Bad Intentions @hardlyggolden - Tumblr Blog

“Castiel Edlund is a rational, knowledge-driven man. All he knows is his world of scholars; higher education and the fast track to success. An opportunity to work on something secret changes his whole life-it introduces him to Dean Winchester. Castiel learns that sometimes you have to go back to move forward….back fifty years, that is.” My Destiel fic is now up to eleven chapters! Click the link to read and leave me some feedback :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959986/chapters/34668249

sarah-the-ninja

Rejoice, “let’s fake a relationship for Christmas” fanfic season is upon us.

dealanexmachina

Don’t forget “snowed in and have to share a bed” season.

simplyshelbs16xoxo

YASSSS

catiemolly

“Oops, guess we got caught under the mistletoe together” season as well

jaredandjensen

I remember this! It’s Fourth of July, 1996.

cyborgsmanifesto

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

4velitta4

I feel like this could be useful in my future

astrologypixies-deactivated2016

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

sciencescribbler

THIS IS SUCH A USEFUL LIST OMFG

debrides

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

lesbirdan

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

hermionegranger

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

thomrainierskies

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

mirab3lle

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

icouldwritebooks

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

crimeronan

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

agrestenoir

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

gin-and-eschatonic

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

harold-theyre-thespians

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

narwhalsarefalling

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

wren-likethe-bird

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

la-mancha-screwjob

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

fair-itself

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

maplefiasco

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

iamthatbeast

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

widonotts

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

artwlw

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

youlovelucie

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

spacecores

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

thebritishteapot

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

lexicalnuncance-deactivated2015

Ok, so I was watching Peppa Pig and well……this is one of tHE BEST MOMENTS EVER. I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

SHE JUSST HANGS UP ON HER

lexi-ebubbles

It’s now 2015, this almost has 300,000 notes. During this time I have moved blogs, almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning and now planning to be an animator soon. But if I’m remembered for anything, it’s going to be this fucking video I posted at the end of 8th grade.

novocainenumb-deactivated201503

lex i can’t fucking breathe this is gold i

musewarrior

I watch this with my 3 year old sister and our entire family loves this scene.

saportuh

triscribe

It’s very odd to have just started taking your shower, and have a goat stick her head in past the curtain in order to get a quick drink. 8/

yogurtbear242

Please e x p l a i n

triscribe

Okay, so it’s been getting down below freezing the last few nights, and of course this is the time of year that my mom’s nanny goat start to drop their babies. Evening before last, she was still out at the farm when one mama went into labor, and decided to stay put in case anything went wrong or the kidlets got too cold.

Mama Goat had two real quick, easy as pie, cleaned them off with Mom’s help as the temperature continued to drop. Then she had a third, itty-bitty-nothin’ of a baby, and my mother decided she couldn’t just leave Mama Goat be, knowing that there was a very good likelyhood at least one of those kidlets, probably the runt, would be dead by morning.

So she brought all four of them home.

To our house in the suburbs.

And brought them inside.

Into my bathroom.

Not the bigger master bath, of course, because that currently has five half-grown chickens living in it, and she didn’t want to upset anyone by forcing them into close quarters with another species.

/deadpan expression

Now, yesterday, I could ignore this situation easily enough, as I was at work most of the day and was fine using the toilet in the master bath since the chickens are used to me. Today, though, I really needed to take my shower that had been put off Wednesday afternoon to give Mama Goat time to acclimate to her new environment, and the water pressure in the master bath is abysmal. So, since Mama seemed to have calmed down a great deal and was content to focus more on her babies than me, I slipped in, got the water going and my music started, and proceeded to go about things in my usual manner.

Not two minutes had passed, however, when Mama Goat stuck her head in past the shower curtain, presumably to see wtf the human is up to, and was delighted to find water in a more plentiful amount that what was currently in her own bucket. And since I had no inclination to tick her off whatsoever, I simply stood there and waited until she finished licking up as much moisture as she wanted before continuing on with my washing.

Turned the water off when I was done, grabbed my phone and usual towel, patted each of the babies because they are adorable, and went on my relieved way. No harm, no foul.

…But I do really hope Mom moves them back to the farm before my next shower, because this is ridiculous, even for us.

gallusrostromegalus

You live a strange and gifted life. Pictures?

triscribe

Strange, yes. Gifted… On the worse days I would Strongly Disagree.

Pictures, as promised:

gallusrostromegalus

What beautiful children and also yes, I would be rather intimidated if I was naked and in a confined space with thier mother. Please tell them I love them.

nahshaw-deactivated20141008

true love is having a crush on him even after he got a haircut

freeselfdefense

Rape Escape

Easy and very effective

Requires nothing but your body

Includes attack

kny111

Very useful to know, pass and share please.

blog-archive-111189

Worth watching

heylookitseli-archives

I don’t mean to impose a personal favour on you guys, but I really would like to ask that everyone who follows me reblog this.

I don’t think I made it very clear but last month I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was my friend (I don’t want to talk about it don’t ask), and it’s… really fucked with my head.

Had I known this a month ago I would have been able to get away.

So, essentially, I’m really pleading with you to reblog this so everyone who follows you doesn’t get stuck in the same position I was with no way out.

I mean again I don’t want the point of this to be my sob story or whatever but if you could reblog this it would seriously mean a lot

leo-bish

and im asking to all of my followers who see this post in your dashboard to please press play to this video, you never know when this is gonna be

useful, PLEASE DON’T IGNORE IT.

appropriately-inappropriate

This is one of the first moves I was taught in Krav Maga, and it is one of the most effective.

It took me about a half hour to get down with practice, but once you get it, it’s an intuitive movement.

Please pass this along, it will save lives.

sprouting-colours-deactivated20

Important

hayei

Please reblog this.

madiithepand0rk-blog

Please, if you see this, Reblog it.

nailtipflips

If you see this, reblog please.

sigilcrafter

not witchy but definitely worth watching, stay safe

thatgayguywitch

If you follow me, REBLOG THIS

beyonslayed

when you wake up in a complicated ass mood

requiem-4-a-drink-deactivated20

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

rotg-fan-page

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

ckascade-deactivated20170413

Not risking it

unorthodox-views

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

wordsnquotes

Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.

Gloria Steinem (via wordsnquotes)

square-enix

is anyone else just going through life like “yeah i just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week

wnq-writers

10 pieces of advice to give yourself at the age of 20

At the age of 11, you learned that perfection does not always mean a flat tummy and a thigh gap. Go on and eat that second piece of cookie that you crave so much.

At the age of 12, you learned that just because you call her “mom” and him as “dad,” it doesn’t mean they inherently know how to be that. Also, suicide poison is not the cure for everything, it’s not a cure at all.

At the age of 13, you learned the difference between giving up and taking a rest. You might have given it your all but not make it. Remember to disregard everything that comes after but.

At the age of 14, you learned that standing up for everyone else does not mean that all of them will stand up for you when you need someone. Not one of them would be the first one to defend you, that spot is reserved for your name.

At the age of 15, you learned that people rarely mean what they say even if as a writer, you deem each and every word important. Learn to know the voices that speak sincerity and the voices that are just trying to get into your pants.

At the age of 16, you learned that letting go of people that only brings toxicity in your life is never a crime. Thinking about your own peace of mind does not make you selfish. Neither does placing yourself above that last number on your priority list.

At the age of 17, you learned that giving yourself to everyone willing could only lead to one thing: your own’s deterioration. Dear, you are more precious than someone who can’t even look into your eyes in the morning.

At the age of 18, you learned that loving and accepting yourself are two different things. Placing yourself in situations you are well aware of your self distraction is never loving yourself.

At the age of 19, you learned that lovers are not the only ones that can break your heart. People stay and go for a reason. Remember to treasure the rightful ones that life allowed to stay.

You’re 20 now and life has never been what you expected and planned it to be and that’s possibly the greatest thing that can happen into your life. You’re a writer but life writes with you, know when to let it leave significant marks and know when your own pen should be the one doing so.

written by bleakfantasies, writing prompt #62: list 10 pieces of advice you’d give yourself

(via wnq-writers)