war is heck

sup. i follow from @corviiids

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[somecunttookmyurl]

one of my favourite things about my boyfriend is that he's 6'4 but convinced he is a normal sized person and this does not constitute "tall"

once, if not twice, a week the card game shop he plays digimon at upload a top-4 photo best described as "gandalf and the hobbits" and every time he is genuinely baffled as to why he looks like that

[somecunttookmyurl]

told him i made this post and he's still insistent that he isn't tall

bf: i'm not tall! i feel like everyone i see is around the same height as me. like people in the street

me: they aren't

bf: but i can see their faces! if i'm looking at their faces they must be the same height

me: you're looking down slightly babe

bf: why would i do that

me: because you're tall

[somecunttookmyurl]

incidentally the fact i am 5'5 also comes as a shock to him at least once a day and then he inevitably asks if i'm "normally that short"

[somecunttookmyurl]

if you lean in real close you can hear his singular brain cell bouncing around like a windows screensaver

[roskapanda]

Has your boyfriend got his eyesight checked? Bc when I don’t wear my glasses I’m nice and close to the ground but when I do it’s HOLY SHIT WHY AM I THIS TALL, I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS, HELP ME time and it’s genuinelly terrifying.

[somecunttookmyurl]

he wears glasses he's just dumb

[somecunttookmyurl]

update to this post from yesterday:

bf: apparently only 7% of people are over 6' tall me: yes........? bf: that isn't very many. am i tall? me: i cannot believe we are having this discussion again. yes. you are tall. you are still tall. you were tall yesterday. you will be tall tomorrow bf: oh my god i'm tall aren't i me: my love the netherlands is the tallest country in the world and even there average male height is 6' 0.5". you are tall by "kingdom of giants" standards, even. but we live on "shortarse island", so... bf: AM i tall though me: you are 6ft 4

[somecunttookmyurl]

he is he's very pretty

[teacupsandtimelords]

Can he make spinach puffs? Asking for irrelevant reasons....

[somecunttookmyurl]

having watched emperors new groove (it's my favourite) he does understand this reference but also he really loves cooking so you saying this has now prompted him to look up how to make spinach puffs

which is to say that yes, he is kronk

[somecunttookmyurl]

fun fact they're both the same person. same 6'4 boyfriend referred to himself as a short king because he thought it meant a man who really likes wearing shorts

[cipheramnesia]

Large dog energy

[anasabdin]

間

[pocketsizedpanther]

He can't keep getting away with this 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[gothgleek]

I just love the way his brain works- if anyone ever says fashion isn’t that deep, introduce them to Wisdom Kaye.

[gothgleek]

Actually since I know tumblr hates videos, here’s his explanations (click to enlarge)

[gothgleek]

[gothgleek]

A note from Wisdom Kaye:

[whencircuitsshort]

why do people need to be domesticated animals for petplay,. u r my lion i bought you illegallu and you are trying to kill me. go

[jacobtheloofah]

Visit Original Link

side note, teaching myself to pronounce that last one felt like learning a new fucking language

[jacobtheloofah]

hey so uh next year will be a decade of dobonhonkeros. how about that shit huh.

[garaks-padded-cell]

americans be like dude learning to drive isnt that bad but they dont know youre in ireland sharing a lane with a horse who is a bad person. And the horse and the instructor are friends and he keeps dapping the horse up through the window. And the horse called you a bitch under his breath so quiet the driving instructor is trying to convince you that you must have misheard him but you didnt. and theres a roundabout coming up and the horse didnt indicate

[scribefindegil]

Elvish culture is just the “… I could make that” impulse taken to Extremes

[scribefindegil]

There’s a story told to children called The Elf Who Wanted A Cloak about how in order to accomplish this simple thing the elf needed to gather his own fiber and harvest the plants to dye it and then construct a set of weaver’s tools so he could spin it and a loom to make the cloth, and then hunt an animal so he had bone to shape into a clasp, and by the time he’s finished it’s summer and it’s too warm outside to need the cloak at all.

Elves tell it to their children as a cautionary tale about the importance of planning ahead and ensuring you’ve worked out all the steps in your project. Other races tell it to their children as a cautionary tale about elves.

[cuarthol]

The Avari tell it to their children as a cautionary tale about the Eldar trying to do everything on their own/being selfish about the works their hands instead of being part of a community that all works together with everyone doing their part to support the whole. 

[admirablemonster]

the gwaith í mírdain tell it with the finale of “hot damn that elf learned a lot about cloakmaking and then was able to tell all his friends so when winter came round again they were all prepared and very excited to apply what they’d learned”

[foxindarkness]

when you have that kind of time, you can go beyond “I need a cloak, better find me a sheep.” you can *breed* a line of sheep with the perfect wool. you can absolutely start by making your tools; why wouldn’t you, they should be perfectly fitted to your hands and your way of working? if you mine and cut your own gems, you can have the one perfectly suited for the necklace you’re crafting. grind your own pigments. grow the ideal flax to weave the canvas for your painting. you have control of the entire process. no settling for lackluster materials. this is not a cautionary tale. this is the dream.

[trans-noldor]

you’re an elf

[admirablemonster]

by this logic, all elves are scientists and vice versa

which i mean…given the noldor, maybe not that far off

[kevytmaitohorsma]

Reblog this photo of a käpylehmä to have a käpylehmä in your blog

It's a trick! If you reblog you get TWO käpylehmäs in your blog!

[worldbuilding-tomfoolery]

[papermaple]

@bovineblogger do these cows count?

[pmamtraveller]

"Everything Appears as it is: Infinite" by Alex Dodge

[luntfontanne]

via The Spencer Museum of Art at the University of Kansas:

Material/technique: brail texture; six-color UV screen print Dimensions (Height x Width): 512 x 815 mm / 20 3/16 x 32 1/16 in Artist Alex Dodge made this print with a computer program that builds virtual spaces. The artist wanted to point out the contrast between the geometric human-made tiles and the wavy organic shapes made by the water. The geometric shapes (tiles) were formed by using angle measurements. The organic shapes (waves) were made by taking photographs of waves. Dodge used the computer program to blend the shapes together.

[nyanletnest]

bwaow

[littleguysdaily]

Yeah

[throo]

Google’s removal of its search function is going great btw

[power-handmaiden]

when I was in high school I had a literature teacher who had a policy of unlimited extra credit. All you had to do was read a book by a notable author (his discretion) and have a little chat with him after school to prove that you read it. No limits, no need for variety (one month I decided I really loved Kurt Vonnegut and just read everything of his I could get my hands on).

Yes, I was tearing through books constantly, and talking to this teacher at least weekly. Because even though I always loved reading as a kid, literature was always a very weak subject for me in terms of a teaching-to-standardized-test school setting (I just do awful on "what color were the curtains" type multiple choice questions. Those details don't stick in my memory THEY JUST DON'T). But that didn't matter for this class. I could just read my way out of any bad test score. I have always had fond memories of how I "fudged" my way through that class and "abused' the extra credit policy.

I was thinking about it again today, and only just now realized that he absolutely tricked me into being well-read, while my teenage self thought I was totally getting away with something. THAT MOTHERFUCKER. I hope he's doing well.

[deadeyesopened]

[catcrumb]

[sans-guy-deactivated20251217]

hey guys i'm going to the store can u make sure nothing happens to my chocolate milk

[sans-guy-deactivated20251217]

[elisecairo]

[katherynefromphilly]

As someone who was alive when Bob Ross (and William Alexander before him — that’s where the approach is from) was on PBS, I can 100% testify that you can paint along with him.

You may need to learn how to set up your paints and such… but this is what people did, live, while the show aired. That’s what the show was for. I had family members create lovely works of art they enjoyed, which I still have on my walls, because William Alexander and Bob Ross both said:

SCREW METICULOUS CLASSICAL ART PRACTICES — JUST GRAB A PALETTE KNIFE AND BIG OLD BRUSH AND PAINT!

They freed a whole generation of people who were taught to paint detail and realism and exact representation of reality — people who largely gave up this kind of thing because it got tedious.

I watched the joy of family members as they rediscovered art as a messy fun spontaneous half hour activity.

Give it a try.