it's here! the Met Gala for people who actually understand what camp is!
yes I'm like 3 months late, but I sat down and watched the damn thing. I put up with the horrible little rhyming couplets for each contestant so you don't have to. and without further ado:
Albania: Starting off very Victoriaās Secret this year! Apparently itās gold for important symbolism reasons, not just because everything in this competition is blinged out to within an inch of its life. The wings do look nice in motion!
Angola has a good balance of bling, actual cultural dress, and oh hey it has surprise bonus art on the back! That will be a theme this year.
Argentina: Why is there a guy in a hat right down at the bottom edge of her cape. He looks like heās staring at her butt. How does this represent their flag.
Aruba: This is fine. I like the coral. She thinks climate change is bad. Her parrot is clearly way too heavy to hold up and it wobbles like crazy in motion.
Australia: This is now multiple years in a row that Australia has just worn a fucking prom dress. Itās got native wildflowers on. You could have made this exact same dress with a Great Barrier Reef theme and I would have liked it 80% more.
Bahamas: This costume is allegedly based on a 19th-century doll from the Bahamas āworld famous straw market,ā which is already bullshit; I googled ābahamas straw market antique dollā and like. they both have big skirts? I guess? Anyway now Iām too distracted by the way she has a hoop skirt awkwardly jammed under there and hiked up on one side. Minus ten for poor construction.
Bahrain's theme is āBahrainās pearl heritage,ā which like. I guess? The headdress and yoke are pretty. Put more pearls on the actual outfit. Kudos for getting to wear pants.
Belgium: Girl. No. Why is your theme āLatin danceā and why are you wearing a spangly cocktail dress with a totally unrelated piece of fabric fluttering behind it? (Apparently the fabric was designed by a member of Belgiumās royal family? Who is a fashion designer? This is what nepotism gets you.)
Bolivia saw Arubaās parrot and was like, I can do that better. And she was right! Itās way less wobbly and the costume as a whole does work better. Also made from recycled materials, so weāll see if thatās a theme again this year. The back of the cape is nice too.
Sadly, Bolivia's parrot supremacy was short-lived, because Brazil was like, bitch please. I see your sad little parrots and raise you FOUR giant parrots, and also the shoulder parrots are articulated and can turn their heads back and forth. I think Brazil wins the parrot competition that only she knew she was in.
British Virgin Islands: This is a prom dress and a flag. Her headdress has an extremely complicated Catholic backstory and Iām not listening to all of that. Boo.
Bulgaria: Nothing about this says āgolden owlā to me aside from, you know. Itās gold. Also her wings are crooked. Itās fine, I guess? The dress part looks well-made.
Cambodia is wearing traditional cultural dress with extra bling, which as we have established in previous years is like voting āpresent.ā
Cameroonās costume is so big she had to come through the door to the stage sideways. I think I would like it better without All of That, tbh? like I think using actual photos on a costume inevitably looks worse than literally any other option, plus itās crooked, plus āWomenās Empowermentā is so ubiquitous in this competition it barely even counts as a theme anymore.
Canada decided to represent āthe values of diversity and acceptanceā by sticking a bunch of extra flags on a giant sparkly maple leaf. Okay! On the back it says āInclusivity Makes Dreams Come Trueā in badly kerned sparkly letters.
Cayman Islands: This looks like a rejected Poison Ivy costume but itās actually about the pygmy blue butterfly, āone of the smallest in the world!ā As a rule I like Tributes to One Hyperspecific Thing, so Iām giving this a pass.Ā
Chile is a sexy Andean condor! I love this. She looks like those bits of Howlās Moving Castle where he turns into a bird.
Columbia is āinspired by an iconic river in the Llanos region.ā The flag/mural is unnecessary and doesnāt match her costume, but the actual outfit is nice.
Costa Rica: Very respectable Sea Queen. Well constructed (nothing is crooked or wobbly) and I like the headdress and the pearl drapes. The seafoam train is good, too.
Croatia: Oh honey. She looks embarrassed, and she should.
Curacao: I have to assume there are some local politics around the Olympics in Curacao that I know nothing about. If I had any context whatsoever Iām sure this would be a very good costume.
Czech Republic: Boo. This is a cocktail dress. If youāre doing a Bohemian garnet theme (which is a great idea!) get Victorian about it at minimum.
Denmark: I get that dragons are a Viking thing but the design makes it look like they borrowed an old costume from somewhere in Central or South America and added a dragon hat to match. Fun to look at, but confusing.
Dominican Republic: You know what, I actually like this plantain-themed costume. Sure.
Ecuador: YES I love this! Sheās a sexy train! A SPECIFIC sexy train! Her hat lights up! It has a train of literal train tracks. Fantastic work.
Egypt: huh okay so this is a protest against pollution in the Nile River? Are you sure you didnāt request āsexy goth pharaohā and work backwards from there? Okay.
El Salvador's headdress is a little wobbly but itās a very good volcano gown otherwise. She has little bejewled ear covers like a fancy elf. And it lights up! Nice. The crowd is going apeshit because the competition is hosted in El Salvador this year.
Equatorial Guinea: I donāt like the leaf placement on this (please stop and think before you put important design elements directly over the crotch!) and those arm drapes just never look very good. This ranks low on the Rejected Poison Ivy Costume list, sorry.
Finland: I was confused by this for a minute, but itās sexy Little My from the Moomin books and I genuinely love it. She even committed to the angry eyebrows.Ā
France is doing Standard Showgirl, and saying itās a Moulin Rouge thing doesnāt really change that. Also the asymmetry just kind of makes it look like one of her bodice cups is falling down.
Germany decided to do sexy Disney Rapunzel and I do not think I respect that. Please commit to 20 feet of hair and a real skirt.
Great Britain is a Tribute to the Oxford English Dictionary, so this gets a pass even though I donāt actually think the execution is very good. The back in particular looks like a middle schooler did it.
Greece does do a variation on this costume most years, but theyāve never been this explicit about asking for the Parthenon Marbles back. I am usually opposed to text on costumes because itās almost always cheesy (see also: the prior costume) but this one Iāll allow.
Guatemala: oh, this is a fun Giant Flower look! It collapses into a reasonably non-cumbersome train, too, and I like the petroglyph-esque designs around the petals.
Poor Guyana is clearly StrugglingĀ to haul that thing on stage. Luckily she has an eject button. Oh, and a big unfolding fan cape thing? Okay I know this is Miss Universe National Costume, the Too Much competition, but it turns out that there is actually such a thing as Too Much and weāve finally found it.
Honduras also had to enter the stage sideways, but itās a good Standard Showgirl: Indigenous Fiber Arts Edition. I feel like the arm drapes detract more than they add, though, once again.
Hungary REALLY committed to those sleeves, which I guess I respect. This is a pretty good attempt at updating traditional cultural dress with a high-fashion silhouette, so I wish I liked it more than I do.
Iceland is just wearing a dress. Like I see the Midnight Sun theming and the headdress is okay, but this is mid at best.
India: I like the color palette and the design! Itās still kinda voting Present, though.
Indonesia: This has a LOT going on. There were multiple bodice covers that she pulled off as she walked down the runway, that giant headdress/fin situtation was wobbling a LOT, and the whole costume has a ton of detail. I think I would like this more in a photoshoot that let me see everything.
Ireland: This is a very good recycled-materials Sea Queen or a GREAT Power Rangers villain. Approve either way.Ā
Italy: Okay this took me a minute but I think itās a Leonardo da Vinci theme? Iām into that if so.
Jamaica, you didnāt need a whole backstory about earthquakes in the 1600s. This is Miss Universe, your country is an island and youāre wearing a spangly marine life costume. Itās fine.
Japan: Hm. I donāt think I like the concept of a Muppet-fur kimono. I would have been okay with just voting Present this once.
Kazakhstan: Very respectable Warrior Queen/Jupiter Ascending/Daenerys Targan look. No notes.
Korea does a fancy hanbok almost every year. Isnāt white a mourning color in Korea, though? This is a weird choice.
Kosovo might read as less of Just An Evening gown if I knew the specific singer itās apparently a tribute to? But itās very much just an evening gown.
Laos: This dress apparently āsymbolizes patience.ā Considering how long it probably takes to rig up the shoulder harness for the headdress/backpiece thing, that seems fair.
Latvia: āThe daisy is the national flower of Latvia.ā okay??? what does that have to do with this dress? Iām barely reading ādaisyā from it. Either make it more obviously a daisy or get weirder with it; this is too in-betweeny for me.
Jordan is wearing a prom dress with a cape, and visibly struggling not to step on her hem. Boo. Also there was a weird skip in the video here.
Maltaās sexy butterfly is vaguely Pride-themed! Thatās cool. It looks easy to walk in, too.
Mauritius: Iām sorry but this is some wish.com looking shit. Is that polyester? You canāt even get a good look at the art on her skirt with the way sheās holding it.
Mexico: THIS is how you owl. Bulgaria, take notes. āMystical owl-deerā is a great concept to start with and itās SUPER fun to look at. Someone please write the doorstop YA fantasy trilogy this outfit belongs to.
Mongolia is dressed as the space empress that Kazakhstanās lesser space nobility will lead an uprising against. Iām into it, obviously.
Myanmar had to enter sideways with her giant money-themed costume, which is listing dangerously to one side. She is taking the tiniest little steps. I am concerned.
Namibia: Once again I am begging you, Miss Universe National Costume designers, to think about whether you really want to place major elements directly over the contestantās crotch. That is a weird place to put a disturbingly realistic antelope head.
Nepal isā¦ against war? Cool, me too. What is on your head.
Netherlands: Sexy Tulip is a completely reasonable costume by the standards of this pageant. I like that itās rainbow on the inside. Not a showstopper, but respectable.
Nicaragua: I do like this, but Chile did it better. Itās REALLY sparkly, though.
Nigeria: Very respectable warrior goddess look! I like that her backpiece is swords and spears, thatās a fun innovation.
Norway: Oh honey. No. Queen Sonja cannot possibly consider this a flattering tribute.
Pakistan: So it turns out that if you do traditional cultural dress, but you makes it 500% more blingy and hot pink, it counts for more than just voting Present. Good work!
Panama has SO much going on. Thereās musical instruments on the back. This isnāt at Guyana levels but I wish it were more coherent, design-wise.
Paraguay: Iā¦ okay. Please remove the extra flags and make the spangly guitar a prop she can carry instead of the banner painted by a small child, and this will be fine. Also maybe reconsider the tricolor ribbon placement.
Peru: This is fun, very detailed, and she seems to be enjoying wearing it! When she holds her staffs together they make a traditional good-luck symbol.
Philippines: Fantastic. Love the fringe. More costumes should be sexy gundams. I hope she hangs out with Ecuador. Maybe they can Voltron together into an even larger and more powerful pageant contestant.
Poland: I like the folk art papercut hem, but otherwise this is a flag-color prom dress. Meh.
I think Portugal is making a bid for the āinspired by JRPG charactersā category, but this does feel vaguely like it was cribbed from a rejected Miss Italy design.
Puerto Rico chose to represent the architecture of Old San Juan by literally just wearing a model of Old San Juan. I donāt hate it? The brick pattern on the skirt is clever and it actually doesnāt look that unwieldy to wear. And the back is like a whole other thing, too.
Russia is doing standard Snow Queen. At least this year itās not quite as much of an overt tribute to imperialism, I guess.
This is the last batch! Also I just noticed the typo in the header of the very first post in this chain!
Apparently Saint Lucia has the most Nobel Prize winners per capita of any country. (They have two, and a small country.) I feel like they should maybe not have let a middle-schooler do the lettering by hand, but this is a weirdly common issue so oh well.
Singapore: Iām gonna be honest, Hungary did a better job of ātraditional cultural dress updated to high-fashion silhouette.ā This just looks like she forgot her pants.
Slovakia: I would like this better if the wheat crown had a big old wheat-trimmed ballgown to go with it. Important Miss Universe National Costume rule: if faced with a choice between ābigger dressā and āsexier outfitā you should choose the former.
South Africa: Oh this is lovely, actually. Sheās ethnically Indian, so sheās wearing Zulu beadwork on a lehenga-inspired gown. I think I would like it a tiny bit better if the green fabric was a more textured silk instead of chiffon, but the concept and execution are both excellent.
Spain: I guess I see the ācarnationā theme but this is, at best, an award show gown. Not even Oscar-level, really. Like Golden Globes at best.
Switzerland: ok lol sheās a sexy Swiss Guard. This would kill a medieval Pope on the spot.
Thailand has done enough variations on this theme that it could be recycled from a previous year and I wouldnāt even know. Voting Present, I guess.
Trinidad and Tobago is a sexy scarlet ibis ON STILTS. I guess with the heels they normally wear this isnāt that much harder to walk in? She seems to be pretty comfortable on them, anyway.
Ukraine: This is a good concept and execution-- the costume does actually evoke both a Valkyrie and clouds of smoke rising and drifting in the wind--Ā but the golden baby statue is creeping me out a little.
This Miss USA costume is verging on self-parody. I think Miss Canada wanted to preemptively outdo her on extra flags, and succeeded. I like her bottle rocket boot bandoliers, though.
Venezuela: This is a well-executed sexy dragon! Unclear on why the giant sparkly cross pendant was necessary. I think if she swapped costumes with Denmark they would both make more sense tbh.
Vietnam has gone MUCH bigger than this in past years, but I get needing a break. The embroidery is very nice and the fabric moves beautifully, so points for construction at least.
And we're done! I hope you enjoyed this tour of, ostensibly, the cultures of the world.
Being an aromantic asexual is weird. We defy not one, not two, but three societal norms; heteronormativity, compulsory sexuality, and amatonormativity. It gets even weirder when youāre indifferent (even favourable!) when it comes to sex and romance because you think your experience is universal, that everyone feels the way you do. Itās not feeling wrong and broken and out of place. Itās feeling normal, and then realizing that you arenāt.
Thinking (read: assuming) that youāre straight for most of your life and then finding out youāre not is weird. Mostly because once you realize youāre not straight, it dawns on you that you feel the same way about boys that you do about girls and non-binary people. And then you wonder if youāre pansexual because theyāre attracted to all genders, and you have to be attracted to someone, right? And then that thought is immediately dismissed because you donāt feel attraction, at all. But it doesnāt stop you from contemplating every other sexuality and romantic orientation, because youāve been taught that everyone wants sex and romance.
And then you remember: you like sex and romance in fiction. You like seeing your friends in happy, healthy, consenting relationships, and youād always assumed that one day, youād be in one too. But youāve never pursued one. You never had more than a fleeting interest in boys, and lingering but still platonic affection for your female and non-binary friends. Those ācrushesā that you had in elementary school? Maybe not crushes after all, because God knows you havenāt had one in nearly eight years. The most powerful feelings youāve had for another person have been squishes so intense that you had to look back and question if it was actually romantic attraction (spoiler: it wasnāt).
And then thereās that epiphanic moment when things start to fall into place. Why you were always so vehement that soulmates could be platonic too. Why the idea of loving someone more than your best friend is incomprehensible (because romantic love is always shown as being more. Hello amatonormativity). Why when you ship fictional pairings, there are people you want to get together romantically, people you want to be friends so bad, and the ships that you like the most are the ones that could go either way. Why you desire emotional closeness and intimacy with the people in your life, but that had always been conflated with sex and romance so you wondered if what you wanted was more than friendship. Why you want to take the expression āmore than friendsāand burn it to the ground because there is no vocabulary for friendship that exceeds ābest friendā without crossing over into romantic and/or sexual territory.
You realize that your ideal relationship isnāt necessarily romantic. Itās best friends who cohabitate and snuggle and hold hands and go on adventures to the library together. Kissing and sex? Well, thatās more of an afterthought. A āyeah, thatāll probably happen somewhere in there.ā An assumption, because youāve been taught that primary, monogamous relationships are always romantic and sexual. You reflect and see that there are very few things that you see and inherently romantic, and that there is a lot of cross-over between things you consider platonic, sensual, and romantic. A grey area that you canāt define.
Being an aromantic asexual is weird, because while Iāve always said that you donāt need romance and sex to be happy, I now realize that it applies to me too.
______________________
Note from mod fitz: This has to be one of the most moving descriptions of this I have ever read. This exactly describes how I felt coming to the realization that I was not straight, and I think had I read this when I first began questioning it would have made things go a lot smoother for me. Thanks so much for submitting!
Me being me, I canāt post this without a disclaimer. This cosplay is not up to my usual standards. The costume came from AliExpress, the material is cheap and the design has a bunch of issues, ļæ¼ but it is what was available and affordable that I could get before the end of my pregnancy. The wig is one that I bought to cosplay Anna from Frozen, so itās lighter than it should be and I had to try to hide the fact that it has bangs.ļæ¼ļæ¼ļæ¼ And obviously I donāt have the boots. ļæ¼So please be kind; Iām already probably judging this cosplay harder than anyone else would. ļ漚 With that out of the way,ļæ¼ļæ¼ this was something I really wanted to do for a maternity photo shoot. Pip is arriving on Monday, and Iām grateful that the outfit arrived on time and that my friend and I were able to do this!ļæ¼ Pipās first cosplay! š„° We did get some very cute pictures, I think, so I just have to sit on my inner cosplay accuracy snob and enjoy them for what they are. šš Hope you all enjoy them too!ļæ¼ Photos by Josh Rubinstein (thank you Josh!). #pregnancy #cosplay #pregnantcosplay #wandavision #wandavisioncosplay #scarletwitch #scarletwitchcosplay #cosplaysnob #pip (at Lake Balboa) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPoFv-sgRx-/?utm_medium=tumblr
This is what happens when you're the oldest cousin at Christmastime. Merry Christmas! #throwbackthursday #tbt #christmasdecor #christmas https://www.instagram.com/p/CJMq4wFAftT/?igshid=3aiqpyx5c1yw
#ThrowbackThursday to 2009 when my friends and I did our cosplay group from Odin Sphere! This is still probably the most elaborate costume Iāve done, the only time Iāve attempted something like a (partial) fursuit or armor. Iām still really proud of the way it came out! To my everlasting sadness, the light-up sword that @tokoz.dragon built for me got broken on the bus on the way to the convention, so I could never draw it. But it looked pretty cool just strapped on my back! Added a few pictures from the construction process of the legs. It was a learning experience! . . . . . . @animecentralofficial @animeexpo #cosplay #odinsphere #odinspherecosplay #tbt #throwback https://www.instagram.com/p/CHzM66mgu8Y/?igshid=1nk0tmdm66k3q
Another custom order is out the door! I learned a lot from this one. It was my first Tuxedo Mask, and if I ever tackle him again, Iām going to have to charge more, because that tuxedo and all of the details took FOREVER. š But Iām really pleased with how he came out, and I hope the owner will be too! Fly safely and swiftly, little bear outfits! #buildabear #buildabearsofinstagram #bearcostume #bearcostumes #costume #costumes #cosplay #teddybearcosplay #sailorbears #sailormoon #tuxedomask #sailormooncosplay #tuxedomaskcosplay #animecosplay #dollcosplay #dollcostume #covidprojects https://www.instagram.com/p/CDudgkPArRK/?igshid=k7ca6ws1bgmu
Cats: āWhat are you working on? Can I sit on it? HAHAHA JK of course I can.ā #mchonne #toothless #catsofinstagram #blackcatsofinstagram #tabbycatsofinstagram #sewingcatsofinstagram #orinthiscase #hotgluingcataofinstagram #notarealhashtag #nothelping https://www.instagram.com/p/CC7y1IegARc/?igshid=vyrb267ot8jz
I realized that I never posted pictures of the original Sailor Bears to this account. I did a few of each of the Inner Senshi originally, and all but one Jupiter have been sold, either at the @animecentralofficial Artistsā Alley or through my Etsy shop, HandyWithANeedle. If anyone recognizes either of those cute Sailor Jupiter cosplayers, please let me know so that I can credit them and make sure they are okay with me sharing their pictures. šš #sailormoon #sailormooncosplay #cosplay #dollcosplay #teddybearcosplay #dollcostume #teddybearcostume #sailorbears #sailormercury #sailormars #sailorjupiter #sailorvenus #buildabear #throwback #artistsalley #studiolobsterball https://www.instagram.com/p/CCzErI_gx2M/?igshid=k2d2691omnok
Why, if it isnāt the Return of the Sailor Bears! My first ever anime-style Sailor Moon Bear. Iāll do some properly modeled photos later with her partner. #buildabear #teddybearcostume #teddybearcostumes #teddybear #dollcostume #dollcostumes #sailormoon #sailormooncosplay #sailorbears #sailorsenshi #currentproject #wip #commission https://www.instagram.com/p/CCuTx1EA-nJ/?igshid=its7ef33yw4m
Thank you so much @geekregeneration and @xann1891 for the bonus cosplay photos from the #Bagmiliars shoot! This is my Professor Sybill Trelawney cosplay that I originally put together before the movies even came out, so itās strictly based on the description in the books. Apparently sheās learning to make nice with the Grim? #harrypotter #harrypottercosplay #sybilltrelawney #sybilltrelawneycosplay #professortrelawney #divination #thegrim #padfoot #cosplay #costume #costumes https://www.instagram.com/p/CAbFkHIgyLk/?igshid=9ibs20bjwxa2
Thank you so much @geekregeneration and @xann1891 for the bonus cosplay photos from the #Bagmiliars shoot! Letās go, Buckbeak, we have criminals to apprehend! (If only you were big enough to rideā¦) #harrypotter #harrypottercosplay #aurorameliabones #hufflepuff #hufflepuffcosplay #periodcosplay #closetcosplay #costume #costumes https://www.instagram.com/p/CAWMBoLAMnq/?igshid=i8je0ffqmsld
Another memory of ACens Past, our Magic Knight Rayearth group from 2006. Sharing older cosplays, I have to cringe - we didnāt know where to get good wigs, and we didnāt have nearly as nice cameras as we all have on our phones now. But I was and still am proud of how the costumes looked, wigs notwithstanding. (And actually, I liked the *style* on my wig, if only it hadnāt been fluorescent!) Hikaru and Eagle were the ones I made, and Ferrio was a night-before team effort. š„š¦šØ Love to my friend @beatlejessie, our lovely Emeraude. This was the first group cosplay she joined us for, and she did such a beautiful job! Actually I think she was the only one with a nice-looking wig. Miss you, Jessie. š„š¦šØ #cosplay #cosplayersofinstagram #magicknightrayearth #rayearth #rayearthcosplay #magicknightrayearthcosplay #shidouhikaru #shidouhikarucosplay #artbookcosplay #costume #throwback #animecentral #acen (at Anime Central) https://www.instagram.com/p/CATp0MHgnns/?igshid=1mkkxh6hzb7ks
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