Shane is such a Protector and Provider. He’s the one who carries the suitcase. He’s the one with the sensible car for safety and comfort. He’s the one with the big house where they can go. He knows how & builds the campfire. He’s the one who buys the food and cooks the meals - even if he could’ve cut the recipe in half. Yes, he’s the world’s biggest bottom and he lovesss to get fucked, but he doesn’t fall into the stereotypes of bottom = feminine at all.
When you think about it, Shane being the Provider is a big part of his whole life. He’s the team Captain and provides the wins & $$$. His mother is his manager, and he’s her only client. His salary & brand deals are the income for both of them. His dad works for the govt. He’s the one footing the bill for that Chablis at the nice restaurant. He’s the one whose name gets them in and pays for things like a Wimbledon trip. He doesn’t resent it, but he does feel the weight of it. But not with Ilya.
Protecting and providing for Ilya is easy for Shane. It comes naturally. This is important for Ilya, who has been the Provider for his own family — which is exploited and abused repeatedly over many years. He feels like he’s always giving so much (bolshe bolshe bolshe) and not only is it thankless, it’s completely unreciprocated by anyone except Svetlana. No one provides anything for Ilya, emotional or material, and CERTAINLY no one protects him.
It makes you wonder about how vulnerable Ilya was when he was younger & unprotected. When his mother died and he was persuaded to lie by the person who was hardest on her, who was also the hardest on him. When he was acting out, engaging in risky sex and looking for trouble. When that didn’t get him the attention or care that he sought. When his own brother hated him, and he knew why. When he was never good enough, always “lazy,” not winning when he was supposed to even though he won a LOT.
Ilya was still the Provider, even then. He still looked out for his father who he could tell was ailing. He still gave his brother money. He still set aside a trust for his niece. No one was providing anything for him in return. So is it any wonder when Mr Hey Heyyy Will You Come to my Cottage offers him ANY solace, even a SHRED of comfort, Ilya is putty in his hands? “Are you hungry? The drive is 2 hrs” “How are your ribs?” Of course, Shane is actually offering a LOT of comfort & security.
“Here,” Shane offers easily. “Here is a place where you can be safe. Where you can be vulnerable. Where you can be fully held for the first time since you were 12. You can be honest about what you’re thinking & feeling. You can be warm by this fire. I’ll protect you from that noise that scared you. You don’t need to be scared. I’ll rub your shoulder & pet your hair & hold your hand while you tell me about the worst thing that ever happened to you.
I’ll sit over you and watch out. You don’t need to spend money. You don’t need to look for trouble to get my attention. You have it. I want this with you. I’ll make a plan for the future so you can be safe & secure. I’ll kiss you even when you’re cold from the lake. What food do you want for lunch?” It leaves room for Ilya to protect and provide back on his own terms, to fulfill what his sweetheart needs - but that’s the subject of a different emotional post.
jacobvanloon
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