He’s a criminal. He’s a telepath. His legs break so often that he has a catchphrase about it. He was indoctrinated into a cult when he was seven. He’s had sex with almost all of his friends. He’s a performer with stage fright. He was haunted by a talking toilet. He asks random women if they’re single cause it’s funny. He thinks he’s better off alone. He’s terrified of being alone. He believes he’s a vampire on a regular basis. He’s based on a cereal mascot. I didn’t say his name but he popped into your head didn’t he




















