ok but like real talk tho, i completely agree that ryan reynolds is better as deadpool than as hal jordan but that one line in that movie when carol is like âof course i know itâs you hal, iâve seen you naked, do you really think i wouldnât recognize you if i canât see your cheekbonesâ is super iconic???Â
a/n: I love stephcass. Theyâre so good and pure. Read under the cut or on Ao3!Â
Cassandra is competitive. Thatâs something that many people donât know about her; sheâs generally the most laid back of the entire Wayne clan, but that girl takes competition seriously. Steph reckons that it has something to do with her training; good old David Cain wanted his little girl to be the perfect weapon, so Cass grew up striving for perfection. Thereâs nothing wrong with that, except for her dear old dadâs tactics.
Stephanie and Cass have had their fair share of competitions; friendly games of rooftop tag (taken seriously sometimes more than others), the ever-popular âwho can knock out the most perps the most quickly,â and of course, âwho solved the most cases this month?â
The problem is, Cass always wins. Steph isnât that competitive â well, okay, she totally is, but her competitiveness isnât even in the same realm as Cassâs. Steph has been trying to best Cass at something for years, but to no avail. The fact that she can use a stove without accidentally burning down her house is a good consolation prize; Cass loves to try new things, and even though Steph isnât the best cook in the world, she likes trying new recipes and sheâs secretly smug that she can do one measly thing better than Cass. Tim occasionally participates in trying Stephanieâs concoctions, but not often â he learned to avoid Stephâs cooking when they were like⌠15.
Cass didnât grow up on fancy food. David Cainâs meals were meant for efficiency and energy, they werenât exactly âhigh cultureâ by any means. Thatâs probably why Cass happily eats anything that Steph puts in front of her.
âThatâs not the only reason,â Cass says one night while theyâre curled up together on the couch and watching a rerun of some shitty action movie, âitâs special if you made it.â
Stephâs heart grows the proverbial three sizes just from hearing that.
Cass might be a lady of few words, but as far as Stephanie is concerned, she always knows just what to say.
a/n: I love Kate and Renee so much. They do my lesbian heart so much good. Read under the cut or on Ao3!Â
Leaning against the door, Renee felt the pack of cigarettes in her pocket and played with the urge to smoke one. Since Charlie died, she had given the habit up, but she still carried a pack with her. You never knew when you needed info, and one of the quickest ways to warm a street girl up to you was to offer her a cigarette, so Renee had kept them.
Sheâd followed some advice about human trafficking from a girl and ended up at this shitty nightclub that was obviously a front for the Penguin; the ice sculptures, playboy bunny looking girls in kinky tuxedos, and actual penguins kind of gave that away. For a fleeting moment, Renee considered that she might just be a jaded Gotham native until she saw Oswald himself walking across the club to a table of incredibly drunk women.
Waiting until the place closed for the night, she snuck into the building â obviously in her costume, because the Question was a bit more useful than former detective Renee Montoya was in this situation.
Sneaking through the halls seemed like a great idea because the Question was excellent at sneaking. Of course, the Question also preferred to work alone, but seeing Batwoman already there made her just grin. Not that anyone could tell.
âHey, partner,â she whispered to the red-haired bombshell.
âHey, yourself,â Batwoman answered, âyou ready to get to the bottom of whatever this dirtbag is up to?â
âOnly if youâre up for a team up,â the Question replied. She knew the answer before sheâd even asked the question, and Batwomanâs knowing smirk was just the cherry on top of the proverbial sundae.
Title: Cult Meetings in Cemeteries are Never Good News
Characters: Ted Kord (Blue Beetle II) and Michael Jon Carter (Booster Gold)
Pairings: none, but can be read as boostle.Â
Wordcount: 686
a/n: I really love these two. I feel like, even though they get into all kinds of shenanigans, they actually make a really good team. Read under the cut or on Ao3!Â
âWhy are we here, again?â Booster leaned closer to Ted as he whispered, as if they werenât the only ones in the cemetery right now.
âWeâre doing research for a case, Booster. And what are you so afraid of? It isnât like you havenât seen dead people before in various states of decay!â
âI know, but thereâs something incredibly freaky about cemeteries! Seriously, I feel like a million people are staring at me. You know how, in school, youâre on stage doing one of those shitty musical things and you can just feel everyone in the auditorium watching you and waiting for you to mess up? I was fat as a kid, Ted! I fell on my ass on stage so many times!â
âOkay, now youâre just being ridiculous,â Ted sighed, his attention being drawn to a gargoyle that he could have sworn wasnât a few gravestones away just a minute ago.
âHey, has that always been there?â Ted pointed to the gargoyle and scrunched up his face. Booster turned to look at it and gave it a sour look.
âProbably. You know that the people who built Gotham had a serious gargoyle fetish. They were even here when I grew up. Like, sure, we have flying cars and shit, but has anyone thought to get rid of the gargoyles? No way, theyâre historicalââIt just moved! I swear, it just moved!â âNow youâre being the ridiculous one, Beetle. That thing might be creepy, but itâs just getting to you. Too much Doctor Who?â
Ted shut up. He was definitely pouting now, so they continued walking through the marshy place in the dark. It hadnât been well cared for in years; the too-long grass, headstones that were fallen over or about to with the names faded out due to the acid rain. It was sad, really, knowing that the people buried there had lives and probably people had loved them, only to be forgotten. The thought of it made Boosterâs throat tighten.
It was true, though, that they were there doing an investigation. According to some Intel, there was a cult that met in this cemetery on rainy nights with full moons. The whole thing was clichĂŠd, really. It was probably just a bunch of punk kids drinking and smoking weed and playing with Ouija boards, but one of Batmanâs contacts said that the group were trying to summon something. Something really, really bad. Naturally, they had sent Booster and Beetle. It seemed more like a police matter, but the fact that anyone had been sent at all just proved that the Bat thought that the lead could turn up something serious; he even warned the two of them to use caution when investigating.
âHey, Beetle, look,â Booster whispered just loud enough for Ted to hear him, and pointed a few paces ahead and to the right â a faint, glowing red light was up ahead behind some trees. They moved closer carefully, trying to avoid tripping or making noise which was harder than it seemed, considering all of the broken stones and tree limbs and fallen leaves piled everywhere.
Sure enough, there were a bunch of figures in robes around a pentagram, speaking in some long-dead language and chanting over eviscerated corpses. Organs were even piled up for a nice, horror-movie effect. Fighting the urge to lose his lunch, Booster pointed at the scene from his cover behind a crumbling mausoleum. Ted nodded, looking similarly disgusted by the scene.
Luckily, these idiots didnât really seem to know what they were doing, and they hadnât completed their summoning ritual yet.
âZatanna and Constantine should both be relieved that they would never have to deal with that mess,â Ted commented, throwing his gloves into a biohazard chute in the bug. He wasnât taking any chances with all the blood and gore that they had encountered while fighting that cult; especially considering how fresh those corpses were.
âWhy do we always get the shitty missions?â Booster was pouting now, as if he was already completely over the entire situation.
Ted shook his head. Booster could bounce back from anything.
a/n: okay, so this just kind of spilled out of my hands one day. Itâs about Batman witnessing a crime he couldnât prevent and the outcome for one of the people involved.Â
WARNINGS INCLUDE: death, hinted rape, drug use, non consensual/dubiously consensual prostitution
Read under the cut or on Ao3!
Her mouth tasted bitter. She sat on her bed, the body of her girlfriend next to her. She hadnât done it, of course â no, sheâd never hurt Alice. Her eyes stung and she remembered what sheâd heard about not disturbing the crimescene. Itâs not like it mattered what happened to her now, anywayâAlice was gone, and theyâd always fought something fierce. It was just their personalities; they hated each other just as painfully as theyâd loved. The neighbors knew theyâd fought all the time, sheâd be the prime suspect. They wanted to get married and move out of Gotham. Theyâd talked about it just yesterday; Aliceâs mother never approved of their relationship, and Keishaâs job was transferring her to Star City. It was perfect. They were going to leave behind their fighting, their shitty apartment, all of that â and start over fresh.
Of course, that would never happen now. Keisha took the gun from its place on the bed and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a thump; that thump betrayed how terrible the weapon really was and what it took away from her.
Keisha was determined to get rid of that awful thing; to punish it for what it did to her, as if it acted by its own volition and someone else hadnât pulled the trigger. Keisha shifted to get up, scrubbing at her eyes with blood-covered fingers, when lightning flashed outside and she saw his silhouette against the wall; the Batman. Heâd come to take her away, she was certain.
âYou canât hurt me anymore,â she laughed, staring at the silhouette. Her voice didnât sound like her own. âEverything that I ever cared about is dead now. I donât care what you do! Take me to jail, I donât care!â She stood up and turned around to face him, her inhibitions gone. She was high, now. High on the realization that none of this had any consequence anymore.
âYou didnât kill her,â he stated. He was impossibly tall and his voice was as dark and gravelly sounding as he looked. âIt doesnât fucking matter. I hope they give me the death penalty. I hope they kill me, because God knows I donât want to live without her,â Keisha answered, her strength was leaving her rapidly. She needed to sit down. âI already caught the perpetrator,â he continued, âI saw them in here, struggling. I wasnât fast enough. Iâm sorry.â He was. She could tell that he was, but that didnât bring back her Alice. âI donât fucking care,â she spat. He just stood there. âYou need to leave. The police need to collect⌠the forensic evidence,â it looked like he wanted to motion to Alice, poor, poor Alice and her splayed legs and her face that wasnât there anymore, but he didnât. Keisha was thankful that he didnât.
She left the apartment. Actually, she turned on her heels then and ran out, and kept running until she didnât know where she was, and she didnât care.
It was a month later until she saw him again. She had lost her job because she buried her grief under the strongest tequila she could get her hands on. She had lost her apartment because she didnât have a job, and started doing whatever she could to get money to buy anything to make her forget.
She was standing on the balcony of her most recent john, smoking a cigarette. Sheâd taken it up before Alice died, so it was the only vice she had left that she didnât feel guilty about.
âKeisha,â he said. âBatman,â she replied, levelly. She had nothing to say to him. He had nothing to say to her and she knew it, in the way that the soon-to-be-dead were wise. âIâm sorry about Alice.â And she knew that he was, just like the way that she knew he was sorry on the night that Alice died and he didnât save her. âIâm sorry, too,â she said.
He kept an eye on Keisha. He knew what was going to happen; she was going to kill herself slowly in the hopes that the pain she experienced was something like what happened to her girlfriend. There was nothing that he could do about that, but he felt responsible for her anyway. Aliceâs blood was on his hands, and Keishaâs would be, too. They were just more people that he couldnât save.
a/n: I fucking love Tim Drake. Read under the cut or on Ao3!Â
Waking up with a mouth that felt filled with cotton and a pounding headache wasnât unusual on a Saturday morning, especially now that he lived on his own. It wasnât that he regretted drinking with Kon and Bart, but their drunken escapades always seemed to get them in trouble. Well, okay, more like their drunken escapades always seemed to get Tim in trouble. The tattoo of a robin on his back was clichĂŠd, but at least it wasnât unexpected. This, however, was unavoidably noticeable.
Tim didnât remember what they did last night, but it must have been especially stupid if he had decided to get snakebites.
âI think they look cool!â Bart supplied unhelpfully. It had probably been Bartâs idea, all things considered.
âTheyâd look cool on you,â Tim sulked, running his tongue across the back of the piercing in his mouth. It hurt, like heâd slept on it wrong and pulled it weird.Â
âIâm in charge of a company. I canât waltz into work with these in! Do you know what people would say?â
âThat youâre a stupid and irresponsible kid? Holy shit, they might think youâre human. What a tragedy!â Kon thought the whole thing was hilarious, obviously. His chipper and sarcastic-as-usual attitude wasnât helping.
âWhat if Bruce sees. Oh, God, Bruce probably already knows.â Tim winced at the thought. He wouldnât be mad, heâd be disappointed. Thatâs worse â it meant a lecture about responsibility.
Staring in the mirror, Tim poked the metal studs unhappily. He could always take them out. Thatâs all that could be done at this point. He took a deep breath, knowing that it would hurt to remove them. Sure, heâd dealt with much, much worse, but he tried to avoid pain where he could. He closed his eyes, exhaled, andâŚ
Huh. Bart was right, they did kinda look cool.
âI wonder what Stephanie and Cass are gonna think when they see themâŚâ At least it would keep the tabloids interested in something other than his love life, for once.
Characters: Ted Kord (Blue Beetle II) and Michael Jon Carter (Booster Gold)
Pairings: It can be read as gen or boostle!Â
Wordcount: 143
a/n: Give me middle aged superheroes or give me death. Read under the cut or on Ao3!Â
The urge to interrupt Booster before he had finished was overwhelming, but somehow Ted managed to bite his tongue until the blonde was done pitching his latest ridiculous money-making scheme.
âOkay, Iâm not even joking, that was the stupidest thing Iâve ever heard in my entire life. No joke-âCome on, Ted! Itâs totally going to work. Iâm great at plans like this, and you usually are all for it! What happened to your spirit? Did your thirty-ninth birthday last week really hit you that hard?â
The Blue Beetle rolled his eyes. âOf course not, Iâm still as spry as always. Despite the heart condition and allâyou know what? Shut up. I bet youâre like, at least forty by now. Did you ever do the math? Letâs do the math-âTed, put the calculator down! Iâm sorry I ever mentioned your age!â
a/n: More harley/ivy because everyone needs more harley/ivy in their life! Read under the cut or on Ao3!Â
âPam, whereâd you put the remote? Sleepy Hollowâs on and I donât want to miss it again!â
It wasnât the first time that Poison Ivy had been disturbed from a nap today. Her girlfriend, amazing as she was, could sometimes be a huge pain in the ass. As she sat up from her bed, the offending blonde peeked into their room.
âPaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!!! Seriously, I think that Ichabod and Abbie are gonna kiss this time!!â
âI heard you the first time, Harley. You were the last one to have it, I have no idea where it is,â âBut! But, seriously, I donât want to miss this.â
Resigned to the fact that sheâd probably never get back to sleep now, Pamela sat up and stretched. The satisfying crack of her spine was basically as refreshed as she was going to be until they found the damn remote.
a/n: This is really old, and I put it up on my Ao3 months ago and neglected to put it here. Read it under the cut or on Ao3!Â
Pam was an interesting lady, and that was for sure. She was guarded, but obvious â and they were friends, so Harley tried to keep her psychological profiling to a minimum, but she just couldnât help it some days.
In any case, it was Pamâs birthday. What did the lady like? Well, plants, but that would be too obvious. What else? Lesbian romance novels, antique teapots, being perched in the window like a cat, space heaters on cold daysâŚ
Harley wasnât coming up with anything very helpful. She called Selina, but then she remembered that the cat-loving woman was out with Bruce Wayne today. How the heck did Selina land a boring card like Brucie Wayne? Oh, well. He wasnât really Harleyâs type, anyway.
Distractions, distractions! Harley couldnât help it, though. âWhat does Poison Ivy want for her birthday?â wasnât really something she could type into google. Well, she could, but it would be fruitless. She could always kidnap Hush and bring him in, but that sounded like a bad idea. A fun idea, sure, but today was less about bloodshed and more about serious matters. Harley doubted that Ivy would want to see an asshole like that on her birthday, anyway.
What was something that Pam didnât have? What was something new and unique that would make her birthday memorable?
The metaphorical lightbulb lit up in Harleyâs mind. Of course!
âHey, Pam!â hearing her name, the red-haired woman looked up from the book that she was reading. In her doorway was Harley, smiling as bright as the day was long.
âWhat do you need, Harley?â she asked, anxious to get back to her book. It was just getting to the good part, too!
âHappy Birthday!!â the blonde announced before planting a kiss squarely on Ivyâs lips.
what are some songs that remind you of the batfam?
Thank you for the question! I really love the batfam (Iâm sure thatâs probably pretty obvious) and Iâm emo trash so most of the music I relate to them reflects that⌠i could literally write an individual post on each of them but hereâs a quick n easy rundown:Â
Dick: Bulleproof Heart by My Chemical Romance, I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness, Eros and Apollo by the Studio Killers!! also i think as far as his personal taste goes, he listens to a lot of 80â˛s because the 80â˛s were a dick grayson decade imho
Jason: oh mannn thereâs lots of songs I relate to Jason but Iâd say my faves are House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance, Bad Kids by Lady Gaga, Youâre Gonna Go Far, Kid by the Offspring, Save Yourself, Iâll Hold Them Back by MCR, and for some really weird reason, Jolene by Dolly Parton?? And I think he listens to a lot of like stuff from when he was young and I really read him as a 90â˛s kid so like⌠spice girls and *nsync⌠and 80â˛s because he and catherine listened to that together because she liked 80â˛sâŚ
Tim: honestly I really embrace the like 90â˛s Green Day and Blink 182 Tim like⌠that flavor of music⌠but also Fences by Paramore  and UGH! by the 1975 and I honestly donât know why??Â
Stephanie: Death Valley by Fall Out Boy is my main steph jam! also Victorious and Girls/Girls/Boys by Panic! At The Disco.Â
Cass: Who Are You, Really? by Mikky Ekko is my totally main Cass song. Sheâs super complicated and I havenât really figured her out yet tbh!! I love Cass though, my bbâŚoh and Woman by Wolfmother!!Â
Damian: Welcome to the Black Parade by MCR, and Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes.Â
I donât have any for Barbara or Bruce Iâm sorry :(( though as far as music tastes go, I feel like Bruce would really like 70â˛s music because heâs a Dad and my parents like 70â˛s and heâs probably nearabouts 50 at this point so it works I guess lolÂ
OKAY SO LIKE i know we talk about trans batfam which is good and pure in all ways but like can we talk about TRANS ALFRED??? like he lives with thomas and martha and thomas is a doctor so its cool if he needs t because he doesnât have to deal with all the bullshit and stuff :â))) thomas is like âoh ok hereâs your shot for the month!â and alfred is accepted and loved and valued by the waynes
and like imagine like alfred helping bb bruce or a bb robin bind properly like âmaster timothy you could hurt yourself, until your binder comes in the post let me show you a safer way to bindâ likeÂ
a/n:Â I found a flashdrive earlier today that had a lot of old fic in it. Some of those are absolutely terrible, but I liked this well enough to post it.Â
Read under the cut or on Ao3!Â
It⌠it really wasnât any of Stephâs business. And she knew that. She knew that what she was doing was a complete, total, and utter disrespect and disregard to her boyfriendâs privacy, but she found herself not caring.
Being around Batman for a few years could do that to you, really.
When sheâd been âinvestigatingâ Timâs ancient metal file cabinet and found the manila folder marked simply, âNO.â in big, red ink across the front⌠it was just too good to pass up.
Steph sat herself down at one of his many antique wooden desks that smelled like lemon wood cleaner and opened up the folder that was offending her curiosity.
This is not what she expected to find.
It was a picture of Tim (sheâd know that jerk anywhere) in a uniform that looked like the lovechild of his Red Robin uniform and Dickâs blue Nightwing outfit⌠mostly because of the fingerstripes.
Hot fucking damn, those fingerstripes.
Upon closer inspection, the file had something to do with Unternet? Tim had talked about this before. His friends Lonnie and Tam had accompanied him in here.
Taking out her phone to snap a picture of her decidedly favorite costume of Timâs (just in case heâd ever decide to get rid of the original), Steph decided that sheâd suggest the addition of fingerstripes to his current Red Robin uniform.
Because, you know, they seem practical. And theyâd probably throw off a lot of villains with their sexiness, and that is totally a great advantage to have.
a/n:Â There's an offhand comment in Booster Gold Vol. 2 (somewhere around issue 35 and the comment was made by Skeets, I think) about Booster having to have his morning coffee at Sundollar (aka Starbucks) and I though it was hilarious, so I wrote this a while ago -- I just haven't been sleep-deprived enough to post it until now.This is super self-indulgent, and before you ask -- my name isn't Miranda and I don't work at Starbucks. I do daydream constantly about kissing Booster Gold, though.Â
Read under the cut or on Ao3!Â
Every morning, he would come in and get coffee.
It wasnât too complex of an order, especially not to Miranda -- she was the best assistant manager that Sundollar ever had, not that anyone ever noticed. There was one of those on every single streetcorner in every city in the USA.
Anyway, Miranda saw him every day. He had teeth that looked like the sun and, in turn, a smile that melted her ice-cold heart as she handed him his cappuccino. She barely noticed the stupid blue-and-gold getup after the third week.
He never asked for her name, but that was fine. It was on her name tag, after all. She figured that maybe someday heâd ask her out. Every morning she worked, sheâd look forward to her shift just to see the smile of that Golden Boy.
What was his super-hero name again? Booster Gold? Yeah, that was it.
No wonder he had such a bright smile, with a name like that.
âGood morning,â he said as always. She smiled back at him.
âDo you want the usual?â
âYeah, thanks.â
Damn it, Miranda. You should say something nice to him.
âUh⌠I like your⌠goggles.â
Miranda, you fucking idiot.
He blinked twice. âThanks?â
She finally handed him the coffee with a shaky smile.
The guy in line behind him looked vaguely amused on her behalf. She sighed. It was going to be a long shift.
It was 4:30pm by the time that he came in, on this particular day. The only reason she was still there was because one of the other girls was stuck in traffic and would be late, and Miranda didnât have anything better to do.
It was a slow shift, anyway. Something about an alien monster? Since moving to the city, she got used to it.
Booster Gold came in with a broken nose and a black eye. The goggles he usually wore were around his neck and he looked like hell.
He (very calmly) gave her his order.
She (not very calmly) vaulted over the counter and grabbed his hand, pulling him into a door that said âEmployees Only.â
âDude, you need a fucking ambulance!â her eyebrows were furrowed in concern.
âJust sit here and Iâll get you an ice pack and call 911 or something, okay?â
âNo, no, Iâm fine! Seriously, donât call 911,â he grabbed her wrist. She stopped, and looked at his hand holding her wrist, and then at his face. He gave her a bloody smile.
She was pretty sure it hurt when she kissed him because he made a surprised and slightly high-pitched sound.
âJesus fuck, Iâve wanted to do this for so long,â she breathed against his lips and he looked confused and kind of surprised as she pulled away.
âReally?â
âDo you really think that I thought your goggles were that cool?â
Realization was easy to read on his features before she pulled him in for another kiss.
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