Live Life Freely

Yes, I'm naturally this weird

[gameandwatch-deactivated2013043]

challenge: name an object no human has attempted to use sexually

[killeveryman-deactivated2013090]

ur penis

[ejacutastic]

[feluka]

some words you can only spell on autopilot. once you stop to think about it you've already lost the fight

[anxeious]

[plaguedocboi]

We need to go back to using sailing ships full time like immediately. Yes it would take longer to get places but the Aesthetic is unmatched

Like there is nothing sexier hthan this

[theboboshow]

Can’t wait for OP to get scurvy

[plaguedocboi]

Are you under the impression that the ships themselves are what caused scurvy

[plaguedocboi]

Once again. Do you think this is the fault of the ships themselves

[legsloveless]

[girl-dot-tzt-deactivated2026042]

Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter

[amygdalae]

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

[destinationtoast]

dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :

[halfbloodfanboy]

[caats]

[ottisbuns]

Post that also work from the perspective of the cat.

[jimmyjrsmusoems]

earlier my husband opened our snack cabinet and something fell out and he put it back and then a second later i heard him say very quietly “no, it chose me” and then he took it and walked away

[teaboot]

We never really talked about it but The Ugly Ducking that grew up to be a beautiful swan was still probably pretty fugly from a duck’s perspective

[teaboot]

Like that story isn’t about an ugly duckling that grew up sexy, it’s a fucking swan was judged as a duck and hated itself as a duck until it found out it wasn’t a duck and stopped trying to be a duck.

The actual ducks in the neighborhood were probably still looking around at perfectly normal swans like “damn, look at those busted ass ducks”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is pretty important, actually. The good ending is finding the other swans, not tearing yourself to pieces trying to impress the ducks.

[halondrus]

Top reasons for there to be a kneeling knight emoji

- Defending women online

- Offering women support when they are in distress

- Commenting on a woman's selfie

- Offering to kill people bothering your online friend

- Sexual reasons

[animentality]

[artofshinga]

Neve how could you

[sissiarte]

Turning him into a sticker for a local con

UPDATE! you can get him here

Thank you so much for the interest <3

[charlesoberonn]

The world is lucky I have too much of a conscience to become a multi-millionaire cult leader. Because I totally could if I wanted to.

[charlesoberonn]

On an unrelated note: Anybody wanna come to my 3-day wellness seminar to learn about self-improvement techniques and the secret truths of the universe?

[hugtheteadrinkthekitten]

That depends, is it a cult?

[charlesoberonn]

I just said I wouldn’t be a cult-leader.

You need to trust my words implicitly and ignore all of your doubts.

[shencomix]

[creekfiend]

I love how in disney cartoons when a prince is like "father I have met a mysterious forest woman and she is the love of my life and I cannot possibly marry who you wish me to" the king is always like "No!!!!! you can't fall in love with a forest woman!!!!!! you must marry a princess!!!!!" instead of what a king would have said in real life, which is "why are you telling me about the forest woman. this has no impact whatsoever on your marriage to the princess. we all have a forest woman. it's 1183 and we're barbarians"

[alexaloraetheris]

Depending on the area and timeframe, the answer could have been 'Not before the princess! You can take her as a concubine/official mistress only AFTER the alliance-affirming wedding, not before! And then hope they get along well.'

[popsunner]

I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you

[popsunner]

Don’t do this to me

[professional-chaotic-dumbass]

my brother in christ you made the post

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]