hello! this blog will be going under a rework soon, but you may still call me astro in the meantime. as a disclaimer, i do not support qwelver or blushcrunch studios.
i'm an adult, and go by he/him pronouns. i am transgender male, gay, and aromantic. i also run @antiendogourdy, though not often.
this blog will be used for my ramblings, what i find interesting, and overall discourse discussion. i do not queue posts and will probably not post/interact too often.
do be aware that due to my age and how my identity operates, there may be times where i post/reblog suggestive or 18+ content. it will be appropriately tagged, however i cannot control every post of mine that may reach your feed. if need be, block my tag "#๐ .. the moon's dreams (18+) .txt" ! if you do not know how, send me an ask and i can show you. :)
i do not consent to being posted to blocklists of any form, and i will see you as a coward and someone who condones the harassment of others if i am found to be on a blocklist. i do not expect to be met with upmost kindness, however if i am staying in my lane, i expect you to stay in yours. i do respond to majority of asks, with proper trigger warnings as needed. i do not take the internet too seriously!
always remember that how you interact with me does affect people's perception of your community. a large part of my resentment towards endogenics and their related counterparts is the treatment of those opposing them. you all often sound like a cult! and i want no part in it.
furthermore, i don't mind respectful questions about my stances or beliefs either. i believe that education is the forefront of dismantling harmful ideas! if you're rude or anything though, thats where i'll have problems. -> aka :: if you're endo&co or anything, but have genuine questions towards me, i don't mind answering them in the inbox! just be aware that if it a repeat or rude then i may not always respond.
banner crafted by the lovely (/plat) anti-willo-yatta!
icon is by icedaggered (hue has been changed though)
my stances can be found here -> ๐
my byi can be found here -> tbd
my masterlist can be found here -> tbd
faq ::
"why do you have a syscourse stance if you don't disclose if you're a system / you are not diagnosed?"
endos&co have affected me and my close loved ones for years because of their ableism and harassment. i've been "syscovered" for four years now. i'm not obligated to tell you my "status" on my diagnosis. can y'all stop asking this to me now my fucking god it's just annoying atp y'all gotta learn something else to say
I have been trying to figure out what to rebrand my blog to for... At minimum a week now. I'm still deciding, as I'm going to rebrand @antiendogourdy as well (however, that one will probably be adjusted to be halloween themed resource hoarding, admittedly).
I can't decide what to change this blog to, so I'm hoping to ask for suggestions. The poll below is just the blog name ideas I've came up with ... but idk.
making a post about this because its been on my mind a lot lately, but i want to make one thing clear to you all.
someones age and/or poor mental health is NEVER an excuse for sending people death/suicide threats, and SHOULD NEVER be used to limit consequences for those choices.
i dont give a flying fuck about how young someone is, or how much theyre going through in their personal life. i know damn well that when i was a severely mentally ill 15 year old, i sure as hell wasnt telling people to kill themselves on tumblr dot com. it has nothing to do with a persons age or their mental illness. shitty people are shitty people regardless of these factors, and babying people like that when they do objectively wrong shit will only encourage that behavior.
No, I shouldn't love endos, they've actually done a LOT to me over the years! This lets me know SO easily you've never seen my blog or my posts, as I've talked about what they've done to me many many times.
Some things they've done to me, though not all, include;
- Manipulate me and my headmates into believing we "were not traumatized enough"
- Made us believe that splitting was a GOOD thing, and that the dissociation didn't exist
- Made us believe we didn't have a dissociative disorder, and that our systemhood was actually from our autism (spoiler alert: this set us back in recovery a LOT)
- Made us believe it was a terrible thing for alters in our system to fuse or for integration to occur (once again: set us back in recovery)
- Made us believe that we were just "born" plural; which is not true.
And a LOT more that I could write a list on! Let us not forget the endless amounts of harassment i have also received from them though, which includes rape, sexual assault, suicide, and self harm threats!
Been contemplating rebranding this blog, as I have never been super active in the anti-endo community (especially now seeing that I have been trying to disconnect from discourse), and seeing now that there have been so many conflicts involving the anti willoverse (which, I personally don't really see us a part of? Idk, I've never been active in it after I witnessed a "little bit" of conflict in the server when I made my first anti-willo blog a while ago.), I've just been thinking abt it in general.
This blog would always remain a discourse blog because that's simply what I've always used it as, but I'd probably stop using the anti-willoverse tag on my posts and post a bit more broadly about my discourse stances instead of just about syscourse โ Also just somewhat slightly thinking of redoing our blog theme too because of the shit with Qwelver, but at the same time I don't want to redo BOTH of our blogs, since antiendogourdy is also ours (albeit extremely neglected)
i have another post about possibly rebranding queued to post at a better time since it is very early in our timezone, but wtv
just wanted to post and let it be known that we are not going anywhere, even if we change URLs/themeing :)
this blog specifically will always be discourse related. its the entire reason why we created the blog and made it seperate from our actual personal tumblr page. we are always open to respectful discussions & interactions, and never will harass others based on how they dictate their identity, but that does not mean we support it outright.
as another alter said in an older post: even if non traumagenic plurality has sources behind it one day, we will still be deeply uncomfortable with it due to how we have been treated by the community, the harm it's caused others, who the community platforms, and the origins of the community itself; once they begin to properly process and actually get over the ableism ingrained in their community, maybe this will change. it probably won't, but there's a small sliver of a chance if that entire community actually shows they want to uplift cdds instead of stifle them down for shits & giggles.
we will never condone harassment in any regard on our page, and we'll probably make a more "formal" post later when we rebrand and all'at, but for now, i want to leave off with this (and this may be me being petty, but wtv)
you cannot excuse telling people to harm themselves, in any regard, and if you try to make up excuses for it instead of owning up to it or better yet, trying to stop and/or work on that behaviour, you're a nasty person.
in no world will it ever be okay to tell others to downright harm themselves.
(yes, this is somewhat targetted, namely at somebody my system had a few problems with near the start of the year, prior to the anti willoverse forming. this will be my only post about it.)
Apparently I have to elaborate this because people are, well, stupid. But when anti endos say early endos formed from a hate group, they do not mean they are on the same level as the KKK. What they mean is that:
- Anti cdd sentiment was baked into the actions of the movement
- Those actions made cdd ableism a major part of early endogenic communities
- Very little active attempt to deconstruct these beliefs are done by most endogenic plurals or their supporters
- When called out on it, the endogenic communities collective response has been to deny, act defensive, and refuse to look inward.
now will people online listen to cdd disabled people? about ableism? please? im tired of seeing people think that my disorder is just personalities? can we also stop with the whole "systemhood is only a symptom" as if it's its own seperate symptom/phenomena and not caused directly by other symptoms & reactions in osddid?
"i can be plural without osddid because its only a symptom" actually no you cant because its symptoms. systemhood is a mash up of symptoms. its not its own entirely seperate thing. its caused by everything else. if you dont experience the rest of the symptoms to some degree then you most likely will not experience systemhood. quit spreading ableist misinformation.
happy disability pride month! now listen to the systems around you instead of the ableists you think "sound nicer".
wow hi im still alive! heatwave has been beating my arse up a tree, plus huge dissociative issues, anyways
hot take that shouldnt be a hot take i just thought about it
gatekeeping resources, pro-endo or anti-endo, from other people who share that they could benefit from the resource (regardless of origin, stance, wtv) is being an asshole. idc if youre anti endo, pro endo, endo neu, whatever. gatekeeping resources is weird and it always will be.
you cannot stop people from using resources that may be able to help them; in the end it isnt your place either to tell you what will and will not help that person with whatever the fuck they wanna use it for. you can state you dont support that community, and make it extremely apparent, but you cannot restrict people from an aid. thats just being scummy and, going out on a limb here, dangerous for those you make the aid for because you're making it to where they must PROVE to you their disability or issue to use the aid/resource you've created
I saw this on an otherkin confessional blog and it genuinely baffled me.
Context, it was an anonymous confession that simply stated that they reccomended plurality to anybody who was polykin or had previously questioned if they were a system. Saying that it made them happy to have friends in their head and see their identity as seperate from them.
Thank god the reblogs agreed that you should never RECCOMEND it to people since it can both be incredibly dangerous to discover if you aren't ready, but it can also induce further dissociation/depersonalization in people that may not have it.
Can we like. Not. Encourage people and other entities in general to dissociate and attempt to "break apart" their identity. Please?
you use the same pfp that our Astro fictive uses and heโs losing his mind,,, claims itโs the only photo he actually feels looks like himself,,, this boy will not shut up
Gonna be tagging this with all my stances because I've seen this in all areas of "discourse" but holy shit can people stop assuming that being anti-anything means you're harassing people??????
Like what does "I personally do not support this" mean to pro-endos and proshippers (as I see it most with these two groups). Do they think it means "I hate all of you and I hope you die and I'm going to get in your dms to bitch at you personally" or something????????????
Like. Idk. I block/dni with those that with for anti endos to dni, I'm in my own little stream, I ain't gettin' in yalls!!!
A lot of therians have plural-adjacent experiences. One of the reasons so many alterhuman, including therian, spaces are accepting of all systems is because a lot of people within them are plural or plural adjacent. Will you harass a therian for seeing their theriotypes as separate entities? Or a therian who experiences walk-in spirits? Or a therian who is just multiple autonomous animals?
These communities have had an overlap since the early internet where a lot of websites crosslinked to each other. Plurality is also included as an opt in within alterhumanity because of that. Therianthropy and adjacent communities were really appealing to people looking to distance themselves from the medical model and explore nonhumanity without that expectation.
Plus the views of "I am an animal regardless of my physical body and people think this it's weird" and "I am multiple separate people regardless of my physical body and people think it's weird" have a lot of solidarity in general. I've seen a lot of anti-endos lately argue that alterhumans are appropriating delusions in exactly the same way. There is a reason a community of people who often get armchair diagnosed with delusions for non-disordered experiences might be wary of people who armchair others with non-disordered experiences with CDDs.
You're talking about sacrificing comfort, but your discomfort is with other people for just existing. The comfort of therians who are more than one, plural or not, is also important. A lot of these therians are ones who have been in the community for decades.
I fear you have misunderstood why I am uncomfortable with endogenics, and have not seen any of my other posts where I discuss that I think things like spiritual plurality COULD be a thing so long as it quits being equated to disordered experiences, lmfao. Also what is with every anon in my inbox and assuming that I harass people holy shit if anything I receive harassment myself ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
Regardless, though. The whole reason why I am uncomfortable with it, and why I state that I sacrifice my comfort "because of people just existing" is because the terms they use are DEMEDICALIZED and are non-disordered experiences being put on par with disordered ones; many "endo-neu" servers I have experience in have directly harmed me one way or another. Whether it be that I've been directly fed misinformation (examples included but were not limited to: not all delusions are harmful, therianthropy is schizophrenia-adjacent, systemhood is not a disorder, final fusion is harmful for your headmates, dormancy is bad, systems can't be polykin, etc etc.) or that I was outright not treated as seriously as I felt I should've just because I was a system. I wouldn't have nearly as much of a problem with endos & pro-endos as I do if they didn't keep using medical terminology to describe non-medical experiences, if they didn't keep mirroring the hate groups they say they aren't derived from, and if they just for the love of everything out there QUIT saying that EVERYTHING is SYSTEMHOOD. (+ stopped harassing people like holy shit i've seen at least 8 blogs discuss wanting to harass anti-endos for their views, jfc)
Plurality and Systemhood/Multiplicity should not be treated as the same thing, and I NEEEEEED people to QUIT treating them as if they equate to eachother. One is an identity where somebody wants to describe their multiple coherent identity labels / complex identity, the other is a fucking disorder :')
People can label their experiences whatever the hell they want, I literally cannot stop you, but it is not wrong for me to wish that there was an active space I could be in where I don't have to be afraid that somebody is going to say that their polykinnity is the same as my systemhood, or that my systemhood isn't disordered because I don't discuss it impeding on me 24/7, etc. (And yes, these fears ARE warranted for me, as I HAVE had direct experience in MANY communities about it).
The day I'm able to find a therianthropy Discord or Tumblr community that is actually active AND anti-endo is the day I become a millionaire apparently
Like why is it so hard for a creature to find a community to chill in that isn't pro-ableism or neutral-ableism I shouldn't have to sacrifice my comfort to be able to meet other animals :(
signed your favorite lunar lycanthrope (<- species, not claiming to have the delusion ... i prefer the term lycanthrope over werewolf lol)
