The First Day of the Rest of My Life

[lord-kitschener]

[bintilleil-deactivated20200510]

[ruby-white-rabbit]

There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs

This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose

I’m not ready to be a single mom

I know shit about reptiles

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth

Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?

[ruby-white-rabbit]

70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??

[timesalad]

You a mom now

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”

I’m gonna fistfight nature

[ruby-white-rabbit]

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow

I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??

[mrswinterbarnes]

I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out

YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA

[ruby-white-rabbit]

DAMN IT SHARRON

First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this

Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??

[ruby-white-rabbit]

UPDATE

SHES BACK

[ruby-white-rabbit]

NEVERMIND

ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE

That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me

[odinspattern]

Call this one Susan

[smalltall]

You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit

[allamericansbitch]

Bo Burnham on New Movie Eighth Grade 

[thelostknee-deactivated20210422]

@fishfingersandscarves AJDFHFSHDHFALKSDFJAKSDJ

[lacependragon]

@fishpunsarefintastic

[hannahforthewin]

When the rain washes you clean, you'll know #rihannon #chicago (at The Rookery)

[stream]

Hannah Gadsby: Nanette (2018)

[nprfreshair]

‘Won’t You Be My Neighbor?’ And ‘Nanette’ Brim With Heart And Humanity

Morgan Neville’s moving documentary about Fred Rogers and Netflix’s stand-up special starring Australian comic Hannah Gadsby both refuse to play along with established genre conventions.

[npr]

Have you watched Nanette? -Emily

[theweirdwideweb]

[fox-mulder-fbi]

this is the whitest thing ive ever heard but i see her point

[deathclavv-deactivated20180803]

the beast: i’m gonna be cursed forever….. for who could ever learn to love a beast? :(

belle, local furry:

[screamingfrenchfries]

this post is my life wow

[hannahforthewin]

#chicago #homesweethome (at Chicago, Illinois)

[luntfontanne]

#CINEMATIC PARALLELS

[bintilleil-deactivated20200510]

Tessa Thompson, at every given opportunity:

STRAP

[parakeet]

by calling yourself valid youre invalidating others. fuck off.

FJKJDLKFJ:LKDSFLKAJDFKLAJDFLKJLKDF

[parakeet]

only one person can be valid at at time it turns out. validity is passed around like the olympic torch

[striikee]

Mom said its my turn on the valid

[great-neckpectations]

Winston Duke often wears a combination of a colored suit with a black print dress shirt and I love it. Like he dresses so well and takes risks that are fashionable.

[miscreant-side-puffs]

Good post OP good post

[gaylor-moon]

This is the FUCK TRUMP fairy god mother, ,,good luck and tidings will come to you but only if you comment FUCK TRUMP

[sunshineoptimismandangels]

Okay but you’re missing this best part! This is the Texas woman, Karen Fonseca, who was threatened by the local Sheriff, Troy Nehls, that she could be arrested for this bumper sticker. She responded with a bumper sticker that read, “Fuck  Sheriff Troy Nehls and Fuck you for voting for him”. Meanwhile, the “Fuck Trump” sticker sales in the county where she lives have sky rocketed.  Please just read the whole story.   x 

[norabelrose]

I’m going to say something super controversial here: billionaires shouldn’t exist

[ziggyplayedd]

i used to think billionaires were like. slightly richer millionaires but for reference: a million seconds is 12 days, a billion seconds is THIRTY TWO YEARS.

no one can convince me that it’s possible to possess a billion dollars, much less dozens of billions of dollars, and not be a disgusting terrible shitty unethical heartless human being

[hannahforthewin]

Make new friends, but keep the old #chicago (at The Berghoff Restaurant)

[beepbeepbeepbeep-deactivated202]

Everything is terrible, which means it’s so important to vote in your states’s midterm elections. Turbovote.org is one super fast and simple way to register if you’re not already registered. 🇺🇸

[chubachus]

Portrait of a group of Pima Native Americans on a reservation in Arizona Territory, c. 1870. By Carlo Gentile.

Source: Library of Congress.

[jessirose02-blog]

I present to you, Bucky Barnes wearing a Hitler t shirt.

[petropascal]

[birdsy-purplefishes]

That’s the best use of this reaction image I think I’ll ever see.