wasambition
i was right about you. you’re the one. i have always been self aware, i knew I was d i f f e r e n t from the other kids. i was smarter but i was also MORE AFFLICTED. that’s what led me to study psychiatry. to better understand my disorder. it wasn’t until medical school that I had my first breakthrough though. i would laugh along with my idiot colleagues but i knew the woman on the table wasn’t my girlfriend. she was my mother. she was 33 years old; the same age as my mother when she abandoned me. the same age as you, lana. now I knew, logically, rationally, that the woman on the table wasn’t my mother. but somehow in the cosmic joke that is my life i felt that she could be. & it was ( poetic justice ) that i would be meeting her for the first time on a slab in my gray’s anatomy class. it was then that I knew what i was missing. a mother’s touch. skin to skin contact. it’s what I was craving, it’s what i was missing. MY WHOLE LIFE. oh, but she smelled of formaldehyde. & her SKIN, even after i removed it, was cold & stiff. have you ever read or heard about the harlow studies? baby reeses monkeys were separated from their mothers after birth & they were given two substitute mothers. a wire mesh one with milk, and another covered in terrycloth. every monkey preferred the terrycloth mother, even if it didn’t have milk, because of the skin. even monkeys know the difference. i tried, i really tried. but that cadaver did nothing to quiet my craving. i needed someone a little more lively. THE LIVING SKIN.
ind. oliver thredson
