s bad for you. Veggies and fruits have a ton of vitamins and minerals and fiber and you NEED calories for like…your body to work. So who cares if you smother them in ranch. Just don’t dip a clementine in ranch

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

I’m gonna dip a clementine in ranch.

[quinzelade]

Why do you hate Jesus

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

Jesus is my homeboy but God has a lot to answer for and my rebellion will continue until he does so.

[courtenaybird]

[lizznotliz]

I wish I’d known this in undergrad.

[killsmedead]

Sending this to my coworkers on Monday.

[novel-like-you-mean-it-deactiva]

You forgot the best one: filetype: <what ever file type you need> For example, use filetype: pdf to get on pdfs in your search

[stonecrop]

I’m both pro herbal medicine and pro vaccination because you can treat burns with aloe vera juice and sore throats with lavender infused honey but you can’t rid a country of polio with plants. 

[caelysiiirl]

legit my mom uses traditional / herbal medicine and remedies all the time and they work but I still get all my necessary vaccinations whenever necessary because she was a nurse and she’s not dumb and they also work

[scottstiles]

Tyler Posey as Gabriel in Now Apocalypse (2019)

[fetchthebolts]

netflix: just not enough people wanted another season of one day at a time so we canceled it :/

me:

[maxofs2d]

https://twitter.com/TweetChizone/status/1102654150129664000